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Jay's eyes were heavy with sleep as he groggily forced his way back to consciousness and adjusted himself on the hard hospital bed. Shifted to his back and squinted his eyes tighter shut as he felt the brightness and heat from the sun illuminating through his eyelids from the open hospital room curtains. And then in one quick motion they popped open as he heard a faint knock on the door.

"I was hoping I'd make my way over to see you before you went home today."

A small smile and nod were offered over in return. His eyes cautious as they glanced over at Dr. Charles' frame walking swiftly towards the edge of the bed. Settled on the glasses hanging loosely over the bridge of his nose.

"How are you doing, Jay?"

He sighed, running a hurried hand through his hair as he mulled over the simple question. Talking to Will and Erin was easy enough for him, he stayed focused and direct and avoided any of their heartfelt offers.

Talking to a psychiatrist was different. Especially one he had known for years. One who had helped the unit multiple times during heavy cases. Helped Will deal with the medical board after a difficult procedure led to a slue of accusations. Helped Natalie when post-partum depression came in full swing a few weeks after she returned to work after the birth of Owen. Helped Erin when he nearly lost her once again to all of the demons she carried around.

Taking in a shaky breath, Jay let his eyes fall closed. Swallowing the large lump in his throat before his eyes once again locked with the doctor in front of him. "I'm fine."

"Hm." Dr. Charles replied warmly as his eyes stayed fixed on Jay's. He let a small smile creep across his face as he cleared his throat and began reciting words as though reading them directly from a textbook, "To feel very well…perhaps in an excellent manner? As though everything is in perfect place and settled around yourself."

Jay raised his eyebrow in question, contemplating the words for a brief moment before he furrowed his brows further in confusion.

"That is fine, after all. By definition of course." Dr. Charles added with a shrug as he took a step toward the bed. Set his hand softly on the edge of the mattress. "Does that describe how you're feeling?"

Jay exhaled- a sharp release of breath as he stared down at the floor for a moment. Shook his head with a light chuckle before looking back up at waiting eyes. "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do here-" A raised eyebrow from Dr. Charles made Jay roll his eyes and shift in the bed. "-but I really am fine. Thank you anyways."

A soft smile played on the psychiatrist's lips as he stared down at Jay. Patted his hand lightly onto the bed before nodding toward him. "And that's perfectly okay."

Jay let a grin grow across his lips as he tilted his head once in silent victory. Watched as Dr. Charles looked about the room once more before his gaze settled in on the TV against the far wall. And he stared for a moment- focusing in on the old black-and-white movie that had been playing across the screen. Then in a sudden motion, he turned his eyes back toward Jay's, an unreadable expression on his face.

"But, if you'd ever like to be more than fine, I'd like to help you try. If you'll have me." he offered, a small shrug in his shoulder as he turned on his heels and headed out of the small hospital room.

Jay let out a frustrated sigh. Ran a hand through his hair as he mulled over their conversation, and the conversation of the night before. Only sighed louder when her heard the soft mumbles of Dr. Charles and familiar voices right outside the door. Fixed hard eyes on the door as it swung open once again and Erin made her way toward his bed.

"Hey." A small smile was planted on her lips, but her eyes were weary. Her hair was thrown loosely back into a bun, exposing her face to the bright hospital room lightening. Making it apparent that she had gotten very little- if any- sleep at all from the large purple bags under her eyes. The red rim around them also made it clear she had been crying recently.

He looked at her, eyes traveling her small frame as his leg bounced nervously and his brows dropped before offering a quick response.

"Hi."

Their eyes stayed locked on one another's. Silent words bouncing off the stark white walls. She opened her mouth a few times, as if to start up some form of conversation. But failed each time, shutting it quickly as her gaze stayed fixed on his. Taking a few steps forward, she placed her hand on his blanket covered leg, stilling the movement beneath her hand. He let out a tired sigh, eyes heavy as they focused on her fingers tracing small patterns, relishing on the feel of her touch through the thin cotton material.

"Alright!" Will shot out, shifting both of their attention back toward the door. "So you're free to go. I guess the only question is, where to?"

Jay groaned, immediately glaring over at his brother. Eyes hard in an even stare as Will stared right back. Another loud groan left his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head in response. "Really?"

Will smirked, completely unamused at his younger brother's attitude. "I wasn't joking yesterday, Jay. The choice is all on you. So, where are we taking you?"

Letting out a large sigh, Jay's eyes wandered the small room. He focused in on the IV in his hand and gritted his teeth for a moment before turning his attention back up. Before looking at Erin staring at him with hopeful eyes. She gave him a small, almost unnoticeable smile and nodded her head.

"If you think I'm staying in this hell-hole for another minute, then you've lost your damn mind. I'm going home."

"Great!" Will responded enthusiastically, flinging his hand up to emphasize his point. "That's what I thought you would say. Your nurse is on her way in and we'll get you out of here."

Jay nodded once in understanding before turning his head back toward the small TV. Focusing his attention on the old movie still playing across the screen. He only looked up occasionally when the nurse entered along with another doctor to ask a few questions. Muttered out a few short responses as they took out his IV and Erin set down a bag filled with clothes for him to change into.

He took off in silence towards the bathroom, leaning up against the wall for support as he changed into the gray sweats and Blackhawks t-shirt that were brought for him. As he sluggishly made his way back into the hospital room, he wasn't surprised to see the wheel chair waiting for him. And he only rolled his eyes as he sat down and listened to Will ramble on about hospital policy and how he needed to take it easy for the remainder of the day as he was wheeled toward the elevator and down to the car.

Although they only lived a few miles away from Chicago Med, the car ride back to the apartment took over forty-five minutes thanks to heavy lunch traffic and a bad car wreck that had jammed up most of the downtown. Jay tried to take the ride to his advantage as he let his head lull back against the leather seat and shut his eyes. But his stomach turned and head pounded as the events of the past forty-eight hours started to take their toll on his body. Every bump and pothole made him wince and suck in a sharp breath as he willed away a new wave of nausea.

Instead of focusing in on the constant rumble of his stomach or the conversation between Will and Erin in the front seat- their hushed tones, voices filled with concern- he stared out into the busying street. Watching as they slowly passed by familiar roads and turned down each street. He studied the faces of each person they passed by, searching them for any sign of familiarity. Hoping for some small form of comfort to dull the sharp stabbing in his skull, to rid the never-ending ache in his chest.

When Will finally killed the engine to the car, Jay opened the door and took off toward the apartment building before the keys even left the ignition. Left Erin and Will sitting in shocked silence for a few moments before hastily exiting the car after him. They took quick strides toward the building before Erin's hand swung up and grabbed tightly onto Will's arm, halting his movement. He jerked backwards at her grasp as his eyes darted back toward her. Eyebrow raised in silent question.

Erin took in a deep breath of air, letting her grip slowly slacken on his arm, but not fully letting go. "Maybe it's better if I'm the only one that goes in with him. Just for now? It might make things a little easier on him."

A small shake of the head was the only response, followed by a short chuckle. Will quickly shook out of her grip, took one step around her and towards the building.

Erin frowned. "Will, I'm serious!"

Turning back around to face her again, his brows scrunched up in confusion. "You really think that's a good idea right now? Honestly, Erin?" He took a step toward her, putting his hand on his hips as she scoffed in response.

"We finally got him back here, Erin. Let me make sure he stays."

Erin rolled her eyes, looking around Will's shoulder, she watched as Jay walked into the building before turning her attention back to him. "Don't treat me like I'm incapable of handling him, Will!" She growled, eyes hard as they searched his. "He's not going anywhere. Please."

He let out a deep groan, running fingers roughly through his hair as he debated her request. Let his eyes fall shut for a short moment as he replayed the events of the last couple of days, and then the last few weeks. And then focused in on the fact that she was able to get him home. No matter how hard Jay was putting up a fight, he chose to come here today. Some part of him was ready to start facing this, and he needed to be with her in order to do it.

"Fine." Will finally agreed, making Erin smirk in success. "But I'm coming to check on you later." He added firmly.

Erin's glare stayed locked on his for a moment as she thought. Then she nodded once before stepping around him and into the building. Only offering a short wave over her shoulder right before she stepped inside of the entranceway. Took the elevator up to the fourth floor in silence and stepped out to find Jay waiting at the end of the hall. His head leaned roughly against the apartment door and hands hanging limply at his side.

She sighed, taking large strides down the hallway. "Lost your key?"

At the sound of her voice, Jay jumped slightly, only making the pounding in his head intensify. He looked back at her, noting the smirk on her lips and mumbled out a short reply before stepping out of the way. Letting her unlock the door and walk inside of the apartment before following behind.

His eyes skimmed around the room as his feet moved forward. The place that he had called home for almost two years seemed like a far-off dream...a distant memory that belonged to a person who no longer existed.

He guided himself farther into the apartment until something caught his attention- an older picture frame perched on the bookcase, and without thinking, he took a step toward it. Focused in on the photo of the two of them together- bright eyes and wide smiles as her hair whipped widely in the cool Wisconsin air. He recognized it instantly, and had to shut his eyes to will away the tightness forming in his chest. Memories flashed through him as he breathed in the long-forgotten joy illuminating off the picture- vivid images dancing through is head.

Night swims in the cold lake- her legs wrapped around his torso as she let out uncharacteristically girly giggles into his ear.

The smell of burning fish as smoke billowed out of the kitchen and he doubled-over in laughter, watching as Erin panicked in front of the stove- feet scurrying around the kitchen as she screamed at him to stop making fun of her and help before the whole place burned down.

Her body pressing tighter against his as he shifted uncomfortably on the not-so-supple and way-too-firm couch and the fireplace crackled in front of them- her cold hands roaming under the hem of his henley and a smirk played on her lips as he yelped at her touch.

Jay visibly jumped as Erin's voice shot through the apartment, taking him out of his thoughts. "Well I don't know about you, but I could really go for some food." He turned away from the picture, meeting her eyes as a small grin formed on her lips. "What about you? You hungry?"

He groaned, sucking in a deep breath of air as his stomach flipped at the mention of food. Swallowed roughly as another wave of nausea threatened to escape. Oblivious to his pained expression, Erin took a step forward, the grin growing on her face. "I can make us something for lunch."

A raised eyebrow and questioning stare made Erin chuckle. In five years of being together, both of them were well aware cooking was not something she succeeded in, ever. "Okay, point taken." She nodded."Pizza? Chinese? What are you in the mood for?"

"Erin…"

"Jay, you have to eat." She warned, taking a small step into the kitchen.

Jay adamantly shook his head. "Look...no offense Erin, but I'm not really in the mood for small talk over some lo mein and egg rolls."

The thudding in his head intensified as he turned his attention toward the dark entrance way to the bedroom. He let out a heavy breath and brought a hand up to rub against his temple. "You wanted me home and you got me here."

Letting out another shaky breath, Jay turned to look over his shoulder, meeting Erin's pleading eyes. He sighed, bitting at his lower lip before responding. "I'm just really tired, Erin. I'm gonna go take a nap."

He turned toward the bedroom door and shut it quickly, ignoring her once-again repeating that he needed to eat. Left Erin to stand in the middle of the living room with a deep frown on her face as she stared at the bedroom door. And she waited. Stood staring at the dark wood blankly, breathing heavy as her eyes pleaded with the oak before a large yawn escaped her. She sighed and plopped down roughly onto the couch beneath her. Let her hands skim the soft cushion before her eyes drifted shut for a brief moment and she curled her feet up onto the couch as well. Before she let her body relax against the cushion and her eyes drifted shut once again.

A loud knock at the door caused her eyes to fly open as Erin swung her feet off the couch. Rubbed her tired eyes for a moment as a loud yawn escaped her lips before she reached into her pocket and clicked the small button on her phone. She did a double take as her eyes focused in on the time, reading 9:46 pm. A short nap had turned into almost eight solid hours of sleep. As she groggily made her way across the room, she let out another small yawn as the thudding at the door intensified. Swinging it open she was met with familiar deep-blue eyes.

Will shrugged. The grocery bags in his hands lifting up into her vision in silent greeting.

She smiled, opening the door further and swung up her hand in invitation. "Hey."

"Hey." he offered in return as he watched her turn back toward the seemingly empty apartment. Let his eyes wander to the closed bedroom door and nodded to himself as relief washed through him and he contemplated his next words carefully. "So, I was talking to Nat last night…"

"Yeah?" Erin nodded over her shoulder as she made her way into the kitchen with Will right behind her.

He sighed, letting the breath slowly leave his lungs as he placed the grocery bags onto the small countertop. Immediately, Erin began unpacking the contents as he sat at the island and watched her under worried eyes. "Says she ran into Dr. Kelly over at Med."

"Oh?"

Will let the frown spread over his face as he watched her hurriedly empty the plastic shopping bags. Her hands constantly busy as her feet scurried across the room. Placed a new box of cereal in the cabinet with silent determination.

A loud groan caused her to jump slightly, but she kept her gaze fixed on the box in front of her. "Erin, that's the third appointment you've cancelled. You cannot keep rescheduling this and putting it off!"

She turned her head over her shoulder. Watched as his concerned gaze fell to the countertop in front of him.

"I'm fine, Will. I've just been a little bit bu-"

"Busy?" he cut her off. Eyes returning to hers in a hard stare. "Yeah, and I get that, Erin. I really do. But this is not something you can put on the back-burner until Jay gets his shit together! It's been weeks and you still haven't gone back to the doctor."

He slammed his hands down on the counter to push himself up as the wood barstool scrapped across the floor. "It doesn't matter if Jay's hunched over a bottle in the middle of some grimy bar nine drinks in, or sitting at a desk at the 21st with a badge pinned to his belt- that baby is coming, and you're gonna have to-"

"Shhh!" Erin practically screamed over to him. Her finger pressed tight to her lips with wide eyes. "Could you please keep your damn voice down, Will!"

A brittle laugh escaped him as he shook his head in response. Moved farther from the small island to pace in front of the kitchen. He let his head fall backwards as a loud sigh erupted from within. "You need to tell him."

"I know." She nodded, eyes pleading.

He shook his head back at her, eyebrows raised in silent question.

"I will, I really will." The words fell in quiet breaths as she ran a hand across her forehead. Tucked a fallen piece of hair behind her ear and willed the tears stinging her eyes not to fall.

"I just- I just really wanted it to be Jay that I was telling, you know? I wanted him to want this. I thought that he would want this." She added, as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Yeah...yeah, I know." he replied, all anger void from his voice. A sad smile formed against his lips as he took a step forward.

"This is still my brother we're talking about, Erin. He's still Jay." he whispered as determination filled his voice and unshed tears pooled up in his eyes. The corners of his mouth tugged up a little higher as he stared back at her. "And he loves you, always has. So tell him. Please."

He shrugged, picking up his discarded keys off the counter before turning toward the apartment door. Took two steps forward before rotating around to face her once again. "Who knows, he might surprise you. Might surprise all of us."

Her eyes fell closed as she took in a shaky breath and listened to the sound of the apartment door click shut. Leaving her alone in the darkening room as the words bounced around her head. Tears pooled in her eyes as her mind replayed the conversation over and over. And she leaned roughly against the kitchen wall before sliding down and landing against the cool wood floor, bringing her knees to her chest as hard sobs once again broke free. Will's voice echoing through her mind. He's still Jay. He still loves you.


A/N: This is my first multi-chapter fic and it means a lot to hear that you all are liking it! I really, really appreciate hearing from everyone, and reading the reviews that you all are liking what I'm doing with this story. With that being said, I hope you liked this chapter! Let me know what you thought!