Chapter 5 Grief
An hour later, we stood by a car prepared to take Arik, Charles, and Moira to a prearranged and unknown meeting point. I grasped my twin's hand tightly. Eventually, he embraced me tightly and slipped into the dark car without a word. Arik stepped toward me.
"Don't worry. I'll keep him safe." Arrogance filled his voice.
"Right," I snorted. "You've never looked out for anyone but yourself."
"Jenny," he said in all seriousness. "I promise."
I turned and stared hard into his eyes.
"I need you both to come home to me."
He pulled me into his arms. I hesitantly wrapped my own arms around his solid torso, pressing my face to his chest.
"We will," he whispered into my hair.
He pulled away abruptly and hurried into the car beside Charles. My chest felt constricted as the car pulled away, making breathing difficult. My thoughts felt clouded and muddled. My heart flooded with a myriad of emotions, spinning in a thousand different directions. I returned to the compound and slumped to the floor outside the room of youths, trying to sort out my emotions. I had to lower my barriers to pick apart my own feelings. A wave of uncertainty, affection, and fear sent my mind spinning. Sweat beaded my brow. I felt even normal emotions with an unnatural strength, but these threatened to render me unconscious. My hands balled into fists, my entire body tense. I tried to focus on my physical surroundings, rooting my thoughts enough to sort out my emotions and bring them under control.
Just as I was about to reseal my emotions, a wave of self-consciousness and self-loathing assaulted me from the room behind. I wearily stood and headed toward the strangling emotions. Six morose faces turned to stare at me. Their eyes were filled with such an intense loneliness, I didn't even need my gift to determine what bothered them.
Raven's soft voice called across the room, "Sorry, Jenny. Did we bother you?"
"Bother her?" Angel scoffed, voice dripping with attitude. "How could we have bothered her?"
I forced a smile. Her attitude was merely an obnoxious mask for her fragile heart. I sat down in the middle of the couch, between Raven and Hank. A flash of disappointment hit me from Hank, but I chose to ignore it—at least for the time being. Not one of them would look me in the eye.
Raven responded patiently to Angel, "She's an empath, Angel. She could feel our annoyance at being gawked at."
"Is that what happened?"
Still, they avoided my eyes.
"I want all of you to listen to me and listen well. You did not choose to be the way you are. And I can guarantee your lives will not be easy. There will be many days you will have to hide who you are. And those who do learn of mutants will likely fear you."
Their shoulders slumped, and they stared at the floor with glazed eyes.
"But that does not make you anything less. Each one of you is so special, such a unique treasure. Every single one of your mutations is magnificent, whether it be blue skin, gills, a terrible singing voice," They all chuckled as I continued, "Wicked useful feet, gorgeous wings, or the ability to produce insane amounts of energy from your body. As you learn more about your gifts, I hope you come to understand that."
I felt the fog of their negative emotions begin to lift, and their self-confidence begin to grow again. I smiled encouragingly around the room. Gradually, the tension in the room lessened, and they began talking and laughing once more. I retreated to a corner, leaving them to talk on their own. The evening dragged on, fading into night. Though I knew they were getting tired, they remained in the spacious room. They needed one another's company. As for me, I found myself gently dozing, exhausted from the day's emotional turbulence.
/ / / *** \ \ \
The next few days were spent merely getting to know one another, allowing them to form friendships and answering questions. We spent a great deal of time discussing our different abilities and how we had experimented with them in the past. Darwin knew some basic self-defense and enjoyed teaching the others in the afternoon. Any time I wasn't with them, I was pestering CIA agents for news of my brother...or Shaw.
Five days after Charles and Arik left, we all sat in the same lounge, talking and laughing together. Abruptly, an ice cold jolt shot through my heart, shattering my barriers in an instant. My eyes snapped open, and my breath stopped short. Twice more pain lanced my body. I desperately wanted to scream, to release the pent up tension in my chest. But there didn't seem to be any air left in my lungs. Again, a hollow cold swelled within me. I clutched at my head as the pain spread.
Silence, an abrupt release, as the breaking of a dam, washed over me. I greedily gasped for air, panting heavily. I could feel six pairs of eyes watching me curiously. A scream ripped through the night air from outside just before the cold shot through me.
Scrambling to my feet, I groaned, "Something's wrong. Do not leave this room unless I come for you."
I lurched for the door, utilizing all my strength and self-control to stay on my feet. I staggered outside and immediately clapped a hand to my mouth to keep from retching. I now knew the source of my paralyzing pain and cold.
Death. Death hovered over the compound. Broken bodies were strewn across the lawn. My eyes watered as I staggered back inside. Loud shouts echoed from the main entrance followed by the sound of a strange, arrogant voice. Panic filled me as I raced toward the entrance hall. Breathing heavily, I leaned around the corner. A tall man who appeared to be in his fifties stood in the center of the foyer, wearing an oddly shaped helmet. Only calm assurance stemmed from him. Gun shots rang out above me, raining down from the upper levels. I clapped my hands to my ears. Horrified, I watched as the man's body bounced from side to side like rubber, absorbing the shock of the bullets. His body abruptly stopped vibrating. A large red ball of fire, light, energy, I didn't know what, slowly grew between his hands. Terror filled the room, seeping into my every pore. Realization of what was about to occur hit me in an instant, and I turned to run as fast as I could back down the corridor. The terror swelled behind me, followed by piercing shrieks. My body collapsed as the wave of death overwhelmed me, despite my attempts to shield myself. My limbs shook. My eyes clouded over. Only my need to protect Raven and the others kept me slowly crawling down the hall. More fear cascaded over me from just ahead. My heart could take no more. With a scream of my own, I curled into a tight ball, clutching my chest.
Screwing my eyes shut, I fought for breath. Running footsteps brought the panicked emotions closer. Vaguely, I recognized Raven's voice and could do nothing to protest being dragged into the nearest room. Whatever they saw from there caused their horror and fear to swell anew. Responsibility for these young men and women, so filled with fear, lit a fire within me that even the surrounding death could not suppress. My eyes snapped open to find Darwin standing above me.
"Darwin," I called out. "Help me up."
He latched onto my forearm and yanked me to my feet. Praying the world would quickly stop reeling, I stumbled forward. A mutant holding swirling winds in hands climbed through the shatter window threateningly. I thrust the others behind me, placing myself between them and the enemy mutant. A wave of shock leapt through me as a second mutant abruptly appeared in a flash of smoke. A third slipped in through the double doors to my right, the man with the strange helmet.
"Where is the telepath?" he asked.
My eyes narrowed.
"Not here," answered the man with the red skin.
"Too bad," the older man said, almost in disappointment. "Well, at least I can take this silly thing off."
Leaning over slightly, he pulled the strange helmet off of his head. I frowned. What was the connection between Charles' absence and the strange covering?
"Good evening!" he said in a voice of gentleman-like quality, beaming at our small group. "My name is Sebastian Shaw. And I am not here to hurt you."
I focused my attention on him, without letting the other two out of my sight. Everything was so wrong. Shaw should be in Russia, not here. His eyes locked with mine as he took a step forward.
"We can see that by the blood you have spilled," I drawled.
He smiled softly, taking another step closer.
"They would do the same, given the chance."
Before he could move closer, I stepped forward myself and planted the palm of my hand flat against his chest, over his heart.
"You stand too close, sir," I growled.
I was proud and surprised my voice remained even and strong. He smiled derisively and attempted to step through my arm, but I held firm. Using my arm as a channel, I transferred the fear behind me, in full force, into the heart of the man staring so smugly into my eyes. His eyes instantly shot wide open, and he reeled backwards, making an odd choking sound. Satisfied, he would not try that again, I lowered my arm.
"It seems..." he said slowly. "We should have learned more about the third..."
I said nothing but continued to glare at him.
"My friends," he continued smoothly, shifting his attention to the group behind me. "There is a revolution coming. When mankind discovers who we are, what we can do, each of us will face a choice. Be enslaved...or rise up to rule."
My eyes narrowed as I retorted, "We have no use for your poison words, Shaw. You should take your pets and leave."
The teleporter glared and took a step forward threateningly.
"Now, now, Azazel. She's still one of us." Shifting his attention back to the frightened, young mutants, he continued, "Choose freely. But know that if you are not with us, then, by definition, you are against us. So, you can stay and fight for the people who hate and fear you, or you can join me and live like kings...and queens."
I could feel the hope and doubt flame to life behind me. I could feel the fear that would drive their actions, even if they didn't agree with Shaw.
"Don't listen to a word from his mouth!" I snapped. "Think of all the death he has brought here. Innocent men who didn't stand a chance!"
Irritation flared within Shaw.
"Azazel," he ordered.
Before I knew what was happening, smoke billowed around me, a loud crack sounded, and I found myself on the other side of the room, arms twisted behind my back, and a red hand clamped over my mouth. Unadulterated anger that was fully my own raged through my limbs. I pulled and kicked with all my strength as Shaw continued trying to seduce the impressionable men and women. I forced my lips apart and bit down hard into his flesh. The pain radiating from him paled against my red-hot anger. He loosed a scream followed by a loud crack, and we were outside.
My right foot immediately slammed backward into his kneecap, as I twisted out of his grip, a trick Arik had taught me not a week earlier. He howled and bent over, clutching at his knee. Our angers mingled as each boiled. He shot upwards, swinging his fist. With a yelp, I instinctively ducked and backed away. Panic swirled in my chest as a loud crack sounded and he once again disappeared. I back up slowly, head whipping from side to side. A loud crack sounded just behind me. With a cry, I jumped around just as Azazel's fist slammed into the side of my head. Black spots filled my vision as my body collapsed weakly to the ground. After landing a large kick in my side, he disappeared again. I fought the blackness threatening to cover my eyes. The world spun round and round in whichever direction fit its fancy at the moment.
But no matter how hard I tried to focus, my body refused to obey until a young male voice shouted, "Get Down!"
The call came from the room I had been taken from on the other side of the lawn. My charges were in trouble. Scrambling unsteadily to my feet, I began to run in the direction of the voice, falling several times. My eyes fought to focus, only to be filled with horror as Shaw shoved a ball of fire energy into Darwin's mouth. My feet pounded the ground, racing for Shaw. But too late. He disappeared in a flash of smoke. Fear and despair shoved my dizziness to the background as I lunged towards Darwin, whose skin was rippling and changing, his body convulsing.
"Get back!" I shouted at the others. "Back!"
I looked into the young man's gravely. There was nothing I could do; I couldn't save him, but...I could make it less horrific, for him at least. I latched my hands onto either side of his head, forcing his head to face mine. His skin rippled beneath my hands as his body attempted to adapt.
"Listen to me, Darwin. Concentrate on my voice, only my voice."
He knew. His eyes told me that much. So, I kept talking to him, of everything good and beautiful in the world. Meanwhile, I gathered all of the fear, terror, anger, and grief in his heart and pulled them into myself, completely joining my heart with his, an open channel. I allowed nothing but love and peace and calm to fill him, consistently channeling away his negative emotions until his heart was no longer bound to this world.
The cold emptiness of his death froze me in place, even as his body disintegrated before me. I stood rooted, pain lancing my entire body. I was lost in pain, fear, and grief, the darkness that swirled through my chest, shortening my breath. Running footsteps snapped my focus back to my surroundings. Their grief washed over me, nearly breaking my sanity.
Without moving, I shrieked, "Stay back! Don't touch me!"
The conflagration of emotions within me was overflowing, leaking, ready to leap to the nearest vessel. The strength of Death was nauseating, and if I hadn't grown accustomed to managing my own emotions, the effects would have been far worse. As it was, anyone who touched me at the moment would get a full blow of the hell within me, and if it didn't kill them outright, their sanity would dissipate. My body shook. Tears streaked my face. Sweat beaded my brow. I could feel someone move closer, but I did not yet have the strength to turn.
Raven's voice, though, ordered, "No, don't! You heard her, and just look at her!"
"I am!" came Alex's anguished voice. "Look at her hands! We have to help her!"
"No!" a second voice joined Raven's. "We have to trust her."
My hands? I thought.
I glanced down to find my hands grossly burned, my fingers curled in odd positions. But oddly, they didn't hurt. Slowly, determinedly, I turned to face them. The horror in their eyes and in their hearts seared my soul.
"It's alright," I said softly, weakly. "It's over."
"But Darwin's dead," Sean whispered.
"I know...I know...But right now you have to prepare yourselves. Others will be here soon, and most of them won't understand who you are."
I took a shuddering breath as the cold emptiness threatened to strangle me. But I had to make sure they were prepared.
Regaining my voice, I continued shakily, "For now, it is a time to hide your talents and your knowledge of Shaw. Do you understand?"
They nodded, even as my legs began to quiver. I staggered sideways and noticed a cement bench not too far away.
Lunging for it, I called, "Don't let anyone touch me until I get up."
My eyes threatened to roll to the back of my head even as my strained body collapsed. I lay on my back, stretched out on the cold stone. It was amazing the physical toll emotion had on our bodies. Closing my eyes, I delved into the mess of my heart and began trying to recover.
