Hi, guys!

I'm sorry I went missing here. I was on a vacation :3

But now I'm back with lots of ideas for one-shots, two long stories about Divergent and two more about "If I Stay" and "Legend".

This is the longest chapter until now: more than five thousand words! (5387, as a matter of fact). It's based on "Kettering" by The Antlers. I love this song and it would be perfect if you heard it while reading!


Song: "Kettering", by The Antlers ( watch?v=-zuLGLNJAX4 )

I closed the car's door and walked fast to the entrance of the hospital.

The snow fell softly now, but the cold was still making my bones hurt. I entered the glass walls and cleaned my feet on the carpet.

The walk to the elevators was filled with one single, simple actually, question: what floor was it again?

I checked my messages to confirm the floor: 14.

When I spotted Zeke, a smile immediately took my face. He was drooling over a glass wall.

"I thought you wouldn't show up."

I turned around to find Shauna in a hospital gown and a robe, pantufas on her feet. There were bags under her eyes and her shoulders were slouched. Giving birth must be tiring.

"Hello to you, too. I thought I'd give you some time to rest," I hugged her gently, afraid to cause her any pain.

"Thanks for coming. Do you want to meet him?" she asked, walking towards Zeke.

He was standing outside the nursery, looking at his baby boy. I never thought I'd live to see this, but the world does make turns.

The nurses saw Shauna and brought Drake to her.

Drake Pedrad was small, so small I thought he was a doll. He was a perfect copy of Zeke, having only Shauna's smile.

We walked back to Shauna's hospital room, where we could talk more privately and she could seat down.

"Drake's beautiful, guys. Congratulations," I stood next to Zeke, where we both drooled over the newborn baby. "You do know you have two kids, right?" I asked Shauna.

"Yes, I know," she laughed and I joined her, "Would you like to hold him?"

"Sure. I am his godfather, after all, right?"

Shauna explained how to hold him and support his head and neck. A minute later, I had baby Drake sleeping peacefully in my arms.

"Careful, Tobias. Those are not easy to make," Zeke pointed at the baby in my arms.

"Do I hear doubting about you making babies ability?"

"No. That was the easy part. I'd gladly do it again, actually," Shauna hits his arm, hard. "Ouch, woman! That hurts."

"Good, that's exactly the point. And you didn't do any of the hard work, Ezekiel."

"You carried him for nine months, okay. But no one said that having a pregnant wife would be so hard!" Zeke turned to me, "I love her to death, but she was quite a Russian roulette with all those emotional swings and stuff."

I had heard it before from Zeke. I was even present in many of these moments. Zeke and Shuna were family.

"Don't tell me you didn't like my sex addicted phase," she smiled wickedly.

"That was the favorite part, baby," Zeke smirked.

"Okay! I'll leave now. I'll come back tomorrow, keep me informed. I'd like to know about you guys and little Drake here," I handed the baby carefully to his mother and made my way to the door.

"Bye, Tobias!"

"See you, buddy! Keep the phone close!"

I gave the new parents a thumbs up and continued down the hall.

When I got to the elevators, there was a sign: OUT OF ORDER. I sighed and took the emergency stairs. There were a woman and an old lady there, going down as well. The older woman had an oxygen mask and some trouble with walking. The young nurse was helping her.

That was going to take a long time. The other option was watching Zeke and Shauna already try for a second baby. I definitely preferred the stairs.

Twenty minutes later, we reached the twelfth floor. Okay, that was it.

I entered the main lobby of the floor. There had to be another way down, even if it was another set of stairs. My eyes focused on finding stairs through the plaques.

Bathroom, reception, rooms 121 to 149, rooms 150 to 186.

Something – someone - hit my chest. I tried not to put too much pressure when I grabbed her arms before she fell on the ground and pulled her to a standing position.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She was small. Her head didn't reach my shoulders, her thin arms were still locked between my fingers. Her long blond hair fell in waves down her back. Her big eyes shined with tears, some were rolling down her cheeks and into my arms. They were a unique light grey, almost blue, color. She looked intently at me and I almost drowned in the stormy persistence of her orbs.

"Yes." Her voice was lower than I expected. I wanted to hear it again.

She took a step back, freeing herself from my grip and smoothing down her tight black clothes and hair. I thought I saw her hands tremble, but it was too quick to be certain. "Thank you."

"It was my fault, since I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

She sighed and tucked a few strands of blond hair behind her ear. Sure enough, I was certain her hands were shaking this time. She also caught the tears that had escaped her eyes.

"Are you okay?" I inquired again, my eyebrows furrowing.

She nodded. "Yes."

In seconds her eyes welled up in tears and she was shaking her head instead of nodding.

"Would you like to take a drink?"

She sniffled and nodded.

"I'm Tobias, by the way."

"Tris."

Roughly fifteen minutes later, we were sharing stories about our friends and childhoods under the torpor of an undefined numbers of alcohol.


Today was our third date. Fourth, if I count the bar the day we first met.

I reached her house 2 minutes before our scheduled time. I was taking her to the amusement park tonight.

At exactly 7 p.m. I was knocking on her door softly. I heard her footsteps coming closer, an anxious and constant thud. Then she opened the door, smiling brightly.

Her long blond hair was in a tight ponytail on the top of her head, her lips were painted in a dark red and there was a thin black line outlining her eyes. She wore a tight black, long sleeved shirt and ripped dark washed jeans. Her inseparable combat boots were firmly tied in her ankles.

"Hey," I said, smiling.

"Hey," she replied.

I offered her the black roses. Black was her favorite color and I wanted to give her roses, because of their meaning. I had searched and found a way to paint them with colored water. "Those are for you."

Her smile lightened my world. "Thank you."


Since we arrived at our destination, Tris' smile hadn't left her face.

"C'mon, let's try those," she pointed at the water guns.

By only one bottle, I won. Her arm trembled and she missed the last one.

"Are you okay?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Yeah," she nodded and shrugged.

I got the best score, although her score was just behind mine. I chose the dark-blue eyed, entirely black furrow-stuffed bear, offering it to Tris.

"Thank you," she kissed my cheek. Her eyes found something behind me when she pulled away, she smiled. I wish she hadn't pulled away. I wish we had kissed properly. "Let's go there," she pointed at the Ferris wheel.

A shiver ran down my spine and I swallowed hard.

"Sure." My voice was steady, but she sensed my hesitation.

"Are you okay?" I felt the light pressure of her small hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, of course."

I was still looking hesitantly to the big metal structure. Tris' eyes went from me to the Ferris wheel and back.

"You're afraid of heights," she stated. I nodded.

When I looked at her, there wasn't shame or disgust or accusation in her expression. She smiled at me, as if I had just told her my favorite color.

I made a decision. "C'mon, let's go," I grabbed her hand and tugged it gently.

"We don't have to, you know? There are others activit-"

I cut her off by scooping her in my arms, one arm behind her knees and one behind her back.

"You wanted to go, then we're going, my lady," I smiled. She laughed and placed her arms around my neck.

When our cart reached the top, my knuckles were almost white. But Tris had the biggest smile I had ever seen. Her eyes shined with adrenaline.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes."

She laughed. How could she feel so relaxed being up so high?

"Are you even human, Tris?"

That only made her laugh harder.

"Tobias?"

I looked at her. I liked the sound of my name coming from her mouth.

She didn't speak. Her lips only touched mine and she pulled away.

Did she kiss me?

She looked shocked and surprised at herself, looking at me with wide eyes.

My hands went to her waist and behind her neck, pulling her gently toward me. Our lips brushed at first and I pulled away.

She didn't hesitate or complained. Then I kissed her with all I have. I kissed her like my life depended on it. And, in that moment, at the top of the Ferris wheel, it did.


I parked in front of her house, but neither one of us moved.

Tris held her stuffed bear firmly in her arms.

"Tonight was amazing. Thank you, Tobias."

"I should be thanking you," my eyes landed on hers. She blushed and looked down at the bear. "When can I see you again?"

The words escaped my mouth before I could even think. I didn't want to sound desperate, but I had a needing to be beside her. A need to be with her.

I liked her, I knew that. But maybe, just maybe, I was love with her.

Those words have been haunting my mind since our second date, the first one I actually invited her. I knew it was too soon to be in love with her, but I just couldn't help it. I enjoyed every moment of her company. I wanted to make her feel better the second I met her. I wanted to hear her laugh forever since I heard her laugh for the first time. I wanted to stare at those beautiful eyes since the first time I laid my own eyes on them.

"I'll think about it when you ask me out again," she smirked, one eyebrow arched. Beautiful.

I took her hand on mine.

"I have something to tell you," I said, my nose sliding along her jaw, my lips pressing behind her ear. She ran her fingers along the tendons in my hand and looked back at me.

"Tell me," she asked closing her eyes.

"I love you."

Her grey eyes snapped open. "You should know better." She got rid of her seatbelt in a matter of seconds, "That's not right."

Tris got out of the car before I could say a word.

What had I done?

I watched as she walked fast to her front door, her shoulders shaking violently.

Everything was in slow motion. She was running and then she fell. Her name escaped my lips in a scream as I watched her small figure hit the ground.

She didn't move from that moment on.

I could finally move my body again. I took my seatbelt off and got out of the car. My feet ran faster than ever toward her, adrenaline and fear ran through my veins. Her heart was beating fast, but she was unconscious.

I scooped her in my arms and placed her gently on the passenger's seat, strapping the seatbelt back.

I drove to the hospital as fast as I could, carried Tris to the emergency entrance and placed her delicately in the stretcher.

I explained quickly what happened to the nurses and doctors that surrounded Tris before a nurse lead me to a waiting room.

I wasn't able to count how much time went by.

I wasn't able to sleep or eat.

I wasn't able to think about anything except her. Tris.

I cared so much about her, even after she ran when I told her I was in love with her.

What was wrong with me? Didn't I have a little bit of self-love?

I loved her. I wanted to make sure she was okay before she walked away from my life. And that would be because she wanted. Because she didn't want to be with me.

Minutes, hours, days later – I lost track of time – a nurse came to me.

"You brought her here six hours ago. We confirmed who she was and her illness. We got her doctor and she came to see her. I'd call her family, but according to our files, she doesn't have any. Is that correct?" Her voice was calm, soothing.

"That is correct." Her parents died when she was sixteen. Tris never got along with her brother, so I wasn't surprised that they didn't have his number.

But how the hospital had her files? What illness? What is she talking about?

"Is she okay?" That was all I cared.

"She's unconscious at the moment, but steady."

"Can I see her?"

"Come with me."

I followed her to the twelfth floor and into a series of corridors until we reached room 1046. Tris laid in the hospital bed, IVs connected to her. She was pale and looked fragile. Machines were beeping her heart rate and oxygen level.

"Excuse me," I read the nurse's name quickly, "Lynn, what is her illness?"

"You don't know? Oh my God," Lynn sighed.

"We've been seeing each other for a short time, she never told me about a disease," I explained, my eyes never leaving Tris' small figure.

"Maybe you should ask her when she wakes up, sir. I'm sure she didn't tell you for a reason."

And with that, Lynn left the room. I sat in a plastic chair by Tris' bed and carefully held her free hand.

I was drawing soothing circles on her palm when she woke up.

First, her hand squeezed mine. Then, her eyes slowly opened, but closed again. She tried again and kept them open.

"Tobias?" her voice was scratchy.

"Hey," I tried to smile. "Are you okay?"

"Tired. But I'm good."

She tried to sit up, but her weakness got the best, so I helped her. I waited until she felt comfortable to say, "I'm going to call the doctor."

I rose from my seat and walked the door.

I called the doctor, but when he came to talk to Tris, I waited outside her room. Some privacy never killed anyone.

After a few minutes, her doctor came out of the room.

"She wants to see you." I barely let him finish before I entered the room.

Tris was laying on the hospital bed, with tubes in her arms. Tears were streaming down Tris' face as she stared at the floor. She didn't seem to notice them.

I sat in the chair next to her bed, unsure of what to say or what to do. She ran away, literally, after all, when I told her I loved her.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, until her voiced filled the void.

"Thank you." Her eyes met mine. "Thank you for bringing me here, after I…"

"No problem."

Several minutes went by before tears filled her eyes again.

"Are you okay?" I knew she wasn't, otherwise she wouldn't be in the hospital. But I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"It's coming to an end now," her voice cracked in a sob. She pressed her hand to her mouth, containing the subsequent ones.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing."


Days went by and I visited her every day.

Her doctors were afraid to let her go home, saying she might have another "episode". That's what they called her blacking out the night of the Ferris wheel.

"Have you told your brother?" she never wanted to talk about her disease.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want him making it more real. If I don't acknowledge it, maybe it won't come," she sighed. "On the other hand, I am embracing the probability of my imminent death. And it's something hard for me to do, I don't want him suffering, watching me die, for months. The quick news of my death will be easier for him. " she analyzed me from head to toe, "You don't have to be here, you know."

I felt a knife in my chest. Was she really kicking me out?

"I'm not leaving, Tris. You should leave before this hurts you. Before I hurt you," she whispered the last part.

"You only hurt me when you don't tell me things, important things."

"Like what?"

"Like the reason why you're dying."

"I don't want people to suffer, that's all. I don't tell who doesn't deserve to know," she shrugged.

If her brother didn't know, how would I know? Why would she tell me, a complete stranger? Why was I surprised by that? Because you love her.

I should pay attention to her. I should care more about her. But how could I have done that if we met less than two months ago?

"I'm not important enough for you," my conclusion escaped my mouth before I could process it.

She jerked her head up. "That's not true. Tobias, you're too important to suffer. "

"Why don't you tell me? I fell in love with you, Tris. Don't you think it is only fair to tell me?"

She gasped at my statement. Wasn't I obvious before?

"You don't deserve to date a girl who is probably going to die!" Her hands grabbed the sheets and looked down. Droplets of water ran from her eyes, down her cheeks, to the mattress. She took a big breath. "I fell in love with you, too, Tobias," she whispered, "But I thought you wouldn't fall for me. At least, not for a while. I thought I could enjoy your company for a few weeks before it got too much. Before you had feelings for me or before my disease was too much."

"What do you mean?"

And then she told me. Tris had Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It wasn't the beginning of the cancer, but it wasn't the final stage also. Thank God for that.

She was trembling and sobbing. I had the slight idea that she would hate if I pitied her, so it took me some time to think of something to say to make her feel better and even more time to be certain my voice wouldn't fail. So I hugged her, harder than ever before. She held onto me like her life depended on it.

"It's okay. Everything will be just fine," I said, though I knew that maybe it wouldn't.

She didn't tell me because her doctor gave her a death sentence.

"I never meant to hurt you," she sniffed. "I'm sorry," and another wave of tears and sobs came.

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

I just held her close, silently telling her she could rely on me.


Three months. That's how long it had been since the Ferris wheel night. And she hadn't left the hospital, until today.

Tris' doctor saw she was a little depressive. She was strong and was fighting for her life, but she was melancholic. It was one of the symptoms of the disease, I knew, but I wanted to change that.

But melancholy meant Tris wanting to prove she was strong, stronger than she needed to be. She wouldn't tell me, the nurses nor even her doctor if – when - she felt any pain or discomfort.

So I as preparing to take her to the amusement park again, with a slight difference this time. She didn't know about my plans.

I entered her room to find Tris sitting on the hospital bed. Christina, her nurse, was combing her hair.

She and Tris just clicked the moment that nurse entered her room. She was a good friend, though too loud and honest sometimes. It was like she had no filter and she would just say the first thing that came to her head. Tris didn't care about fashion, and although it was as important as air for Christina, they had a bond.

The black long sleeved shirt hugged her frail arms. The pants and combat boots were her signal. I smiled. She was beautiful. Looking sick and pale, but still perfect.

"Miss Prior, I must say: you look stunning," I smiled.

Her cheeks got red and she smiles shyly to me, whispering, "Thank you."

She had bags under her eyes, exhaustion from the cancer and from lack of sleep. Her skin was paler, she had purple marks in some areas. Her grey, black marked with make-up, eyes showed confidence and bravery.

Cancer wasn't easy, but she was doing great. She wouldn't give up.


We came to the amusement park again. Tris' arm was entangled with mine. I stopped walking when we got near the Ferris wheel. "Can you do it again?" I asked Tris.

My heart was racing, but not with the idea of heights. I was nervous about Tris; just looking at her made me uneasy. It wasn't the cancer. It was simply Tris' presence.

"Are you sure?"

"Don't worry about me, Tris. Would you like to do it or not?"

A smile began to take place in her lips. "Yes."

"Then, let's go." We started walking again, slowly, but her legs failed under her and she grimaced. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I just need a minute."

It was one of those moments when she was trying to be stronger than she needed to be.

"I have a better idea."

"What kind of-Tobias, put me down!" I scooped her up, one arm on her back and the other behind her knees. And ran to the entrance of the Ferris wheel.

Tris laughed hard, she even threw her head back as her arms snaked around my neck. The sound of her laugh, which I had spent months without, made me laugh too.

Our light moments were soon finished. One moment Tris and I were talking, laughing and kissing at the top of the Ferris wheel. The starry night had a full moon, which provided the perfect amount of light we needed. The other, we were a few meter away from the Ferris wheel, looking for something to eat, when Tris stumbled and leaned on me. I surrounded her waist with my arm, trying to steady her.

But then her eyes closed and she fell heavily in my arms.


Two days later, I sat by Tris' hospital bed in the ICU. My face was wet and my eyes were blurry from the tears. My hands held her small, cold hand.

The moment she woke up, in the hospital bed once again, I smiled. Relief flooded through my body immediately.

"Tris!" I stood from my chair, still holding her hand on mine.

Tris looked around her until her eyes focused on me. She sighed when her eyes met mine, retrieved her hand and sat up, refusing my help with a wave of her hand when I motioned to do so. I saw it caused her pain to use her arms to rise, but she didn't let me do anything.

I didn't want her to be in pain, but I wouldn't treat her like she needed my assistance 24/7. I knew she would hate me for treating her like a porcelain doll. After all, she was far from it. She was a warrior; the bravest I had ever known.

Her voice was cold, deadly cold.

"Go away."

"What?"

"Leave this room and this hospital, Tobias."

I couldn't let such thing happen. I needed her in my life. I wondered what she was thinking. Was she blaming me for taking her to the amusement park?

"Tris, I'm sorry for taking you there. We don't have to go there again. I thought you liked the first time we went, but I can see I was wrong. Do you really want me to go?" I whispered the last part.

Although she said I should leave, I was still standing by her bed.

"Nothing's you fault, Tobias. I loved the park and Ferris wheel, every moment of it. But you shouldn't be here.

"You have to let me stay. I won't leave you here alone. Tris, I-"

"Leave," she cut me off. "There's a reason why I don't tell people that I'm sick: I'm dying, Tobias. And I know it will hurt you when I die." I shivered at that thought of Tris being dead. "So, do me and yourself a favor, and leave me alone."

"A favor?"

"I'm dying." That sentence came out of her mouth as if she was stating the weather. "I'll hurt you when this happens and this is the last thing I want, Tobias. You don't have to watch that. Go away."

I couldn't find my voice. I just shook my head.

"I prefer to do this alone. Leave me, Tobias." Her voice cracked and tears filled her eyes, but she held them back.

"No." I said firmly.

I took a step closer.

"No, no, no. I won't leave you." I crossed the distance between us in large strides, one for each word. "I can't leave, because I love you."

She didn't respond me with words. She placed her hands around my neck, pulling me toward her and kissing me. There was love and desperation, fear and courage. I kissed her back with the same intensity.

I knew I should leave. She asked me to leave her and I didn't want to see her suffer. But that was exactly the reason I stayed. I didn't want her to suffer, so I would anything I could to make her feel better.

And I did.

I just hoped I was enough for her.


Hours turned to days which turned to weeks which turned into months.

I knew her cancer wasn't easy, but I didn't know her pain was enough to make her scream for help. And that was exactly what she did. She was grunting and screaming that afternoon. I wondered for how long the pain had been there. It had to be pretty bad for her to scream.

It was the worst sound I had ever heard.

The doctors put her under morphine that day.

I entered her room and saw Tris lying in the hospital bed. She had tubes in her arms, some connected to fluids and some connected to machines. The beeping alarms from the heart monitor, the morphine and so many others weren't synchronized. The medication kept Tris asleep during the majority of the day. Her stomach couldn't keep food anymore, so she would mostly eat via IV's.

I held her hand for countless hours, holding her hand and tracing patters, talking to her softly, asking her to fight. Months went by like this.


One day, the machine connected to Tris emitted a strange sound. Lynn, the nurse, kicked me out of the room, pushing me back to the door.

"We'll keep you updated, nut right now I need you to stay here," Christina affirmed before returning to the room.

Once in the corridor, I kept walking backwards until I felt the cold hospital wall on my back. I slid to the floor, burying my face in my hands and touching my knees to my chest.

I prayed she would be okay.


Tris' doctor, Doctor Marlene, woke me up the next morning. I had fallen asleep in the chair last night, as I had often done in the past months.

"Morning."

"Morning," she offered me a mug of coffee. I accepted it. She wouldn't look me in the eyes. Her hands were uneasy by her side, as well as her feet.

"Tobias, this is Doctor Will. He is here to help out in Tris' case." She pointed to a tall man with blond hair and green eyes.

"Nice to meet you," Doctor Will offered his hand. I shook it.

"Same."

"The surgical operation is her only chance now. Other than that, we can increase the morphine level and wait," Doctor Marlene said. Wait for her to die. The thought provoked a shiver down my spine.

She was lying on the hospital bed, an oxygen mask attached to her face. Her comatose state made her look like she was sleeping soundly.

"The thing is, Tobias, we don't think she'll make it through surgery," Dr. Will said. He gave me a couple of minutes to process such information. But I couldn't accept it. "But surgery is her last hope."

"When will you wake her up?"

They exchanged looks. "We tried. We have been trying for the 24 hours."

"What do you mean 'trying'?" I felt dizzy, I wasn't breathing enough air. Or that's what I felt like.

"Tris should make that decision, but she fell into a coma last night. And we can't wait for her to wake up to make a decision about the surgery, due the fact that she might not wake up."

"It is up to you now, Tobias. You are her family now. Tris signed a clause that says if she, for any reason, couldn't make a decision, it should be made by you. You must choose if you want us to try surgery or not. But I must warn you: she doesn't have much time."

How could she do this to me? Put her life in my hands like that?

"She has to be strong to survive the surgery. Is she strong enough?"

I ran my hand over my hair.

How could I make such a decision? It was her life. I had met her recently and I had to decide whether doctors performed a high-risk surgery.

The surgery was a risk for Tris. But, if not done, she would certainly die.

I just had to think about her eyes. The look in her eyes had always made me fall in love with her over and over again. I could see the confidence, the recklessness, the bravery, in them. And, with that, I would to be sure she would make it.

"Do it."

I squeezed Tris' hand. Please, Tris, please, don't die.


I have an unpayable debt to Tris: Kaede.

Our five year old daughter plays with her favorite doll in the garden.

I sit in the hammock, watching her.

Kaede is an exact copy of Tris, and I thank God for that. Long blond hair and both short. Kaede also loves heights, just like her mother. But what I love most about them is their eyes. Big grey orbs, with a hint of blue, that study and analyze everything and everyone with a tremendous intelligence. They showed ferocity, determination, bravery and love. I always know what they want just by looking into those unique eyes.

Today is the day that marks Tris' surgery. For the past years, it has always been a difficult day for me. Love, trust and rebirth have marked this day over the ears.

Tris was my angel and she'll always will be. One simply can't forget about angels.

The doctors thought she would not make it. But I never doubted my Tris.

I hear footsteps on the wooden balcony and smile.

"Close your mouth, you're gonna catch flies."

"You know I love watching our beautiful daughter. She looks exactly like you."

Tris sits on my lap, her legs by my side, and rests her head on my chest.

"I know. She's a daddy's daughter and you are an amazing father."

I snake my arms around her waist and turn her, so her back is facing my chest. I place my head on her shoulder and she lays her head on my shoulder.

We sit in silence, watching our daughter, enjoining each other's presence for a while, until she turns to me.

"Thank you for staying," she whispers.

"I would never leave, Tris." And I mean every word of it.

"Tobias?"

"Yes?"

"I'm pregnant. Again."

My lips crash hers in a desperate kiss. Desperate to show love and happiness, caring and joy.

With her cancer gone, annual check-ups for both Tris and Kaede, we only have to live our lives the best way we can.


Yes? No?