Authors Note: It seems that this Berserk crossover won on the poll between Queen's Blade and High School DxD, though I would dare to say, that DxD was impossible to write and very discouraging with the only course being killing every character with Dragonslayer destroying their route to reincarnation along their sacred gears. I have elaborated the concept with one OC Profile to make it at least writeable. Though, I don't want to load myself with something that haven't read canon, but still I'm quite tempted to write it.

On the other hand Queen's Blade would be the most manageable and in fact I would dare to say I like to write it. Since the course would be serving as sell sword in land of beautiful ladies who fights for a crown while stumbling across the demons which are lame in appearance to borderline absurd. Giving Guts an antagonist role to the eyes of the world is the best way to write it, because Guts is tough to love and tougher to start loving.

Another idea that I came across is Freezing x Berserk, though I would try not step into a male Pandora thing with 100% of OP guarantee for being male, that would be for me would be something disgusting to write in my opinion, so I will stick with same concept making Guts a character near antagonist to have more freedom.

In my opinion the author must the primal evil since he is a god who will put through hell every character. George RR Martin, Marquis De Sade, Lovecraft, Stephen King, are the biggest example of the Evil one author must put into their works.

I will leave the concept on my profile so that the ideas spread like a good virus.

But, before proceeding let me answer some of the reviews that had my attention due to the help, by pointing things I might overlooked of Guts character.

Phantom Dark-Knight: That is why called Irony is forcing Guts out of all people to live this situation, to live among monster woman that desire something directly or indirectly from him. How they will react, we'll let ask our super-hot-sexy-Gut made local yandere reaction, as for him his being forced onto this he have will to do what he knows best keep the pace and adapt to his new condition of living. He might not submit but might bend the knee; of course if one is good at something one must not provide his services for free.

BluePanedGasMask: Tell me what was what the description in the first chapter of Guts? That is the most logical excuse I come upon and something extremely acceptable that will restrain him from doing, while making him not look out of character. And again there is no more fitting title than Irony. XD

And without any further ranting about, let proceed to the story.

Revised/Edited 28/6/16

BetaEdited: 1/8/16 by Munga wa vita


The Foreign Languages of Indecent Proposals pt1


At the Outskirts Of Town

At these hours of night there were barely any sign of life in the streets or the houses.

Well barely…

Outside, a bit apart from a town settle at the north on a small island in the east of the Mnemosyne Archipelago, stood a huge tree with its straight trunk lighted and coated by moss and bioluminescent white stairs fungi, with its wide branches filled with green leaves adorned by the flying lights of fireflies mating call, one would be mistaken by calling this tree a beacon-it is in its right to be called- if it wasn't for its thick roots that grew from it. The three of the roots were not completely under the soil, but were above ground, which appeared as spider legs or an outwardly curved stilts giving more elevation to the already tall tree.

Below its roots, laid a gateway of cobblestones and on the left side of the gate way under luminescent fungi light stood a sign that reads "Marshall Clinic" with an arrow that leaded to the center which ended in the entry of a house made within the base of the tree.

The building was surrounded by a garden filled with many kinds of plants and flora, giving the place a magical beauty at night as some spores floated upward with a glow.

A sound could be heard from the building named Marshall Clinic a heavy waves of grumbles, which dictated no mercy and never ceasing hate.

Inside the tree building in the residential area upstairs, across the stairs are two doors each a room each on opposite sides. The room from the right had noises and glimpses of light coming out of the door frame.

Upon entering one could see it's quite spacious since it could be divided in two, according to the furnisher use, without limiting the movement by using the space properly. In one half, you had a queen size bed on a corner and furnisher like nightstands and closets. In the other half, you had what appear to be furnished out living room with the big sofa -which could sit at least five people, if they are thin like a stick maybe ten, if they are thick like cows then maybe two- in the center a wide table and in front of it is big crystal ball.

Right at this moment it wasn't empty, as there is outline of a person sitting on the sofa in front of a table filled with bowls and bottles, each with different sweets from cakes to chocolates to candies from alcohol to sweet booze, which could be an absurd diabetes marathon… all over this single living room table.

Getting closer, the outline of the person turn out to be… a woman.. who appeared to be in her early 30s with short below ears silver indigo hair, dark crimson eyes, and pale skin, wearing a red tank top and shorts that fit tightly on her plump body which made her choice of sleepwear highly provocative as it highlighted the curves of her thick thighs and meaty chest.

From her thick lips with meaty cheeks that seemed to be meant for sensuality came some of the most foulest combination of words one would expect of such voluptuous beauty "THE BITCH THAT BORE YOU, THE BITCH THAT BORE ME!" Cry of passionate rage and frustration "YOU HAD THE CHANCE TO PASS THE FUCKING BALL ACROSS THAT FUCKING HARLOT YOU DAMN FUCKING LIZARD, BUT NOOO YOU HAD TO BE IN MASTURBATING LALAL~LAND!" spitting some food from her full mouth shouting.

Explosions screams of outrage could be heard on the background.

As the inside of the women's mouth came the unmistakable sound crunched when chewing a lollipop or hard shelled food. The woman as the tension rises she follows a rhythm of spitting the stick then proceeds to drink booze followed by more food in her mouth then putting another lollipop inside her mouth.

This woman who could be categorized as a Mature Woman ripe for harvest, consumption, storage and consumption with a session of the classic and yet never out of fashion thrust in and out and repeat. This woman identity was this building namesake, Dr. Lorian Marshall.

Why the heavy swearing with frustration in her tone you might wonder?

It has been well known among the community that the doctor is patient, and professional in her work, and well-mannered within the community, however this image of her is… completely raped in the dead end of an alley and drastically changes when the doctor is watching Football in her Crystal Ball or more concretely when the team or player she puts a bet on is losing.

Her vocabulary is quite diverse thus making her creative when playing with her words.

"YOU FUCKING HOOKERS IF I WERE TO PAY YOUR MOTHERS THEY WOULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU AND EVEN THEY WOULD GIVE ME AN ONE ORAL WITH DEEP TONGUE AS AN EXTRA COMPENSATION, I MIGHT NOT EVEN NEED TO SHOVE MY BROOM BETWEEN YOUR ASSES OR FORCE A FUCKING MIND FLYER OVER YOUR CUNTS!" The swearing and vulgarities of her poses came to halt when the clock hit zero and the siren were heard meaning the game has ended.

Making her enter into a very not so good mood, especially, when there is a disgusting- to her sight- smile on one of the commentator as the other beside her says the results.

One of them energetically comments with a bar below her face with her name on it: Pheris. "Wow this was truly a massacre between teams, The Wicked won with 6 goals while the Ronin lose with 5 goals which were near the sixth for the tie if it wasn't for the defense put by the WICKED!" She is a werewolf with brown fur yellow eyes. Her tail behind her seems to be swing left to right like an anxious puppy.

As she finished talking the focus is shifted from the werewolf toward another woman with a hatefully disgusting smile plastered on the face face-from the Doctor point of view off course. The woman has green hair with pinky skin with tattoos tracing from her shoulder to midriff and a signature top hat and red collar racing down her cleavage hold by a black bodice.

The below the comments reads a name: Madan.

"HAHAHAI I have to say it was quite an exciting the game, I can't imagine those people who put their bets on Ronin which I guess were heavy succulent pounds of silver. Regardless this is how the finals of Monster Girl Football end. Oh, and before we leave let read some special greeting for my dear friend Lorian Marshall I hope your wallet lose weights this days."

With those words made her the Doctor threw the table with all the bowls and bottles at the Crystal Ball with frustration, and screamed bloody murder to the bitch-again her point of view- which reminded her that she lost of another bet.

In an attempt to calm herself the doctor picks a lollipop from the carpeted floor and hurriedly put it in her mouths and closed her eyes and taking deep breath as she savor it like a cigarette -compulsive gambler habit. Not caring what it may have touched, while on the floor. Since in her book, if the food hasn't been on the floor for more than ten seconds, it cannot go to waste-she is a doctor after all.

Suddenly her door opened and a soft, childish voice spoke "Mama, are you still awake?"

The women look down to see young girl which appeared to be 5 or 6 years old with long white hair, wearing pajamas dragging a teddy bear on her right hand rubbing her eyes-which were brown- with the left hand while leaving a jawing noise.

The way the girl carried herself, was all innocent and meant to be adorable at first glance.

Looking down, the woman look stupidly in confusion as she recapitulated what she was doing, which were: venting her frustration on every object around her room, eating candy in unhealthy speed-without chewing- and forgetting everything outside her world.

Now that she sees this little and so adorable girl in front of her she remembered what she called her.

Yes at "first glance" one can see the "genuine innocence"… However if one spared more than one or two glances they would know it to be… an act.

"You Fucking Runt. You know how I despise you, especially when you suddenly come here, after I see my team lose a game, and act like an innocent girl and calling me Mama as if I were some single, old hag with daughter. It pisses me off, anyways, now I have forgot why was mad about and re-focus my energy on you."

The smile slyly and say without an inch of innocence in her tone "But it's true you are an single, old hag, except without a daughter." Seeing the old hag as she called react she keeps throwing more fuel into the fire "Old, Single, officially and certified Hag that quite the fact."

"And the fact that you are single moreover of an older age than me doesn't make you an old single hag as well?" the woman countered.

The girl says with a sweet tone "But do I appear older than 20, no, I look less than that. And I'm not officially nor certified as a hag. You should stick to the role that suits Mommy."

The girl's words "officially" and "certified" possess a double meaning which is like a very sharp knife that cuts by merely caressing the edge.

The officially part refers to her species: A Witch.

A type of monster that possess allot of magical power and the ability to cast many varieties of spells. Originally they were human women who sought eternal youth and power. And by receiving the power of Baphomet, they've become monsters with the appearance of a little girl and for some reason with childlike behavior and attitudes. One could mistake them by child.

At least that is how they were described once in the ancient monster encyclopedia.

Now they have considerably less power and the very concept of "youth" was heavily altered to shape them to possess the appearance of a very well conserved late 20s -30s some mature woman although their bodies might have aged they still retain the childish-pre-teen/adults- behavior and attitudes.

As for the certified it refers to her age and profession- a subject which many women tend to see it as a delicate matter.

The Doctor age being at least a- universal censoring – years old, plus her vocation as a scholar with a doctorate in monster anatomy and alchemy. All this piled up, surely supports the hag statement.

And it could be reinforced that statement if was mentioned the kind of relation the witch has with the sweet looking little girl in innocent pajamas.

The girl's name is Falna, who lives and works at the clinic as the nurse and assistant of the doctor. But that isn't all she is.

In fact, this girl isn't a child or a real girl; even if it looks like one still she isn't really one.

She is a type of chimera monster, that was artificially created by the Baphomet to be a familiar. These chimeras are the vivid incarnation of the very foundation of their cult which are; impart the charm and indecency of tiny young girls and be devoted to pleasure like a monster.

They can't age in the slight since they were created without being born and thus not having the concept of "aging" or "growth" so they eternally bound to look like a little girl. Though the pleasure of a monster girl have been transmuted/evolved to be more mundane or common to anything that make your head feel the electrifying sensation like it were struck by lightning that felt good regardless the action.

These Familiars are employed by Witches as another mean to store mana/spiritual energy and potential catalyst, and to do most of the task they fail doing due to not being proficient or for being lazy and uninterested in the specific area the familiar's excels in.

The familiar tasks, are often most of the times serving as a medium for the witch. What kind of medium? Well it varies on the witch's disposition, but their main task as mediums is simply doing for the witches more mundane services, such as counselor, assistant, secretary and messenger often do for their employers, aid them with their daily lives.

Why would a witch need that? Well let's see the facts.

The witch is by nature expected to be immature, impatient and very temperamental if their easily upset by any of her whims, no matter the varied disposition, so they would rather turn anyone into frog or mute than hear them utter single word that would displease her mood. So they are not very good dealing with the public or anything social thus the result is they would scare them away instead of luring them. No matter if they use a social mask of cool level headed it will eventually crack or be social awkward.

On the other hand the familiar disposition in "public" can be cheerful or meek, while in "private" cunning and manipulative. One wouldn't be wrong to say "they pull the reign on witch's life like a steed" since they were created by the Baphomet the monster who supervise the cult. Since most of the witches follows the: Sabbath, and it doesn't help that they are the ones who keep in order the witch's arranged present and future affairs for their own good.

They have a symbiotic relation that resemble that of a King and its Court; while the king is the one who hold all the power and authority over the kingdom, the court make sure to focus that power and authority on a objective to appeal to the needs of the kingdom.

The Witch was about to choke the life out of her Familiar, but that train of thoughts, was interrupted by a familiar scent of blood carried by the wind that filled her nostril, the thick smell of blood pass through the scent collection of herbs and flowers on her back garden. Accompanied by another strange yet… arousing smell, which mixed up in her nostril, as her body tensed and her body temperature rose as sweat began to stick on her forehead and humidity started to collect on her thighs.

She wasn't the only one feeling it either, as her familiar mocking smile was no longer was plastered on her face, but instead there was one serious face replacing it, an expression which she often does not allow to show on her face plus subtle red adorning her child like cheeks.

The witch wonder: Ii it because of the first scent or the second or both that caused her demeanor changed or was it something else?

While stuck in her thoughts, wondering the origin of the scent, suddenly… a booming sound of wood being slam against, began to brutally and mercilessly echoed down the stairway. This sound brought the voluptuous doctor out of her thoughts, and rushing out of the room to see what was happening, her young looking familiar follow the same suit of her master.

As they sprinted down the stair as fast as they could as they could the hit on the door grew louder so was them nearing the source of the unknown scent, and when near the last steps of the stair when...

The door broke -literally- open shattering from the center with its frame cracking by the power two horse shoes carrying hundreds of pounds of muscle and fur with it full force of gravity and impulse, came the loud sound of the door falling to the floor with house-shaking force echoing even outside of the residence.

The thick wooden carved front door lies on the floor broken in half, but that wasn't their focus. Something or someone was on top of it. Four horse legs with white fur above its hooves stood over the now broken door on the floor standing under the moonlight. A centaur woman with bright aqua eyes, a lighter tone of ebony on her skin and with black fur her lower body. The centaur was a beauty with her silky black loose hair cascading downward her back highlighted with the aid of nature; it made her stand-off.

Something to notice was the fact, that she was panting and had an heavy scent sweat emitting from her as well a mixture of blood and the mysterious scent, ^which sent them, to the same mixed feelings.^

An anxious voice of a panting Centaur female with ebony skin instantly threw them back to reality "DOCTOR… NEED… YOU'RE… HELP!?"

But what was truly surprising was the state which they find her wears. What was once was an immaculate long sleeve long nightgown was now a sleeveless short torn, blood stained rags that were once called clothes, which did cover –scarcely- her chest leaving to full view of her modest breast from below, slender midriff and her curvaceous hips joining with her imposing equestrian black furred half.

"Are your hurt? Is that your?" the doctor pointed to her blood covered clothes.

The centaur shook her head franticly saying "…not mine."

Recovering her breath the centaur shifted her eyes and head to her back on her equestrian-half allowing the doctor to take notice that she… had a package on her back which was wrapped on pieces of stained blood white clothes.

Closing her eyes to calm down and opening it slowly to see her package "His… But I can explain later, but please help him." she says to rush.

Without further ado the Doctor made the half-equestrian woman follow her to her consultor room or as some medics and healers calls it the 'War Room' which is on the first floor, at the door right next to the stair.

Once she opened the door there was room with vast and spacious possibly twice the size of the doctor's room with around 8 beds occupying it and still have space to spare. The room was illuminated by white light provided by the fungus on the wooden ceiling, illuminating the slit cobble white square stone of floor.

The doctor gestured at the ebony Centaur Olwen-her name- to put the patient on one of the beds, then shifted to her familiar or nurse to bring her the first aids and other medical instruments in case there is something more serious.

When the centaur started to accommodate the patient she was carrying on her horse half, which is a person covered in what surely were what once was her nightgown on the bed -which surely now explain why she was in those bloody rags.

"Help me lay "him" face up." Doctor asked the centaur with a bit of doubt when saying "him".

Once the person was face up the doctor face lit up in utter shock at what she saw.

When Olwen referred to her package as a "him" she started to had her doubts about the centaur, thinking she might had ascended to a higher note when aspiring the concentrated cold salty breath since it wasn't rare to see a drunk without an ounce of alcohol inherit. She though this was one of those nights when meeting an anxious girl since crazy people were normal to be seen on this island with certain self-complex, but as a doctor she must always let them in with open hands. But right this moment when started to look more critically on the package she was starting to question her sanity bit more than usual because it was impossible there was some sort of collective suggestion -is that a bulge between his legs?-affecting her eyes.

Barely breathing… A myth among her kind, which only remnant believe that they truly existed were those sparely long live spawned monsters who tasted them when they were abundant on the world, and the incubus who once were of the same kind. Lying face up on the white sheets of the bed in front of her was something she though should have ceased to exist hundreds of years before her birth….. A human being was on one her bed-naughty ideas.

As the scholar she was, she thought to herself...that this must be a mistake and was being deceived by her eyes because there is no way human could exist in this time.

As she remembers the annals of history of her time as a student, it reads that the last human, the man died by natural causes.

The man even though he had been offered to become an everlasting incubus, he rejected it, saying "I live my life at the fullest of my capabilities as a human could have carried, and have live long enough to see my family and descendants grow and build their own families. So why... why should I turn down the warm offer of death to give this old adventurer a rest? …after all I live such a wonderful and long life shouldn't I let the curtains fall, so that the lead man has his great exit off the grand stage, in which we call life?" The said quote became quite popular and often quoted by those who were reaching the end of their lives.

Thought, he outlived his species lifespan by a monstrous gap. A 900 years old abysmal thing!

It was speculated that one of his lovers was monster with semi divine power and wanted him to live forever with her. So she gave him many things to prolong its lifespan, possibly enhance meals with absurd amounts of OD.

And the Doc being a witch, someone who would always will be looking for more ways to extend her youth and lifespan meant a lot to investigate about this human, since humans weren't known for their long lifespan.

The man was known as the oldest human and the only one who was left after 700 years of the extinction of his race, meaning he had at least 300 years old, when his kind died out.

She studied human anatomy once as an obligatory assignment, so that she have the right to claim your doctorate (she pass it by a nose) to at least to right now she can admit the assignment wasn't useless as she once thought, since right now she had a human lying on her bed-naughty double meaning. The reason behind such assignment was in case these kinds of situations where you have a humanoid patient near the stairway to heaven.

By a glance she could tell that man was internally bleeding due to at least 4 ribs fractured plus various profound cuts, burn marks that were to close the wounds. Plus adding to this bloody feature that his head was bleeding nearly turning red those white bangs on his black hair she wondered if it was possible to be alive in such a state. Though most were treated the best was possible with what once were a nightgown covering his wounds, though she needed to change them while having better look in case she might have missed something.

She didn't failed to note that he was semi-conscious. And had an amputate arm which seems to have not been recent and sealed many years ago, and many old scars from old wounds which seemed to be extreme in more than one way. She was speculating that whatever the man worked as, he had to have deal with a lot of punishment-an understatement.

Rushing across them, the Familiar/Nurse pushing a two story table flat on top with drawers at the center, on the top of it there are white bandages, gashes, needles and vials along with injections; while inside the drawers there is what can be called a reinforced first aid kit with extra bandages, gashes, analgesics and other drugs to ease the patient recovery.

It didn't take much, but a spare glance of her familiar to start working her magic as doctor "Falna inject him with a few milligrams of Apophis Venom we need him conscious." while taking a stethoscope from one of the drawers and plugging the pair of tips on her semi- pointed ears while putting diaphragm on his chest to hear his heart rate which was dropping.

Though the doctor was a witch and could to cast any kind of spell to deal with this sort of wounds as if it wasn't there and avoid the trouble of manually doing it. The doctor couldn't due to circumstances beyond her control, she restricted herself in using magic on patient or generally anything that she can handle without magic.

Her mana supply was at the very least at 20% out of 100 of what was once her species standards were, meaning her mana supply was very low, but that isn't why restrict herself, no, the real problem isn't the supply she currently possess, but to resupply her reserves.

What would be normally at least 12 to 24 hours, for her species to resupply for her species in times they were as shiny as a beacon.

It takes about 3 to 4 days of eating and burning off the calories and many good hour's beauty sleep, to just refill a 20% of her mana out 100% mana she should have restored in a shorter time. Of course she had her familiar as an auxiliary source of mana for just in case, but her familiar was reserved for emergencies only. And this is far from it...maybe

As the albino familiar take the venom with the needle and places it on his arm, she quickly stab the needle through his skin flesh to his vein on his forearm.

A moment after being injected… nothing happened, another and still nothing. And then came the third one…snapped open one.

For some reason she felt like this was going to be a moment she would remember for the rest of her life.

As between hard grinning white teeth and hardened restrained expression, came wailing sound of pain… of the man who will shift her world upside down.


Unknown to the doctor, the doctor failed to notice the eyes of her familiar and the sly smirk crossing her face as she injected the venom… or something else?

…TO BE CONTINUE


AN: And that was the 2nd chapter which I have to divide in two, thinking that if I shift the P.O.V. I would screw the cliffhanger feeling in that last sentence (Evil Laugh). The title are inspired and composed of Song titles and lyrics. The same would be said of the chapters being influenced by them.

No action of Guts just being unconscious. Another thing is that I am coming up with a course on how to write him.

Guts right now is unarmed no Berserker armor no Dragonslayer not even his prosthetic canon arm. I am forcing him to adapt to this condition for him this is just an obstacle he will need to overcome to survive. (I think I said that on the first author note)

More to say I created poll with 10 options to choose out of 100 monster girls species to add to what I consider as to be turned into a pseudo-harem. Also would like some suggestion on occupation this girls depending on their species might appeal.

And created two concept for fanfiction posted on my profile, both crossovers, one of Fate x Final Fantasy 7 the other of Naruto x DBZ. Both about the impact the character will have and influence the events on the world.

Some info:

Mamono/Monster girl Diet: Their alimentation is so complicated and depending on their species that is quite hard to tell which are the nutrients they looking. But they have all a common ground with each other. Their main nutrient they often seek is the OD (I presume), which is life force or vital energy everything living. The OD in their meal is influenced by their quality, which is higher depending on its source for example a fertile soil a well fed animal a fresh blood or recently milked semen. The higher the OD consume the higher is their lifespan and other things as magical abilities etc.

Now for let me put some character profile.

Name: Olwen Rozeo

Race: Centaur

Age: 25+

Occupation: Bar Keeper

Eyes: Aqua Blue

Hair: Deep Black

Appearance: Her upper human body is slim with dark skin and aqua eyes and dark long hair tied in a braid. Her lower body is that of Shire horse with black fur her body and white fur growing above her hooves.

Name: Lorian Marshall

Race: Witch

Age: 100+

Occupation: Doctor

Eyes: Dark Crimson

Hair: Indigo Silver.

Appearance: is that of a mature woman between her late look 20s early 30s. Her buxom is above average, large hips and thick thighs due to her habit of eating too many sweets and less vegetable less exercise since she did only when physical with a male made her gain fat which is reflected on her waist as well. Her hair is short below the ears length making the eyes to pose only in her body.

And that is all for now READ, REVIEW. Send a PM if interested in the concept on my profile or have any suggestion for my story.

Ps: I'm begging you please leave a review with criticism, because that is the only thing that keeps me writing with the best of my abilities, which is with passion.