December
"I swear! I'm not kidding!" Troy was saying while everyone laughed. "It's his ringtone now!"
"What were the lyrics again?" Britta asked.
"'Dean, I wish I was your lover'!"
Everyone but Jeff was laughing. The Dean could be endearing sometimes, and Jeff could deal with him up to a point, but this was one of those things he wished he didn't know. "Alright. Another subject, please. Anybody?"
The group had once again managed to force themselves into one of the booths in the Greendale cafeteria despite the fact that they clearly were not meant to fit a group of seven. Jeff was squished between Annie and Pierce on one side, Shirley, Abed, and Troy sat across from them with Britta in a chair at the head of the table.
"Well," Shirley began. "My friend Gary sent me a nice letter from Finland…"
"Boo!" Everyone called out.
Shirley crossed her arms over her purse with a huff, "Fine, then. Someone else say something."
Jeff's phone buzzed loudly against table. He glanced down, intending to ignore the call, but he did a double take when he saw the number. It was Tyler's school. "Huh. I gotta take this," He said, extracting himself from the booth.
Jeff waited until he was a few paces away before raising the phone to his ear, "Hello?"
"Hello, is this Mr. Winger?" A female voice asked.
"It is."
"Hi. I'm calling in regards to your son, Tyler," The woman said.
"What about him?"
Her response made Jeff come to a halt mid-step. "He did what?" The woman repeated herself, and Jeff set his jaw. "I understand." He said stiffly. "I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Right this way." The secretary said, opening the office door for Jeff.
The door swung inward, revealing a stern looking woman sitting behind a desk. In front of her were two straight-backed wooden chairs, one of which was currently occupied by his son.
Jeff stepped into the room and the woman behind the desk stood up and extended her hand to Jeff, "Hello Mr. Winger. I'm Pat Martin, Tyler's principal."
Jeff stepped forward and took her hand without speaking. Instead he gave her stiff nod.
"Please, sit down." She said, gesturing to the unoccupied chair next to Tyler.
As Jeff took his seat, the secretary closed the door behind them with a soft click. He looked over at his son next to him. Tyler was sitting with his hands in his lap and his head bowed, his bottom lip between his teeth.
"I believe you've been informed as to why you're here." Ms. Martin said, pulling Jeff's attention back to her.
"I got the gist of it. But I don't have the details. What happened?"
"Apparently there's been some bullying occurring that we were unaware of."
Jeff glanced back over at Tyler. "Who was bullying who?" He asked Ms. Martin.
"It seems that when some of the children got wind of Tyler's…" She cleared her throat once, "Familial situation, they started teasing him."
Jeff turned back to the principal, shocked.
"We're taking care of it." She assured him. "I've spoken to the kids and their parents. We'll be keeping a close eye on the situation to make sure that it doesn't happen again. Given the circumstances, we're going to be lenient with Tyler this time. But fighting is unacceptable behavior."
"I agree," Jeff said. Beside him, Tyler peered at Jeff out of the corner of his eye, head still bowed. "I'm sorry that this happened. He's not usually like this."
"I'm aware. Other than this slip up, Tyler has been a model student. We're very happy to have him here," Ms. Martin said kindly. "However, we have a Zero Tolerance policy at this school, so unfortunately we can't let him off with just a warning. He's been given two days of In School Suspension as punishment, along with the other students involved in the incident."
"I understand," Jeff responded.
"That's basically it," She said, getting to her feet. "Let us know if you have any questions." She extended her hand to Jeff again.
He took it briefly before turning to Tyler, who still hadn't moved from his spot in the chair. "Let's go."
Tyler slowly got to his feet, scooping his backpack off the floor, and followed Jeff out of the office in silence.
Neither one of them spoke on the walk back to the car. They got into the car, but Jeff didn't turn it on. After a couple minutes, Jeff finally broke the silence. "How long have they been teasing you?"
Tyler didn't answer. He sat in the backseat and stared determinedly out the window.
"Why didn't you tell me you were being bullied? I could have talked to the school. This could have been resolved without you punching someone."
Tyler looked at Jeff then, meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror. "They deserved it."
Jeff turned around in his seat to look at him, "You can't just hit people, Tyler. That's not how you deal with stuff like this."
"You don't understand!" Tyler shouted.
"I understand better than you think. I was bullied, too."
"That's not what I meant," Tyler muttered, turning away from Jeff again.
"Then explain what you meant." When Tyler didn't answer, Jeff took a steadying breath and tried again, "You have to talk to me. I can't understand if you don't talk to me."
"You aren't adopted. You have a family," Tyler said bitterly.
Jeff felt his breath catch in his throat. He turned around and faced the steering wheel, "You have a family, too." He reached up and turned the key in the ignition, starting the car, but he didn't take it out of park. "I want to understand," He said finally. "And I want to be sympathetic, but that doesn't change the fact that how you responded was wrong. You're grounded until further notice."
"Whatever," Tyler grumbled from the backseat.
Jeff pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. The sounds of life outside the car were startlingly loud compared to the utter quiet inside of it.
"We're not going to Shirley's?" Tyler asked a few minutes into the drive, looking out the window.
"No. You're coming to school with me."
"Why?"
"Seeing Jordan and Elijah would be fun. Being grounded is not fun."
Tyler huffed loudly and crossed his arms.
Tyler walked ahead of Jeff through the halls as they headed for study room F. He was trying very hard to not associate with Jeff in the slightest.
"Hey, short stuff!" Britta greeted cheerfully as they came through the door.
"Hey, Britta!" Tyler answered with a smile. Clearly it was only Jeff he was mad at.
Tyler immediately went to go pull up a chair between Troy and Abed but Jeff shook his head at him, "Nope." He snapped his fingers and pointed at the empty chair beside him, "With me."
Tyler didn't move. He glared at Jeff from across the table. "I want to sit here."
"You're being punished, remember? You don't get to do what you want."
"You're such a jerk!" Tyler shouted.
A collective gasp went around the table and everyone averted their eyes uncomfortably. They'd never seen Jeff and Tyler fight before.
"Tyler!" Jeff warned, trying to bring his son under control.
"Take me back to the group home!" Tyler shouted. "I don't want to live with you anymore!"
"Okay, you need to calm down," Jeff said, taking a step towards him, "We can discuss this later. Somewhere not here."
"You can't tell me what to do."
"Yes, I can. That's kinda my job description."
"You are not my dad!" Tyler yelled before whipping around and running from the room, disappearing down the hall.
Jeff was frozen where he stood. He felt like he'd just been sucker-punched in the stomach. All the air had left his lungs and it felt like days had passed before he remembered how to inhale.
"Jeff?"
Shirley's concerned voice brought him back to reality. He blinked his eyes back into focus and forcibly unlocked his frozen joints, taking two hesitant steps forward before going after Tyler.
Jeff strode quickly through the library, peering around every bookcase and looking into every study room. Tyler was nowhere to be found. "Tyler?" He called quietly as he searched, that panicked feeling he remembered from Halloween slowly overtaking him. "Tyler?"
Jeff was standing there at a loss of where to look next when a loud beeping erupted from the loudspeakers. His eyes snapped to the flashing lights that lined the hallway and he felt all the blood drain from his face. The fire alarm was going off.
He was quickly swept up in the crowd as students rushed past him, heading for the exits. Jeff pushed against them, urgently searching the mass of bodies for his son. He tried calling for him, but his voice was lost in din.
All hope of keeping what was left of his cool went out the window when the acrid smell of smoke hit his lungs. "Tyler!" The absolute panic in his voice made a few passersby turn their heads, but he couldn't care less. Jeff kept up his frantic search until smoke began to fill the library. He held the collar of his shirt over his nose and mouth and turned to head for the exit, thinking that Tyler must have gone outside with everyone else, but stopped short when he heard Tyler's voice call out to him. He turned to find Tyler staring at him from down a smoke-filled hallway, eyes wide with fear, hands pressed against the window of the closed door that separated him from Jeff.
"Jeff!" Tyler cried, banging his fist against the glass.
Jeff sprinted towards him, stumbling over his feet in his haste. He grabbed the handle and tried to force it open. It was jammed. "Stand back!" Jeff shouted at Tyler through the glass.
Jeff took two steps back and slammed his foot into the door, trying to kick it in. He reared back to do it again when gloved hands grabbed him and pulled him away. He twisted out of their grip and turned to see a fully suited firefighter. Jeff tried to get back to the door but the man stopped him again. "Move!" Jeff bellowed, but the man wouldn't let go.
"Sir, you have to leave." The man ordered through his mask, attempting to drag him away but Jeff fought back.
"My son is in there!" Jeff pointed at the door where Tyler's pale face was visible through the window.
The man glanced over his shoulder. Two more people in proximity suits had just shown up. They began trying to pry the door open. "We'll get him. You need to go."
"I don't think so." Jeff again tried to fight past the man, but another fireman appeared at his side. They both held on tight and forced him down the hall, away from where Tyler was trapped. Jeff fought against them, but he couldn't seem to overpower them.
"Dad!" Tyler screamed as Jeff was propelled down the hall, watching helplessly as they repeatedly tried to force the door open. They shoved him out onto the sidewalk outside of the library, only letting him go when someone else grabbed him and held him back.
People were shouting his name, but they sounded far away. He watched the two firefighters rush back into the library, smoke billowing through the open doors. He opened his mouth to shout after them but choked when he inhaled, his lungs trying to rid themselves of all the smoke he had breathed in. He doubled over, coughing violently.
"Jeff!" The voices were shouting again. The voices belonged to his friends. They were gathered around him, watching him hack up his lungs. They kept asking him questions, but he couldn't hear them. He couldn't have answered anyway. His lungs were too busy trying to remember how to function.
"Where's Tyler?" Jeff finally heard Annie ask him.
"Still inside." He managed to rasp, raising his eyes to focus on the open door. They all went quiet then. The only sound emanating from their group was Jeff's wheezing. An EMT approached them and forced an oxygen mask over Jeff's nose and mouth. She tried to get him to come with her to the nearest ambulance for further treatment but he refused. He wasn't going anywhere.
The longest seconds in the world ticked by as they watched the entrance to the library. Finally, movement stirred the smoke that clogged the doorway. Out came two firefighters, Tyler's limp body stretched between them. They loaded him onto a stretcher they had waiting by the door. EMTs rushed over and began wheeling him towards an ambulance, checking his vitals as they moved.
Jeff shoved the mask off his face and stumbled over to the gurney. "Is he okay?" He asked breathlessly, his voice cracking as he looked down at his unconscious son. His face was dirty, covered in soot.
"Who are you?" One of the men asked, reaching out to put his hand against Jeff's chest to hold him back.
Jeff shoved his hand away, "I'm his father! Is he okay?"
"Come with us." The man hadn't answered Jeff's question.
Jeff did as he was told and climbed into back of the ambulance. He watched in helpless stupor as they strapped an oxygen mask to Tyler's face and prepared to insert an IV into his arm. They shined a light into both of his eyes. Unresponsive was the word they used. Jeff felt like he'd been submerged in ice water.
Arrival at the hospital was hectic. Jeff was in a blur. He followed the stretcher into the hospital, running alongside the nurses, trying to understand what was happening. It was like no one was speaking English.
As they approached a set of double doors, someone stopped him. He wasn't allowed to go through. He stood and watched them disappear from sight, the doors swinging shut, barring him from his son and anyone who could tell him what was going on.
He stared unseeingly at the Do Not Enter signs, absolutely numb, until suddenly he wasn't. He looked down at his hands, dirty with black soot from the smoke, and tried to breathe past the hitch in his chest. He wasn't feeling one thing; he was feeling everything.
He turned weakly from the sight of the doors and reached into his pocket for his phone. He dialed the number with trembling fingers and slowly raised the phone to his ear.
"Well, hello there!" The voice said, her obliviously cheerful tone juxtaposing morbidly with Jeff's surroundings. "How funny that you called! I was just thinking about you boys. When are you coming to visit?"
Jeff took a deep breath, trying to control the tremor in his voice, "Mom?"
Jeff sat forward in his chair, his forearms resting against his thighs, palms pressed flat together, head bowed, eyes closed. He breathed in and out slowly, deliberately. He couldn't remember not sitting like this. People had stopped trying to talk to him a long time ago. His friends had found him like this. They'd showed up as a group and naturally filled in the empty waiting room seats around him, claiming an entire corner of the room as their own. They'd tried to ask him about what he knew, and he very much wanted to answer them but he couldn't. If he moved from this spot, if he for one second stopped counting his breaths, he would break. He would fall apart and that wasn't something he knew how to do. So he made himself a living statue and tried to make his lungs breathe for Tyler, too.
Time didn't seem to be passing at all, but it must have been. It had to have been. Life wasn't cruel enough to leave him in limbo forever. He was concentrating so hard on the sound of the air moving in and out of his lungs that he didn't hear his name being called. It wasn't until Shirley gently nudged his arm that he became aware of anything around him.
"Jeff, it's the doctor," She whispered to him.
"Mr. Winger?" An unfamiliar voice called out.
Jeff's head snapped up, eyes falling on the man in a long white lab coat who had spoken to him. It was clear from his expression that this wasn't the first time he'd said his name. Jeff shot to his feet, taking half a step forward before speaking, "Yes?" His voice sounded as strained as he felt.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Mercer. I'm the physician in charge of Tyler's case."
"How is he?" Jeff asked, not the least bit interested in pleasantries.
Dr. Mercer pressed his lips into a thin line before answering. "We've got him stabilized. No burns. Sometimes with smoke inhalation there's burning around the nose or mouth, but he seems fine in that respect. We performed a chest x-ray and found no significant damage to the lungs or throat, no fluid in the lungs, which is great." The doctor looked down at his clipboard as he continued, "He's still experiencing some bronchospasms, which is a constriction of the air passages similar to an asthma attack. So, we've given him some medication for that. He's being kept on oxygen to help him breathe."
Jeff had just begun to let himself feel hopeful when the doctor looked back up at him with serious eyes, "However, I do have to inform you that he is still unconscious. With structure fires, we automatically assume that there's some degree of carbon monoxide or cyanide poisoning due to the chemical makeup of the smoke. As a precaution, treatment for both of these was administered intravenously during transport to the hospital. We're waiting for the results of a blood test that will tell us if he was exposed to either toxin. I must warn you that it is very likely that he was, since he's still comatose, but we can't be sure at what levels he was exposed to them until we get those results back. At this moment, he's being prepped for a CT scan. That will help us understand why he isn't waking up."
Jeff's heart was a lead weight in his chest. Dr. Mercer, paused and gripped his clipboard with both hands, studying Jeff's face before speaking. "I'm sorry. I know it isn't the best news, but exposure to these toxins is survivable, especially in small amounts. Tyler is young and healthy and is being given the best treatment we can offer… I'll keep you updated on his condition as it progresses. Let one of the nurses know if you have any questions."
The doctor turned and walked away down the hall. Jeff didn't watch him go. He didn't want to move. He wanted to be a statue again. But it was too late. The spell had been broken. He knew he'd been right to keep himself from thinking, from feeling, because this hurt. It was worse than he could have imagined. His shoulders hunched forward instinctively, flinching from the pain, but there was nothing he could do to avoid it. There was nothing he could do.
He forced himself upright and his eyes found a figure jogging towards him from across the room. It was his mom. It had been decades since he'd wanted his mother's comfort, but suddenly it was like he was ten years old again. He was a drowning man and she was a life preserver. As soon as her arms were around his shoulders, he fell apart. He tasted salt as tears ran down his face and into his mouth.
"I can't do this," He choked out, his head pressed against her shoulder. "I can't."
"Yes, you can," Doreen whispered, running her fingers through the back of Jeff's hair, trying to calm him.
"I can't. I don't know how. How do you care this much and not die? I feel like I'm dying." He desperately tried to remember his life before. Before Greendale. Before having friends. Before Tyler. He tried to remember what not caring had felt like and he couldn't do it. All he could do was continue to crumble to pieces in his mother's arms. "We had a fight. He got in trouble at school and we had a fight. It can't end like that. He can't…"
"Shh," Doreen soothed. "It's going to be fine."
"He called me dad. When he was trapped. He's never called me that before…" Jeff sobbed. Doreen had nothing to say to that. She just continued to shush him and run her fingers through his hair while he cried himself dry.
Jeff had somehow managed to fall asleep, his head resting lightly against Annie's shoulder. He couldn't have been asleep long, though, because he still felt exhausted when he had been shaken awake. He sat up groggily and rubbed his swollen eyes with the heels of his hands. He looked over at Annie who was pointing down the hallway. Jeff followed her finger and immediately jumped to his feet. Dr. Mercer was making his way towards them. Everyone copied him, standing up as Jeff stepped forward to meet the doctor.
"Good news. Tyler is starting to wake up." A collective cheer sounded from the group behind them. "He's going in and out of consciousness right now, which is normal, but he should be absolutely fine. His CT scan was clear. Blood tests did show that he had inhaled some amount of carbon monoxide and cyanide, but not enough to do any lasting damage. He's getting oxygen therapy now to help his body breakdown what's left of the poisons. He'll need to stay a few nights for observation, but provided that he's fully conscious and feels well enough, he can go home as soon as Saturday."
Jeff couldn't believe it. It was like he'd been pumped full of helium. It was like someone had taken the weight of the world off his shoulders. "Can we see him?" Doreen asked from behind him.
"He's being moved to a room in the PICU as we speak." The doctor said with a smile, but then amended, "The process of waking up can take some time. He'll probably be a little disoriented. So, for now, maybe just the father? Once he's completely awake he can have as many visitors as he'd like."
Jeff nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. Tyler was fine.
"Follow me," Dr. Mercer said.
Jeff shot the group gathered behind him an astonished smile, the first smile that had touched his lips since that morning in the cafeteria, before loping after the doctor.
He entered Tyler's room quietly and moved to his bedside, pulling up a chair and taking a seat. Tyler's eyes were closed and his chest moved up and down rhythmically. He had an oxygen mask still strapped over his nose and mouth and a heart monitor clipped to his pointer finger. His hair was a mess and he looked pale, but otherwise he seemed unharmed. He looked like he could be napping. Jeff reached out and gently took Tyler's hand in his, running his thumb back and forth in a soothing arc.
He studied Tyler's face for a moment before dropping his head to the bed, resting his forehead against the mattress. He was spent. Today had been a rollercoaster that he never wanted to ride again. But his exhaustion could do nothing to hold back the wave a pure relief that had crashed over him. There was no way to express this feeling.
The sheets on the bed rustled and Tyler's hand twitched. Jeff raised his head and found Tyler's eyes open and meeting his. "Dad?"
Jeff let out a breath of a laugh and smiled. "I'm here." He said, his voice coming out as a whisper. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and tried again, "I'm here."
"Where am I?" Tyler asked. His voice was rough and muffled. He winced a little as he spoke.
"You're in the hospital. There was a fire, remember? You breathed in too much smoke, so we had to bring you here. But you're fine now."
Tyler shifted so that he was higher up on his pillows and studied Jeff carefully before speaking again. "You were crying," He noted, reaching out and touching Jeff's red-rimmed eyes.
Jeff nodded, "I was. I didn't know if you were going to be okay. I was scared."
"Like Halloween?"
Jeff laughed. "So much worse than Halloween."
Tyler watched him silently again. He went to remove his oxygen mask but Jeff reached out to stop him, "Don't take it off. You need that to help you breathe."
Tyler ignored him and shoved it down around his neck anyway. He looked up at Jeff earnestly, "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. I'm the one who's supposed to be worrying about you." Jeff said, leaning forward to try to force Tyler's mask back on, but Tyler moved away and shook his head.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you."
Jeff moved back so that he could see Tyler clearly. The boy's eyes were sad and worried.
"I'm sorry I yelled. I didn't mean what I said. You're not going to send me away, are you?"
Jeff leaned over the bed and pressed his lips to Tyler's forehead. "Never," He said into his messy, blond hair. "I'm your dad. You're stuck with me."
When he sat back down, Tyler was smiling. "Now for the love of God will you please put your mask back on?" He said reaching over and adjusting mask so that it was in its proper place. "Good thing we're in a hospital because you're going to give me a heart attack."
Tyler giggled. Behind his oxygen mask he was flashing Jeff that bright, heart-melting smile.
Jeff stood beneath a white and blue floral archway, facing the chalkboard. The study room had been redecorated to look like a wedding venue, complete with bride and groom's side seating: Annie and Dean Pelton's doing. They were throwing him an elaborate graduation party, and for once he was actually okay with it. He had, after all, requested it.
Jeff checked his watch and sighed. "Can I turn around now?" He asked.
"Not yet," Abed answered.
Jeff drummed his fingers against his leg impatiently. He'd been asked to get here early. When he'd arrived, he'd been met by Abed who instructed him to stand facing the wall with no explanation. "Abed, as fascinating as this chalkboard is, I'd really like to not be staring at it anymore. I've been standing here for fifteen minutes."
"They're almost here."
"Who is?"
When Abed didn't answer he sighed again. This was getting tedious. A few moments later he could hear tiptoed footsteps and hushed voices approaching from the doorway to his right.
"Alright, turn around!" Annie's excited voice called from behind him.
Jeff turned around to find Annie, Shirley, Britta, Troy, and Abed gathered together in a clump, all beaming. In front of the group stood Tyler wearing a brand-new suit and tie that matched the party's color theme perfectly. It was adorable.
"What's this?" Jeff asked, a grin spreading across his face.
"We took him shopping and bought him a suit," Britta explained.
"As a graduation present for you!" Annie was bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet.
"Ta-da!" Tyler cheered, raising his arms to show off his new clothes.
Jeff knelt down and Tyler leapt into his outstretched arms. "Well, don't you look suave?" Jeff said to Tyler as he stood up, resting his son against his hip. "Thanks guys," He said to his friends with genuine affection. "He looks great."
"You're welcome," Shirley cooed.
"Enjoy your lame present," Troy teased as he and Abed moved away to take their seats for the ceremony. Britta and Shirley followed their lead.
"Troy! Don't be rude!" Annie admonished, turning in their direction.
Jeff rolled his eyes at his friends before turning his attention back to the boy in his arms, "How do you like the new threads?"
"Annie said I'm handsome enough to give you a run for your money," Tyler parroted happily. Annie whipped around looking mortified. Jeff grinned mischievously at her.
"Did she now?"
Annie blushed scarlet. "I have to go check on the flowers," She lied, and hurried away to the far side of the room, pretending to fix one of the flower arrangements against the back wall. Jeff watched her with a smug sense of satisfaction.
Britta came up to him then, smiling at him proudly. "What do you say we get this show on the road?"
"Finally," Jeff joked, setting Tyler down on the ground. "I've only been ready graduate since 2009."
"Whatever, Winger." Britta turned her attention to Tyler, "Ready to be the diploma bearer?" She asked, extending her hand to him.
"Yes!" He said, reaching out to grab her hand.
"Let's go!" They took off together towards the hallway, passing the rest of the party guests on their way out the door.
Jeff went to stand in his spot underneath the archway and looked around at the gathering crowd of his friends and classmates. The wave of nostalgia that hit him was unprecedented. He had so many memories of these people and this campus. Surprisingly, some of them were actually good. If he was honest with himself, he was sad to be leaving. He'd been in such a rush to get out of here, but now that he was one over-the-top ceremony away from freedom, he found he wasn't as relived as he thought he'd be. As excited as he was to get back out into the real world and do what he loved again, he couldn't help but feel that end-of-an-era kind of sadness.
He looked out the study room window into the hall where he could see his son talking animatedly to Britta while she adjusted the suit his friends had bought for him and smiled. Maybe this was the end of an era. Maybe he would never be a Greendale student again. But the people he had connected with here would always be in his life, no matter what happened after graduation. After all, family is important.
