Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
—Lao Tzu
Chapter Ten
.
The vials clanked obnoxiously as Evie fidgeted with the glassware and watching the pale liquid slosh around inside. Evie had skipped Mathletes to spend the afternoon completing the potion to her perfect standards. Evie rarely came across a need to use her magic but when Evie did choose to use her gifts, she allowed no room for error. Every ingredient was meticulously prepared and carefully measured before being combined together in the proper order.
After she finished the potion, she'd bottled it and set it aside to cool, distracting herself by cleaning up the mess she'd made on her desk from the makeshift potions kit that she and Doug had scraped together after raiding the chemistry classrooms. Now it was evening and Evie laid on her bed staring at the potion in the vials. She was supposed to text Jay so he could drop off Mal and pick up Carlos's potion. She and Jay had agreed that they wanted to do this alone, though neither could quite explain why. Ben wasn't very pleased but respected her request anyway.
She picked her phone up for the tenth time in the past few minutes and typed in her passcode. She'd already typed out the message she needed to send and her finger hovered over the screen before she finally pressed send. Her phone buzzed moments later with a reply from Jay telling her that he was heading over. It wasn't long before Jay knocked and entered the room with Mal and Carlos.
"Hey," Jay spoke, eyeing the vials in her hand. Carlos and Mal climbed onto the bed next to Evie.
"Hey," Evie responded, petting Carlos's curls as he settled into her side. "Let's do this." Jay nodded and Evie turned to Carlos and Mal. "Hey guys, Jay and I have some medicine that we need you to take."
Mal wrinkled her nose in disgust and Jay spoke up, saying, "It's really important that you take this Mal. It'll make you big again."
Carlos looked up at Jay fearfully, "You don't want us little anymore?"
"No!" Evie protested, "That's not what we meant at all. We love you little, but you're supposed to be bigger. You're still going to be you, just a little older." Evie met Jay's eyes, desperate to comfort the two.
Jay opened his mouth to speak but Mal jumped over Evie's lap and grabbed a vial, uncorking it and downing the contents before Evie or Jay could react.
"Mal!" Evie exclaimed, staring at the small girl. Mal shrugged and handed Evie the empty vial.
"Tastes like strawberries," Mal slurred, eyelids drooping. She slumped over on the bed, asleep. Carlos looked from Mal to Evie in horror.
"I'm scared," he whispered, clutching Susan in front of him like a shield.
"I know, C" Jay spoke. "We're sorry, but you have to. Please."
Carlos nodded reluctantly and Evie handed him the second vial after removing the cork. "Please drink it," she urged.
"Okay, Evie." Carlos scrunched his eyes shut and swallowed the pink liquid. When he opened his eyes, they were widened with disbelief. "Mal was right," he managed to say before the potion took effect and he fell asleep, leaning on Evie.
"That was harder than I expected," Jay commented. They both knew he wasn't talking about the physical action of convincing them to drink the potion but rather was referencing the emotional toll of the last few minutes that was already beginning to take effect on the two. "I guess Carlos and I should get going." Evie nodded and Jay picked up the sleeping Carlos. "See you tomorrow?"
Evie paused from where she was tucking Mal into her bed. "Yes. Text me when you guys are awake."
"Will do," Jay half-heartedly saluted her and closed the door behind him. Evie flopped back on her bed, relishing in the comfort of her own bedspread. She and Jay had agreed that they would separate into their own rooms for the night, but Evie hadn't realized how strange it would feel to be back in her room with only Mal. Now it was a waiting game. The potion would work similarly to the initial spell, reverting them back to their older selves at some time during the night. Evie settled into her bed for a restless night of sleep, nervous for what the morning would bring.
When Jay woke up he found that he was very comfortable. There was something weighing down on his arm that once moved, Jay was sure would prove to be all pins and needles. Also Jay was very warm, almost on the verge of being too warm, but for now he felt content. Jay made to roll over but discovered a body on top of him, keeping him in place.
He sucked in a breath and opened his eyes. It was Carlos—sixteen-year-old Carlos—sprawled over Jay with Susan abandoned somewhere on the bedspread. Out of shock, or perhaps realization, Jay yelled and threw himself back. He fell out of the bed with a thump, legs tangled in the sheets. Carlos was tugged along with the movement and was jolted awake as he landed in a heap next to Jay.
"What the heck?" Carlos rubbed his head where he fell and gave Jay an annoyed look. "What was that about? You weren't dreaming about Tourney again were you?"
Jay just stared.
Carlos reached out and playfully pushed at Jay's arm, "Come on man, what's up?"
It was all so normal. Carlos was acting as if he hadn't just woken up after being curled up with Jay all night. He was acting as if he hadn't spent the last five weeks as a four-year-old. Jay's head was spinning and he felt like no matter how many breaths he took, his lungs couldn't get enough air. He sucked in gulps of air and scrambled to his feet. Carlos slowly stood, kicking the blankets from his legs and haphazardly tossing them back onto Jay's bed, laughing when he encountered Susan who he tossed over to his own bed.
"C-carlos?" Jay hated that his voice cracked but everything felt wrong because it was so normal—and he hated that he liked that it felt so normal.
Carlos turned to Jay, concern written on his face. "Hey, are you okay? You didn't have a nightmare did you?"
"No, I didn't—I mean, do you—" Jay stammered and then forced himself to pause and collect his thought before saying, "You can't do that, you're not four anymore."
Carlos frowned and Jay instantly regretted his words. "I don't understand."
"The sharing a bed thing, it's not—we shouldn't," Jay couldn't seem to formulate a coherent sentence. He knew that waking up to an older Carlos would be a shock, he'd predicted that much. But waking up to an older Carlos who was using you as a pillow was a very different story. Carlos using Jay as a pillow was one thing when he was four, but as a teenager, it was very different.
"Jay," Carlos said, after making a noise of protest. "You're my best friend. I don't see why sharing a bed is a problem. I mean I love—"
Jay made a strangled noise, cutting Carlos off. "Wait!" He looked around the room frantically for something to justify his interruption. "Lonnie has organized the collection of your homework and notes for classes. It's been awhile so there's a lot you need to catch up on."
Carlos took a step back, soaking in Jay's cop out excuse. "I see." He worried at his lip with his teeth as his brown eyes gazed at Jay, no attempt to hide what he was feeling. His trust in letting Jay see his emotions made Jay feel even worse and he wished he could hit rewind and take back everything he'd just said. Carlos finally released his lip to say, "I should get started on that then." Carlos shuffled around the room, changing out of his pajamas and frowning when he found one of his dresser drawers filled with only children's clothing. Jay perched himself on his bed and remained there until Carlos finished his morning routine, slung his book bag over his shoulder, and left the room, shutting the door with a soft click.
Jay sighed and fell back onto his bed, pulling out his phone to text Evie.
Wake up was bad.
Evie woke up to the sun filtering through their flower-patterned curtains. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Hadn't she closed the curtains the night before? When she removed her hands from her eyes to stretch she saw Mal looking out of the window, lost in thought. Evie pushed her covers back and padded across the soft carpet until she stood next to her friend, now reverted to the correct age.
"Mal?" Evie prodded, pulling Mal from her musings.
Mal glanced over briefly before returning her focus out the window. "I remember everything," she whispered. Her face was a blank mask, but her words betrayed her vulnerability.
"Everything?"
Mal nodded once then said, "Well mostly. It's as if I woke up one day and suddenly had these new memories from my childhood that don't seem to fit in with the rest. I remember it like it happened twelve years ago, but God, Evie, I remember." She exhaled a shaky breath, finally meeting Evie's worried stare. Evie looked into Mal's green eyes, fraught with insecurities and worries.
"There's nothing to fear," Evie mollified. "Nothing that happened was your fault. No one is holding this against you."
Mal let out a single bitter laugh, "Don't lie to me E, we're past that. Everyone is going to remember what I did, probably better than I do. I'm so embarrassed. I mean, for evil's sake, I colored on Carlos! I made Ben dress up in a tutu and tiara! And there's so much worse, I don't even know where to begin."
"Mal, you were four. They'd have to be stupid to try to seriously make fun of you for any of that. Jay and I don't care, what's more important to us is that you're our friends and we love you. We took care of you because we care. We all did what we did because we care so much about you, Mal, you have to know that." Evie said, reaching out and giving Mal's hand a solitary squeeze. Mal looked away, overcome with emotions that she wasn't used to feeling, let alone displaying.
"Yeah, whatever," she said shortly.
When Evie and Jay had insisted on being alone for the transformation back to their older selves, Ben had repeatedly asked to be able to see Mal first thing the next morning. Evie knew he was concerned and so had told him that she'd make Mal aware of his desire to visit.
"Ben wants to see you," Evie suggested.
Mal sucked in a startled breath and snapped her head toward Evie. "No."
"But he's really—"
"I said no and that's final, Evie," Mal commanded. Her eyes flashed green and the curtains flapped wildly around them before settling down. Mal looked at her hands and then at Evie, surprised. "I'm sorry," She choked out, "I haven't done accidental magic since—" She let out a strangled noise, "I need to go for a walk. Don't follow me."
Mal bolted out of the room, slamming the door behind her and Evie remained where she stood, watching Mal leave. She knew what Mal was going to say before she cut herself off. Mal was going to say that she hadn't done accidental magic since she was a child.
Evie jerked the curtains shut, suddenly annoyed by the sun's audacity to shine in her eyes. Her phone chimed from across the room and she trudged over to check her messages.
Wake up was bad.
It was from Jay. Evie unlocked her phone and typed out a quick response.
Mal is MIA. Come over asap so we can regroup. :/
Be there in a few.
Evie sat crossed legged across from Jay with her hands folded in her lap. "Tell me exactly what happened between you two," she demanded.
Jay ran his fingers through his hair and pursed his lips. "Well, we woke up," he began.
"Yes obviously," Evie stated dryly, "Unless this is some sort of elaborate dream sequence, we are indeed awake."
Jay curled his lip at her wry humor and she giggled once at his expression. He continued, "You know how Carlos liked to cuddle when he was younger?" Evie nodded. "I woke up with him laying on top of me."
Evie gasped and her hands fluttered up to her face. "What happened?"
Jay shrugged, then said, "I freaked out a bit. He just kept acting like everything was okay! What was I supposed to do?" Evie quirked an eyebrow, ready to respond, but Jay plowed on. "We kind of argued, but not really. He was about to say that he loved me but I interrupted him and reminded him about his homework."
"Homework?"
"Yeah."
Evie slapped his arm. "Seriously?"
Jay leaned away and rubbed his arm where she assaulted him. "I didn't mean to, it just kind of happened!"
"Jay, I say this with love, but you're literally the most stupid person I've ever met," Evie chastised him, waving a finger at him.
"Yeah, I know." Jay let out a resigned sigh and asked, "What about you and M?"
"She freaked out." Evie looked over at the window where they'd been talking. "She remembers what happened, I think. She's really embarrassed by everything and when I mentioned Ben wanting to see her, she did accidental magic and then ran away."
"Accidental magic? She only did that when—"
"—she was a child, I know. So does she. I think that's why she bolted," Evie surmised thoughtfully. "She's scared. I don't even know where to find her," Evie looked at Jay with a degree of fear now introduced to her eyes.
"Carlos went to the library. You make sure he's okay and I'll find Mal, yeah?" Jay asked, planning out loud.
"Okay." Evie scooted to the side of her bed and grabbed her shoes, lacing them to her feet. "Text me when you find her." They moved towards the door and shared a quick hug before parting ways, heading down opposite ends of the hallway. Evie let the rhythmic clunk of her blue combat boots against the hallway sooth her. Jay would find Mal and Evie would talk to Carlos and together they'd make everything better.
She entered the library and waved at the librarian before heading through the stacks, looking for a red clad teenager. "Carlos!" She breathed a sigh of relief when she finally spotted him. He stood at the sound of his name and Evie swept him into a bear hug. "Carlos," She spoke again, almost a plea.
Carlos hugged back, holding her upright. "I'm okay, Beri," he stepped back, holding her at arm's length. "Just trying to figure out what I missed."
Evie looked up and down at Carlos and sure enough, it was her sixteen-year-old freckled friend. She gave him a bright smile and they sat across each other at the table. "Carlos, it's so good to see you."
"I'd say the same, but you haven't really gone anywhere," Carlos joked, picking up his previously abandoned pen and twirling it through his fingers.
"Jay told me that you guys had a fight." Evie cut off the pleasantries and dove straight for her point. "Are you okay?"
Carlos's cheery demeanor visibly deflated and he jerked his shoulders in a semblance of a shrug. "I think I messed up," he admitted forlornly. "I'm not really sure what happened this morning but Jay freaked out big time."
Evie reached out and grabbed his hand, stopping the frantic tapping against the table as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "How much do you remember from being a kid?"
"I'm not sure, it's all kind of hazy. I remember being loved. I remember Susan and being carried by Jay. It's like I have the snippets of memories from being a kid and I don't know how to make sense of them with the rest of my memories." He flicked his eyes up at Evie, "Everything's jumbled around and I don't know what to do."
"So you've been working on homework instead?"
"Homework makes sense. Homework is just studying and learning, not sorting through memories and feelings and figuring out what to do so I don't lose my best friend forever." The way the corners of his lips tugged downward made Evie ache.
She squeezed his hand again and said, "I don't know how to make this better. But I do know that you forgot to carry you negative sign through the problem." She tapped a finger from her free hand on the example problem he'd been solving.
"Dang it!" Carlos looked down at his work and saw that she was indeed right. "Can you help me with this? I have a lot to learn and not a lot of time."
Evie gave him a small smile, "Of course I can, C. By the end of today you'll be a math expert."
"You're the best, Evie. So what's going on with this law of cosine stuff?" Evie shifted so that she was sitting next to Carlos and launched into an explanation, glad that her friend was beside her, safe and sixteen.
Of course she was by the Verbena patch, Jay thought wryly to himself. As a child, she'd been fascinated by the flowers, insisting that they visit anytime Jay took them outside. The purple flowers were not the first place he'd thought to look and he'd actually stumbled upon her quite accidentally. He had been walking through the gardens on his way to the park when he saw her sitting on a nearby stone bench, drawing shapes in the damp earth with her bare feet.
She was in her pajamas, matching white shorts and tee shirt with purple polka dots. Her favorite pajamas during her five weeks as a child had somehow grown with her. Her ankles were spattered with mud from the pathways to the bench and her hands were clenched around the front edge of the bench.
He sat next to her and looked down at the scrapbook in his hand. He'd pinched it from Evie's room before they left and he now hoped that it was the right move to make.
Mal was the first to speak. "It's petrichor."
"What?"
"The smell," Mal gestured around them with a swirl of her foot. "Rain on the dirt or something like that. Doug taught me that word when I was," she swallowed heavily, "You know, a kid."
Jay hummed affirmatively, then dropped the sparkly scrapbook on Mal's lap without comment. Mal gave him a questioning look and he gestured for her to open it. She rolled her eyes and cracked open the cover.
"So what?" She asked, "It's just a bunch of pictures of Carlos and I as kids. What's your point?"
"Wow," Jay drawled playfully, "Conceited much?"
Mal pushed at his shoulder and sneered without malice. This was how they communicated, with snarky banter, and Jay was comforted with how easily they fell into their old sarcastic ways.
"What am I looking for?" Mal asked, turning a page and cringing at one of the pictures.
"Don't look at yourself. Look at everyone else in the photos. Look at Evie and me and Ben and Lonnie and Doug and I think there's even one with Kevin somewhere in there," Jay said, pointing at various photos.
"You're all smiling?" Mal fished, still not clear on Jay's point.
"M, we aren't just smiling. We're happy." Mal lifted her eyes from the photos to look at Jay as he continued to speak. "I know you're embarrassed by some of your memories, but you don't have to be."
"So you wouldn't be embarrassed if you had memories of Evie bathing you or of jumping on Ben and making him carry you around? You wouldn't be embarrassed by throwing a tantrum in the middle of class? Don't lie to me like that Jay." Mal's voice increased in volume during her rant and ended with a scoff directed at Jay.
"Maybe if all that happened when I was sixteen. Mal, you were four. You didn't know better, you just acted like how a four-year-old acts. Besides since we did witness that and we all still want to be your friend, don't you think that means you're stuck with us?"
Mal let out a surprised laugh and leaned into Jay. "Well, when you put it that way it's not as bad." Her lips quirked up briefly.
"I knew I could make you see logic," Jay teased affectionately and they fell into a comfortable silence. Mal released a tired sigh and Jay said, "We need to go back eventually because they're a lot of people concerned about you, but you know, I think it'd be okay if we waited another half hour or so."
"Thank you, Jay," Mal said and shut her eyes, letting the sun warm her face.
"Anytime Mal. I've got your back."
.
Monday morning isn't terribly far off from Sunday. So normally I spend four days writing and three days editing but this week I spent two days writing and about half an hour editing. :/ Also my beta won't have a computer until Thursday so if you pick up on any typos I missed, let me know.
Anyway! Today is my first day of classes for the fall semester! I might have to take two weeks between updates to write and prepare the next chapter. Not only am I taking 18 STEM heavy credits, but also these chapters are important and I want to make sure I make them the best I can for you guys.
Anyway, enough about me, let me here about you! What did you think of this chapter? Drop me a line in the review box, it really makes my day and motivates me to get my butt in gear and write more!
Question: Who is your favorite Youtuber?
Recently I've been watching a lot of youtube as a way to have a quick study break and I'm obsessed. I think my favorite would be Supefruit which is technically two youtubers, but if you haven't seen their hip hop goes broadway videos, you need to, they're literally amazing~ :)
.
