Disclaimer: I don't own anything from The Outsiders
10
I tucked my short hair behind my ears. I still wasn't used to the feeling of my short hair. My mom evened it out for me. It looked decent, but that was just it. It was decent - nothing special, which was exactly the way I was feeling.
"Deb, you ready yet?"
I turned to Danny in the doorway, smiling slightly. "I can't remember the last time I saw you in church clothes." He looked nice and clean. He looked handsome and like a nice, respectable, young man - basically, everything he wasn't. As good as he looked, it seemed wrong and out of his element.
He looked uncomfortable in the button up. He walked over to stand beside me as he looked in the vanity mirror. "Me either." He groaned. "Nobody better see me."
I put my hand on his shoulder. "You'll be fine, Danny."
His eyes caught mine in the mirror. "I'm doin' this for you."
"I know." I leaned my head against his strong shoulder, the thought suddenly popping into my mind on how tall he had gotten; how much bigger and broader he had gotten over the past couple months. "Thank you."
"Kids!"
We all piled into the car, like old times. When we were kids and our dad had just died and mom was still not good at driving our manual Buick. I sat in the backseat and tried to get Danny settled down. He was a riled up little boy, kicking and screaming and tugging at his clothes. I remember how mom used to yell at us, but laugh at the same time.
Things were so different now. Kind of.
My mom hit the breaks, causing us to lurch forward, the seat belts locking around us. We all grunted.
Danny coughed. "Jesus, mom!"
"Daniel!" She yelled at him, glancing back with an icy glare.
Danny laughed to himself, looking to me. "Maybe learn how to drive, ma, or I might have to start prayin'."
I put my head down, hiding a laugh from my mother. When I looked up, I caught her eyes in the rearview mirror. I had a guilty look on my face. "I'm sorry, but -" I couldn't help but smile. "Maybe, mom, go lighter on the brakes."
My mom shook her head. Taking constructive criticism wasn't really her strong suit. "Both of you be quiet." The corner of her lips turned up just slightly. She was smiling - something she didn't do too often.
"Whatever you say, ma."
We made it to church and we sat and we listened to Father Owens talk for a long, long while. My mother, who was listening intently nodded along and said a couple of things under her breath every once in a while. Danny, who couldn't pay attention to save his life, was staring at smooth head of brown hair a couple seats up and across the aisle. I watched them as they exchanged glances, he would wink and she would blush and I would roll my eyes. How anyone could fall for any of Danny's silly attempts at being charming was beyond me.
I scanned the room, catching a glance at Scott a couple rows up. I didn't mean to stare, but I couldn't help it. Just a week and a half ago, he had completely shattered me. And he got to sit there, face warm and fully of colour and happiness and pretend that nothing ever happened.
Honestly, I wasn't mad at him anymore. I was shocked on how he genuinely seemed to love Mandy. I was also shocked at how quickly it faded from him what had happened. It was like there was no acknowledgement from anyone but me that all of it had happened.
But like I said, I wasn't mad at him. I wasn't mad at Mandy, either. I had no anger left in me anymore. I had my mom and my brother and God for support, and I felt the love.
I felt different; new, almost. I felt normal again. I wasn't the same as before. This whole, awful experience had changed me into a person I liked to be. I finally liked who I was. I had friends I never thought I'd have, especially not one very mouthy Evie. I had to be friends with her, though, seeing as we have kissed.
Kissing.
The last person I kissed was Two-bit. In the past week and a half, the person that I thought of when I couldn't sleep at night was Two-bit. The hands I found wishing to run over my body belonged to Two-bit. I missed him. I missed my friend. I missed getting touched by him. I missed being called baby.
"Deb."
"What?" I turned to Danny, seeing that he was starting to stand.
"Time to go." Danny walked beside me as we made our way outside of the church. "And Deb..." He put the tip of his finger on the neckline of my shirt. "You got something on your shirt."
I looked down, only for Danny's finger to come up and hit me in the nose. I flinched away, my initial reaction to reach out and shove him. "Danny!"
Danny laughed loudly. His laughter quickly ceased when my mother pinched his arm. Then, it was complaining. "Ow!"
My mom looked at him with the eyes she used to look at me with all of the time. "That's quite enough, Daniel."
I laughed, folding my arms in front of me, rocking on my feet and waiting for my mom to be done talking to her fellow church moms when I felt a large, cold hand on my cardigan. I spun around, being faced with Scott. "Oh, hi," was what came out first.
"Hi."
Danny scoffed behind me and then footsteps from his retreating.
I offered up the best smile I could, keeping face for my mother's benefit. "How are you?"
"Debbie..." he started, voice soft and solemn. "I need to tell you that I'm sorry for everything, okay? For Mandy and me and everyone and everything that happened, and the dance and -"
"I got it," I said quickly. I didn't want to talk to him anymore, or look at him, or be in his presence. All my patience for him had been exhausted over our terrible relationship. "Thank you for apologizing," I told him, trying to sound as genuine as I could. "It means a lot."
He had a handsome face, but he didn't make me feel how he used to. He nodded. "You're welcome. Uh -" He took a big step back. "I'll see you around, Debbie, okay?"
I hummed in agreement as a response, watching him back away until he turned around and strode towards his family. I turned around to my mother, a couple feet away. Danny was standing beside her, head thrown back dramatically, foot tapping. I walked over to the both of them. "Mom? Can we go?"
"Yes."
"What?" Danny's eyes widened as he stared at mom. "When I ask if we can go, it's 'no, Danny' and 'be quiet, Danny', but when Debbie asks, it's a green light? How is that fair?"
He was so dramatic.
Mom walked towards the car, retrieving her keys from her purse. "Because Debbie doesn't make googly eyes at people during mass."
That shut Danny up rather quickly. For the rest of the car ride home, I couldn't help but feel a little bit good about myself. I rubbed it in a little too much, making sure Danny could see me smirking the whole way home, which earned a lot of glares from him. It was quite funny, if I do say so myself.
"Okay, okay, would I be found in the kitchen?"
A chorus of "no's" came from everyone around the table. Sodapop groaned loudly, picking up his beer and tipping it to his lips, taking a small sip.
"Nope," Steve said loudly. "Gotta be a bigger drink than that if you get a question to 'Who am I' wrong. You know the rules, Soda." Steve pushed the beer back to Soda's lips and Evie reached out and tipped it back.
"There ya go, Soda," she said encouragingly.
Soda shoved her hand away after his mighty big gulp. He slammed the beer down, letting out a loud laugh. "Alright, alright." He turned to his little brother. "Your turn, kiddo."
Pony was a pillow, Soda was hat, Steve was a lighter, Evie a screwdriver, Danny a snake, and all I knew about what I happened to be was that I was usually round in shape. I had shown up late, so I was significantly less drunk than everyone else. And because I was less drunk and very late, I was buying the next round, which came up pretty damn fast.
I slammed the table, standing up as my chair launched backward. "Alright, I'm goin' to the bar." I didn't wait for a response as I walked away. I glanced back at the table, remembering how a couple of months ago, that table used to be just slightly more cramped.
Two-bit hadn't been around. It wasn't like I was avoiding him. I wasn't trying to seek him out either, but I hadn't seen him in the past week and a bit - not since he kissed me at the drive-in.
I was waiting for the beers I reluctantly ordered when I was looking around. Everyone looked the same under the dim, red light, except for one slicked back head of hair walking between the close-knit people. I knew that head. I would recognize it anywhere.
I pushed myself away from the counter, running after him. I exited Buck's a second or two after him. I grew closer and closer. Four inches taller than me, slicked back, dirty blonde hair, and some nice, broad shoulders. I reached out and touched one. He immediately whipped around.
He had a scar down his face and a mean look in his eyes, a pick stuck between his teeth. His unfamiliar stare bore into me. "Can I help you?"
"No." I shook my head, confused by myself. "Sorry." I watched the man walk away from me.
Oh, my god. I was going insane. I wanted to see Two-bit so badly that my brain was making me see things. I was seeing what I wanted to see, but it wasn't really Two-bit.
I stood outside in the crisp air, feeling the heavy sadness wash over - a very familiar feelings the last week. I sat down on the steps, giving myself a couple moments to breathe and get myself back into the right state of mind.
"What the fuck, man?!"
Everyone's heads whipped around to the right. It was a big group of guys clumped together, one tall man squaring up to another man. The other man was all by his lonesome. Whoever he was, he was crazy to pick to pick a fight without any back up.
"Well, let's go!"
My jaw dropped. Two-bit? "Two-bit?" My eyes widened as his strong nose and broad shoulders and greased hair came apparent to me in the dim outside lighting of the Buck's Bar 'parking lot'. I wasn't imagining things, I didn't think. That had to be Two-bit. I took a couple big steps forward. "Two-bit!"
Two-bit's head snapped to me, his tired and obviously drunk eyes meeting mine for the first time in what felt like way too long. Then his head jerked back, due to being punch in the face from the man in front of him. Two-bit fell to the ground and the man in front of his seemed confused. He didn't make any more moves to beat Two-bit up after Two writhed around on the ground after one single punch.
I ran forward. stepping between the two of them. I looked at the tall man beside me. "Sorry, he's pretty drunk."
He nodded to me. "You better take your friend home before I finish what he started."
I nodded quickly, leaning down beside Two-bit. Seeing his face for the first time felt good, even if his cheekbone was already red and swelling up from the punch and his eyes drooped from the many drink I was guessing he had. "Two-bit?" I reached out, placing a hand on his firm chest and rubbing comfortingly. "Two, it's me, Debbie."
One of Two-bit's eyes opened, a crooked smile making way to his face. "Debbie, baby."
I chuckled, grabbing his forearm and tugging until he sat up. I hastily grabbed his shoulders to keep his from falling over again. "Are you okay?"
He looked at me. "No." He managed to reach up and wrap his big hand around mine, pressing my hand against his face. Both of his eyes were open normally and he stared at me. "I miss you, baby."
"You're very drunk, Two," I explained to him, like a parent to a child. I took my hand away from his face, taking his arm and putting it around my shoulders. I managed to get him to stand, just barely carrying his weight over to my mom's car I was allowed to borrow for the night. I opened the passenger door, letting Two-bit sit himself down. I tried to get his legs in the car, but he was protesting.
"Debbie, hey, you have to hear me out -"
"Two-bit, I just want to get you home right now, okay?" I shoved his legs inside, shutting the door. I walked around the front, deciding the if I didn't go inside and inform the gang on what I was doing, that it would be fine. I got into the driver's seat, starting the car and pulling away from the bar.
"You look pretty tonight."
I sighed, continuing to stare forward.
When I didn't say anything back, Two-bit said, "I love you, Debbie."
That time, my breath caught in my throat. I gripped the wheel tightly. I loved to hear him say that, but at the same time, I hated it. It was hurting me. He was drunk. What if he didn't really mean it? Or what if he meant it in the strictly platonic way?I could feel the same sensation of when we first met; me slowly falling for him as he didn't seem to reciprocate the feelings. I didn't want to be hurt again. I wasn't ready. Or maybe I was.
I needed Two-bit in my life - that much was clear. But who was I to him? I was his friend, sure, but I didn't know if I could handle being just that. The memory of seeing him kiss that leggy blonde still made me feel the same nauseous way it now as it did months ago.
"I love you," he repeated. "And I miss you." Silence. Suddenly, he was angry. "Why aren't you saying anything?"
I glanced at him and then back at the road, seeing his house in the near distance. We pulled up beside his place. I stopped, turned the car off and looked at him. He had done a quick switch from a swaying drunk to an angry, coherent person. He looked stone-cold sober all of the sudden.
He looked at me with big, angry eyes. "Well? You're not gonna say anything?"
I didn't mean for it to come out as yelling, but it did. "What do you want me to say?"
"Anything, Debbie, I just told you I loved you!"
I shook my head, feeling the heat swell up inside of me. "Two-bit, that means nothing to me because I don't understand!"
"How?!" His loud voice filled up the entire car. Brows furrowed, lips tight, he waited for me to respond.
"In what way do you love me?"
"In every way!" He screamed. I flinched and the redness in his face seemed to fade in a matter of seconds. He sighed heavily, running his hands over his face before looking at me once again. He threw an arm over the back of the seat, his hand close enough to touch me, but he didn't. "In every way. Debbie. You're my best friend. You're all I think about. When I don't see you, my day sucks - it sucks. And seeing you, even if it's just for a second, makes everything better." His voice was smooth and calm and slow. His fingertips barely touched my back as he shook his head. "And knowing that you were with Scott when you could've been with me." He groaned. "If I had just taken you when I wanted you instead of waiting - if I had just - and I wanted to -" He didn't break his stare and his whole hand came down onto my shoulder, gently pulling me closer. "I love you, Debbie, and I don't want you to be with anyone else. I want you to be with me, baby."
The words ran through me as I stared. His skin was so smooth, eyes so bright. After all that, I just want to kiss him and see him smile - that was it. That was all I wanted was to kiss him and to see him smile.
The heat continued to stir inside of me. I smiled. "Are you gonna remember this tomorrow, you drunk?"
Two-bit smiled a wide, perfect smile. "I sure hope so."
"Good." I lurched forward, pressing my lips to his. The feeling made me body feel hot. I crawled into his lap rather quickly, our lips moving against each other slowly and sensually.
In between kissed, Two-bit leaned away just enough to say, "Wait, so, was that a yes to being my girl or -"
"Yes." I laughed, snaking my arms around his neck. The tip of my nose touched him. "Yes." I kissed him again.
Yet again, he pulled away. He smiled. "I think you're forgetting something."
I smirked. "What ever do you mean?" Two-bit squeezed my side, earning a squeal from me. I laughed loudly. "Okay, okay -" My arms tightened around him, pressing my body against his. "I love you too, Two-bit."
He leaned forward, kissing me eagerly. He turned and pushed me down onto the seat, hovering over me, careful not to break our kiss. He pressed his body into mine and my hands slid underneath his shirt.
Never had I ever felt a sensation more great than the one I was feeling now.
He suddenly pulled away, scooting away from me, opening the door of the car, grabbing my arms and yanking me out. He kissed my lips quickly, closed the door and encouraged me towards the house, arm finding it's way around my shoulders.
"Come on, baby. Let's get some beer and some cake."
My finger found his belt loop as we walked towards his place. "I missed this, Two."
Two-bit chuckled. "Come on, baby, you don't wanna sound desperate."
I scoffed. "Says the man who just confessed his love for me."
Two-bit put on a face of feign innocence. "I don't remember that at all."
I laughed, pushing him away from me as I quickened my pace towards the couple steps. His laughter blended with mine as he grabbed me and pushed me up against the house, lips finding mine.
I don't remember when we actually made it inside the house, but we got there at some point - after all the laughs and kissing.
