Tears Chapter 8

How could she be so stupid?

That question ran through her mind again and again as she held Judith against her and cried. Holding the baby made her realize how reckless her choice had been. She had left, putting her life and her baby's life in danger. How could she even think that was okay

Even though she'd made a stupid choice, coming back had been the right one. She'd almost been bit, and had hurt her ankle in the process, but that didn't matter now. She was home.

Her tears were gone now, and Michonne just held onto Judith, letting the baby play with her dreads.

"I'm not leaving like that again," she whispered to the infant.

A soft shuffling sound moved closer, and for a second, she thought a walker had gotten into the cell block, but instead, Herschel appeared at the door and smiled at her.

"Hey there," he said, stepping inside and sitting on the stool. "Your ankle feel alright?"

Michonne nodded and lifted her leg so he could see the wrapping job that Beth had done. The girl certainly knew how to wrap a sprained ankle.

Herschel picked up her foot, twisting it slightly. Michonne winced, but it didn't hurt too badly.

"Well, it's definitely sprained," he said. "But nothing too serious. Just try and stay off of it for the rest of the day, and try not to injure it anymore for the next week."

"Okay," Michonne said, watching as the man started to stand. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something else."

Herschel sat down and looked at her, worried. Michonne wasn't the type of person who shared if she was hurt unless it was something big.

"Okay," he said, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't speak after a few moments, he did.

"Did you get bit?" He asked, afraid of the answer. Even though she hadn't been with the group for as long as the others, she'd still become part of the family.

"No," Michonne said, hugging Judith to her chest. "It's just...I'm pregnant."

This took him by surprise. He'd expected this sort of news from Maggie, Karen, or any of the other women here.

"You're sure?" He asked.

"Yeah. I took a test and it was positive. Actually, I took three tests."

"Congratulations, then," he said, a smile coming across his face. "When are you going to tell Rick?"

Michonne looked over at him, shocked that he knew about the relationship.

"Were we that obvious?" She asked.

"Not really. I just noticed the way Rick moped about while you were gone and things started to add up. I'm really happy for the two of you."

"Thanks...Was he really moping?"

"Yes. He seemed pretty miserable. But, anyway, do you know how far along you are?"

Michonne thought back and did the math again. She'd tried to figure it out before, using their first time as the farthest possible date of conception. She'd also tried to figure it out by when the morning sickness started, but she was still unsure.

"I'm not sure," she said after a moment. "At the most, I'd be about two months. I've already started with the vomiting."

"That means you don't have long before you start showing, especially with how skinny you are."

"I know. It's just all been a shock. I don't think I've really realized it, yet."

"Well, we'll just have to make some changes now, then. But you should tell Rick as soon as you can. Although, you two shouldn't be in the same room for a few days."

"Why?" Michonne asked.

"Those gunshots today were because Patrick got sick and turned last night. He attacked some of the others while they were sleeping, and by morning, half the cell block was infected. But whatever disease killed that boy might still be around, so we've got to keep whoever's been exposed away from the most vulnerable ones. And that means you now."

Michonne nodded slightly, not happy with the fact that she was considered vulnerable now. But she knew that this was what had to be done. Once Rick knew, he'd be pissed enough that she'd put their child in danger once today. He didn't need any more reasons to be angry with her.

"I'll tell him in a few days, once it's safe," she said.

"I've got to go see if anyone needs help," Herschel said. "Do you need anything before I go?"

Michonne shook her head, and within a few moments, she was left with nothing but Judith and her thoughts.

...

In those few days when she was supposed to be telling Rick the news, all hell broke loose. Karen and David were murdered, the sickness spread, she left with a small group to go find medicine, people started to get better, the Governor came back and killed Herschel, then ran down their fences. It seemed like everything that could have went wrong, did.

Michonne walked through the woods, the thought of her dream still fresh in her mind. She'd been happy, with her family, but then the darkness of reality somehow found it's way into the former safe haven of her dreams. Nowhere was safe for her now. She knew that she'd get bigger then give birth, probably out in the open. The crying baby would ruin her camouflage and they'd both die out here. Even though she knew that, she just kept wandering aimlessly, content to accept whatever fate would come.

From the corner of her eye, Michonne saw a walker. Nothing was out of the ordinary with it, but it still caught her attention. The corpse had dark skin that had turned gray and ashen from decomposition, but it couldn't be that old, since its face had not rotted enough to make it unrecognizable.

Michonne looked into that corpse's eyes and saw her reflection. For a moment, she was that walker, dead and hungry. But then it looked back at her and moved towards her and she knew that she wasn't dead yet, and she didn't want to be. So, she drew her sword and she killed it. The other walkers started to come after her, but she took them all down, one by one. Soon, there was nothing left but bodies piled around her as she leaned against a tree, pulling herself back together.

She was still alive, and she knew where she needed to be.

...

"It's for you," Rick said, laughing. Carl had been so convinced that they were the only ones left, and just like that, she appeared. When they needed her most, she would be there.

Carl went over to the door cautiously, before untying the handle and opening it. As soon as he saw Michonne, he threw his arms around her.

"Hey," Michonne said, hugging him back and walking inside with him. Although Carl had never really hugged her before, it felt natural. He was her family.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Carl said, his voice muffled by her shirt.

"I'm not that easy to get rid of," Michonne answered. "I figured that you'd know that by now."

Rick closed the door behind her and watched them, happy she'd found them. When Carl finally let go of her, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"You look terrible," Michonne said, earning a chuckle from Carl and a snort from Rick.

"Thanks," he said, letting her go, but staying close. It felt like forever since he'd been able to touch her, and it had been torture.

"Have you eaten?" Carl asked, and Michonne shook her head. "Come on, then. We found some food."

She followed him into the kitchen and took a handful of cereal. It wasn't much, but she wasn't very hungry. She ate it as Carl talked about his adventures the day before.

Rick noticed how Michonne could barely keep her eyes open, and he figured she hadn't gotten much sleep since the prison fell.

"Carl," he said. "I think Michonne would rather hear about this after she's gotten some rest."

"No, it's okay," she said, feeling like it would be rude to go to sleep now, when she'd just gotten back.

"Come on," Rick insisted, touching her arm as he walked out into the living room.

Once they were upstairs and away from Carl, Rick kissed her gently, running his hands over her waist. Once she started kissing him back, he slipped his fingers under the hem of her shirt.

"Rick, you can't just lead me away to have sex anytime you want," Michonne said, chuckling softly as he moved his kisses to her neck.

"But it's been too long," he mumbled against her skin, her words not deferring him at all.

"I agree. But if I'm too tired to listen to Carl's story, I'm too tired for what you have in mind."

"You won't have to do anything. I'll do all the work." He pulled her hips against his and moved his hand up to tangle in her hair.

"Not with how hurt you are," Michonne said, pulling away gently. "Please, Rick. Not right now."

"Okay," he said. "Sorry. I've just missed you."

"I know." She smiled, then got into the bed, kicking off her shoes.

"I love you," she said, closing her eyes.

"Love you , too," he answered, going to the doorway and shutting it. By the time he got to the stairs, Michonne was already asleep.

...

When she felt the bed dip down next to her, Michonne woke up. She had no clue what time it was, but she could tell it was late. She heard Rick sigh as he settled into bed.

"Hey," she said softly, not wanting to startle him.

"Sorry to wake you," he replied, reaching over until he grabbed hold of her waist. "I waited until Carl fell asleep to come up here."

"You don't have to. I don't want us to be a secret anymore."

Even in the dark, she could sense his surprise, but it didn't last long, because he was soon pulling her against him.

"Alright," he said, pressing a kiss to the nearest part of her.

"I mean, we can't be a secret anymore," she said.

"Why's that?" He asked, although by the way he was pressing kisses to her neck, she figured he was too distracted to really understand.

"I'm pregnant," she said, then held her breath. She didn't know what his reaction would be, but she hoped he wouldn't be too upset with her.

His lips stayed at her neck for a moment longer and he mumbled a that's nice against her skin before he suddenly tensed, pulling back slightly.

"What did you say?" He asked.

Michonne took a breath before she answered him.

"I'm pregnant, Rick."

There was silence for a while before he got out of bed. She could hear him pace on the floor, only a few feet away.

"How...how far along?" He asked. Michonne sat up on the bed. She could barely see him from the moonlight coming from the window.

"Maybe two months," she answered. "I don't exactly know."

"And how long have you known?"

"Two weeks."

She waited as he did the math, thinking back to where they were two weeks ago.

"You mean to tell me that you were out there, alone, while you knew you were pregnant?"

"Yes."

"And you wanted to leave again?"

"Yes."

"You could have gotten killed."

"I know."

"Then, why?" He knelt down on the bed in front of her and reached out for her hand. She let him hold it, lacing their fingers together.

"I was afraid of telling you," she admitted. "I was afraid that you'd be angry. And I just didn't know how to tell you. I'm so sorry, Rick."

Her eyes stung as the tears welled up and spilled down her cheeks. She wiped her face with her free hand and tried to get a hold of herself.

"Don't be," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "I'll be honest with you. I'm not angry with you. And I'm not upset that you're pregnant. I mean, bringing a baby into these circumstances isn't ideal, but we're going to make it work. I promise you that, okay?"

Michonne nodded slightly and laid down with him, staying in his arms.

"I'm gonna keep you safe," Rick whispered. "You, Carl, and our baby."