The Beginning of Afterwards
Reddington spots them- the man and the child. She was in his arms over by where Elizabeth had been, standing in the makeshift hospital area in the nightclub. He hadn't been sure what he'd feel when he'd see them. Anger? Sadness? Bitterness? Instead, the moment he laid eyes on the little girl in Tom's arms, he felt a release. The only thing on his mind was the child.
This was not the same for Tom. The girl was fussing a bit, and so he bounced her up and down to calm her. His fingers brushed her cheek, but his focus was elsewhere. His eyes were trained on the floor. The incensed thoughts ran through his mind. Why Liz? Why now?
Red made his way through the opening of the hospital room, but Tom barely noticed.
"How is she?" Reddington asked, looking at the girl.
"She'll be okay." Tom answered curtly, then looked up. "Did she wake up?"
Reddington shook his head, and Tom looked back down at the baby in his arms.
"Agnes." Tom muttered. Red looked confused. "That's the name we chose. Her name is Agnes."
Somehow, despite what seemed to be the infinitely heavy weights on the corner of his lips, Red managed a small smile. "That's a good name."
Tom sighed, and played with Agnes's little fingers.
"She wanted to get married." Tom started, his eyes not leaving his daughter, "I, obviously, did too, but we had made plans to get married later. But so much was happening and so much had already happened that Liz just really wanted to get married. At first, I wasn't so sure, but then she gave me this smile. I just couldn't believe it. After the hell she went through, after the hell you and I put her through, she could still smile like that. She still wanted to get married and have this kid and be a family. How could I say no?"
Red knew exactly what he was talking about. He knew about that smile. He let Tom continue.
"But now," Tom went on, anger seeping into his voice, "now the moment she finally has a family, she gets ripped away from us. I can't just- I can't-"
Reddington walked over to Tom, who losing his calm by the second, and cautiously held out his arms toward Agnes. Tom quickly handed the child over to Red, and ran his hands through his hair.
"I can't do this!" Tom said, his voice quiet but angry, "I can't do this by myself. I don't know what to do."
"You'll learn fast." Red assured him. Agnes wrapped her hand around his finger and he found himself smiling again.
From the corner of his eye, Tom spotted Liz's shoes on the table next to him. She had almost made them late that morning because or those stupid shoes. While he was brushing his teeth, Liz ran into the bathroom with that pair and another in her hands.
"Which ones do you like better?" She had said.
"I don't think I'm qualified to answer that question." Tom said, barely understandable with a mouth full of toothpaste. He filled a glass of water, took a swig, and then spit it out.
"What is the point of having you around if you can't help me decide my outfits?" Liz teased. Tom smiled and walked over to her.
"Well, if that's the case," he laughed, "then, in my obviously super professional opinion, I like these better" Tom pointed to the ones on the right.
"Thank you, future husband." Liz said, smiling as she rested the left pair of shoes on the counter.
"You are so welcome, future wife." Tom placed a kiss on Liz's cheek and went out of the bathroom and continued getting ready for a day that they could in no way be ready for.
Seeing those shoes there, vacant and left behind made something in Tom snap.
Without thinking, Tom grabbed one of the shoes, and threw it across the room in frustration.
"Tom," Red started, but Tom continued, kicking over one of the machines. Agnes started to fuss.
"Tom," Red tried again, but he was ignored, and with two hands, Tom flipped over the hospital bed. Reddington began to walk toward him.
Tom took a deep breath to calm himself.
"I'm done!" Tom exclaimed, backing away from Red. He put his hands up to show he meant no more harm. "I'm done." he repeated. Reddington stopped his advance as Tom took one last defeated deep breath.
It was true. Tom was done.
