Chapter 3
Morning! How are we all? Just a quick note, I know that series 3 is said to be in April, and TBH, I'm dreading it! I don't want this to be the end of SNK! Ugh. What will I do without it?
Enjoy the chapter fellow anime fans!
Disclaimer- SNK is not mine- otherwise Ymir and Christa would be together.
Warnings- bad language and general angst.
Note- I know that Levi is 34 and Eren is 15, but I felt awkward writing that, so I made Levi ten years younger. He looks it anyway.
Dont forget to review!
XXX
Much to his disappointment, the sky had not cleared from this morning, and as Levi lay in his bed, listening to the patter of raindrops on his roof. If anyone were to walk in and see him, they would think he was asleep, for his eyes were closed and his body limp. But this would be a wrong conclusion. Levi was very much awake.
After his mental breakdown at the hospital Levi had ran straight to his barracks, angrily undid all of his straps, and climbed into bed. That had been several hours ago now. All Levi could think was 'this isn't fair.' And as childish as it sounded, it wasn't. Not in the slightest. Eren could have been his, and his alone, but he had pushed to boy away.
Deep down, Levi reckoned he had always loved Eren. From the first time he had seen him, unconscious in that bed after the incident, he had thought Eren was special. He knew he was right when Eren had promised, in front of him and Erwin, to slaughter every last Titan. Levi knew it was sick, but there was something about the bloodlust in Eren's eyes that excited every muscle in his body, and made the blood in his veins sing with excitement. He shouldn't have ever pushed Eren away this morning, he should have said yes, and rapped the boy in his arms and protected him from what had happened today. But it was too late now.
Levi missed Erwin. Having been left to organise the barricading, Levi felt as though he had nobody to talk to. He wanted to hug Erwin again, and to be told it would all be ok. But Erwin was far away, probably not even thinking about Levi, working hard.
Having enough of bed, Levi clambered out, and walked over to where his coat was kept. He hoisted it on, and stepped outside, locking his door behind him. Although he wasn't conscious of it, Levi already knew where he was going. The hospital wasn't far, and although Eren may not be awake, he knew that he had to apologise for earlier, it wasn't Eren's fault what had happened, and Levi had acted out in a bad way. Hopefully this new Eren would forgive him.
He approached the hospital, and once again passed the same guard as earlier, than he walked down to Eren's ward. He mocked quietly, then on no answer let himself in.
Well, Jäeger may have amnesia, but he slept in the same way as he always had. He was laying right across the bed, his arms and legs thrown out either side of him. He was drooling on the pillow, and when he laid like this, Levi had trouble believing anything had happened to the boy.
He tiptoed over to Eren and sat on the bed. Eren shifted in his sleep, and mumbled something, but didn't wake up. Levi knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help himself, and he placed his hand on Eren's head. It was soft and silky, and Levi inwardly cringed at the cheesiness of that. Eren did wake at this, and he blinked confusedly up at Levi, before he recognised the man and pulled away from his hand.
"I-It's you! Mikasa told me about you! She said to stay away, because you are trouble. And you beat me up!" Eren frowned. Levi sighed. He didn't want it to be, but it looked like it was going to be a competition with the other Ackerman.
"Yes, ok, I know I beat you up, and that's why I'm here. I came to apologise. It was wrong of me, but I have had a terrible day, and unfortunately Eren I took it out on you. I know you can't remember me, but you and I, we- we were friends. Maybe more. Before this accident, and I was scared that I had lost you." Levi sadly mumbled. Eren' eyes opened in wonder, and he started to let down his guard. He shuffled closer to Levi.
"Really? We were friends?" Levi nodded.
"Yes Eren. We got on because we both shared a very strong hatred for the same thing."
"That's not a good thing for a relationship to form on. I don't even know your name." Eren curiously squinted.
"I'm Levi. Captain Levi. And my nickname for you was Brat."
Eren gasped at this, and he smiled.
"Captain? Your a captain! Of what?"
"The Survey Corps. I'm a squad leader as well, but that never stopped you giving me attitude." Levi said fondly.
"Well, Captain, I accept your apology. You don't seem that bad to me if you apologised. Mikasa was wrong. This may sound out of the blue, but I want my normal life back as soon as possible, and I trust my past self, so would it be ok if we were friends again?" Eren asked, and he reminded Levi of a puppy begging for attention.
"Of course Eren. And you can call me Levi. No need for Captain. But you will need to call me Captain on missions." Levi added quickly. Eren smiled, and shuffled even closer to Levi, before laying down again. With his head on Levi's lap.
Levi looked down at the taller boy, who had his eyes closed and although clearly not asleep, he was clearly comfortable. Levi slowly and awkwardly put his hand down on Erens head, and started playing with his hair.
"Mikasa was so wrong. I like you Levi. Even when I first saw you, I felt like I knew you deep down. Or at least wanted to know you. Can you tell me more about when we were friends. What did we do?" Levi smiled inwardly to himself, and continued running his hands through Erens hair.
"Ok." And the two of them sat there -or lied there- for at least on other hour or so, with Levi telling stories about the two of them slaying titans. Eventually Eren fell asleep on Levi, and although it was cute, Levi pushed Eren off when he started dribbling all over him.
He stroked the boys head one last time, and gazed down at him affectionally. "Good night Eren." He whispered, not letting him wake up. "Start remembering everything soon, and we can go and save the world together again- huh?"
He tiptoed out the room, and was just about to leave, when he was greeted with the face of a very angry Mikasa. Levi mentality prepared himself for a fight, she didn't look happy.
"Captain." She grunted.
"Ackerman. Do you have a problem?" He raised his eyebrows, and folded his arms.
"Actually yes. I do. I was thinking that maybe you could stop harassing Eren. If you don't have romantic feelings for him, which you so clearly started this morning, and you don't even like him, which you also stated this morning, why do you seek him out? Leave Eren alone. He is mine this time, do you understand? I have looked after him my whole life, and you have known him for a couple of months. Not to mention you are ten years older than him. So back off."
Levi growled, and stood on his tip toes in order to mach Mikasa's height.
"May I remind you Miss Ackerman, that I am a Captain, and you are a private. And no, I will not stop 'harassing' him, not that that's what I'm doing anyway. Eren just admitted to me in there he enjoyed my company, and wanted to be friends again, not that it's any of your business anyway. Eren is not yours Ackerman." He snarled.
"And for speaking out of term, you are sentenced to a weeks worth of helping train new recruits. Argue, and it will be a month." He smirked, and after seeing the dismay on her face, he sauntered off, feeling proud.
Mikasa, not wanting to be stuck with the new recruits for any longer, stayed quiet, and went back to cuddling her scarf like that damn thing gave her life. Levi had to admit to himself, as petty as it was, he wanted a scarf from a Eren too. Or any item of clothing to be honest. He would probably wear it in his sleep.
XXX
THE NEXT MORNING
Eren blinked his eyes open, and once again was met with the ceiling of the medical centre. He sniffed and sat up, but regretted it instantly, as his head started swimming with pain. He groaned and rubbed it, but regretted that too as it irritated the wound. He sighed, and flopped back down onto the bed, and put his hands in the air and played with them. He was bored. He had nothing to think about, and currently no visitors. The doctor said it shouldn't take longer than three weeks for his memory's to return, and it should do so in snippets. He said something to a woman called Hanji something quietly about something called "healing abilities" and "above average recovering time". He hoped the doctor was correct. He absolutely hated not knowing who he was, and what he stood for.
He looked around for about the billionth time in the past day, and sighed. Eren wondered if the blonde boy called Armin would visit, or Mikasa. Maybe even the Captain. He hoped so. He liked Armin and Levi especially, applauded himself for choosing such great friends. Mikasa he was a bit grumpy with, after all, she had lied about Levi! She had said he was mean and inhuman, and Eren had been all to happy to believe everything. But Levi, oh what a character! He was resilient and strong, reserved and proud. Eren knew just from last night he was a good man.
So why did Mikasa hate him so much? He could already tell that Mikasa liked Eren more than a friend. And he was flattered, in fact, he may even like Mikasa back. From the three times he had met her, he did have to admit, she was very pretty and maybe a tad over protective. But there was nothing wrong with Levi- for some odd reason, he knew that. Deep down, he could tell that Levi was a good friend, it was a fact.
Armin was the first to walk in, about 45 minutes later. He greeted Eren with a broad smile, and a small wave.
"Heya Armin. How are you?" Eren grinned.
"I'm good Eren, you?" Armin questioned worriedly.
Eren shrugged. "I'm neither here nor there really- ya know. Hopefully my memory will come back soon. Then we can have proper conversations."
Armin nodded. "Hopefully." He looked down at his hands. "Eren, I know it's a bit odd, but I brought a book for you. I thought we could read it together. It's about the world outside the walls. I showed it to you when we were about ten, and be both loved hearing and imagining the world outside." He smiled and pushed a book into Eren's hands. It was leather bound, and clearly very old, but well made and holding strong.
Eren's eyes widened, and he carefully turned the page. "Yes! I want to look at it- but I can't read. I seem to remember I was illiterate anyway. Can you-" Eren looked guilty at Armin, and he smiled.
"Of course." He kicked of his long boots, and hopped up on the bed beside Eren. He started to read aloud.
"The world is a huge place, and full of many wonders. From the far stretching plaines of the desert, to the high mountains and waterfalls that flow from them, there are endless amazing places." Armin showed Eren the diagram, and turned the page, revealing the first chapter- which was about the ocean.
"This was our favourite Eren. The ocean. It was our dream to kill all the titans, then go to the ocean. Levi would come, Mikasa too, and the four of us would live happily. We would discover new animals and everything." He whispered dreamily. Erens eyes grew in wonder, and a purity of pure hope and excitement lingered in them which Armin had not seen in Eren for years.
"Wow. That's beautiful." He traced the water coloured picture with his fingers, and looked up at his friend.
"I do want to go there with you, Mikasa and Levi! That sounds wonderful! Keep reading!" He grinned. Armin nodded, proud that his book was cheering Eren up. They stayed like that for another two hours, reading and re-reading the book over and over again. And in that moment, the two boys were not soldiers, who had lost everything, and forced to grow up in order to survive, they were just two teenagers, dreaming about what could be, if only they had a little hope.
XXX
Levi was preparing for his journey back to the others, and he was, quite frankly, edging to go. He wanted to see Erwin, and be comforted by the taller man, and to comfort him. Not that he let on, but Erwin was always miserable after a mission. He was wondering if Eren would come, and he hoped not. It wasn't safe out there, and normally he knew that Eren could look after himself, but now he didn't even know what a titan really was, let alone remember his five years training. He also lacked the bloodlust and pure hatred that had kept him alive the past couple of months.
Levi sighed and rubbed his head wearily. His horse, who was currently being saddled up, licked Levi affectionately, sensing his sadness and wanting to cheer him up. Levi gave it a pat on the head, before walking off to say goodbye to Eren.
On his way he thaught about what Mikasa had said to him last night. He was ten years older, but was that a problem? It shouldn't be, or, he hoped it shouldn't be. He didn't want it to be, he had far to many issues concerning Eren in the first place. Like how he could so easily fall in love with Armin this time, or God forbid, Mikasa. Levi knew he would have to act fast, and try to win Eren over if he wasn't going to loose him. He couldn't loose anyone he loved again, there was only so much Levi could take.
The medical centre was busier now the casualties from yesterday had started pouring in. Levi opened the door and was met with once again a horrible site. There were people with their eyes gauged out, people with no limbs, people with smashed open heads- though none were as bad as Eren's- and they were all screaming with pain. He realised that the medical centre must again be full, hence why these people were being treated in the corridor and not wards.
At the sight of him many of the soldiers attempted a salute, but failed, and this just made the sight even worse. Levi saluted back to them however, and gave them a nod before trudging through to Eren's room, keeping his eyes averted as best as possible. He couldn't look in their eyes.
He opened the door, and was met with a horrible shock. Eren wasn't there, and in his place, a female soldier with half of her leg gone, and bleeding all over the bed sheets. He saluted her quickly before running out the room, and going in search for Eren's doctor. He found him treating a teenager, not much older than 13.
"Where's Eren? tell me now." He spat, and the doctor once again jumped about ten feet in the air.
"Ah, C-Captain. He was, um, discharged because, well um, he wasn't, well.."
"HE WAS WHAT?" Levi yelled.
"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE? DID YOU THINK ABOUT ASKING ME FIRST?"
The doctor looked around desperately for help, but received none.
"Well, he, he wasn't in pain, and you see, these people needed the room more than he..." he muttered.
"WHAT? THAT BOY COULD JUST ABOUT REMEMBER HOW TO FUCKING WALK, AND YOU SENT HIM OUT, WITHOUT A FUCKING THOUGHT ON HOW HE WOULD REACT!" He hollered over the screams.
"I don't have time for this." He muttered, and shooting one last terrifying look at the doctor, he jogged out.
'Where could he be?' Levi thought desperately. Maybe the horse stables, or the market- and that's when he realised. He would be with Mikasa. In her room. It was without a doubt where he was, Levi knew it.
He ran there, and flung open the wooden door, to see Eren sat on Mikasas bed while she brushed his hair. A dangerous mixture of anger and jealousy flushed over him, and he stepped into the room, a menacing look on his face.
"Levi!" Eren smiled, but he soon stopped when he saw the smaller mans face.
"What's the matter?"
Levi pointed to the space next to him. "Come here Eren." Eren got up, and shot a confused look at Mikasa before slowly walking over to Levi. Levi nodded at him, and then took another step towards Mikasa. That's when the two younger recruits realised who Levi was after. Mikasa stood up.
"I thought that I had sent you to help the new recruits Ackerman." He stated. It wasn't a question, but Mikasa did not back down. She too stepped foreword, and Eren swallowed deeply.
"You did." Mikasa answered.
"Then whey are you here?"
"Didn't want to, Captain." She sneered.
"And so you took apron yourself to look after Eren?" Levi snarled back. At the sound of his name, Eren stepped in the middle of the two, and waved his hands.
"Please! I don't want you to fight. You are both my friends." Eren pleaded.
"That's exactly it Eren!" Mikasa snapped. "I have had enough of being your friend. And yes, I'm admitting it. I am in love with you. Since the moment we killed those three men, I have always that of you of more than a friend. But I knew you were in love with Levi, so I kept quiet. But he missed his chance." She looked at Levi with such a fierceness that Eren had to look away. Levi however, did not.
Eren put his hand on Mikasa's shoulder. "I'm sorry, but I don't even remember that. I do think you are very pretty and kind, but you are really just a stranger. I'm sorry." He gave a small smile, but Mikasa just remained silent.
"Maybe when I get my memory back, we can discuss this all then- yes?" He prompted. Neither Levi nor a Mikasa acknowledged.
"Mikasa Ackerman, for going against my orders, on purpose, I am bringing you to Commander Smith, who will deal with you appropriately. I would be scared." Levi mundanely said.
"Saddle up Ackerman. We are leaving for the others. Bring Arlert. Eren, stay here until further notice." He walked out, and Mikasa followed silently, knowing better than to do a runner now.
Levi was getting ready to go, when a male soldier, no older than 20 ran up to him, and thrust a scroll in his face.
"From Commander Erwin." He panted, then collapsed on the floor, clearly having run far past his limit. Levi frowned and took the scroll. If Erwin was sending foot messengers, something had to have happened.
With shaking hands he opened the scroll, terrified that his best friend was injured or in trouble in some way.
Captain Levi,
About two hours after you left, the barricades faltered, and collapsed. As a result, over 80% of the soldiers here have been killed as there is not enough back up or gear. We are sitting ducks, and I regretfully have to ask you, that despite his situation, you bring Eren Jäeger to come. He our last hope. As a friend, I am sorry. Hurry.
Commander Erwin.
Levi dropped the scroll, and let out a quiet cry. Why? Why? Not Eren! No! The boy was having trouble standing on his own two feet- he would be killed for sure! But Erwin was in danger! He let out a cry again, and put his head in his hands. He was fucking well going to kill every last titan once he got out there, for making him choose between friendship and love.
But 80%? After quick maths, Levi realised that there must be only 18 people left. Well that settled it. He would bring Eren, and just have to keep him alive. He could not afford Erwin to die- after all, Erwin was all he had left of Farlan and Isabel.
But if Eren died while in the process of battle now, Levi couldn't promise he wouldn't willingly follow. Not anymore.
An old commerade had said love was a sickness, and it ate away at you inside, until it had complete control over whoever it had infested. That once caught, you would die with it. And Levi was preparing for death, all to willing to kill himself if it meant Eren and Erwin could live.
