Sorry for the lack of update in awhile, work's been crazy DX
Those brown, watery eyes looked up at Edward as he lay atop his bed sheets. Her cold nose pressed against his fleshy elbow to get him to face her, but he wasn't paying much attention. Her master was deep in thought. Alex tilted her head, he usually wanted to get up by now and make some food. But he just lay there, silent sadness looming over his tired body. This only added to her confusion.
Fully dressed and ready for the day, he couldn't get himself to actually begin preparing for Winry's late night arrival. Edward still had a good ten hours before she arrived with Mustang, but he felt there just wasn't enough time to be ready. So he lay on his bed, wondering just how badly tonight was going to go…
Alex moaned and made a little frustrated growl in the back of her throat. Taking her front left paw she landed it heavily on Edward's chest, giving him a start. "Oof! Alex!..."He was just about to give out, but then she lay her head softly on his chest and stretched her tongue out to lick his stubbled chin. To that, he gave her snout a soft touch. "Mm, it's hard to get mad at you. If only I had that puppy dog charm...I could get out of anything..."
Edward took his out stretched hands and placed them over his face, hiding as much as he possibly could. He had hit a particularly bad low during the night and still had not shaken it's dark punch. Maybe it was the drink, or the thought of facing his past. Or maybe it was the same nightmare he has every night turning in a new direction. This time, as he sat opposite his brother on the train, he was finally able to hear one or two muffled words coming out of his younger brother's armour. "It's...ft42t%4ve….blame...68&4%gwwb….you" and then the explosion happened again.
Ed felt a lump form in his throat. This was too hard, way too hard. 'He really would blame me.' Taking a stuttered, upsetting breath in, he prevented himself from crying.
"I wish I could just run...that I didn't need my shitty, broken body fixed".
His lips began to quiver and this only made Alex whine more. Why was her master so upset? Was he in pain? Hungry? Did he need to play?
The black coated dog took her leave from the bed and began searching the room. Before Edward even noticed she had gone, she had thrown something soft and fuzzy right onto his face. Ed lay there for a second, inhaling the musty smell before coughing and grabbing at the object. "What's this Alex?" Ed took it from his face only to realise by the shape and texture, that he was holding a small teddy bear. He could feel the embroidered eyes and mouth, the patchwork on the legs and a slight tear in the stomach that had some stuffing falling out. "Where did you get this?"
Alex barked playfully on the floor and jumped in place. He could hear her nails skittering on the floorboards excitedly. Ed couldn't help but smile as he sat up on his bed, crossing his legs. Alex continued to bark, her very loud 'Bows!' sounding eerily like 'Throw! throw! Throw!'.
"Alright, alright! But if this is Mustang's secret shame then I'm blaming you for destroying it!" He threw the bear across the room and Alex went bounding after it. She overshot and slid right into the wall causing a loud crashing sound. "Alex!..." Edward went to get up, thinking his dog had knocked herself out. But scampering back as quickly as possible, Alex bounded over to Edward before he could even get out of bed. She plopped the bear right back into his lap and began barking again happily.
"Haha! You are a barrel aren't you. Okay, i'll try aim for the open door this time."
The next hour was spent with Edward throwing the stuffed bear for Alex, it getting slimier with each turn. Eventually Alex stopped bringing it back and instead jumped on the bed next to Edward. She collapsed heavily on his lap in a heap, panting like a steam train. Even Edward had worked up a small sweat throwing the bear for that long. He leant his back on the bed backboard and stroked her soft, thick coat. He could feel the heat rising off her body and the small pool of drool collecting on the knee of his trouser leg.
There was something accomplishing about getting this dog exhausted. He was happy he could make her happy.
After a rest, Ed decided it was about time they got some breakfast. Or rather lunch, he thought they had been playing there a while. Ed began to get up which caused Alex to awaken quite quickly and get ready for today's work. He found it fascinating how her personality changed once she knew she had a job. She wasn't the silly dog who slid into walls and craved rubs. She was the graceful, timid and serious employee. He took her harness and let her lead him downstairs.
Once in the kitchen he began making up his own lunch and Alex's dog food. He could still hear Alex panting beside him and that got him thinking. 'Maybe she needs more exercise than I can give her… She needs walking.' He took his plate and sat down at the kitchen table, Alex following loyally behind. As Alex munched away on her dried dog food, Edward began chatting to his new best friend as if she could respond. "I mean it's not like I can ask Mustang to walk you, he's always out til late and seems exhausted most of the time...but...you need to get out" Ed thought for a few more minutes before sadly concluding "I guess...if it's for you, I could maybe bring you out…" The thought sounded terrifying to Edward. He hadn't been out in months.
But for Alex.
She had only been here a few days and already Edward had felt more connected to the real world than in so long. His connection to her had been instant, but the more he discovered about her, the more close he felt to his canine companion. Maybe, with her guiding him, Edward could
make it around the block, just once. He knew Roy has told him that no matter where he went, if he told Alex to "bring me home" then she would guide them both back to their house.
But when would he have time to do this? With all hell about to break loose later, and then him being in pain for at least a week after the ordeal, when would he have time to try?
Ed sat there in silence, trying to figure out the best way around this predicament.
Maybe today was his only real chance to see if he was a good enough owner for this dog.
Ed snapped out of his deep thoughts to the sound of scratching coming from the back door. Alex was trying to get outside after eating to do her business. She managed to unhook the latch and push open the back door herself and then pottered out to sniff around. After a few minutes Edward heard her come back in. Mustang had tied a rope to the door handle that she was able to pull closed again. She came plodding back over to Edward happily and sat by his chair.
Edward smiled. He would go get clean and ready for tonight, and then bring Alex out when it got a little later. If he could accomplish this, then maybe facing Winry wouldn't be so bad.
After showering and shaving, Ed spent awhile trying fix his hair neatly into a plait in the bathroom. After three attempts and it always feeling wrong, he frustratingly pulled it all out and just popped it into a curly ponytail. It had been way too long since he had tried to look in any way presentable. He sat down on the tiled floor, slightly exhausted and scratched the itchy cuts he had made on his neck from shaving. He never was able to get a clean shave without Roy's help. He wore one of his white shirts and black trousers that he requested Roy lay out for him on his bed. Assuming the Colonel did what he was told, Edward thought maybe he might not look half bad. Hopefully.
He got up slowly, his automail creaking in protest. Soon it was going to freeze up he just knew it. I guess it was good timing.
As he made his way downstairs, he heard people walking by outside, children playing and cars going past. With only a few more hours until Mustang was back with his Childhood friend, this seemed like the best time to attempt a walk. Was this just wishful thinking that it would be easy?
Edward shook his head and turned to his four legged friend.
He gripped her harness and made his way to the front door. The wooden slats on the ground creaked ominously, growling at him as he stepped towards the door. Edward's heart began to pound harder. He bit his bottom lip and reached for the door handle.
Opening the door with a small turn of the lock, it creaked open slowly. Ed could feel the breeze slide in through the crack of the open door and rush through his hair. It felt like ice cutting against his face. It sent literal chills down his spine. He opened the door a little wider.
He could now feel the sun heating gently on his face. The sounds of the people outside also became louder.
Suddenly, something that sounded like a truck drove past, causing another car to blow it's horn in anger. And now, this was too much. Edward turned around and slammed the door behind him. Shutting off the world and all it's noisey glory. Ed slid down the back of the door and hit the floor hard on his coccyx, breathing heavily, sweat beads forming on his forehead. Bringing his knees up to his face, he hid from the concerned eyes of his guide dog.
Alex attempted to stick her muzzle in between Ed's face and knees but to no avail. Instead she sighed and lay down beside him. Ed couldn't help but feel like a complete failure.
"I'm sorry Al…" he stated in a muffled tone. Alex wagged her tail in response.
After everything that had happened in the last while, maybe it just wasn't the best time to push himself.
"Maybe I'll just take a nap instead…"
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Ed woke with a start. There was footsteps downstairs and small quiet chatter. He could hear the deep tones of a certain Colonel's voice and then a light twitter in response. It was soft and kind sounding, but also immensely warm and filled with childhood nostalgia. Yes, it was her. After so long, she was only a small distance away from the quivering mess that Edward had become.
As he lay on his bed, he couldn't help the shaking in his one good leg. His breathing became ragged and beads of sweat formed on his crinkled brow. His crisp white shirt now a little mottled from falling asleep in it.
Alex raised her head and tilted it, listening to the mumblings below the floorboards of Ed's bedroom. They both listened until eventually Ed could decipher the words 'bed' and 'tomorrow'.
He sighed with relief. He knew it was late and that Mustang would usher Winry to her guest room. He lay back down and decided it was best to just leave meeting his childhood friend til the morning.
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A couple hours had gone by and Ed was awoken by the milkman once again. With the sound of birds and dawn rising, he decided he would rise up with it, taking a precious moment to fix his hair and brush his teeth.
Turning to leave his room, he felt his furry companion by his leg, stop and raise her head.
Suddenly, there was a gentle knocking at the bedroom door. Too gentle to be Mustang's graceless thump. 'Oh no…' He wasn't ready for this, not yet, not the time, just a couple more hours of peace, please.
A small voice sounded through the muffled wood.
"...Edward…?"
'Oh no'
"...Can I come in? I can hear you are up…"
Edwards thoughts raced. 'No, go away...please?' his mind kept repeating.
He backed up until he reached the side of the bed. Doing the only thing he could do, he slid down onto the floor and curled his knees up, placing his head between them and scrunching into as small an object as possible.
And then he heard the door creak open, a small footstep taking its first fall into what could only be described as a Den of Regret.
