I was pleasantly surprised to get a call from the Madam Secretary herself asking me to come for dinner with Mikael. Normally that would involve a juggling act of Mikael and work, but I happened to be off, which in itself was a cheering thing. I arrived, as she asked, at 8pm, which was late for Mikael and I to eat but I made sure he was fed on time and I let hunger be good dinner guest.

"He's so big!" she exclaimed as we came through the door.

"Six months already." I grinned into his pram as I pulled off my coat and scarf.

"Can I?" she asked, poised to fish him from his sanctuary.

"Of course," I beamed, always eager to socialize him because selfish mothers scared me so much I did all I could to not become one of them. I started talking to him with over-excitement, "Who is that, Mikael? Are you saying hi?"

"Come on, Mikael," she smiled at him, "Lets you and I go see what Henry is doing, hm?" to me she said, "What would you like to drink, I'll bring it through to the livingroom for you."

I asked for some fruit juice and she set off. I admired the house as I walked to the livingroom.

Where Dmitri suddenly stood from the couch.

I stood still. I looked to him, then around the room and back at him again. I brought my hands to my face and hid as my eyes filled up and spilled over in a blink. I listened to his feet moving over the carpet, and was so sure I was hallucinating that when he pulled my hands away and enveloped me in a crushing embrace I jumped with fright.

There was so much I wanted to say but all I managed was to stomp my foot and say 'Fuck'. This made him laugh and part from me so I could look up at him and see that it really was his face. Despite our tear soaked faces he kissed me and I knew I couldn't be making this up.

He straightened his back and held onto me again just repeating, "I love you."

All I could do was say the same.

I spied the McChords and Mikael watching us, looking emotional and happy as they looked at the pair of us. They'd done this. They'd brought him back from the dead. I pulled myself away enough to get my hands to my eyes and wipe away the majority of the water away.

"Are you ready for this?" I asked him.

"What?"

"You have a son." I pointed and his head snapped over. Henry had Mikael now and he came forward. I took him automatically and Dmitri just stood over us both, his arm around my shoulder, his lips against my temple again and again, saying he was sorry and that he loved me and he'd never let anything happen to us.

Later, as the McChords had invited us to stay the night considering the overwhelming nature of our reunion, I caught Dmitri being shown by Henry how to prepare a bottle of formula for Mikael. Then how to hold him and feed him. I think it helped that Mikael was so pleased to have attention and make people smile. When Henry and Dmitri started to talk, I retreated back to the fold-down couch and lay myself down to rest. Really rest. Sure it wasn't going to be easy, Dmitri was scarred for life, I knew, but there he was, just in the next room, and here I was at peace while Mikael was being fed for a change.

Tainted as it was, that was the happiest moment of my life.