Tears Chapter Seven
Rick Grimes felt helpless. He had no idea where the woman he loved was or even if she was alive or not. At first, he'd been angry with her, then he was angry with himself. Now, he was just worried.
It had been two weeks since she left without warning, and Rick knew that it was because of him. How he acted that night must have scared her off or made her anxious. She'd left without telling him. What else could it be?
To keep his mind busy, he worked in the field, clearing and planting more vegetables. They'd found a good stash of seed that he could use, and he intended to keep planting and taking care of the plants until she got back. And if she didn't...
Rick wouldn't let his mind go farther. His thoughts sometimes wandered there, and his chest would tighten up, like someone was choking him from the inside. The faintest thought of losing her for good sent him into a place that he knew too well. All there was there was anger,guilt, and pain. He couldn't let himself go there again. He had to be there for Carl and Judith.
He looked over at his son, who was working alongside him, unaware of what his father was feeling. Carl missed Michonne as well. The two had grown closer recently. But the boy was optimistic and sure that she'd return any day now.
Rick could only hope he was right.
...
***One week earlier***
Michonne was glad she'd brought the horse along. There was no way that she could outrun as many walkers as she had with how sick she was. She knew that she didn't have a fever, but she stopped looking anyway. She needed to rest and get her strength back up.
She picked a house with a garage, where she kept Flame. He didn't seem too happy about it, but when she shared a can of sweet potatoes with him, he stopped being so antsy.
It wasn't long after she ate that she started throwing up again. Michonne had thought that the worst had been over, but apparently, it wasn't. She could only sit with a bucket next to her and pray that it would pass soon.
...
***Present***
Rick heard a familiar whistle and sprinted over to the gate. She was back. He knew that Carl wasn't far behind him as they opened the metal doors and she rode through. They let her through the second gate and closed the opening behind her.
Nothing could describe the relief he felt as he jogged over to where she was. Just seeing her here made him believe that miracles could happen. Still, he couldn't show her just how glad he was to have her back. At least, he couldn't show her now. He'd have to wait until later.
"You're back," he said, almost as if he couldn't believe it. "We missed you."
Michonne smiled, happy to be back, and happy that he wasn't yelling at her or calling her stupid for going out there. She could see relief in his eyes. But she didn't miss how much his beard had grown over the past two weeks. It was a good thing she'd brought him something.
"Somebody hit the jackpot," she said, reaching in her bag and pulling out a stack of comic books.
"No way," Carl said, taking them. "Thank you."
"I get to read them when you're done," she said, smiling as the boy started leading the horse away.
"I got something for you, too." She reached in her bag and pulled out the electric razor, handing it to Rick. "Your face is losing the war."
He looked at it and chuckled. He knew what she was doing. She was trying to delay a serious conversation with humor. They needed to talk about what had happened, but he wouldn't push it. Not right now, especially if it would make her leave again.
"You gonna stay a while?" He asked, looking at her.
"Yeah," she answered. "Just a little while."
He nodded, and was about to ask how long a little while was when Daryl rode up next to them on his motorcycle.
"Look who's back," the redneck said. "Find anythin'?"
"Not this time," she said. "I'm thinking of looking down by Macon."
She looked between the two men, who both seemed to disagree with her.
"It's worth a shot," she said, feeling defensive.
"That's seventy miles of walkers," Daryl said. "Might run into a few unneighbourly types. Is it?"
She didn't respond, and didn't look at Rick. She was sure of her plan, and she needed the space for a while.
"Where you headed?" She asked, changing the subject.
"To go check out the Big Spot," Daryl said, then looked at Rick. "We're a man short."
"I'll go," Michonne offered.
"But you just got here," Carl said. It was obvious Rick felt the same.
"And I'll be back." She got into the car, ready to get out of the prison again. She'd thought she'd be ready to face Rick, but she wasn't.
"Hi," a man said from the passenger seat, as he turned around. "I'm Bob Stokey." He extended his hand for her to shake, which she did.
"I'm Michonne."
"Nice to meet you," he said with a smile, then turned back around. Michonne was in the back seat with Sasha. Tyreese was driving.
"Daryl and Glenn found Bob on a run last week," Sasha elaborated. "Even though he hasn't been here long, he volunteered to go on this run."
"You know, people told me about you," Bob said. "But from the way they described you, I expected you to be taller and more scary looking."
"That's because you haven't seen her against walkers yet," Sasha said with a chuckle. "Or in the morning."
"Have you seen yourself in the morning, Sasha?" Michonne said. "That's the reason I stay out of your way until noon."
The car filled with laughter, including Sasha's, because she knew it was true. She just wasn't a morning person.
As they drove on, and the car got quiet, Michonne looked out the window and put her hand in the pocket of her vest. She wrapped her fingers around the pregnancy test and tried to calm herself. She'd taken three different tests, just to be sure, and they all read positive. She was pregnant, two months along at the most, and she was terrified.
She knew that after this run, she had to tell Rick. She had to tell him soon, it's not like she could keep this a secret for very long. She decided that she'd tell him tonight, and they'd figure out what they were going to do.
...
The run didn't go well. They lost Zack, and almost lost Bob and Daryl. Michonne felt like she'd forgotten about how dangerous this world was. One minute, they were getting food and supplies, the next, they watched a teenager get torn apart by walkers. It was an indiscriminately cruel world.
In the middle of the night, Michonne made her way to Rick's cell. She slipped inside and touched his shoulder lightly.
"Rick?" She whispered, knowing that it was unfair to wake him at this time, but being too selfish to care right now.
He seemed startled, but calmed when he heard her voice.
"Yeah?" He said. "You alright?"
"That's a stupid question," she answered.
He shifted in the bed, moving over towards the wall and lifting up the blanket, offering her comfort and warmth. She crawled in next to him, cuddling against his chest.
"What happened?" He asked softly, holding her against him. "You're pulling away."
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Is it because of me? Did I hurt you? Did I make you leave?"
"No," she whispered, looking up at him. "No... not really. I realized something and I told you. I told you that I loved you. And I do."
"Then, why did you leave?"
"It's because I love you. It's because I needed to end that threat that's out there. I can't let myself feel this when I'm afraid that the Governor's gonna come back and take you away..."
"That's not going to happen," Rick said, pulling her closer. "And I don't think that's really it. I think that's just an excuse. You're afraid, but fear doesn't keep people apart."
His hands cupped her face and he made her look at him.
"You feel guilty for something," he said.
He was right, and Michonne knew it as soon as he said it. She hadn't let herself understand it, but she knew now. She felt guilty for loving him and being happy again. She felt guilty for this new life growing inside her when she couldn't protect her children before. She felt guilty that she was alive, and all the people she loved were dead.
"You don't need to feel that guilt anymore," Rick said. "We all go through it, and you'll get through it, too."
She couldn't see how she could ever get through this, but she nodded, just for the sake of preventing an argument.
When his lips pressed to hers, she knew what she needed. She slid her hand down his chest and into his boxers, stroking him. In seconds, he was erect and pulling her shorts off.
"Miss me much?" She asked with a slight smile.
"You have no idea," was his answer as he moved on top of her.
He kissed her, running his hands over her body, before he slowly pushed into her. Her gasp was muffled by his mouth, and he began to move, watching her face intently as he filled her.
Michonne closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. She'd be content to stay like this forever.
Okay, so now you know what Michonne had to go work out. This chapter is short, but the next should be pretty long as a lot happens. Also, I messed up a bit of the dialogue, since this takes place in the first episode of season four, but I was writing it by memory (never a good idea) and you all know the general idea. Hope you enjoyed this, I'll be continuing it soon.
