Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you to everyone that is still reading and reviewing. I so appreciate you. My life is not exactly been he easiest lately and losing myself in writing this story, and reading your comments and reading other fanfic has been keeping me sane. So please don't underestimate that you contribute to my everyday. I appreciate you. Hope you enjoy this newest update.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sadly none of this belongs to me. Happlily it all belongs to the amazing Kurt Sutter and FX.

Question: I'm behind on my TV viewing, have any of you seen TBX and what do you think of it?

Chapter 13 – The Scientist

*Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles; coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

It's been a full 48 hours of the worst nightmare of his life. His wife is unconscious after emergency surgery. Tara had been in surgery for a full 8 hours before they had been provided any updates. A full 8 hours of life saving efforts. Her spleen removed, internal bleed stopped and a burr hole drilled in her head to make room for the brain swelling that now threatened her life. She'd been thrown through the front window of the mom SUV she drives when she has the kids with her.

All that, and a broken leg have left Tara Knowles-Teller in the hospital. 48 hours of silent prayers by her bedside have left both of the men in her life at a silent reprieve. They have agreed upon a silent schedule of one staying with her and the other going to the kids' rooms. Able and Thomas are awake, and sore and missing their mom, so all tears are put away for the few hours they spend with them. Charlie however is another story. The doctors have said that she's in a coma. For reasons unknown she just hasn't woken up. Of the three children she was by far the lest physically hurt, very few bruises, and no broken bones. The boys have tons of bruising and a few broken bones and fingers, but other than the fact that she won't wake up, you would have no idea anything was wrong with the fair haired little girl.

Jax walks back into Tara's room. She looks so small, and weak, and he hates that Chibs is holding her hand, but there's no room for bickering. She's strong, she's a fighter, but she doesn't need to hear the two of them still at each other throats.

He clears his throats and the other man looks back. "The boys are asking for you." He says.

Filip kisses Tara's hand and stand up. "Changing of the guards." He smiles and pats Jax on the back.

"Thomas…" Jax says and Chibs turns to face him. "He says that his favorite book, is One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Says you read it to him every day." There's still silence as Chibs only nobs. "We read that book today, three times already but he says you do the voices better."

"It's the accent, but I told 'em both I don't have an accent."

"Thank you." Jax says as he turns away from the man and takes Tara's hand. "Thank you for loving them and taking care of them when I didn't."

The scot has so much he wants to says, but now is not the time. "It's hard not to love them."

"It is." Is the only response Jax can give. It's silence for a moment more and when he turns the man behind him is gone. The room is deafeningly silent save for the beeping of the machines.

He pulls the chair closer to her bedside and holds her hand so gently, as if he's afraid she might break. She doesn't, and he wonders how he ever was so stupid to leave this woman behind. She would have been his partner, his best friend, and she would have been more then glad to help build the life for their family.

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science; science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

He strokes the hand of the only woman he has ever truly loved. "I use to think about where I went wrong. Which of my boneheaded moves was the one where I went too far. Which one was where I became someone I didn't even know. I think, among the many, one of the biggest is the day that I let you think you had a man you needed to change in order to love. I mean I pretty much had fixer upper written on me. You tried so hard to make a better boy of out me. Pushing me all through high school, hell you even left me behind and made this amazing life for yourself. You didn't need me and all my fucked up mommy baggage."

"But from the day I saw you back in Charming, right here at this very hospital, taking such good care of a kid that wasn't yours, just because that's who you are, and because he was mine, I knew I could never live up to these unrealistic ideals you had for me. The thing is, I didn't care. I have never in my entire life loved anyone the way I actively love you so I wanted to be that man. I wanted to reach those ideals you had set for me. I think the problem is, Tara, I wasn't that boy. I'm a fuck up. But I'm a fuck up that loves you. I use to think it was all about SAMCRO, but I left and here you are, happily embedded in the SONS hierarchy. Maybe I'll never be the man that fits those ideal, maybe one day I will, but I think the problem all along was that I'm just not the man, for you."

He lays his head on her hand and knows he's drifting off. 48 hours without sleep has finally taken it control of his body and he can't do a damn thing to stop it.

He's not sure how long he's been out, but when he looks up he's sure he's dreaming because Tara's beautiful green eyes are staring down at him. She still out of it, unsure of what's going on, she speaks, "Filip…"

The gravel in her voice shows that's it been days since she's spoken. He smiles so large it could blind anyone watching. Without a thought he pulls out his phone, still holding her hand he call Chibs cell.

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

He's been sitting beside Charlie for almost an hour, nearly losing his mind. After Tara woke up and asked for Chibs, the doctors rushed in along with him and Jax excused himself from the already crowded room. He did a quick check on the boys and then settled himself next to his little girl.

Sitting here, holding her hand it's almost the mirror image of where he was minutes before, only smaller. "Daddy's right here now, and I'm not going anywhere you won't be able know me ever again. I'll give you everything you need, anything you want. I'll get you a puppy, just please wake up." He's in tears. He's lost Tara he will not lose his daughter, he can't.

"Jax."

"How's Tara?" He asks Chibs as he clears his eyes.

"She's gonna be ok. Knows where she is, who the president is, and what two plus two is. Doctors says she's gonna be right as rain."

"That's great. She know what happened?"

"Aye, the prospects are taking her to see the boys and then here."

"I'll clear out." He says and stands.

"Ya don't have to do that brother." Chibs says sincerely.

"I have to do something. We have to do something. What the fuck happened out there?" He says feeling helpless and wanting something violent to do with his hands. Since he can't heal his children and Tara he wants desperately to hurt something, or someone.

"Tara says a blue SUV, blacked out windows ran them off the road."

"One9ers?"

"Not likely. The 9ers never have learned the art of subtly. More in line with current Irish practices, those chicken shit bastards hiding. More then likely it's retaliation for the meet. Bobby's sitting on Malone…"

Chibs knows he said more then he should as the wild eyed man in front of him is out of the room and down the hall before he can follow, but follow he does as he calls Bobby to fill him in. When there's no answer he calls Juice, Tig, Happy, and WW, and tells them to meet immediately at Jax's.

He arrives to find the men all sitting on their bikes in the drive.

"He still here?" He asks Tig as he turns off his own bike.

"Yeah, been in there about 10 minutes. Won't answer the door or the phone. What are we doing here pres?"

"Keep an eye on the back, make sure he hasn't gone after Connor on his own."

"Will do boss." Tig calls Wicked Willie to follow him and they move to the back of the house.

Chibs knocks on the door, not wanting to do any damage and break it down. It's another 5 minutes before he hears movement inside. He knocks again, and to his left he hears the garage door open. Inside he sees Jax, newly showered, hair slicked back, clean jean, and white t and Nike's. A reaper Kutte gracing his shoulders he turns the keys on the restored bike and pulls out.

"And where do you think your going?"

"I'm going to kill the son of a bitch that tried to run Tara and the kids off the road. I assume you're here to help?" He looks at the men before him. Stoic faces all around, except for a small smile he thinks he sees from Happy.

"Thought you'd never ask brother." Chibs pats his shoulder and goes back to his bike just as Tig and WW come into view.

They spy Jax on his bike. He straps on his helmet and looks at them, "You two pussy's gonna just stand there or you gonna make sure this bastard pays?"

Both men immediately hop on their bikes. Standing side-by-side, Jax nods for Chibs to pull out first. In return the man shakes his head and both Jax and Chibs pull out together as the merry band of the Sons of Anarchy falls into line behind them filling up the streets with a sound that's been too long gone… the sound of vengeance.

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

Tara assumes that she'll see Jax when she gets to Charlie's room. Her poor little boys didn't want to let her go. Thomas most of all held on to her neck for dear life. Able, trying his best not to act like a little boy anymore kept saying he was fine, but she could see him watching Thomas's every move, and making sure that he and his brother were never more then two inches from each other, and her.

It's hard to tell them goodnight. The sun is setting and it's time for their meds and she needs to see her daughter. The orderly checks her blood pressure, only slightly elevated, before he wheels her into the CCU.

She surprised, although only momentarily, that neither Chibs or Jax is here. That however is only fleeting as she sees her little girl lying in that bed, tubes in her small body, and machines feeding her. The prospect assigned to her fills her in on Charlie's status.

It's all too much. She can't stop the tears from falling as the touches the littlest Teller's forehead. "Mommy's here baby." She strokes her cheek.

"Where's Jax?" she asks " and Filip?"

"Not sure, they ran out of here about 15 minutes ago." He says.

She's never wanted to part of the SAMRO violence. She's always tried to change Jax and get him away it all. She only came back to Charming and the club after she tried to live a different life, realizing there was violence everywhere. But right now, as she watches her amazing baby lie in a hospital bed unconscious she prays with everything she has the Jax and Chibs are on their way to kill the men did this.

She prays they will make them pay, and they wont make it quick.

* Lyrics are The Scientist by Coldplay