11th grade


That guy is the worst.

Helga brought Leon to Rhonda's New Year's party. I spent the whole night watching them from behind planters and with my back casually to chairs they were sitting in. I have to know what she sees in him. But for a fleeting moment, right as they begin their midnight kiss, she locks eyes with me. And from that moment and every moment since, I've lived and breathed for you, dreamed of the moment I could finally tell you my secret feelings and could grab you and kiss you and—!

My year is a mess. I drop off the basketball team. It gives me more time. Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day? More time to journal. More time to draw. More time to follow. Filling volumes of books with poems about you? I see them at Chez Paris celebrating, their anniversary I suppose. I thought Chez Paris was special.

Junior Prom is coming up. Gerald and Phoebe really want me to come with them, they think I need to get out more and raise my spirits. I buy a ticket, but I don't know if I'll go. If they really think I should get out more, there is this camp I found…


That guy is the best.

I brought Leon to Rhonda's New Year's party. He is just so charming and wonderful. I am really lucky to have a guy like Leon, but at the same time… he isn't HIM. He isn't Arnold. Midnight comes along with a kiss and I can't help but glance over to Arnold and melt at the sight of him. And from that moment and every moment since, I've lived and breathed for you, dreamed of the moment I could finally tell you my secret feelings and could grab you and kiss you and—!

My year is great. I make captain of the varsity team. But being captain gives me less time. Less time to read, less time to write. I do still have time for my wonderful boyfriend, and we have our one year anniversary at Chez Paris. Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day? If I had known that was where he was taking me, I'd have suggested someplace else. Filling volumes of books with poems about you? Chez Paris was special.

Junior Prom is coming up for me, and the Senior Ball for Leon. We have tickets to both dances, and Phoebe and I are going to go dress shopping together. I also have the money for camp, and just need to get my application together for it…


This brings us to the time of year between spring break and prom. This story continues in Cruel Summer.

Thank you for reading!