September 2016 (I'm skipping July don't hate me)

Tobias was going to miss her birthday. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't a big deal, but she couldn't lie. When she got the phone call on Wednesday that saying that he had practice all weekend, she was heartbroken and devastated. He had promised her that he would make it.

Two days after she got Tobias' call, Will showed up at her door carrying an overnight bag. "Chris and I got into a fight. You don't mind if I spend the night on your couch do you?"

Tris shook her head and opened the door wider. "You can have the guest room. Tobias isn't coming."

He set his things down and gave her a pitying smile. All of her friends knew how Tris and Tobias had been struggling over the past few months. He had come to visit for a weekend in July and it hadn't been pretty. They fought basically the entire time and he ended up so angry that he spent the night on Zeke's couch and left early the next morning without even saying goodbye. Things weren't the same as they used to be, they both knew it. She still loved him though, and he her. Nothing could change that.

"I'm sorry, Tris." Will said.

"It's okay." She lied, faking a tight smile. "I know how busy he is. What happened to you and Christina?"

"A long story. And I'm beat. I'll tell you in the morning?" He offered, walking into the guest bedroom.

Tris nodded. "Okay. Goodnight, Will."

"Night Tris. Oh, happy early birthday!"

Tris smiled a little.

A few hours later, when Tris was watching T.V. and sipping a cup of tea, she heard another knock on the door. She glanced over at the clock on the table beside her. It was almost three in the morning. Happy birthday, Tris, she thought to herself bitterly.

Sitting up and wrapping a blanket around her bare shoulders, she made her way to the door. She opened it to find Tobias in a gray hoodie, his black travel bag in one hand, and a wrapped box with a bow on top in the other.

Tris almost screamed with excitement when she saw him. Tobias couldn't hide his bright grin, either. "What the hell are you doing here?" She laughed, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Happy birthday babe." He said, his nose buried in her hair.

"Come inside. Oh my God."

He did, setting his stuff down on the floor as Tris closed the door. Without another thought, they were immediately in each other's arms. His lips touched hers desperately as she wrapped her legs around his waist. His knee was almost back to perfect, so he didn't groan in pain like she expected him to. She pulled away slightly, "Your knee is doing well, I see."

He smiled at her. "Better than ever. It gets almost 24-hour attention. You should see the amount of money they have, Tris. I have a private nutritionist. It's insane."

He set her down on the kitchen table and looked around. His eyes narrowed as he spotted Will's overnight bag. "Is someone here?"

Tris met his eyes. "Yeah, Will. Him and Chris had a fight tonight and he needed a place to crash."

She knew what was coming. The look on his face was not a good one. She closed her eyes and braced herself for the approaching accusation. "Will? Does he not have any guy friends he can go to?"

Tris rolled her eyes trying to make this situation seem completely harmless - like it was. "Tobias, it's not a big deal. He's dating my best friend. I've known him since I was in high school."

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked sharply.

"You said you weren't coming! And it's not a big deal! "Tris answered, raising her voice slightly.

"It kind of is! What the hell, Tris?"

"Why are you being such a dick about this?" She asked hotly.

Tobias was taken back by her words. They made his face warm with anger. He knew his emotions were getting ready to take the best of him, though there was nothing he could do to stop the shout bubbling out of his mouth. The flight he had earlier had put him in a horrible mood; plus the three drinks he had on the plane were definitely getting the best of him. "I'm not! I just don't know why you didn't tell me you had another guy spending the night in your apartment while I'm not here!"

Tris gritted her teeth. "Because you live twelve hours away! And it doesn't fucking matter! He's one of my best friends, Tobias." She's yelling now, loud enough to wake the neighbors. "I wouldn't care if Shauna spent the night at your place!"

"That's not the same thing!" Tobias screamed at her.

Tris' jaw dropped at his words. "Yes it is! Are you fucking kidding me?"

Tobias didn't have anything to say. He knew what was coming.

Tris didn't mind speaking in his place. "Your double standards are disgusting. Fuck you."

But Tobias was too prideful to admit he was wrong. So instead he let his anger boil even more. "Don't talk to me like that!" He yelled, his voice booming throughout the room.

"Who are you? My dad?"

"I'm your fucking boyfriend!"

"Are you?" Tris' voice cracked. She sniffled but continued to yell at him. "Because I never see you anymore-"

"I'm here now, aren't I?"

"And whenever I do see you, we're always fucking fight over the dumbest shit!"

"Well maybe because you won't stop doing dumb shit!" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He wished that he could reach back into the air and shove them back down his throat. But the world sucks, he knew, and nothing ever happened the way he wanted it to. When has Tris ever done anything dumb, besides this? He thought. He was the one who took pictures with ex girlfriends, and he was the one who got jealous too easily. He was the one who gave her more reasons to leave rather than stay. He was the one who moved away.

He was the one who ruined them.

"You know what, Tobias?" Tris whispered. He could barely hear her. "Just…get out. I don't even know why you're here."

Tobias swallowed. His chest getting that same achy feeling that it always did when he thought about losing her. But he was angry. She lied to him, after all.

So he marched to his things near the door and picked them up, leaving her birthday present sitting on the table. He wanted her to have it.

"I'm going to Zeke's." He yelled at her, looking back into her piercing gray eyes.

Tris laughed bitterly as he opened the door. "Make sure you don't sleep with him. I know it can be hard for two friends to resist!" She yelled spitefully.

Tobias stiffened, so angry he could see red. His jaw clenched and his fingernails dug into the inside of his palm. "Oh, shut up, Tris." He groaned. He was almost out the door. All he had to do was walk into the hallway and shut it. That would be it. He would win.

So he did. It slammed with a loud bang. The last thing he heard before climbing onto the elevator was a shouted, "Fuck you, Tobias Eaton!" She let out a loud a loud half scream half groan and chucked the stupid birthday present from him at the wall. She prayed to herself that it was broken, whatever it was.

Minutes passed, and her anger dissolved into something that felt like it was eating her alive from the inside out. Her sobs echoed off the room as she slid her back down the wall. The only thing that broke her out of her fit was when Will sat down beside her, touching her shoulder apologetically. "That put my fight with Christina to shame." He told her after a few moments. "Seriously, that was really bad."

"You should see the other guy." Tris whispered dryly, biting her lip. Everything in her felt deflated. Part of her wanted him to rot in hell, but the other part was hoping, praying, that he would walk back into the apartment and apologize and give her the best make-up sex that she'd ever had.

"I'm sorry. This whole thing was my fault."

Tris shook her head. "No it wasn't. This was a long time coming. I'm sorry we woke you up."

"I'm pretty sure you woke the entire building." Will chuckled. "But you guys inspired me. I'm going to call Chris."

Tris smiled tightly and resisted the urge to burst into tears.

That night, they would both lay awake with their phones clutched in their hands, hoping that the other would call.


Tris didn't sleep at all. She tossed and turned in her bed until she gave up on sleep and paced around her apartment. She didn't know where Will was, but she didn't really care. Even though it was irrational, she felt like he was the cause to all of this.

At about 7:30, a knock on her door drove her out of her hectic state. She opened it. A tired looking Tobias stood in front of her. He looked like she felt. Dark circles ran under his eyes. His hair was messy and uncombed, and his lips look ragged, like he had been chewing on them all night.

She let him in and they both sat down at the table. Neither of them said anything for a long time.

"I'm sorry, Tris." Tobias eventually spoke. His voice was raw. Tris imagined him crying in his bed. The image made her ache.

Tris was still angry with him, the sound of the slamming door still able to make her flinch, but she was too exhausted to express it. She just nodded. "Me too."

"Seriously, I said some pretty awful shit to you." He took her hand, rubbing little circles on the outside of her palm. "I'm so sorry."

Tris smiled tightly. "I wasn't that nice to you either. Call it even."

He kissed her knuckles. Her stomach was in knots.

She had been thinking all night. The thought had surfaced when she was plotting ways to get them to stop fighting so much. It filled her with so much dread that she could burst into tears at any moment.

A few moments passed before she told him. "Have you ever thought about taking a break?" She asked uneasily.

"Tris-"

She bit her lip. "Seriously, Tobias. We haven't been getting along at all. And last night was horrible. Maybe we should."

He was trying not to cry, she could tell. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were glossy. "I love you." He protested.

"I love you too." She croaked. "But sometimes it isn't enough. I only see you once a month, maybe. And we both know your visits aren't exactly pleasant."

"The distance is the problem. I can quit. I got my degree. I'm sure I can find a job around here." He suggested weakly.

"No. No, don't even think about it."

"Move to D.C. with me."

"I have a job here."

"We can find you a new one."

"All of my friends are here. I have school. I can't just drop everything and… Tobias you can't ask me to do that."

"Don't… please." He was begging. Tris had never in a million years imagined that this boy, Tobias Eaton, would look at her like that- to plead and beg and pray for her stay with him. Something inside of her broke. Cliché as it sounded, she was sure it was her heart.

Tris' couldn't look at him. How could she? She was about to break up with the love of her life. "This isn't working anymore. Maybe… maybe if we try again in a few months, see new people, we can be fixed again." She offered.

"That's such bullshit." He scratched, "And you know it."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Tobias!" She said, a tear slipping down her cheek.

He looked away from her. He didn't want to see her cry because it made him feel heavy, like a weight was resting on his chest. And he knew she was right. They were broken. Whatever they used to have was not there anymore.

He stood up, fighting tears. Tobias took one last glance at her before leaving through the door, slamming it on the way out...again

Tris was left sobbing in her apartment…again.


Literally i wrote this chapter and then the next week i heard the song let it go by james bay on the radio (THIS IS HOW OLD THIS FANFIC IS OKAY IVE BEEN WORKING ON IT FOREVER) and almost cried for reals it matches this chapter so well