Title: All You Need is Faith.
Author: Knife Hand
Feedback: Constructive feedback appreciated, flames unappreciated
Spoilers: None.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I do not own either Buffy or Harry Potter.
Summary: In desperation, with the threat of Dolores Umbridge hanging over his head, Dumbledore reaches out to find a new DADA Professor. What he gets is a survivor, a warrior and a rebel… who can't do magic. But maybe this Dark Slayer is exactly what Hogwarts needs.
A/N: I have had some reviews that indicate that Faith should be able to use magic because a Slayer is 'a magical creature'. A Slayer is not 'a magical creature', a Slayer is 'a mystical entity'. Big difference. Ok, if you want to get really technical, a Slayer is a Positive Demonic Possession. Being a Slayer has nothing to do with the form of Magic taught at Hogwarts, though just being a magical creature does not seem to indicate that you can perform magic. Magical Races such as Goblins and House Elves are exactly that, races that can use magic, and the official classification of them as Magical Creatures is simple racism on the part of Pureblood Wizards.
A/N2: I had another review saying that 'tempered in the fire of pain and suffering' would also apply to Buffy after season 7. I disagree. Tempering makes one harder, more able to endure, and that did not happen to Buffy. Buffy in Season 7 refused to learn from her mistakes, blamed others for her poor command decisions and lead everyone into more than one trap while all the real leadership came from Giles, Faith or Xander. Faith genuinely learnt from her mistakes, took her lumps and tried to do better.
The Fifth Year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs nervously approached the DADA classroom for their second Defence class, the second of three every week, remembering how the Professor had 'ambushed' them last class. They all entered cautiously only to fine Faith sitting on her desk, her legs swinging and a grin on her face as she wave cheekily at each group as they arrived, putting their homework on her desk as they passed. The students took their seats and looked up at the Professor in trepidation. Faith took the role silently, matching the faces against the names that she remembered from the last class.
"Alright, let's get started." Faith said. "What is the technical definition of a weapon?"
There was a moments silence before Hermione raised her hand.
"Granger." Faith said, acknowledging the Gryffindor.
"Any tool designed to inflict harm on another." Hermione answered.
"Not a bad definition." Faith replied. "A quite traditional one. I prefer to define a weapon as anything that can be used to defeat your enemy."
Faith looked around the room and noticed that only Harry Potter seemed to get the importance of the subtle difference in her definition.
"Given that definition, how many weapons do you have on you?" Faith asked. "Weasley?"
"Umm… one? My wand?" Ron replied hesitantly.
"That a question or a statement, Weasley?" Faith asked, as she jumped off the desk and began wandering around the room. "But regardless, that is incorrect. Even keeping with Granger's implication that a weapon is to do harm, if I stripped you naked you would have eleven weapons."
"Eleven?!" Dean Thomas said, in shock.
"Sure. Two feet, two knees, two hands, two elbows, two shoulders and your head. The human body can be quite efficient at causing damage." Faith replied. "As long as you know what you are doing. But don't forget that my definition said 'defeat your enemy' not injure them. Not every situation where you need to 'defend' yourself will involve violence. Sometimes it is verbal, sometimes it is psychological, sometimes it is sexual. Sometimes it is all of them. You would be surprised how many times these puppies have given me an advantage in a fight."
With that last comment Faith, now back standing in front of the class, reached down and gave her breasts a squeeze, causing shock amongst the students, in particular the female students.
"Oh deal with it girls." Faith said. "With a few noticeable exceptions, females are physically weaker then males, so for thousands of years women have used the most potent weapons available to them. Tits and sex. Men on the other hand, usually go the more the physical combat route. There is nothing truer than the old saying 'alls fair in love and war', same goes for politics. Most human interaction is a form of conflict based around our tribal nature. Even the House system here at Hogwarts. It gives the school four tribes and every student a 'them versus us' attitude."
Faith reached into a draw in the desk and pulled out a wicked looking dagger and a… pencil.
"There are two major types of weapons. Crafted weapons and improvised weapons. Crafted weapons are made specifically to do harm to another, an improvised weapon is created for something else but used as a weapon" She explained. "The dagger, is a designed weapon, the pencil is an improvised weapon."
"What is a pencil?" Hannah Abbott asked.
"It is a Muggle writing implement." Hermione replied.
"What's wrong with a quill?" Ron Weasley asked.
"Quite a lot, actually." Faith replied. "They are messy, inefficient, require a lot of maintenance, need separate ink pots. Normal people use pens. Pencils are designed so that what you write can be erased easily."
"There is no way that little thing can be a weapon." Ernie MacMillan countered.
With a flick of her wrist, Faith reversed her grip on the pencil and hurled it across the room where it embedded over half of itself into the far wall.
"Next stupid comment?" Faith said, with a raised eyebrow. "No, good. Now, apart from my dagger, and your wands, can anyone identify any crafted weapons in this room?"
The students looked around the room and, after a few minutes, only two raised their hands. One was Hermione Granger and the other was Harry Potter.
"Ok, Potter. Dazzle me." Fait said.
"Well, obviously the sword that is sitting on top of the bookcase at the back of the room. The quarterstaff by the door to your office. And is that a crossbow by the window?" Harry replied, with most of the class swivelling their heads to follow where he indicated the weapons were.
"Not bad." Faith replied. "Though you missed the hand axe."
She hefted the flint hand axe that was sitting on her desk.
"That's just a rock." Lavender Brown observed.
"Mankind is a violent race and have been since the first fucking cave man picked up a rock and bashed the living shit out of another ones skull." Faith said. "And if you look at the axe it is worked by stone tool, making it a crafted weapon."
Everyone thought about that for a moment and then Hermione, hesitantly, raised her hand.
"Yes Granger?" Faith asked.
"I was just thinking about improvised weapons." Hermione said. "From what you said, potentially anything can be an improvised weapon."
"Finally, they fucking get it." Faith replied. "She's right. Anything can be a weapon, just so long as you can think up a way to use the fucking thing as a weapon. Now some people say shit like throwing dirt in someone's eyes is 'unsporting', well fuck that. When you're fighting for your life, all bets are off, so do whatever you can to win. If they complain about it later, then all the better because it means you are still alive."
Faith pulled herself back up to sit on her desk again and glanced at her watch.
"Ok, that's about time for this lesson." She declared. "For your lesson on Friday, we will be meeting in the Great Hall. And wear the PT uniform that was the new addition to your school uniforms list."
With that she waved the students out of the class. She pulled out her schedule and saw that her next class was Fourth Year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws and a smile crept across her face. She had loved that class last time, solely because of one of the Ravenclaw Students. Man could Lovegood think outside the box. With a bit of training, her unpredictability could make her almost as dangerous as Faith herself in a fight.
TBC…
