Hermione rushed through down the school stairs; she had told Luna to inform Harry to meet him in the courtyard. She had to let him know how she felt; if not it would eat away at her forever. She was all too aware lies hurt people, causing fallout's, breakups, twisted reality and could often cause damage. Tearing friendships, families and relationships apart due to deceit and manipulation. But sometimes the truth was kinder even if it was cruel, sometimes it was for the better of many rather than the one. She couldn't continue to be miserable and pretend her feelings didn't exist at the expense of her own misery and coddling someone else. She didn't wish to spend the remainder of her days wondering what could have been and what would be, she wanted to live in the moment and be true to herself. She wanted to be happy with the person who was the best choice for her. She knew that Ron would be hurt by this, she knew Ron would be angry, betrayal and all form of feelings directed at her, she didn't deny the hurt she was causing. She knew he suffered from feelings of inadequacy and felt overshadowed by the skills of his friends in terms of magic. Constantly comparing himself to others and seeing himself as a Weasley, lesser than others in terms of magic. The class clown, a loser and an outsider, Ron was someone she immensely cared about, but she couldn't deny her feelings any longer. She would always care for Ron, always defend and protect him, rushing to his side when he needed help. Calling him out on his oblivious nature and foolish choices, Ron was her first boyfriend, her first crush and her first relationship. She had experienced love for the first time, jealousy and realising importance of others. A feeling she would never regret and acted as a life lesson to her that she would carry through the rest of her life.
Ron got on her nerves, he could be short tempered and he could be immature, but he had his moments. Times when he comforted her during her heartaches, troubles and stresses. The shoulder to cry on, always trying to make her smile and being an otherwise goofball with a heart of gold. However, she couldn't deny his negative and often toxic traits that followed with this, she couldn't deny the insecurity, patronizing attitude and frustration she felt around Ron. How she always felt she couldn't be herself around Ron, remembering how he teased her for her intelligence and bookish nature when they were younger. How he still continued to belittle her for being a know it all as they grew older. How she had to be less of herself for him to feel comfortable and how this made her feel like she had to wear a mask around him in order to please him. Dancing on shards of glass worried of the next reason they would be looking for an argument that would cause their relationship to become further fragile. But with Harry, it was different, what she felt for him went beyond mere crushes and romantic love, she need merely look into those green orbs and know she would forever be safe. They shared a communication that went beyond words, a psychic conversation that only they could understand, both of them were mature for their age, were social outcasts and many people already believed them to be lovers. She never denied this fact and neither did Harry, allowing people to assume whatever they wished about them, gossip would always be in Hogwarts. But within good reason, there would always be no smoke without a fire, and even as a young girl she had been instantly drawn to Harry. Finding herself intimately connected to him, trying to prove herself and yet never caring for the fame that followed Harry as being a survivor of Voldemort. She loved him within reason, she loved him for who he was, never caring what others thought of him. She had loved Harry since before she could remember; yes she loved Ron but not like she loved Harry. He made her feel safe; they would never fight and they understood each other so well. A life without him would just be...empty.
Many times she had faced situations in which Harry's life had been threatened, people mocking him and making fun of him, Draco constantly had a bone to pick with Harry and near obsession with him. Loving to torment Harry and demean him for his mishaps and troubles, Harry putting him in his place. People hurting his loved ones, saying cruel words they knew would hurt Harry and get a reaction, no matter how painful those words would be. Hearing stories of his godfather, hearing stories of his parents, mocking and belittling Harry in every way they knew how. Even the Ministry of magic without their knowledge of Harry personally, loved to insult him. All of his claims and stories to to be the tales of a fool. The rage, fear and sadness she had felt the thought of Harry coming to harm kept her awake at night, waking in a cold sweat and nearly crying into her pillow, worrying of what could occur behind the scenes. Always a knew plot and scheme as an attempt against his life. Visiting every day he was in the medical wing to assure he was taken care of and kept safe. Knowing Harry came from an abusive and neglectful homelife, what he would return to when it was all over, the judgemental cruelty of his aunt and uncle. His identity and magical heritage kept secret from him his whole life, lied to about who his parents were, his birthright. The loneliness and sadness he had been forced to endure, yet found comfort in the magical world in which he belonged. Harry looked at her as if she was his whole world, holding her worth and value on a pedestal for the whole world to admire from afar. He knew she saw his value and more, seeing the amazing Wizard he was and would be, all he could accomplish and the positive changes he would make in the world. She bumped into a few students by accident but didn't have time to apologize. All she could think of right now was him. His dark tousled hair, his piercing blue eyes, and his cute dorky glasses. She loved him so much it hurt. Eventually she reached the bottom of the stairs, she span on her toes as she turned in the direction of the courtyard. Part of her hoped he was there waiting for her; the other wanted him to arrive after her. She knew she may get caught, bombarded with questions, but she couldn't care less, pushing them to the back of her mind, all she could think of was seeing him again.
So much was rushing through her mind she couldn't think straight; but then that was love for you. Love made you act crazy but it made you the happiest you had ever been in your entire life. "I love him; I love him so much" she thought to herself. She knew when love hit you it came out of nowhere and truly she couldn't describe her feelings for Harry as anything else, never expecting to feel this way for anyone. That someone could mean so much to her. This was the love she had often dreamed of, read about and wished she could feel for herself, the fluttering of butterflies in her stomach, feeling light as a feather itself, childish giddiness filling her body. The smile she couldn't stop forming on her lips, the one she always tried to hide that somehow always made itself known, unable to hide her feelings from him. The awkward bashfulness and genuine affection she felt for Harry, how he left her speechless and yet made her feel so whole. Being able to look into his eyes and feel safe, touching him felt so right, his arms felt like home, knowing she could always go to him as a sanctuary. Hermione panted heavily as she reached her destination; her chest hurt and her mouth tasted like metal. Her breath hurt a little as she caught her breath from running so much. She just hoped she didn't look a mess right now or it would be humiliating. She hoped he was here, she prayed he was here, that she hadn't come all this way for nothing only for it to prove to be futile.
"Hermione?" a familiar voice said from behind her. She felt herself smile internally upon hearing it, she felt so much relief, so much joy, this felt like something out of a fairy-tale. The kind small children read before they went to sleep, the fantasy novels all muggle born read unaware that magic was indeed real. Her very own happy ending finally coming to light at last. She knew he was there without having to look, she sensed his presence, knew his very aura, she could find Harry like a shadow no matter how hard he tried to hide, like a bee to the flower. They knew each others hiding spots, secret places and thinking spots, places they would want to be alone that nobody else would consider, able to read one another like a book, as ironic as that felt. They knew each other better than anyone, as if they were synced somehow, their souls connected in a different way. She got up slowly and turned to look behind her; her heart raced in her chest like a hammer on steroids. She felt herself melt like warm chocolate upon looking at him. She felt naked emotionally, translucent as glass, as if he could see into her soul and more. Harry was stood behind her; he was wearing a dark blue sweater and his house scarf. Below was a pair of scruffy blue jeans and trainers. His hands clenches and un-clenched beside him, debating on what to say. The conflict of his feelings pouring out of him without anyone knowing, his entire aura screaming with desperation and hope, his eyes speaking thousands of words that his lips couldn't muster. He looked a mess, he looked confused, however to her he looked absolutely amazing.
"Harry" she said gently her breath still hinting exhaustion, forgetting that she had just run the entire way here like a madwoman. But that was the effect he had on her; he literally took her breath away. She could be herself around him, philosophical, awkward and frustrated, the mask she wore to appear in control faltering. She knew they had much to discuss, so many words, so little time, she could freeze time if she wanted to, lock them away here privately in their own little world. But they made their own magic, they felt it together, belonging and comfort, something that they shared together. But they couldn't deny how they felt any longer, their friendship forever changed, something else blossoming within. Leaving behind careless childish dreams in which love felt strange and disgusting, but instead amusing, intriguing and alluring. Knowing what they felt was real, what they wanted was real.
He hesitated briefly then clenched his fists tightly. He needed to say this; he needed to say how he felt about her. If anyone else took her it would tear him apart inside. He cared about Hermione more than he ever had anyone in his life, she had saved him from so much and he couldn't thank her enough. She saw in him what he had never been able to, able to see that he could achieve great things. Never judging him for his stumbles and yet acting as a stern mentor when need be. He knew Ron may never forgive him, they were overstepping bounds that couldn't be undone, but he couldn't watch Hermione have her heart broken repetitively by his best friend who was too foolish to appreciate her. A bright, kind and wonderful girl who would tear hell apart for him and more, willing to risk being expelled or endangered all to protect him. Educated, organised, resilient and independent, a bookworm, a bright witch, able to hold her own in a duel, dancing to the beat of her own drum.
"Listen Hermione; as mad as this might sound I can't just be friends anymore. Every time I look at you my heart stops. In fact lately you're all I can think about; and when Ron tries to flirt with you I get angry..." he started his voice sharp. He'd known Ron had been crushing on Hermione since their first year, everyone around them had seen that. Everyone teased Ron for his interest in Hermione much to his embarrassment. But when Ron tried to act on those feelings, it brought out a rage in Harry he couldn't explain. He knew he sounded crazy, that he was often infamous for acting recklessly and being a fool, but this felt so right. Looking into her eyes made him feel things he never thought possible, as if he belonged there, somewhere he wanted to stay forever. He wanted her all to himself, to just hide away somewhere and grow old together. Their own happily ever after, somewhere they could grow together, be themselves together and just be happy. Watching the sun rise, watching it set and never knowing danger or heartache.
Hermione's eye widened and she clenched her fists; she couldn't believe this was happening. In all her dreams she had wanted this; all her life she had hoped for this. But now it wasn't a dream anymore! She didn't have to watch him flirt with or have dates with other girls and feel anger, she didn't have to hear of every girl who wasn't her. She didn't have to imagine being with harry, kissing him, holding him, belonging with him, because it was now her reality, forever and always. She couldn't let this opportunity slip, she couldn't let this moment end, she needed to say something, do something. Be honest for once and not feel guilty about her feelings. She moved towards his slowly her eyes stinging with tears of joy; she had longed to hear these words for what seemed like forever. Now her wish had been granted and she couldn't describe how happy she was. Hermione took his hand gently in her own and rubbed her fingers against his. His hands were cold meaning he had run around the outside to get here. She couldn't help but let a small giggle escape her lips at just how much of a Harry antic it was, something short minded and forgetful in the most adorable way. He'd abandoned rational thinking such as cold weather, insulation and warmth, his first instinct being to find her above all else. His goal to reach her and say what needed to be said, he poured his heart out to her despite the fear she may not return his sentiments. Placing everything in the open and the panic of what may occur was terrifying, the game of love that nobody could predict. God he was so reckless; but she kind of loved that about him.
Harry jolted at the sudden contact but didn't pull away; her hands were warm and softer than silk. They were always so comforting; so gentle. With one touch she was able to chase away of his fears or doubts. Harry had never known such comfort, his aunt nor uncle had shown such tenderness, the hugs that Hermione always gave him were so full of unbridled love. The feeling of safety she brought out in him, full of passion and tenderness. The endless feeling of "I'm here and I always will be". "You're not alone Harry..." she said gently her voice cracking. She might have come across as sad to him but in fact she was the exact opposite. She was just so happy right now she couldn't keep it together. She never wanted him to feel like he couldn't tell her anything, she wanted him to know he would always be safe with her. His eyes widened at that; did she think he was upset? Or could it be she had feelings for someone else? He had gotten the feeling she liked Ron for a while; however the thought she might reject him made him sick to his stomach. He hoped he hadn't messed up his only chance to convey to her how he felt, that he hadn't hurt her feelings or given the wrong impression. Somehow misunderstandings always followed him no matter how much he didn't want them to.
She took a deep breath but she sounded shaky and upset "For a long time I told myself that we were just friends. I believed that was all we would be together; simply comrades standing beside one another..." she started slowly. That their carefree days of platonic affection would always remain, the uncomplicated ideals of romance would never bother them. They would live their lives teasing others for their mishaps and never know such a problem. His eyes became gentle yet solemn; he had felt that way at first too; simply seeing her as his best friend and nothing more. But over time those feelings had changed; as they developed into adolescents and he started to see her in a new way. She was radiant, alluring, confident and beautiful. He squeezed her hand back gently causing her to look up at him; god she was so stunning it physically hurt. But what also made her beautiful was her mind; she was truly the brightest witch of her age. With that Hermione threw herself at him; she almost knocked him over with her embrace. He steadied himself and recollected his balance temporarily then stood still. Slowly he snaked his arms around her back gently and kept them there. Keeping him steady, balanced and centered, reminding him of the fact he was safe, this was real and it was happening. It wasn't a dream, this wasn't an illusion, Hermione was really saying this to him. Her buried his nose in her brown curls gently; she smelled like apple spices her favourite shampoo. She was so warm and so comforting; he just felt so right being close to her like this. Eventually she slowly pulled away her arms still around his neck gently; she gazed into his blue eyes with her own stunning hazel ones. She allowed one of her hands to remove itself from his neck and gently stroke his cheek. A subtle gesture of affectionate comfort that meant so much "Harry...I...I really do..." she stammered quietly. God this was harder than she thought; why were 3 words so hard to say?
Harry smiled fondly; for all the brains she had Hermione still got nervous when flirting. However it was one of her cutest attributes along with her temper. Stumbling over awkwardness and finding herself tongue tied, unable to muster the courage to convey her deepest sentiments. Slowly he leaned towards her pulling her close and locked lips with her. She tasted so sweet and her lips were so soft. He had always heard kisses were magical; but this was just amazing. He could feel time itself stop as he kissed her. Hermione froze and her mind went blank; she couldn't believe that this wasn't a dream. Her best friend and the guy she loved was kissing her?! This was the most amazing moment in her entire life. Nothing could compare to this moment, not even all the charms, spells and wonderful things she had seen during her time at Hogwarts. Slowly she closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss tightening the lock around his neck. She felt her eyes sting with tears and one spilled over. She was the happiest she had ever been in her life. Of all the people she held dear Harry was her most treasured next to her parents. A life without him was meaningless and empty. Unlike most people who envied her and saw her as stuck up; he complimented her and encouraged her. She needed that in her life; she needed him in her life. While Ron was dear to her she was sick of the jealousy and the arguments. Harry always provided relief and comfort and she was always at her happiest around him and always would be. Slowly they pulled away from each other blush warming their cheeks. They were somewhat in awe of what had happened yet so very happy. Their hearts were racing and their bodies somewhat trembling but they didn't care. The excitement was palpable, the happiness was never-ending and she wanted more, to revel in this bliss. "I love you Hermione; you and all your nerdy aspects" he said fondly his tone hinting playfulness.
Hermione mocked a pout but laughed tearfully; unlike Ron when he teased her he knew how to do it the right way. When Ron teased her it ended up making her feel offended and hurt. Harry knew how to tease with mischief, knowing just how to poke enough to get a reaction out of amusement but never spite. Knowing how hurt Hermione was when she was mocked. The cruel words of others ingrained deeply into her heart. "And I love you Harry; you and your scar" she sniffed tearfully her tone filled with happiness. They stood there in each other's embrace in the courtyard; they were finally happy. Finally able to convey their love; and it felt wonderful.
Harry and Hermione lingered outside Hagrid's cottage timidly, their hands intertwined as they mustered courage from one another. This was a big step in the change of things, but it was what came naturally, all relationships started out this way they just never thought it would happen to them. They could lie and make up stories of what they were doing together, nobody would be any the wiser. They just had to keep up pretends until they finally felt comfortable with telling the truth. This was their secret and they deserved to have something of their own for once. They couldn't tell anyone, none of their classmates, dorm mates, teachers or friends, not a soul, nobody could know of this. Many people could twist the truth into something ugly and make them look like villains. Above all there was one person in this mess that had to remain oblivious for as long as possible, even if it was selfish. The gossip would spread like Dragonfire and it would reach Ron in minutes, he would be the first person in the loop due to their mutual friendships. They could already imagine the look on his face, breaking his fragile ego and heart instantly. Malfoy would mock him for this relentlessly, finding a new way to make Ron's life a misery for his sadistic amusement. So far Luna and Neville were the only two people to understand that they were in love, that they had acted on their attraction and begun an affair, encouraging them to embrace their affections.
Hagrid had been a close friend and mentor to them since first years, he was a gentle giant and a protector to them. He was a well skilled person when it came to beasts of all kinds, teaching them the lessons of the bizarre and unusual. Far wiser than given credit for and harmless despite his appearance. Helping them to not only becoming stronger wizards but also better people, helping them along with every moral dilemma they were faced with. As if he had heard their very thoughts, the door opened and Hagrid loomed over them with a knowing yet curious look "Well lookie here, not often I see you two faces without Ron, where is he anyhow?" Hagrid questioned in amusement, a hint of concern in his tone. He respected their privacy and understood when matters needed to be handled alone, but intervened when he saw fit.
Harry shifted awkwardly, he knew this was problematic and Hagrid had every right to turn them away if he saw fit. But right now he needed him more than ever, his neverending wisdom that they had come to cherish. "Hagrid, can we come in? It's a personal matter but whatever we discuss in this cabin cannot leave these doors, promise us" he begged. Hagrid gazed at the young wizard, sensing the urgency in his tone that always seemed to plague Harry's life. He'd known Harry since he was an infant, he was never one to milk a story or become overly troubled by a mere conflict. This had to be rather serious for him to be behaving this way.
He opened the door widely to allow them both in, sighing heavily with a look of kindness "Well come in, I'll put a pot of tea on".
Hermione cupped the tea between her hands like a warm chalice, the scent of honey filling her senses as she gazed into the liquid reflectively. Remembering growing up when she was troubled, how her mother would make her a warm drink as she cried and soothed her of all worries that filled her heart. A sense of familiarity that meant the world to her, she felt calmer and yet still troubled by all of this. She knew Hagrid trusted them to make the right decisions, he had always known how bright they were, seeing their potential when they were still blind to it. Believing in them even when they were at their worst, broken and hopeless. He always comforted and soothed her when she was troubled, when Malfoy called her a mudblood he comforted her despite the hurt she felt. Acting as a secondary father figure to her and always someone whom she admired, he knew of Ron's feelings for Hermione but also her bond with Harry. "So, what exactly is it you felt the urge to skip lessons to come to see little old me?" Hagrid questioned, sensing the hesitation in Hermione's body language. Holding something back as best she could yet desperate to speak her mind. Hermione's gaze became steely, gripping the cup tighter and shifting in her seat, confirming his concern.
"The thing is Hagrid, me and Hermione…. We…. That is…. I confessed to her…" Harry babbled, someone had to know, someone had to know what had changed. That he had finally made a move on Hermione, that their bond had changed and they had become closer. He knew Hagrid would figure it out and he would rather he know when Ron wasn't here.
A look of surprise washed over Hagrid, his eyebrows raising and his mouth hanging open, he'd sensed the blossoming romance occurring in their group but never foresaw this. Wondering how long this had been happening and how long he'd been unaware, both Hermione and Harry being rather skilled at keeping secrets when they wished. He'd known these three to be as thick as thieves since their first year, always watching out for one another come what may. Ron was often the odd one out felt a sense of jealousy towards his companions for his shortcomings, yet he harboured an undeniable crush on Hermione. As much as he denied it, he was smitten with her and it was often written all over his face. He cared for her dearly, in his own way he did love her and appreciated her, he tried to be a gentleman around Hermione and do what needed to be done to make her happy. Conveying his feelings for her in the only way he knew how, often acting out spitefully when he was jealous. But he'd allowed himself to become swayed by other girls in his year without considering the consequences of those actions and how they would effect Hermione. Driving her into the arms of Harry, which was almost poetic. Yet Harry and Hermione shared an innate connection that others around them could recognise, natural chemistry, trust and appreciation for one another. The perfect couple, resembling harry's late parents, Lilly and James potter. "I see, and young Ron is oblivious to this change of events I take it?" Hagrid asked patiently.
Hermione bowed her head guiltily, she needed to explain otherwise the blame would solely be placed on Harry which wasn't fair. She wasn't blameless in this and had acted on her feelings as well. She needed to be clear on why she had chosen to confess to Harry. "Ronald is, he's a loyal and caring person, underneath his childish demeanour he is a good person. But, I don't want a relationship with a neurotic, childish, petty troublemaker any longer" she sighed. Ron had many redeeming qualities she admired in him, but she was exhausted by the squabbles, the fights and the endless jealousy that caused self-doubt in their relationship. She needed something healthier, mature and less toxic, something that wouldn't cause such sadness in her life.
Hagrid nodded, love was often unpredictable and strange. Nobody ever foresaw Lilly falling in love with James given his behaviour during his youth, but love changed people. Sometimes people became better due to the influence of the person they had feelings for. "Before your mother and father fell in love, they faced their own troubles same as young Ron and Hermione. But not all love stories end up that way, some are mere myths" he sighed. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, you gotta work this out for yourself I'm afraid. But I will promise to keep it a secret mind" he smiled. It wasn't his place and he wouldn't take sides in something that wasn't to do with him.
"Thank you Hagrid" Harry smiled, he knew Hagrid would understand, show sympathy and help them in their troubles. He had known of Harry's parents, what kind of people they were and how they met. Their stories often acting as influence to the boy Harry would later become.
"Just be careful now, not everyone will be as kind and you will face troubles along the way" he sighed, love stories never came without their troubles and mishaps. They may lose friends and even their current ones may be have strange feelings on the matter.
Harry and Hermione wandered through the pumpkin patch of Hagrids cottage in reflective silence, the aura had changed, life had changed, things weren't the same. They weren't the same, a new chapter of a story had been written and they didn't know how to handle it. Acting naturally while acknowledging this fact. Growing up was indeed strange and came with many moral dilemma's along the way. They had told their oldest and most precious mentor of what had occurred between them, he had aided them through every up and down they had faced since being newbies at Hogwarts. Every danger, every nightmare, injury, spell gone wrong and every argument, every fight and every hiccup. Standing by their side through it all and helping them through the other side. They had explained their newfound relationship and brewing feelings for one another, Hagrid would never tattle their secrets to another living being if he could help it, keeping it under lock and key, guarding it protectively. No doubt Dumbledore and McGonagall would figure out their secret, the two elder sorcerers were far more experienced and perceptive than they. Though they doubted they would cruelly out then out of spite. But the likes of Draco would do just that, loving to show them up, a spoiled, rotten and often malicious person who enjoyed to bring them sadness. Ruling over with his beliefs of being better than others due to his upbringing from his parents. His rivalry with Harry and hatred for them, his love of tormenting Ron, he would be the first to out them. Just to see the look of misery and hurt on Ron's face as his heart shattered into pieces.
"We need to tell Sirius, I know it seems soon but he's my family Hermione. I want him to know about us, he'll be happy" Harry mumbled, breaking the echoing silence between them. He was the closest person he could tell, who he had shared nearly every issue he had ever experienced. Acting as a secret communication through every trial in his life so far. He had legally adopted Harry after the events of Azkaban, becoming Harry's legal guardian and moving out of the Dursley home to Sirius. Finally knowing the loving home he had craved ever since he was a child, feeling at peace and finally appreciated. Though due to the wrongful blame placed upon Sirius of the death of his parents, he was still forced into hiding, very few knew of their familial relationship.
Hermione reached out to squeeze his hand supportively, she knew of all the people to know Sirius was deserving. She could see and sense the love shared between the two. Knowing Sirius would give his life and endlessly protect Harry's no matter what came their way. He would defend the son of his best friends until the end of his life. She had been by his side when he learned of Sirius's friendship with his parents, his father. How he was legally made his godfather upon Harry's birth, but due to Pettigrew, he was imprisoned in Azkaban and lied to of his crimes. But after the truth was revealed, Harry was able to reunite with his godfather and live in secrecy. She too had found comfort in the older wizard, learning much from him and feeling a sense of comfort in knowing he too was as nerdy as she. She could happily call him family in the future, knowing he would accept them. "It's a bit scary isn't it, all these changes, us. But... It's a bit exciting" she smiled
Harry gazed at his best friend fondly, in that moment she couldn't have appeared more beautiful, more perfect. A strange thought passing through his mind, one he never thought he would hear himself say, until now relationships and the future were something he never considered "Hermione Potter or Harry Granger?" he chuckled.
Hermione chuckled in amusement, she'd never considered whose name she would take in the future but indeed this did sound intriguing. Of all the names she could take, his would be an honour "Potter, definately potter" she hummed. Imagining herself as the wife of the boy who lived, now that would become a story many would tell. His piercing green eyes gazed at her, the brightest witch was now his lover, resembling a star within his grasp. Hermione turned her head towards his, her brown eyes gentle and caring "We should head back, we don't want to miss supper" she hummed. All this excitement had worked up her appetite.
