Tobias hated flying, but he had to get out of Chicago as quickly as possible.
It took him about three hours to realize that Tris was completely serious and that she was breaking up with him, and once he did, he was so angry he could have punched a hole in Zeke's apartment wall. Who did she think she was? He was the one that had to move away. He was the one that had to leave his best friends behind. She thought she was going through a lot? Well fuck her.
The second he landed it finally hit him. The pain was horrendously similar to being struck in the gut. It took his breath away, made him grunt a little, and he felt the sting of tears well up in his eyes.
"You alright, Eaton? Your dog die or something?" Al joked, glancing over at his teammate from the driver's seat.
"I'm fine." Tobias sulked, partially because of the heart wrenching breakup, and partially because he forgot his headphones on the plane. The last thing he wanted to do right now was talk about Tris. He didn't even want to think about Tris.
"Okay?"
Tobias closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.
"Tobias," Al nudged his shoulder.
"Don't." He groaned, wanting to cry but not knowing why. It took a few seconds to realize that Tris wasn't going to call him later on tonight, or the fact that even if she did want him back, it wouldn't work unless one of them moved a little less than halfway across the country. The pain in his chest became unbearable.
"We have training, Eaton, come on."
With a loud grunt, Tobias rolled himself out of the bed. It was hard, and his joints ached with the effort. Al noticed his teammate's swollen eyes but didn't say anything. He knew Tobias was going through something, and he had finally figured out what it was. "Is this about that girl? What's her name? Trish?"
Tobias wanted to puke, that's how much it hurt. He bit his lip and nodded. "Tris."
"Did she die or something? Jesus, you've been like this for days."
He resisted the urge to swing at Al's head. It wasn't worth explaining to the kid. He wasn't Zeke; Tobias didn't owe him anything. With a shrug, he threw on his hoodie and headed for the car.
"Tris?" A voice called. Christina. "Are you here?"
Tris stifled her groan and rolled over in the sheets of her bed. Her joints popped and cracked with the tiny movements. She hadn't moved from that spot since the night before. She couldn't remember the last time she ate.
Christina found her anyway. "Hey, Prior. You need to get up. It's 4:30 in the afternoon."
Tris moaned and ducked underneath her covers. She felt like bursting into a sob, though there was no reason for it.
"Oh, Tris…" She whispered, climbing onto the bed and laying down next to her. Tris clung to her best friend, a cry shuddering through her body. The sheet became damp with her tears.
When Christina found her yesterday morning morning after Tobias left, she thought that he had dumped her. How could this train wreck of a girl possibly be the cause of it all? It didn't help when she found the abandoned gift box. Tris had eyed it skeptically at first, and then snatched it from her friend's fingers.
It was a framed picture of both of them together the night of Tobias's graduation party. He had put his cap on her head and hugged her while Shauna snapped the picture. The frame glass was cracked, probably from when Tris threw it against the wall. When she saw it, she muffled a sob.
And now, a day later, Tris hadn't moved… at all. She just laid in her bed and and waited for a phone call that she wasn't going to happen.
"Tris, c'mon," She begged, "it's been a whole day. You need to get up."
Tris had gotten up, a few times to go to the bathroom, and every step she took felt like she was going to shatter into a thousand tiny little pieces. And it hurt to move. Why wouldn't she stay in bed?
"I'm calling him." Christina blurted, staring at her friend.
"No, Chris." Her voice was low.
"Whatever happened between you two did more harm than good, so I'm going to fix it."
"Please don't, Christina." Tris begged. She wanted to slap her, but that would require movement. So instead Tris just gripped the sheets through her clenched fist.
"You wanna do it?"
"No."
"Alright then."
Tris watched as she pulled out her phone and called him. It took a moment to realize that she was being serious. "Christina, stop!"
"Hey, Tobias." She cheered. She watched as her finger pressed the speakerphone
"Chris?" His voice hit her like a slap in the face. She bit her lip.
"Yes."
"What do you want?"
"How are you?"
"Fine."
"Hm."
"How are you?"
"Good."
"Is Tris there?" He asked. Her stomach leaped at the sound of his voice forming her name.
"Yes she is."
"Did she make you call me?"
"No."
"Are you going to make me talk to her?" He asked, dread filling his spiteful tone.
"Only if you want to."
"I don't."
"Why?"
"Because if she wants to talk to me she can call me herself."
"Tobias-" Chris fought.
"Don't call again, Christina." He gritted, words hushed. Tris threw her face into her pillow to let out a gurgled sob, straining to not let either of them hear.
The line went dead.
It was weird feeling at first, for the past 24 hours all Tris could feel was the urge to burst into tears, but when she looked over at her friend in this moment, she was infuriated. It was enough to sit her up and push Chris away. "Get out, Christina."
"Tris-"
"I told you not to do that."
"I'm sorry. I-"
Tris wanted to scream. She wasn't really mad at Chris, but anything to mask the pain for something else, she was all for it. "Just get out!"
Chris bit her lip and narrowed her eyes. "You know what? I was just trying to help. You're the one who broke up with him and you're the one who is depressed about it. You can fix this. And sitting in your bed stinking up the place isn't helping anyone!"
Tris grimaced, the truth of the words becoming unbearable. "You don't underst-"
"No, I don't!" She shouted. "You're miserable. If you call him you can fix this and you won't be miserable anymore! Stop wallowing in your self-pity, get over yourself, and call him!"
Tris wanted to punch her friend in the nose. She didn't have the energy for that, though. So she just pursed her lips and rolled over so she didn't have to look at Chris anymore. She faintly heard her apartment door slam.
As October drew to an end, so did Tris' misery (sort of). She went to class, went to work, spent some time with Chris and Will, and then went to bed. It was a routine that she was used to and it helped her not think about Tobias or the sound of her apartment door slamming in between them that night.
Sometimes, though, a memory of him would strike her like a slap in the face. It would be something so easy to trigger, like seeing a pro soccer game on the T.V. or a patient at the clinic with a torn ACL. Tris would just have to bite her lip, stare at nothing, and pretend that she wasn't thinking about how happy she used to be.
The worst was when she saw Zeke waiting for the elevator in their apartment building. She hadn't been expecting the blow to her stomach when he caught sight of her. All of the air was sucked from her lungs and she was forced to remember every memory of Tobias that had any mention of his friend. She almost burst into tears right in front of the guy.
But she didn't, she was stronger than that. So instead she flashed her fake, tight-lipped smile and greeted him with a stiff "Hi."
"How are you?" He had asked her. "I haven't seen you in forever!"
Tris had never wanted to take the emergency stairs more in her life. "I'm good." She responded robotically. "How are you?"
Zeke nodded, casting a glance at her. "I'm good."
Tris pursed her lips while she waited. An eternity of silence passed by before the elevator doors opened and they stepped inside.
Zeke spoke again. "He called last night, asking about you."
Tris inhaled sharply and then gritted her teeth, trying to keep her emotions at a calm equilibrium. "Please don't-"
"I told him that I'd only seen you briefly in the lobby and random places in the city," He said, voice hoarse. "But that you look like shit."
Tris' eyes bulged and she dropped her jaw. "You think I look like shit? And you told him that?" She asked horrified. Tris had only used her right hook once, at a bar when some douchebag grabbed her backside. She had never had a reason to use it again. But she wanted to now. She felt her fingers clench together and she thirsted to swing at him. How dare he say that about her? Who gave him the right to-
"He looks like shit too, in case you were wondering." He choked out, making every ounce of anger drain out of her body.
"Zeke," She pleaded, "Please stop."
"Seriously, he does." He added. "Like he was run over by a semi."
"I don't want to hear this."
"You should call him."
Tris cringed at his suggestion. "This is the slowest elevator I have ever been on." She mumbled.
Zeke stared at her. "He's my best friend, Tris. And he's hurting. I know that you are too, anyone can see it."
"I'm fine." She lied.
Zeke sighed when the elevator stopped on his floor. "Just think about, alright?"
Tris nodded. Zeke left. The elevator rose up three more stories and reached her floor. Tris was a blubbering mess when she finally entered her apartment.
"Tris?" Christina called when she walked into her friend's bedroom. "Are you- Ohmigod what happened to your hair?"
Tris' hair had usually come down to her waist in blonde waves, but since her conversation with Zeke had gone fantastically, she decided it was time for a change. Not two hours after their talk, she was down at the salon cutting off twelve inches. It stopped at her shoulders now.
"I symbolically cut it off to represent my right of passage and character growth." Tris said flatly. Her voice was feigning indifference, but the second she got back from the salon, she cried… again. What was she thinking?
Christina stared at her friend. "I know I should be concerned, but it looks amazing. You look amazing… older."
Tris touched the ends, which now flared out healthily near her neck. "Really?" Tris thought she looked stupid, if anything. Her long hair had been with her since high school. Christina's compliment made her smile a little.
Her friend nodded eagerly. "Seriously. What sprung this on?"
"I um," She started, glancing at the floor. "I saw Zeke in the elevator."
Her friend stiffened. "What happened?"
"He told me that I looked like shit and then insisted that I call Tobias."
Chris pretended to not notice. "You kinda do look like… " Tris glared at her. "or you did. This haircut did wonders to your jawline. If you would let me help you with the dark circles under your eyes-"
Tris rolled her eyes.
"You should call him, though."
"Christina-"
Chris glared at her. "I'm serious. You two needed a break, anyone could see that. But it's been almost two months. I know you miss him. Maybe it would help to give him a call. Patch things up, yeah?"
Tris shook her head, the weight of her friend's words sinking in. Would it help? Tris ached to hear his voice again. How could it not? "I'll think about it."
Christina nodded and walked out of the room. Tris' fingers played with her phone screen until she found Tobias' contact. Her thumb hovered over the call icon.
She wished she could just text him. It would be so much easier. She wouldn't have to fight back tears as it rang. And it really wouldn't feel like she was talking to him. It would be distant and just enough to keep her sane.
She knew she had to call him, though. So, reluctantly, she hit the button.
It rang seven times, each one sending a stabbing feeling of regret through her, before she heard his recorded voicemail.
This is Tobias Eaton. Sorry I missed you. Leave a message.
She felt like crying. Of course he didn't want to talk to her. Why would he? She broke his heart.
The beep sounded. She cleared her throat.
"Hey… it's me… Um… 'Me' as in Tris, in case you deleted my number or something. Ha…I wouldn't blame you if you did. Um... anyway… I just… I saw Zeke earlier and he said that…" Tris trailed off, wishing she could crawl into her bed and die. "Never mind. I'm really sorry, Tobias. I really am. And I miss you… a lot." She choked. "And I know that I hurt you and you didn't deserve it at all and I'm just so sorry." Her voice was raw. A stream of hot tears fell down her cheeks. "You don't have to call me back. I just want you to know that I still…. yeah… Bye."
Tris fumbled to hang up the phone before she could embarrass herself further. Was there a way to stop a voicemail before it sent to the person? She didn't know. She wished she didn't care.
She walked out of the room with shaky legs and met Christina at the kitchen table. "Did you call him?
Tris nodded.
"That was quick."
"He didn't pick up."
"Did you leave a message?"
"Mhm."
"Give it a few hours. It'll be fine."
"Yeah."
So that's exactly what she did. She gave him four hours to call her back before she called again.
He answered with a hushed "Tris?"
Tris bit her lip and closed her eyes. "Hi."
A long pause awaited, the only sound was the static of the line.
"How are you?" She finally asked. Her voice shook.
"I've been better."
"Me too."
"I got your voicemail." He said, laughing a little. Tris felt blood rush to her ears.
"Oh god. That's embarrassing. I shouldn't have even-"
"I'm in Chicago."
"Oh."
"Oh?" He asked in disbelief.
Tris was fighting for words. She finally decided on two. "Yeah…oh." They came out monotone.
"Well, jeez. Um, never mind. I'll just-"
"No, Tobias." Tris amended. "You just surprised me. Sorry. Do you want to do dinner tonight?"
She heard him exhale in what she hoped was relief. "Oh."
"Oh?" She smiled a little.
He chuckled. Tris bit her lip at the sound. "Yeah, I'll come. Six?"
She grinned, wanting to squeal and jump around like a teenager. After two months of not getting to see him or talk to him or be with him, she was finally going to get all of those things at once. "Sounds good."
"Okay. Bye, Tris."
listen i am so sorry this took so long. i have been so busy omg. please don't hate me:))
