The Night Before
A/N: Okay, so I lied. I said the next one-shot would be what happened between the couch and the bed with Richonne, but I forgot about this story. I think this conversation between Rick and Michonne would have to happen before they would become a couple. Honestly, it probably would have happened sooner than this, but as I said, I forgot I wanted to write it.
Also, please, please forgive me for not thanking everyone for all the wonderful reviews! I am so sorry. I'm a little old school with fanfiction. As I've said before, I cut my teeth on Harry Potter stories and abandoned writing fanfiction years ago, focusing on my original work. Back then, I did EVERYTHING on a computer with the full website. So I read and responded to reviews on the website. Now I read everything on my phone, usually on the go. Please know, even if I don't respond, I read and appreciate every review and every favorite. Thank you all SO very much!
Summary: This takes place the night before Richonne goes cannon. Rick and Michonne have a conversation about Ron. (I know right…WTF would they talk about him? Lol.)
…
Michonne flops down on the sofa, feet aching from her shift at one of the watch-points. She pulls off her boots and tosses them to the floor, props her feet up on the coffee table next to the kerosene lamp. It's late. She took an extra shift for Spencer. Something is going on with him. She gathers it has to do with the death of Deanna, but he doesn't want to talk about it. Either way, she could see that he wasn't in the right frame of mind to be vigilant on post tonight, so she offered to take his shift. He didn't argue.
She has things on her mind too. For the past few days, actually. It's getting better. She's coming to closure, acceptance, but there are still residuals. She hears Rick's boots clop up the porch steps. His stride is distinctive. The front door opens, closes and Rick walks in.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey."
He goes straight for the kitchen, rummages in the fridge, cabinets and drawers then plops down on the sofa beside her. He has a jar of peanut butter, a sleeve of crackers, a bag of almonds, a box of raisins, a bowl of left over rice with peas, and a cup of water.
Michonne quirks a brow. "Hungry?"
"Starved. I know I should ration, especially since we didn't find anythang today, but I'm so damn hungry."
"It's okay." She smiles at him. "Where's Daryl?"
"At Aaron's. Apparently, it's spaghetti night."
She nods. "Eat the peanut butter first and the almonds. Drink the water."
Rick looks at her with a spoon full of rice and peas to his mouth. "Why?"
"Protein. It'll fill you up faster and longer. And you're probably dehydrated." She eyes his sweat-stained shirt.
"Yeah, okay." He sits down the bowl and spoon, replaces them with the jar of peanut butter and a cracker.
Michonne closes her eyes, relaxes back into the cushions and listens to Rick eat for several long minutes. When she feels him flop back beside her, settling into the sofa, she opens her eyes. Most of the food is still there. All the water is gone, but he probably needs more. He wasn't as hungry as he thought. Dehydrated, just as she said.
Rick pulls off his boots, props his feet on the coffee table beside Michonne's feet. She sighs. He rubs his stomach and looks at her. "How was your day?"
She shrugs, closes her eyes. "Fine." He watches her, she can feel it.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Nothing to talk about," she says. "Worked two shifts. Tired."
"Not that. Wanna talk about what has you lookin' like this?"
She opens her eyes and looks over at him. "Looking like what?"
He studies her for a moment. "Off. Something's wrong." He leans a bit closer. "Tell me."
They hold eye contact for a long beat. With anyone else this would be awkward, uncomfortable, but she has been staring Rick in the eyes since the day she met him. They don't need words all the time, most of the time. Tonight she needs to tell him what's been going on with her.
"I've been thinking about Ron." She sees it instantly. She has shocked him. It doesn't happened often, but it's clear that's the last thing he expected her to say.
Rick straightens a little on the couch and angles to face her more. "Ron? Why?"
"I…well…" Michonne adjusts on the sofa as well. She sits up, folds her legs under her and faces Rick completely. Her back rests against the armrest. "I killed a kid." She swallows and it sounds loud to her ears.
Rick tilts his head to the side. "It needed to be done."
"I know."
"So what's this about, and why now?"
Michonne lifts a shoulder. "It's been on my mind for a few days actually. I haven't really had time to think about it before now. Immediately after, it was all about Carl. Will he wake up? How will he be when he does wake up? Taking care of him, then cleaning up all the walkers." She shrugs again. "Then one day I just woke up, maybe I had a dream that I can't remember, but I woke with the thought that I killed a kid. I mean, he was Carl's age, or close to it and now he's not here because of me."
Rick draws in a breath. She can almost see what he wants to say. Yes, she had to do it, but it doesn't really make her feel any better.
"That night, did you think of somethang else you could'a done and just decided to go with killin' him?"
"No. There was no time to think. Honestly, it was a reflex because protecting you and Carl and Judith are reflexive to me. It's practically involuntary. I don't decide to do it anymore than you decide to sneeze. There's an agitator and then—"she snaps her fingers—"the reaction. Ron with that gun was a blast of pepper in my face, killing him was the sneeze. It happened just that quickly."
Rick squints at her. "Everythang you're sayin' to me makes sense. I know you see it, so why is it botherin' you? He would'a killed me. You know that."
"I know. I guess…" She looks up at the ceiling, thinking. "It's his age. Has to be. I don't think I'd be giving this a second thought if it wasn't for his age."
Rick nods. "Okay." He shifts on the couch again, facing her fully. "Let's walk it through." He inclines his head as if to say, 'go ahead'.
Michonne frowns. "Walk through what?"
"Play out a different scenario. Let's go though it with you doing somethang less…lethal."
"Like what?"
"You tell me?" He sits patiently, waiting for her.
Michonne takes a minute, thinks about it. "Okay, so say instead of running him through, I cut off his hand." She shrugs. "He lives, makes due with one hand and that's that."
Rick puffs out a breath, props his arm on the back of the sofa and looks at her. He has a slight smirk on his face. For an instant it looks flirty, but she quickly dismisses that.
"You really think that's that? Play it out for real. I got all night."
He's playing with her. She sees what he's trying to do, make her feel better. It's working. She leans all the way back against the arm of the sofa and covers her face. "You are very frustrating sometimes."
"Been called worse…by you. Quit stallin' and work it out."
"Okay…so…I cut off Ron's hand. One hit, hand drops…"
"And? What else could happen?"
She scrubs her hands over her face. "The gun could still go off?"
"Definitely. Carl is still shot."
They look at each other, no smirking now, no lightness.
"Keep going with that. Ron, no hand. Carl still shot." A muscle twitches in Rick's jaw. He has no doubt she did the right thing. She can see it as plain as the stubble on his face. She knows it too, but there is a difference between knowing and feeling it. She's trying to have her head and heart in the same place.
"Okay, we get Carl back to Denise…Ron too." Michonne closes her eyes again. Thinks really hard about what would be the most logical outcome to Ron alive having lost a hand, his mother, father and brother. Carl alive, missing an eye but still has his family…a strong family.
She opens her eyes and stares at Rick. Again that silent meeting of gazes that says everything without saying anything. He's gotten to the point and is simply waiting for her to catch up, she knows this.
She's caught up now, nods. "Ron wasn't the type of kid to let that go."
"No, he wasn't," Rick says, barley moving his lips.
"He would still blame you for the loss of his entire family."
"Yes, he would."
She sighs. "He would come after you again."
Rick jerks his head downward in a quick yes.
"You, me…or more likely, Carl would've had to kill eventually," she says.
"Yeah. Or he would've gotten one of us." Rick leans forward, intense. "You see it now, right? You see what you did had to be done. Then or now. He was his father's son. Maybe Morgan's right. People can change. Maybe Ron would've. We don't always have the luxury to wait for that. Ease your mind, Michonne." He touches her shoulder. "You did the right thang. No one would say different."
She nods. "My head always knew that. My heart knows it now too." She draws in a deep breath, unfolds her legs and stands. "Thank you, Rick. I'm good now."
He relaxes back into the cushions. "Good. Cause if you're not good, this whole house ain't good."
She grins and heads for her bedroom. "Goodnight."
"G'night."
Sleep finds her quickly and soundly. Her mind and heart are both clear.
...
A/N: Forgive me, I think this author's note might be a tad long. I wrote this one-shot mostly based on an interview I saw with Danai. She talked about how protecting Rick and Carl is Michonne's reflex and I simply fell in love with that description. It's so accurate and says so much more about how much she loves the Grimes family than words can ever say. Also, from another interview with the fabulous Danai Gurira she talks about how it's important to show Michonne as a full woman. She was referencing to falling in love and making love to Rick, but I think there is so much more to that as well.
To be a full person, you have to be more than just a badass. I think there are many people who only see Michonne as this sword wielding hard chick—none of you here, of course. She is so much more than that. So with that in mind, I wondered how she would metabolize killing Ron. When I first watched episode 609 I didn't think anything of it. Well, I thought good! Jessie and her annoying ass kids are gone! Let's throw a party! Then I read an interview talking about how heavy the episode was, seeing two kids killed and one shot in the head. I was like, oh sh*t, that did happen. Two kids were killed that night. I had disassociated myself with that fact because they were sooooooo annoying. That's when I started to wonder if that would that be something Michonne would eventually have to process. Some may disagree with me, and I'm fine with that, but I think she absolutely would. We've said it time and time again that Michonne is the heart of the Grimes family and sometimes even the ASZ. She would not simply brush off killing a teen. Because she is a rational woman, she would recognize it was necessary, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't hit her. So I wanted to write it. How would she process this and come through the other side balanced between head and heart. Of course Rick would have to be there. Honestly, I think the conversation would have worked with Rick or Carl. He's just that intuitive and knew Ron better. But I think Rick reads people just as well as Michonne when he is clear and focused, which by this point in season six, he is the clearest he has been in years. So those are my thoughts. Can you tell I LOVE THIS SHOW?!
Thank you all so much for reading! I promise, the love scene is coming next!
