Welcome to the second chapter of this two shot.
This one takes place during Jade and Beck's seperation. Yes. I almost get annoyed by myself for writing so much about that period of time. I feel like I have already too many stories about that. But, well... This one sort of handed itself to me when I was halfway through writing the first part of this story.
Thank you to alicheriee, Invader Johnny, the Guest and sayyouwontletgo for the reviews!
Have fun reading!


Something isn't right. Something isn't right at all.

It was great at first. He also wasn't worried. It was just a joint, or rather a few, split between all of them. He smoked before. And not just once.

He was relaxed through it most of the time. Yeah, also somewhat panicky, but the rest of the guys just laughed about it and somehow it was also fine for him again.

But he's slightly sobering up now and... it just feels so damn heavy. Unlike the times he has smoked before. Yes, it always has felt heavy, but not as much as right now.

It's because of Jade, he knows it. He feels so terrible, because she isn't here as well. It's just them guys, Andre, Robbie, Rex and five others. In Andre's parents house, while his parents are gone for a trip.

But Jade should be here, too. The first time he smoked weed was with her. And every time since then was as well. And now, he's here without her?

Before he knows it, Beck finds himself in the bathroom, calling Jade.

It takes ages for her to pick up and when she does, she sounds irritated: "What?"

He furrows his brow, distracted from his own feelings. "Are you angry, Jade?"

Jade doesn't answer his question, but totally does sound angry, as she harshly asks: "Why are you calling?"

Right. "I'm hanging out with Andre and Robbie and... what are their names?" He tries to remember. God. They are classmates of his. But what does he care? He doesn't consider them friends. So, he doesn't care. About their names. Or them, to be honest.

He still tries to think of their names, but Jade harshly interrupts that process: "Get to the point."

He does: "We are smoking pot. I wondered if you want to come, too."

For a few seconds or for ages, it's silent on the other end, then: "You are stoned?"

She sounds weird. Thoughtful. Disappointed? She should be. "I am. I'm sorry."

"I don't care," Jade promptly claims.

"But we promised to always get stoned together."

"We didn't," Jade says.

They did, didn't they? There is a promise between them around smoking weed. What else could it be? "What did we promise?"

Again, Jade is silent at first, then: "Nothing. And you do remember we broke up, right?"

They did, didn't they? They were fighting and then she left and everything was over. But why? It makes no sense. "Why?"

Jade sounds bewildered and angry again: "Why? I..." But she stops, seems to overthink it, then: "Is there still pot left?"

"No," Beck answers, but he wants Jade to come because they promised something, and if she comes she wants to smoke some too, so he quickly adds: "But I bet we can get some more if you want to come." And actually: "I think I should also smoke more. I think I start to sober up."

And that feels so damn heavy. He doesn't want to feel like that. He doesn't want to be back to normal. It hurts.

"Are you at Andre's?" Jade checks.

Well, he hasn't told her that just now, has he? He has only said he's hanging out with the guys. But... this is so her. Of course she knows. "How do you always know everything?"

Jade doesn't answer his question, instead: "Try to not speak too much. Don't say you called me. When I show up, just agree to everything I say."

And with that, Jade hangs up, leaving Beck quite happy. She will come for him.

.

.

Jade is incredibly angry. How does he dare call her of all people? How does he dare act like they are all fine? How does he dare aks "why" after her reminding him of their break-up?

She isn't sure if he asked because he doesn't see anything wrong with calling her in a situation like this despite the break-up, or if he asked why they broke up. It irks her either way. They are already broken up for four months now after all.

She doesn't feel at all like seeing him. Now more than she would've before their phone call. But... She did sort of promise him something. She did promise to babysit him in situations like these. She shouldn't feel obligated to that sort of promise anymore, after they are broken up. It's his own fault anyway for smoking weed. He knows himself what it does to him.

He always gets weirdly serious sobering up. He described it to her as a heavy feeling one time, something that almost forces him to just tell about his real feelings. He has one time almost started with their friends around, almost told them, but she has taken him away from them. Which he has thanked her for afterwards, because he also doesn't feel the need to tell everyone about all his feelings. Espcially possibly in an exaggarated form or also confessing how often he actually makes a little fun of their friends with Jade or alike. They don't need to know absolutely everything.

Maybe, she should just let Beck run with it now. There is a good possibility of him also sharing details of their relationship then, but what does she care? She may be private, but she also doesn't care when people talk about her. She can still kill Beck afterwards if he would share something too private – and naturally threaten all the other guys with him to not tell anyone else, which they then never would dare to do.

It's his own fault in any case. He probably didn't guess someone would bring weed when he talked to Andre about meeting up with some of the guys at Andre's in school, which Jade overheard. Andre and Roy finished up their semester music project and therefore invited the guys for a small party at this school night. Which is idiotic enough, but of course someone also had to bring drugs. Beck still could have said no to it when someone pulled the joint out.

But that's so Beck. Just going with it.

Well, and she did promise. She knows how horrified he would be if he would wake up tomorrow and realize all the things he shared. He may deserve it, but... anyway.

She takes her mother's car and drives up to Andre's.

.

.

Maybe, he should tell Andre about Jade. Andre is a good friend. He's sorry that he doesn't tell him everything.

No, it's not like he has real secrets. He prides himself on not having any. But... It's also not like he talks about his feelings all that much if he can help it. Those are also sometimes even a secret to him, so it's not like he's keeping them secret from other people, but they are keeping themselves secret from him. They are only surprisingly clear every time, he's stoned.

Maybe, he should talk about that with Andre. Andre is a great friend and always talks to him about everything, too.

The same goes for Robbie, actually. He probably should tell both of them and not even care about the other guys there as well. He should thank them for being amazing friends and apologize for not being a good enough friend to them, though he always tries so hard, wants to be a good person, wants to please everyone. He should tell them that he isn't sharing as much as he possibly should as a good friend.

He should thank them now, because soon enough, he will close up again, disconnected to his own feelings, the weight of the world back on his shoulders. He knows that his sober self doesn't want him to do this. To talk about his feelings. He knows his sober self will be embarrassed. But... damn. He should tell, shouldn't he? With the weight of the world coming back to him so heavily...

Jade never understood what he meant with that, didn't get that feeling sobering up. But Andre and Robbie can possibly feel it now, too. And maybe, it would feel easier for them to carry it, if he tells them how much they mean to him.

But now he's thinking about Jade again. Jade who told him not to speak too much. He doesn't want to disappoint her. He can't disappoint her. He already did that way too often, already hurt her way too much.

He gets drawn out of his endless thoughts that seem to exist out of time and space, when the doorbell rings.

Andre goes to open it and Beck can hear the all familiar voice, as soon as Andre has opened the door: "Where is Beck?"

"Uhm," Andre starts and then, because he isn't just going to rat out Beck, being the good friend he is: "What are you doing here?"

But Jade already charges past him into the living room, where all of them are sitting, saying: "Searching for that stupid idiot."

Okay, she obviously didn't come to smoke weed with them. Not that anything is left, but anyway... Beck also does know better; does know why she's here.

He looks to her confused anyway, because of her sudden entrance, as she stops in front of him and says: "You said you would finally give me back the rest of my stuff. But no, you are here, doing whatever."

He may know why she's here, but he's distracted from that now. She seems seriously angry and... did he really forget to meet her or something?

He doesn't remember saying he would give her the rest of her stuff back. He totally still has some of her things in his RV. She has taken most of it right after their break-up, but he stumbles over more of her things all the time.

He doesn't know if she knows. He actually is sure they haven't talked about it and she never asked for the stuff back. And he is sure to have called her at home a few minutes ago, though that feels like ages ago – she also hasn't accused him of something alike during all that.

"I'm sorry, Jade," he says anyway, because he is sorry for whatever Jade is angry about. He might think she isn't angry because of him not being there to give her her stuff back, but she is angry for something.

And his mind finally catches up. He has realized after they talked on the phone that Jade indeed did promise him something. At least in a way. She will have taken it that way. That she promised him to never let him embarrass himself after smoking weed. And because she's perfect and wonderful, she now actually came, to keep her promise. That's also why she told him not to talk too much.

He has known she would come after his realization after the phone call. He now understands that she even has a story ready to protect him even more. She knows he doesn't really want anyone to know he gets weird when he sobers up from drugs. So, she now not only keeps him from showing his weird side, but even acts like he doesn't have that weird side at all and pretends that there is a totally other reason why she's here and dragging him out.

"Get out and in my car," she demands and he promptly stands up to obey.

Andre quickly steps in between. "Whoa. Is this really necessary? Can't he give it back to you tomorrow?"

Jade pulls a pair of scissors out of nowhere and holds it threateningly into Andre's direction which makes him quickly step back. Then, she grabs Beck's arm with her free hand, pulls him past her and then pushes him further, as she says to Andre: "Shut up or I'll make you." And then directed at Beck: "Get in my car. I will destroy your RV if you don't come with me right now."

Beck isn't afraid and not just because he's still stoned. He never is afraid of Jade.

He still leaves as told, with Jade following him, and quickly sits down on the passenger's seat of her mother's car.

She also gets in and starts the car without further ado. They don't talk while she gets out of the drive-way onto the street, but then he has to ask her, carefully: "Was I really supposed to give you the rest of your stuff back?"

He just wants to make sure. Not that he has somehow forgotten and she is angry at him because of that. Though he's pretty sure she just pretends they agreed on that for him to be able to leave Andre's place. He would've known not to ask if he was completly sober by now.

"No, idiot. Now don't talk to me anymore."

He's glad that that means he is allowed to keep the rest of her stuff. He loves having it around.

He doesn't say so, because Jade just told him to not talk to her anymore. Instead, he closes his eyes. He feels so tired and so damn comfortable. He breathes in Jade's scent and knows he hasn't felt safer in ages. But right now, everything is great and perfect and nothing can hurt him.

.

He's almost asleep, when Jade pulls the car into his parents' driveway. Jade has barely stopped the car, when she already commands: "Get out."

"I'm so exhausted," he says though. And he would love to just keep being in this car, with Jade, driving through the night.

"Get out!" Jade repeats herself, but now she's opening her door as well. She gets out herself, while he still isn't moving, walks around the car and then also pulls his door open violently, before she says again: "Get out!"

Now, he does get out and Jade grabs him by his arm again and drags him to the RV. He unlocks the door himself and is somehow happy when Jade still doesn't let go of his arm while she pushes him inside.

He gets distracted though by his phone making a sound in his pocket. He pulls it out while Jade suddenly pushes him to the bed, finally letting go off him.

But now, he's into his phone, as he falls down on the bed. The alert has been a text he has gotten by Andre, asking him if he should call the ambulance or the cops in case, Jade and Beck have gotten into a fight again and it escalated or something.

Beck knows it isn't meant totally serious. Andre is good guy. And a good friend.

"I should call Andre and tell him that you only came because I called you," he says. "He is a good friend, you know." And he deserves the truth.

"I know," Jade easily answers, but before Beck can even get close to pushing the button to call Andre, Jade takes the phone of his hands. "And I'll take that."

To keep him from embarrassing himself. Because even after everything that happened between them, she protects him.

"You are an even better friend though," he says and out of the depth of his heart: "I miss you so much."

Jade doesn't even look him in the eye, instead she now grabs the remote control for the TV, while she says: "Shut up."

"No, it's true, Jade," he says, because it is. He hasn't realized until now how damn much he misses her. "I miss you every second of my life. I miss you talking to me and you lying in my arms and you..."

He doesn't get any further.

"Seriously, shut up!" Jade harshly interrupts. Okay, he should shut up if Jade says it like that.

She has turned the TV on by now, flips through a few channels, until she finds something she deems watchable, then she puts the remote control away again. "Stay. Watch. Sleep."

Of course, she finds him something to do, while he still feels this way. So it's even more improbable that he wanders off or turns on his laptop to contact anyone through that. Of course, she takes care of him in this way.

He feels like he looks at her for ages, while she puts the remote control away. Like he has so much time to see and appreciate how perfect Jade truly is. That she is here and even protects him now and just... god.

"Life is so hard without you, Jade," he confesses. "I feel so lost."

Jade only glances at him for a second, then: "I'm leaving now. Don't follow me. Just stay here."

"Okay," he answers because he knows that she knows what's best for him. So he will do what she says.

While she leaves, he spreads out on his bed and takes a deep breath. Then, he notices the pillow in the corner of his bed. Jade's pillow that she hasn't taken with her when she got her stuff, that both of them forgot to be hers at first. He has realized by now that it isn't actually his.

He takes it now and curls up around it, hugging it, taking another deep breath, wishing there would still be some of Jade's scent in it.

.

.

.

He feels mortified when he wakes up the next morning. He is glad his alarm (for which he luckily has a seperate clock, which isn't just on his phone which Jade has seriously taken with her) wakes him at all. It's a school day after all.

God, and what idiot brings joints to a small party on a school night? Well... What idiot agrees to smoke them?

But a more pressing question haunts him as soon as he wakes up: What did he do? He wishes he remembers falsely, but he knows he doesn't. He really, really is an idiot.

He immediately sees Jade as soon as he walks into school. She also can only just have arrived, earlier than usual. Maybe, to set him straight, to scream a little at him. He would deserve it.

He knows he has to talk to her sooner or later. She still has his phone. Hopefully. Maybe, she also threw it away or destroyed it or something. Damn.

Well. But he also wants to speak to her a little bit. He's scared like hell, but... It's not like he lied when he told her he missed her or that he feels lost without her. He just didn't say the whole truth, which is that he also still loves her. He doesn't know if he should say that, but...

She was there. Jade came to his rescue like always. Is that only because she's a good friend to those she deems worth to be her friends and because still keeps close what they had, or is that because she also still loves him? Wasn't she able to look into his eyes when he told her how lost he truly feels without her, because she feels the same, but didn't want to talk to him about it while he was stoned?

If they both miss each other, if they both feel lost without each other, if they still love each other after four months apart... shouldn't they try to fix their relationship then? To fix themselves and each other?

Even before he opens his locker, he sees that his phone is actually in it. Of course. Jade knows the combination to open it. He has never told her, but she watched him opening it once and has known since then and used it occasionally for the weirdest stuff. Anyway...

He now takes his phone out as he decides to directly talk to her. Yeah, he's scared but better doing it directly than still thinking about it during his next few classes.

He closes his locker again, his phone in hand, and walks through the hall to her.

She notices him walking up, but only glances to him, before she looks back into her own locker.

"Thanks," he says, shortly showing his phone though he doesn't only say thanks for her giving that back to him. There is so much more that he is tankful for to her for last night.

"Don't talk about it," she says.

Well, but they should talk about it, right? There is at least one thing he has to say: "I'm sorry."

For just calling her, for having her protect him again, for saying those things to her while he was stoned, when he is barely ever able to say that stuff while he 's sober. It was all fine when they were a couple, it isn't anymore.

She claps the door of her locker shut, cocking an eyebrows at him: "What did I just say?"

And with that, she leaves, seeming angry again. Not that he can blame her. He is an idiot.

Though... He leans against the locker next to hers. If she doesn't want to talk about it at all... If she doesn't care to hear him talk about why he said what he said... That means she doesn't love him, does it? She would've reacted differently otherwise, wouldn't she have? Shouldn't she have?

And suddenly, he feels so heavy like every time when he's sobering up. Just that this time he can't hope for it to go away soon, when he's completely sober again.

.

.

She doesn't want to hear any of it. She doesn't want him to apologize and tell her that he didn't mean it. That he doesn't miss her in that sense, doesn't love her though maybe that was implied.

She knows it's not like he can only speak the truth while he's stoned. Instead, he is weirdly taken by her whenever it occurs. But he also hasn't said the truth about his parents the first time for example. He gets hung up on small things and then projects a seriousness onto them that's unneccessary.

But even if he spoke the truth about missing her... and yes, she felt like it was true and like him still loving her was also somehow there... She does think sometimes, he still loves her. But what does that help?

Maybe, he has only noticed he still loved her while he was stoned. It's not like he's very attentive to his own feelings. Maybe, being stoned has made some things clear to him. But that still doesn't mean he wants to be with her again. And she definitely won't stand him telling her that he does miss and love her but that he still doesn't want to be together ever again.

She has given him that easy way out four months ago, leaving Tori's house herself and counting down for him to follow or not, to avoid exactly that kind of talk. He has definitely loved her back then, and still, he was annoyed by their relationship and wasn't happy by it anymore. She didn't want to hear that, didn't want to hear him apologize and say that he feels just as bad about it.

She also doesn't want to hear it now. She thinks that they could make it work again. She is even sure about it. Yes, they would need to talk, but she could only stand that if they are both sure that they want to do everything to stay together, that they actually will stay together, without the danger of him deciding he doesn't want to do that anymore. If she starts talking to him now, she probably will get hurt.

But... well... While she sits in her next class, she wonders if maybe she is unfair by not letting him talk about it at all. He definitely wanted to say more than thanks and sorry earlier. Maybe, he does feel the same as she does.

On the other hand... she really can't ask him what he thinks when she has to be afraid of him saying he doesn't want to go there with her anymore. She doesn't want to hear him say it.

Maybe though, there is another possibility. She gave him a way out where they didn't have to talk about it. She can also give him a way back in. And if he takes it, they can still talk about everything, in private, both of them very much sober, without her having to be afraid of hearing things she doesn't ever want to hear him say.

So, a week later she performs at the Full Moon Jam. When he tells her he missed her afterwards, fully concious, she doesn't tell him to shut up. She asks him what he's going to do about it. When their lips finally meet again, she knows, it's not just her that's totally relieved.