Chapter 4

Jane smiled and fought back the urge to laugh softly while she watched Maura waking up from sleep. She already thought Maura was adorable, but this watching how she slept after being pleased took her adorableness to an entirely different level.

Maura tossed and turned gently, she was becoming aware that she wasn't laying in Jane's arms any longer. Slowly her eyes opened. The morning light peeked in through the curtains. When she caught sight of Jane, she smiled.

"Good morning," Maura said softly.

"Good morning, beautiful."

Maura chuckled and yawned. "I don't know about beautiful, especially this early in the morning."

Jane crinkled her brow, "Nonesense." She winked at her and leaned in and kiss her lightly on the lips.

"Mmm," Maura sighed against Jane's lips.

Jane pulled away and gazed at her lovingly. After a few long minutes, she sighed heavily and stroked Maura's hair.

"What's on your mind?"

"You."

"What about me?" Maura asked.

Jane sighed again and rolled over onto her back. "Just wondering about some things."

"Which things?" Maura asked leaning up onto her elbow. "What do you need to know?"

Jane wrung her hands repeatedly, quite uncertain of how to phrase the question good enough to make sense. "I'm not sure how to say it without it sounding completely stupid."

Maura laughed, "That's okay. Saying what's on your mind is best."

Jane turned over to face her, propping herself up on her arm. She looked into Maura's eyes and watched her for a few seconds before continuing.

"I know we've always slept in the same bed together for as long as I remember."

"Um hmm."

"But what makes you want to hold me at night?"

Maura nodded. She should have known that question would have come up eventually. She reached over and caressed Jane's hand. "Honestly, it's the countless times you or I have come close to losing our lives and losing each other." She said rolling onto her back and sighing. "Each time I came close to losing you, it made me want to hold you even closer."

"Really?"

Maura nodded quietly, "Yes, and..." She said glancing over at Jane. "One night a few weeks ago, I recall being awakened because you were experiencing a nightmare." She said softly, "You were in so much distress, I felt helpless. My attempts to wake you were unsuccessful, I didn't know what else to do."

"Oh wow," Jane sighed.

"I knew it would have been highly inappropriate to hold you while I was naked, but had to comfort you and let you know I was there. So, I reached out to you and took you into my arms." Maura sighed and her eyes shifted towards the ceiling as she replayed the memory in her mind.

"I don't even remember that."

"Well I do." She said, keeping her gaze fixed on the ceiling. "And when I held you, it felt so inexplicably good to me."

Jane just looked at her, not wanting to interrupt and risk missing anything.

"After you had calmed down and it was evident to me that you were not having a nightmare anymore, I really wanted to let you go, but I couldn't and I couldn't even explain why I didn't want to either."

Jane smiled and touched her hand. "I didn't know any of this. Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Maura shrugged and remained silent for a moment. "I decided that I would never say anything about what happened between us that night with hopes that my feelings on the matter would disappear."

"What?" Jane said, "Wait, what happened?"

Maura sighed and turned over away from Jane. Jane hated it when she brought stuff up and then attempted to avoid the subject.

"No never mind. I've said enough already."

"Actually, no you haven't. Tell me what happened that night?" Jane said. Her heart raced inside, contemplating the very thought of her body acting on her subconscious desires.

Maura exhaled deeply and cleared her throat.

Jane's mind quickly scanned back and deep into the many nooks and crannies of her mind to see if she could find anything remotely close to what Maura was alluding to. But she couldn't remember anything, only vague dreams that stuck with her.

Jane moved closer to her and wrapped her arm around her, pulling her in closer to her body. "Maura." She said leaning in and snuggling her face into the side of Maura's neck. She placed a soft peck on her skin. Maura sighed softly and reached back and cupped Jane's head as Jane placed a soft kiss after soft kiss on her shoulder.

"Tell me," she whispered into Maura's ear. Jane's heart drummed loudly in her chest while her hands caressed Maura's soft skin. Her fingertips grazed over Maura's prickled skin as she fought a sudden battle between wanting to know what Maura was talking about and wanting to just make love to her again. "What happened that night?"

Her tongue appeared and traced a thin line along Maura's shoulder, following up each inch traveled with a delicate and tender kiss. Maura's fingers clenched Jane's hair and pulled her closer as Jane brought her nails gently up her thigh.

"This," Maura exhaled heavily.

At first it didn't register with Jane what Maura had said, so she kept on kissing her softly, and then the awareness of Maura's words struck her like a freight train. The way that Maura was lazily strumming her fingers through her hair and the way she made those soft sighs each time Jane kissed her, made this moment seem all too familiar. Her body flashed with white heat as her mind began to spiral backwards to the time and place where this all began.

Jane pulled away slowly and pulled Maura onto her back. "This?"

Maura nodded.

Jane just stared into her eyes as her mind played back that particular night in question. Although extremely fuzzy, she remembered something. Jane thought this memory that she'd tucked away into the back of her mind was a dream. She'd dismissed it as a dream, never to be thought of again. But now the reality that it had really happen sunk in.

"Oh my god."

Maura chuckled and caressed Jane's face. "You had no recollection of it when I asked you about it the next day so I never brought it up again."

"So, what does that mean?" Jane said leaning back down beside her and moving closer.

"In my opinion, it means that we both have a mutual attraction for each other. Yours on a more subconscious level."

Jane nodded and reached and pulled Maura into her embrace. "So, I started all of this, huh?" She laughed.

Maura laughed and rested her head against Jane's shoulder. "I believe so, yes."

"But you continued it." She said reaching up and tickling her playfully.

"I guess I did."

Jane gasped, "What? You guessed? Mark this day in history!"

Maura chuckled and kissed Jane on the cheek. She sighed heavily weighing her options regarding continuing this conversation.

"Now may I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you have romantic feelings for me?"

Jane was surprised that Maura would ask such a clearly obvious question. She wondered why she would ask her something that she had more than likely already figured out. But then she thought about Maura, and the type of person she was. Sometimes things that seem very obvious may not be what you at first think it is.

"No, I don't."

Jane could feel the ripples go through Maura's body. Literally.

"Okay."

"I have more than just romantic feelings for you, Maur. I really do love and care about you too. Earlier when we made love, that was so beautiful to me. I felt so close to you. I still do."

"I do too."

"Honestly, I don't know what's going on. One minute, I'm headed on a date with this guy, and then next we are together like this."

"I know."

"And I don't believe that this is a coincidence that we are together like this. I mean, I was half asleep and making moves on you."

They both laughed. "But I do know how my heart feels about you. And when I was at my lowest and hurting the most, I couldn't think of being anywhere but here with you."

"Why is that?"

Jane sighed. "This is going to sound extremely sappy, but because when I'm with you and lying next to you, I feel nothing but good things. All the time. And I like that feeling."

"Aww, Jane."

"Told you. Sappy huh?"

"No that is very sweet."

Jane shook her head. "I have always wanted to show you how much you mean to me. I try in different ways, you know?"

Maura nodded.

"But this one particular way, in an intimate way, I had no idea of how to show you or even how begin to tell you that I had feelings for you."

"So, you kept it in?"

Jane nodded, "Yeah. I guess I did."

"Well I'm certainly glad that you decided to let me know."

"Me too."

Jane sighed and hugged her tighter. Maura smiled and relaxed into Jane's arms. After a few long minutes, she climbed on top of Jane and kissed her softly. Her body was again very eager to be with Jane and she wasn't afraid to let her know. She slipped her leg over Jane's and began to slowly grind herself against Jane's thigh.

Her gaze remained fixed on Jane's. A cute little smirk creased the side of Jane's mouth when she saw the look of pleasure crossing Maura's face.

"You know what I want more than anything right now?" Maura whispered to her.

"What's that?"

"I want more than anything -" Maura said dipping in and kissing her lightly on the lips.

"Yes?"

"I want to taste you on my lips." She smiled and gave her another light peck. "May I?"

Jane's heart nearly leaped out of her throat. She swallowed hard, attempting to move it back down into her chest. She nodded briskly, she couldn't even bring herself to speak.

"Good." Maura said smiling. "I really couldn't wait for my turn."

Jane laughed lightly and accepted a gentle kiss.

"And after I've finished making love to you, we can talk about where we want to go from here?"

Jane smiled. "I would really like that."