Hey guys, I know that I haven't been updating very regularly and I promise that I am working on that and trying to get better but I have a lot of stuff going on. Like multiple school events plus homework every night and this thing I try to get called sleep. So yeah tough schedule but we can make it work. Any way the response as far as reviews go from you guys is amazing. Like make me cry amazing, by the way special shout out to ArabellaRoseD and AngelGirl for reviewing and I would thank you through PMs like I do for most people but I can so yeah. I hate to do this because I always feel like I'm begging or being rude but can we push for seventy-five reviews. Like it would make my world. And I still want input on their future. So yeah, thank you all for all you help and I love you!

Kisses,

Em

Lucas's POV

And so we just sat there. Not saying anything. Just sitting.

Then Riley said something. So quiet but it came across so loud.

"How do you love something born of hate?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. How do you answer that?

What do you say to your best friend who you've been in love with for nearly four years who was raped and assaulted and is pregnant.

What. Do. You. Say?

Instead of saying anything I just pulled her closer to me and rocked her. That's all I could do. Nothing could calm her racing mind or stop her stomach from doubling in size. Well there is something…

But I know Riley. Riley wouldn't do that.

Would she?

Never mind. It's not my place to make the decisions all I know is that I need to be there for Riley. And if a baby comes I will be there for that baby like it's own father never will be.

That's a promise I can make.

I suddenly feel myself being pulled out of my deep subconscious near the train wreck I like to call "Where I thought my future was going but then it said-HA-and now it isn't." When Riley jerked away from me. I see her lean over and put her head in her hands. Her shoulders rolled inwards further then appeared humanly possible and I saw her wince as her stitches on her back were pulled.

That's another thing. Her back was where the largest extent of the damage was concentrated has definitely thrown her. She can barely hunch her shoulders let alone bend over to pick up a book or anything.

It's amazingly awful to think about the fact that in the course of less then two months Riley Matthews went from being the top cheerleader and president of all the clubs, a shoe-in for any ivy league of her choice, and my future prom date to this.

I don't mean this in an "Ew look- it's the girl that got raped way." I mean it in a "My heart shatters with every tear drop that comes from her eyes because I can't help her." Kind of way.

Man is my mind pretty screwed up right now.

Maya's POV

I sit in one of the window nooks in Topanga's with Riley's favorite book in my hands. Emma by Jane Austen. She would say that she just liked the "Romantic Era writing" from Jane Austen but I think that its because she liked to think that she was Emma. This hard-ass stubborn girl that fought her way through those times and defied the rules, she was pretty liberal for a girl.

Riley has always loved that name Emma. She told me one day she was going to have a pretty little princess that would be so spoiled and she would be named Emma. She would live in a little townhouse right above Central Park, and she would take after her mom and be a lawyer while her husband (She'll never admit that she imagines that it would be Lucas) would work right down the street (She also never admits that right down the street is an animal shelter and a Walgreens. I hope for her sake that she means the animal shelter.).

Riley's going to be such a good mom. I'm worried that because of this whole "thing" Riley's never going to have sex again. I was worried so I looked it up- by the way never WebMD it, I somehow convinced myself that I had Ebola- and it said that victims of traumatic events like rape can get such severe PTSD that they never have sex again. Like ever. It also said that they were subject to random panic attacks and hallucinations. I had already seen both of those.

Her hallucinations only come when she's sleeping. I've stayed over practically every night since it happened so that Riley doesn't wake her parents up after every dream and I see the exact same thing. She'll randomly sit up in the middle of the night and turn her head with this look of pure terror and start saying no and yelling until I can hold her arms down and wake her up. It's that look of pure terror that keeps me up at night. Just the face of someone that knows that they are being pulled to their death that graces Riley's face too frequently. What really scares me though is knowing that Riley actually felt that, and that her face had been contorted in the exact same fear just one or two months ago. Riley who had never even killed a bug had been subjected to those moments of sheer terror. We've all felt them, those icy daggers that make their way up your spine and that feeling in your chest where you can just hear you heart and nothing else for a minute. I horrifies me to know that Riley was there in that moment by herself with nobody else there. And further that instead of having that fear diminish after a quick glance over her shoulder it amplified as she was pulled away until it burst.

Pop goes the balloon.

It didn't get any better when we had to go to the police station. When she learned about the investigation into Zay and that she wasn't done with this. She had barely said anything during the interview until the told her that the district attorney's office needed her to take a polygraph. Then she flipped. She just kept saying, "This couldn't have happened to me. What do I do? What can I do?" Over and over again. Her breathing so ragged her breaths were spaced almost minutes in between. It was like something just cracked. We had to take her to the hospital. Sedate her. They literally drugged her into silence. Funny. Let's just make this all go away with a little bit of sedative. They seemed to think that those drops of sedative worked like an eraser on memories. What they didn't know was that those memories are inked there in sharpie. The only thing an eraser can do is smear.