Title: Surprises
Type: One-shot
Pairing: Dramione
POV: Harry
Enjoy!
Surprises weren't really Harry's thing. He'd never liked being on the receiving end and the planning part wasn't that much better, so he was already feeling a tad out of his comfort zone when Ginny and Pansy insisted that he surprise Hermione with a special luncheon for her 30th birthday.
"You can't just give her flowers, Harry." He recalled Ginny chiding him when he said he was going to send some to her office. "She's just been promoted and she's your best friend."
"She's your best friend too." He reminded her with a not so subtle groan. "I don't see why one of you two can't be the one to fetch her. It's your idea." Pansy had kicked him in the shin for that and he'd jumped back, cursing. "What the hell was that for?"
"First of all," She counted off a finger. "You've been friends with her the longest, she's saved your sorry arse on more than a dozen occasions, and you're the head of your department."
"What does my being the head of my department have to do with it?"
She grinned, "Well, since you've got the deepest pockets, you're footing the bill. Might as well take full credit for it."
He frowned. It had only been an hour since that conversation, but now it felt like ages had passed. Time seemed to be standing still for him as he stared at the wheels of Hermione's office chair, cursing the gods for continuously finding new ways to torture him. Of all the things that could happen in his life, it had to be this?
The desk above him groaned as a body sat atop it. "Hurry up, Malfoy, we don't have all day." His friend sounded impatient as she pulled the man into her.
Harry wished Ginny and Pansy had never met. His eyes shut tightly and he tried not to think about the other wizard's laugh or the throaty response of, "So pushy, Granger," that followed.
Oh, how he wished those two had never met! Maybe then he wouldn't be hiding under Hermione's desk right now while Draco Malfoy snogged her senseless.
He would have said something the moment they'd entered but she had already been undoing the tie around Malfoys neck and his hands had been too busy untucking her blouse from her skirt to notice a shocked Harry Potter sitting in her chair. He'd hesitated and now he was paying the price.
Without thinking he'd dropped to the floor and shuffled under her desk. What kind of foolishness had overcome him in that moment, he didn't know, but what he wouldn't give for the invisibility cloak right now!
"Gods, I've missed you." Malfoy said, his voice muffled by either her hair or, he shuddered at the thought, her skin.
"It's been two days, Draco." She scoffed.
"Yes, well," The sound of a zipper, "You know how needy I am."
Harry was going to be sick. He should just say something. He should just crawl out from under the oak desk, swallow his pride, and save them all from further embarrassment. But he was frozen, unable to move, unable to breathe due to this bizarre turn of events. Malfoy and Hermione were literally fucking directly above him.
Everyone knew the two of them were seeing each other, but there was knowing and there was knowing. He could have gone his whole life without this visual in his head. And not only were there visuals, now he had a whole arraignment of sounds to go along with them. The moans, the curses, the scraping of wood against the floor, and the tell tale noise of sex, of wet flesh coming together, were the things that would undoubtedly keep him up at night.
There were just some things he couldn't un-hear.
Like the crash of a coffee cup and multiple pens being scattered across the floor as the couple switched positions, or the chanting of yes, harder, oh god, and Draco's name echoing in the tiny office. He honestly didn't know how much more he could take. His back ached from being crammed under the desk and his teeth hurt from clenching his jaw for so long. His joints were stiff and he tried to shift minutely to relieve some of the pressure but the movement caused his foot to slip out from his hiding spot. "Shit." He muttered, dragging his foot back underneath the desk. For a second he didn't worry about his blunder, surely they were too preoccupied with achieving mutual orgasm to have seen or heard anything.
He was proven wrong, yet again, when all movement around him ceased and the only sounds in his ears were that of his heart beating and shallow panting coming from the couple that had just moments before been in the throes of passion. He hadn't heard the big finale so with much trepidation he let his eyes travel upward, stopping when they landed on Draco's shocked face as it peered over the edge of the desk at him.
"Potter?" He spoke slowly, as if he wasn't quite sure that what be was seeing was real.
Harry felt a blush travel from his neck to his face as he gave a tiny salute. So much for saving them from embarrassment.
Gray eyes narrowed. "What the fu-"
He was cut off by a shriek of, "Harry!?"
A thump and a pained grunt of, "Ouch! Watch what you're doing, Hermione," indicated that it was probably almost safe to venture out of his little cave of shame.
He slowly emerged, keeping his back to them for a moment before turning around. Hermione's hair was a bit disheveled, as was her blouse, and her arms were folded across her chest, a manila folder in one hand and her face cross. "Harry James Potter, what do you think you were doing?" She hissed, smacking him in the arm with the folder.
He looked to Malfoy for support but the other man wasn't paying him any attention. He was just standing nonchalantly to the side, retying the tie around his neck and buttoning up his shirt.
"Sorry, Hermione!"
"How long were you hiding there?" She asked, demanding an answer.
"I was already here when you came in! Its not my fault you were too busy snogging the hell out of Malfoy to notice ."
Her face turned a slight shade of pink as she glared at him. "Well, still! Why didn't you say anything? Why did you just hide under my desk?!"
He scratched the back of his head. "Honestly I was just kind of shocked. I didn't really think about it. I guess all those years of sneaking around programmed me to hide first."
Hermione covered her eyes with a hand. "Merlin, Harry. This is so mortifying."
"You're mortified? Try being the one trapped under there having to listen to his best friend getting fucked six ways from Sunday."
Anger clouded her face but before she could respond Draco let out a loud laugh. They both turned their heads to face the blond, Hermione leveling him with an unimpressed stare. "Tell me, Draco. What exactly about this situation do you find funny?"
He smirked and nodded his head to Harry. "I'm just amused by the fact that this whole thing could have been avoided had Potter remembered to use a muffling charm."
Silence overcame the room as the statement sunk in. "Well, bugger." Harry grumbled. He hasn't thought of that. Apparently it was a Harry-sucks-at-everything kind of day.
Hermione sighed and rubbed her temples with her free hand. "Well, nevermind that now, let's just…let's just agree to forget this whole incident shall we?"
"Agreed." Harry said enthusiastically.
Draco nodded, but a very telling grin never left his face as he replied, "Sure." Like hell he would ever agree to forget this.
The witch in front of them smiled and straightened her skirt. "Oh," She addressed Harry once more as they followed her to the door. "Why were you waiting in my office anyway?"
"I was sent by Ginny and Pansy to fetch you for a surprise luncheon." He told her. "For your recent promotion and your 30th birthday."
"Draco paused dramatically and waved his hands in the air. "Surprise!"
Hermione smacked him playfully. "Oh, shut up." She turned back to Harry. "Do we still have time to make that lunch? I'm starving."
"I can imagine."
"What?"
"Nothing. We should have time."
"Great!" She exclaimed, linking arms with both of them, all the discomfort from the last ten minutes almost disappearing entirely her body as they made their way to the restaurant. When they arrived Ginny and Pansy both enveloped her in hugs and congratulations, the three of them chatting excitedly as they made their way to their seats.
He tried to be cheerful and join into the conversations but the events of the morning still plagued him. It didn't help the fact that Malfoy kept making innuendos and shooting him knowing looks the whole time. Fucking prick. He was never going to let Harry live it down. One would think he'd be the one feeling embarrassed, after all, he was the one having sex in the middle of afternoon on his girlfriend's desk, not Harry. But this was Malfoy, after all. Something like that wouldn't phase the man at all. No, he'd torture Harry with it until it no longer made him squirm, which would be hmmmm…never. He'd never get over it, so he supposed he'd just have to learn to deal with Malfoy's quips.
When lunch was finished and they were waiting for the check, Pansy leaned over and whispered in his ear. "What's up with you and Malfoy?"
Obviously her knack of picking up and observing odd situations was still spot on. "Don't ask." He pleaded. "Just…don't ask."
"Why? What happened?"
He groaned loudly and smacked his head down on the table. "I just hate surprises."
