Thanks once again for the reviews, they really mean a lot to me! Here's the next chapter, hope you like it :)
The doors the the Emergency Department slid open as Erin sprinted down the wide hall. She stopped short, her eyes frantic as she breathed heavy. Taking another large step forward her hand slapped down roughly against the counter and she was met with two familiar faces.
"Erin." Natalie said calmly as she turned from her conversation with Maggie. Sensing the terror in Erin's eyes, Nat set a firm smile on her lips. But Erin shook her head in response, slamming her hands once again against the countertop.
"Where's Will? Where's Jay? Is he alright?" The words came out jumbled together and tears pooled up in her eyes. Her breaths fast and uneven as Nat circled the nurse's station to stand in front of her.
"Erin." she stated once again. "I need to to take a deep breath and calm down." Erin shook her head, but Natalie ignored the motion as she continued. "I really need you to breath for me. Will is just-"
"Erin!"
Erin's head quickly snapped to the side, watching as Will sprinted toward them from the hall that led into the main hospital.
Panic set in as Will paused for a moment, silently catching his breath as he bent forward resting his hands against his knees.
"Will!" She screamed, worry filling the single-syllable word.
He shot up, brows furrowing for a moment before he nodded. "He's fine, Erin. Jay's fine." he offered, breaths still harsh and uneven.
Erin glared back to him, shaking her head and raising her eyebrow in return. "Where is he?"
"They took him to run a few more tests and then up to a private room for observations. Last I heard, they just wanted to keep him for a few hours to insure everything is alright before he can be discharged."
She sighed, running a hand through her hair before nodding toward him. "Alright." Letting out another deep breath she thought for a moment. "Alright. Can I see him?"
Will sighed, biting his lip and shaking his head as he sent a worried glance toward Nat. She gave him a small shrug in response before turning her attention back toward Erin, letting Will work around the situation. "Erin, I really don't know if that's such a good idea right now."
Erin tilted her head in response. Eyes narrowing as her hands made their way to her hips. "Alright, Will. Let's try that again." she said, planting a large, fake smile against her lips. "What room is he in? I'm going to see him. And next time I swear to god I will kill you if you don't call me the second you find out my fiancé is in the hospital!"
Sucking in a sharp breath, Will let the air slowly leave his lungs, mulling over his answer. He disregarded her threat, focusing instead on the question. "Fine. I'll take you up to his room." Ignoring Nat's curious glance, he tilted his head pointedly toward the elevator before briskly stepping away from the ED and pressing the arrow that led them into the main floors of the hospital.
She stood silent, her mind racing as her foot tapped quickly against the shinny elevator floor. Will stole occasional glances over to her, but stayed quiet by her side as he ran through a few likely scenarios in his mind, each with unfortunate endings. And then a slight smirk played across his lips right as the doors dinged open and he gestured Erin out into the halls. He walked ahead of her as they took a sharp left, then a right, directly followed by another right until they were in a small corridor with large windows on the left side and hospital rooms stacked one after the other on the right.
He walked past a few of the partially opened doors before he slowed in front of one. A deep sigh leaving his lips as his chest rose timidly. "You ready for this?"
A raised eyebrow and crossed arms were all the response he received as he rolled his eyes back at her. Nodded once before gripping onto the door handle and swinging the door open completely to reveal his hospital-gown covered brother.
The hospital bed was slightly elevated and he sat with the covers hanging loosely around his chest as he absentmindedly flipped through channels on the small box TV hanging from the far wall. His body was rigid yet a slight smile rested against his mouth before his head turned at the sound of footsteps. The smile fell instantly from his lips.
Jay rolled his eyes, pointing with the remote over to them. "I thought I made it perfectly clear I didn't want her here."
Erin's eyes widened slightly as she sent a questioning gaze toward Will who shook his head in response. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he crossed his arms and shrugged. "Should of thought of that before you had yourself admitted to the hospital. Seeing as Erin is number one on your emergency contact list, I couldn't do much about the nurses contacting her when you were hauled off for tests, could I?"
Jay huffed, blowing out a deep breath of air as he brought his IV covered hand to rake through the greasy mess he was referring to as hair, being careful to avoid the large bandage covering his forehead. "Well, as you can see, I'm fine. So you can go now."
Erin shook her head, inching forward as she crossed her arms defiantly. "What the fuck were you thinking?"
He rolled his eyes once again, watching as Will gave her a reassuring grip on the shoulder before turning and leaving the room. Promising to return in a few minutes, as soon as he received the results from the blood work.
"Erin, calm down." Jay said, eyes scanning around the small hospital room with an anxious expression. "I'm completely fine. I just drank a little too much."
"A little?!" Erin practically screamed. Her eyes hardened and she took a deep breath, willing herself to relax before continuing. "Drinking a little too much is like me and Mouse having to carry your ass up four flights of stairs on the Fourth of July." Jay winced slightly, but Erin ignored it and continued. "A little is not passing out in the bathroom at a CVS after splitting your head open."
Jay shook his head, unfazed by her outburst. So, he drank a little bit excessively? Strolled down the darkened street and absentmindedly chugged the warming liquid from the six pack he picked up at the 7-eleven earlier in the night. He somehow managed to find his way inside a CVS in the early hours of the morning and tripped on his way out of using their bathroom. If it didn't bother him, he couldn't see why it seemed to be such a big deal to her. It wasn't like he was actually drunk anyways- just had a little too much to drink, that's all.
"You're overreacting." he stated simply.
"Overreacting? Jay you could have died!"
Jay sighed as he shook his head at her outburst and Will walked back into the small room. He shot Jay a worried glance before focusing his attention toward Erin. Clearing his throat, he planted a smile on his lips, although his brows furrowed as he nudged his head in the direction of the door. "Uhm. Can I talk to you in the hall for a sec?"
Erin's brows scrunched together in return but she nodded her head, tapping Jay's leg and letting him know she'd be right outside if he needed anything. He offered a short nod in response and the corner of her mouth pulled into a small smile as she followed Will out the door.
"Well?" she asked, arms crossing tightly into her body.
He let out a deep breath as his eyes traveled down to the iPad in his hand. "I ran a few extra tests...off the record."
Erin didn't respond. Instead she took one step closer, eyes lingering over the tablet in his hand as she scanned for any useful information. Will watched her cautiously for a moment before he passed the iPad clenched tightly in his hand over to her. Watched as she scanned the page before her eyes widened in shock and then set in hard line as she marched back into the room, the iPad firmly held in her hand. Her eyes hard and fixed on Jay as she stormed toward him. "What else did you take? Huh?! What else?"
Will followed close behind, concern evident on his face as he took a worried step closer to Erin.
Jay's eyes widened in surprise as he shifted uncomfortably in the stiff hospital bed. "What are you talking about?"
Throwing the iPad roughly onto his lap Erin shook her head, her teeth tugging roughly at her bottom lip. "Don't play stupid on me."
"Your tests came back." Will interjected, a slight shrug in his shoulder as he glared down at Jay. "They indicated small amounts of benzodiazepine, MDMA, and dextromethorphan in your system. Care to explain?"
Jay took a large breath in, letting his eyes shut and his head hang before focusing his attention on the screen in his lap. Picked it up and scanned over the charts displayed. Taking another deep breath, he let his fingers rest over the screen as he turned his head back towards awaiting eyes. "Sounds like you already know."
Erin frowned, taking a step forward as a scowl formed across her face. "We know what's in your system, Jay. I want to know what exactly you took."
Jay laughed humorously, his arms crossing tightly into his chest before he turned his attention completely toward her. "Why don't you tell me, Erin? You always have been the expert, right?"
Her eyes widened in response and she sucked in a quick intake of air. One subject that Jay never judged her for- not even during their worst fights- was her struggle with substances. He had always been supportive of her, even when she was at her worst.
"You know that's not fair." she whispered.
"Yeah, well…" he shrugged, letting his sentence go unfinished.
Erin sighed, taking a step toward the bed to rest her hands on the firm mattress. "I'm trying to help you here, Jay. Let me."
"I don't need any help." he replied bitterly, eyes firmly locked on hers.
She took another step closer, moved one of her hands forward, skimming her fingertips across the blankets before her touch landed against his leg. He flinched slightly at the contact before swallowing roughly and focusing his gaze on her hand. "Jay, please. If you just talk to me- or anyone- we can get through this. It's not going to be easy, but I'm not going to leave you. I'll be there the whole time, whatever you need. Okay?"
He shook his head in response, eyes drifting closed as he let the words sink in and he tried to process them through his foggy mind. Taking a sharp breath, he exhaled shakily before letting his eyes meet hers once again. The glimmer of them desperately trying to mask the pain threatening to show right below the surface. He bit at the soft skin of his cheek as he thought. Before he let a bitter chuckle escape his lips and he shrugged. "You're wasting your time, Erin."
"No, no. No- I'm not, so if you'll just let me-"
"Erin!" he yelled, making her wince at the volume of his voice. "Stop. Stop trying to fix this- to fix me. Please, just stop it."
Sighing, he ran a hand across his face and through the overgrown stubble on his cheek. Stilling near his temple as the thudding of his head intensified. Each thud digging deeper and deeper, ricocheting off of him in waves. Making him grit his teeth and wince. "Go home. Get out. Find someone else who needs saving."
The words were harsh, emotionless. They made Erin pull her hand back from him as she shook her head, silently willing him to open up to her. But he had completely shut down, the events of the previous night catching up to him, and all he could focus on was sleep. All he wanted was rest- some quiet for a few hours.
"When the hell am I getting out of here anyway?" He asked, fixing his glare on his brother instead of Erin.
Will shook his head in response, a smirk forming on his lips as he shrugged. Amusement evident on his face as he set his brows in a hard line. "Funny thing about that. You're not actually."
Jay's eyebrow shot up in return in form of a silent question as he waited for Will to continue.
"You're severely dehydrated, blood pressure is through the roof, were unconscious when you arrived, and you're still slightly hypothermic. Add to that the fact that we've still got you on fluids and your blood alcohol level when you were brought in-" Will frowned, taking a step closer to the bed. "-Jay, Erin's right. I don't think you realize how serious this could have been!"
Jay let out a hollow laugh. "Really? Well, I guess it's a good thing that I'm perfectly fine, isn't it?"
"I'd say you're pretty damn far from fine." Will stated, taking another step forward. Jay stayed silent, a small smirk playing on his lips as his brother's anger grew. Will's chest rose hard and steady before he let out a sharp chuckle, leaning inches away from the hospital bed. "Look, the way I see it here, you have two choices. Get the fuck up, out of this hole you've been digging yourself in for the past two months. Fix your life, and start trying to find Jay again."
He took a deep breath, eyes hard. "Or- or we can make this real simple on you, Jay. You don't wanna change? Fine. That's okay too. Tomorrow you won't be discharged. I'll go and speak with Dr. Charles and you'll go right over to the psych ward and I'll make sure you stay there until I'm good and ready for you to come home."
"Your choice. But if I were you, I'd start getting my shit together real fucking fast." He added with a shrug before turning on his heels. Motioning Erin out of the room with a silent nod of his head as she stared at him walking out the door.
Sighing, Erin gave Jay one final look. Their eyes meeting for just a moment as she stared with a pleading expression. He swallowed roughly, chest falling hard as he opened his mouth slightly. But she shook her head in response- effectively cutting him off before turning and following Will into the hospital hall.
She watched as Will raked his hand through curly locks, groaning loudly.
"You really think that did anything?"
He laughed, hands falling loosely to his side as he shook his head and shrugged. "Probably not. I'm just tired of him being a dick all of the time." he answered honestly.
A genuine chuckle escaped her lips as Will continued. "I'll check on him later when I start shift. Let you know if there's any updates. If not, I'll pick you up at noon tomorrow and we'll figure it out from there."
Erin nodded in response.
"You should head home, Erin. Try to relax, even if it's just a little bit." She gave him an apprehensive stare and he glared with determined eyes before taking a step forward. Gently wrapped his arms around her small frame for just a moment before pulling back and looking into her teary eyes. "I will call you tonight. Go home, Erin."
And with that, he gave one final squeeze to her shoulder before stepping back. Left Erin to swipe a quick hand across her cheek to catch a fallen tear before she watched as Will turned and walked away- the opposite direction they came in from. She frowned for a moment, shifting her gaze to the hospital room door before taking a step down the long hallway. Retracing her steps until she found her way back to the first corridor they had walked through. The elevator just down the hall from her as she took large, determined steps.
"Hey, Erin!" Natalie's voice called, the stethoscope around her neck swinging rapidly as she sprinted down the hall to catch up to the detective.
Erin slowed, pressing the down arrow for the elevator. "Hey, Nat." she nodded back.
Natalie took a deep breath, her eyes falling to the tiled floor for a moment before returning to the women in front of her. "Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but-"
The dinging of the elevator door stopped Nat's words as Erin stepped inside. She put up a hand defensively to stop Nat from entering the enclosed space with her. "Now is really not a good time." she said sharply as the door shut between the two of them.
Her eyes drifted closed as the elevator swayed beneath her. Guided her back down to the Emergency Department entrance. As the doors opened, Erin silently shuffled down the hall. Gaze firmly planted on the white tiled floor. Ignored the looks of familiar doctors and nurses as she pulled her keys from her jacket pocket and took heavy steps into the cool night air.
The car started with a loud roar and she focused her thoughts on the busy Chicago streets. Never letting her mind wander as she took sharp turns down familiar roads. Foot fixed against the gas as her hands dug into the worn leather of the wheel in front of her. Gaze transfixed on the mixing streetlight colors as her teary eyes slightly obstructed her vision.
As soon as the car was parked in her designated parking spot, she hopped out. Feet moving quickly toward the building entrance as the wind slapped against her cheek. She opted for the stairs, taking them two at a time before landing on her floor and making her way toward the door. Unlocked it in one quick motion as she kicked the boots off her feet with a heavy sigh. Stripped her clothes as she walked through the darkened apartment until she finally reached her destination and stepped inside as her skin brushed against the cool porcelain and turned the knobs in one quick motion.
The scalding water fell hard against her bare skin. Washing away the events of the past few hours. Each drop feeling like a needle, digging and prodding at her skin. Probing for new information. Searching for unshed tears, unspoken emotions. Erin took one shaky breath in, letting a warm tear fall down the smooth skin of her cheek. Once the single tear fell, her walls broke, sending a flood of emotions overboard. The warm tears mixing with the scorching water hitting her face.
Hard sobs escaped her as she reached for the bar of soap. Scrubbed and scrubbed as she tried to wash down the events of the last two months. Scrub past the surface, into her memory. Erase it all until everything was just a far off nightmare. The bar of soap fell from her hand against the hot porcelain floor. Another loud cry erupting as Erin's hand mechanically worked to wash away the lingering suds. Stilled as it reached the small, almost unnoticeable swell starting to form on her bare abdomen.
And her body collapsed. The weight of the events taking their toll as Erin cried herself into a heaping mess at the bottom of the tub. Hand protectively resting over her stomach as the hard water jabbed into her small frame and she curled herself into a tight ball.
A/N: I think it's neat to play out Erin being there for Jay as her past demons show through in his current ones. Add onto that the fact that the biggest rock in her life isn't there- she literally is fighting to stay grounded and fighting to pull Jay to the surface. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you thought! :)
