When I joined the team I never expected to like them. To be friends with them. I never expected to have movie nights with Spencer or girls nights out with Jennifer and Garcia. Didn't think I'd go to the range with Derek or go to Rossi's for dinner. I didn't even imagine doing paperwork in silent companionship with Hotch.
In a way I'm sort of glad I never imagined how close I'd become with them. It made the experience so much better. Not a day goes by where I wonder how I made it through the day. I know how I survived. It was the same way the rest of the team survive every hellish situation the worst of humanity has to offer the BAU: each other. Family.
I won't say the filled the hole in my heart left from Amy. They couldn't. No one could. No, they just created their own room, numbed the pain a little. Made it easier to bare.
I should have told them a long time ago. I know I should have. There have been so many damned days I considered telling them. So many plane rides. I should have told. But she's my daughter.
My daughter. My responsibility. Mine.
I could never be sure the bastard that took her wasn't tracking me, either. Who knew if he was listening in on my phone calls, reading my emails? The guy got in and out my apartment without leaving a trace. My apartment. If he hadn't done it, I would have thought it impossible. To quote the dynamic duo of Derek and Garcia, "Prentiss, you're a little paranoid." "A little?" They both laughed it off with me after, but the truth is, they're right. I am paranoid.
Which means this unsub is good. Scary good. Calculating, highly intelligent. Patient- the guy has been playing his sick game for two years without flinching. Not motivated by money- he's never asked for ransom. He gets off on control, power. He likes screwing with people's heads, driving them crazy slowly.
Translation: he's an asshole. A dead asshole when I finally nail him.
The night I decided to tell my team was a bad one. Long day chasing some low life who made a game of slicing up kids and sending videos to the parents. Dirtbag killed four kids before we stopped him. It was a taxing case for all of us. The plane ride back from Wyoming was a long one. None of us talked, each of us silently trying to wrap our minds around what happened. Or trying to erase what happened. Either way, no one talked much. No one was in the mood for chess or cards. Spencer didn't even have the energy to read. We just sat, our heads hanging or resting on our fists, gazes blank, unfocused. Kid cases are the worst. Especially for Hotch and me, since we have our own. Not that the team knows about mine.
We trudged through the office, said muted goodbyes and agreed to come in a little later than usual. After all, it was already one in the morning and none of us had slept much in the 5 days we were away for the case.
The case weighed so heavily on my mind that I almost forgot it was Thursday. The day he always sent his proof of life video. I called out to Sergio, shut the door to my apartment and had made it halfway through undressing on the way to the bedroom when I remembered. Hastily buttoning one button near the middle of my shirt I ran to grab my laptop from my lock box (yes, I lock up my personal laptop. I told you already. I'm paranoid.).
My fingers shook as I punched in the nine digit code (super paranoid). I was angry with myself and scared that I could have forgotten. Had almost forgotten. How the hell could I have forgotten? Mentally cursing myself out, I opened the laptop, started it up, and whipped through the login requirement.
My inbox was bursting but only one email had been flagged and tagged to alert me, by my own doing. I opened it only to let out a sharp gasp. There was no video. No video. Eyes darting back up to the to address and subject line. Same email address, a no reply account from some company that didn't exist and whose IP address always bounced. Same subject: "Catch me."
Same everything. Except this time there was no proof of life video. Only three words.
I'm done playing.
A/N: hey guys! Sorry my chapters are so short. I really want to bring this story to completion but I'm so busy with my classes that 800-900 words is about all I can manage in the 30 minutes I get here and there.
As always, tell me what you think! Love you all!
