a/n: no song insp for this one. this one has a couple "windows" - a literal one, a window into Mina's past, her thoughts, mina gets a peek into Shika's team dynamic... idk mostly i just didnt know what to name this chapter lul. anyhoo.


When Mina saw him walk in, her first thought was to wonder if he was a regular at Shushuya. She'd befriended the regulars at the tea shop she also worked at, but she'd only recently picked up shifts here and so wouldn't know yet if he frequented the restaurant. If he did come to Shushuya often then … well she'd figure out how she felt about that later. For now, she was making her way to their table, biting the inside of her cheek and trying to convince herself that she didn't feel awkward at all. There was no reason to right? After all, he was just a guy that didn't even know who she was. That she kissed. Which he returned.

Pretending she wasn't thinking about any of that, Mina took in a breath and smiled as she asked him his order. Her own nervousness dissipated when she saw that he was clearly feeling awkward and not very good at hiding it. She almost laughed out loud at just how bad he was at pretending to keep his cool. For some reason, the fact that he was flustered by her put her own nerves at ease. Was that mean? Maybe a little. But she found it amusing nonetheless.

As she was walking into the kitchen to pick up their order, she heard one of his friends yell, "Dude your face is turning pink you definitely…" and then the kitchen door shut behind her.

Her laugh escaped her now, a sharp exhale accompanying her smile.

One of the cooks asked her what was funny. She dismissed his question with a quick wave of her hand before picking up the tray.

When she returned to the table, she introduced herself after he - Shikamaru, that is - fumbled out his words. His friends were Ino and Chouji, and Mina was glad to know that Shikamaru seemed to have close company and wasn't entirely alone in the aftermath of the war. She wondered if this was his team.

As she served them throughout the night, their interactions reminded her of her own - well, her previous - team. Kaoru and Hinami were good to her, but she rarely saw the two of them anymore since retiring herself from the shinobi life. When she first decided after the war that she wouldn't continue as a ninja, guilt nagged at her because she was causing her team to disband. The two had been supportive however, understanding Mina's need to grieve over her family. Losing her whole family was such a shift in her life that Mina didn't feel as if she could hold on to any of the things she had before.

She moved out of their home as soon as she could find a place for herself. She quickly resigned as a shinobi and took up tasks of civilian life to occupy her time. There was a time she isolated herself from her two closest friends, not wanting anything to remind her of pre-war life because it stirred up the ache of missing her family. She reached a point where even her own appearance brought her sorrow; she felt so different from who she had been before the war. After all, back then she was a daughter and a sister. But without a family, could she even claim those as parts of her identity?

In the months she spent in isolation, Mina had chopped off inches from her hair and knew she had lost a noticeable amount of weight. When she finally made efforts to reconnect with Kaoru and Hinami, she ignored the worry that was in their eyes every time they glanced at her when they thought she wasn't paying attention. The day they reunited, Hinami wailed as she clung to Mina's neck. Kaoru pried the crying girl away, and grabbed the hands of both his friends and led them to Ichiraku. Both girls commented about not having appetites, but Kaoru had fiercely declared that he didn't care how pushy he was being, they were going to eat because food brought people together and that was that.

From where she was standing behind the bar, Mina glanced at Shikamaru's table again. Chouji had picked up a napkin and was wiping at his eyes, but the other two were smiling, their eyes alight with laughter. Suddenly, Chouji cried out, "it was so delicious!" Mina thought of Hinami as Chouji continued to dab away his tears. Even though Chouji's enthusiasm for food was a similarity to Kaoru's wn, Mina was much more reminded of Hinami. Soft hearts that care a lot, emotion - and tears - put forth into things they felt passionate about.

"Hey, lady."

Mina looked over at the man seated at the bar. He was waving an empty glass at her and she had the urge to roll her eyes. In her opinion, he'd already had too much to drink, but he repeatedly insisted on having 'just one more.'

One of her coworkers gave him a new glass and Mina provided him with a cup of water, hoping that he'd drink that as well. He didn't.

After about another hour, the man finally looked like he'd realized he was at -or past - his limit and Mina began to clean up his area. In her periphery, she noticed Ino walk out the front door. Hoping to at least wave bye to Shikamaru, Mina looked up and her eyes met his for just a second.

He slid his eyes away quickly and leaned himself against the wall next to the bathroom.

Was he waiting on Chouji?

Mina joined him; apparently he didn't notice her walking over, and was surprised when she appeared at his side to ask about Chouji. If he was feeling sick, she had some remedies behind the bar that could help.

Shikamaru said his friend was fine, though. Although he seemed less tense than earlier, he still had some trouble keeping eye contact, and she noticed him glance at her lips.

She realized then that she had leaned in closer to him and maybe he was worried that she'd spring one on him again. Even though he returned her kiss that day, Mina understood that maybe he was wary of another impulsive act. Just because he accepted it once didn't mean that he often exchanged affection with strangers.

She tried to lighten the air with a laugh and reassured him before she walked away.

Mina ended up leaving the restaurant before he did, leaving it to the other staff to close up the restaurant. As Shikamaru was seeing his two friends off, Mina slipped past him and headed home for the night.

She had only walked a couple of blocks when a figure covered in the shadow of a building called out to her in a slurred voice.

"Hey! Lady!"

Mina ignored him as she walked past, not wanting to deal with the comments of a drunk man.

He shot out a hand and tried to grab her wrist. He missed, stumbled forward, and ended up latching onto the hood of her jacket. Mina stopped walking, feeling the tightness of his grip on her jacket and not wanting to cause it to rip.

He sidled up to her, warm breath against her ear as he grumbled out some phrases that made Mina's stomach roll. The man brought his other arm around from behind in an attempt to hold Mina, and in that moment Mina heard another voice from further behind them yell, "Hey!"

Whoever it was, Mina didn't need their help.

In a fluid stream of motion she slid out of her jacket, stepped away, and grabbed a hold of the man's forearm. She flipped him onto his back as she simultaneously rolled her eyes.

He coughed out a string of curses as he fought against the weight of her foot on his chest.

Mina stepped down harder as she leaned down to tug her jacket out of his grip.

"You're disgusting," she sneered, "and it's not just because you're drunk."

Removing her foot from the man, she looked up to see who her would-be savior was.

Shikamaru was standing a few feet away, mouth slightly agape and surprise in his eyes.

"Oh, um.." Mina wasn't sure what to say. It's not like she needed to thank him for being there. "Hi."

The drunk man crawled onto his feet and stumbled off with a parting glare in Mina's direction.

Shikamaru watched him leave until he was out of sight, then turned to Mina.

"You okay?"

"Just annoyed." She eyed him, wondering if he lived in the same area as she did. She tilted her head in the direction she was heading. "Want to walk me home?"

Her own breath caught at her words, because she meant to just ask if he wanted to walk together. She didn't need him to walk her home, but she had been imagining that to be the case. Whoops.

Shikamaru made a noise as if he was clearing his throat. "You seem like you can take care of yourself." He put his hands into his pockets and shifted.

An amused scoff escaped her and she clarified, "Not for protection. For company. If we're going the same way, let's just walk together."

Shikamaru hesitated and his gaze trailed to the left. "I, uh, live in the other direction."

"Oh." Mina shrugged. "Okay. Have a good night, Shikamaru!"

She turned and walked away first.

Before turning another corner, Mina glanced back to where he had been standing and was confused to see him still there. He was looking up into the sky, head tilted back. He jolted upright when she called out his name, asking if everything was okay. He nodded and clumsily turned and walked in the direction opposite her.

When Mina arrived at home, she opened a window to let in some fresh air and made herself a cup of herbal tea - something to ease her mind and body for bed. She ran through the details of her day as she lay in bed. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures- she imagined each sense as she experienced them today. To avoid her mind wandering to grim memories, Mina had formed this habit to occupy her thoughts before sleep. It was effective in the moments before slipping into unconsciousness, but once asleep Mina never had control over where her mind went in her dreams.

Within this past year, the nightmares had become less frequent and she was grateful for more nights of restful sleep.
But tonight was going to be far from restful.

Mina's dream began in the front yard of her family home. Kaoru and Hinami were at her side, the three of them having just returned from a mission. In reality, her friend's didn't live next to her, but in the dream their houses were adjacent to her own. Mina stood smiling as her two friends walked through their respective front doors, greeted by their parents. As soon as their doors closed behind them, Mina was suddenly standing in the front hall of her house, and the lighting had gone from sunny to eerie and dusky. Her smile fell from her face - no one around for her to try to convince of feigned cheerfulness. The house was empty and the silence rang in her ears. Her body began to tremble, and as her knees buckled in, Mina sank to the floor crying.

Her sobbing increased in intensity and then everything went black as she curled up against the door and pressed her face into her knees. Then, overlapping her heaving gasps was a deep, repetitive pounding. Slow at first, but as she fought to ignore the noise that sounded too much like the blast that took her brother, the pounding rose in speed and volume. Just when it was becoming nearly deafening, the sound of the heavy blows shifted into an extended, high-pitched tone and then Mina was awake and now aware that she had been screaming in her sleep.

Mina rolled to her side and pulled the blanket tighter around herself, realizing she had forgotten to close the window before falling asleep but too tired to get up and close it. She was about to sigh heavily but choked on her air as a series of three pounds resounded through her apartment.

A groan rumbled in her throat as she cringed at the thought of a concerned neighbor standing at her door. If she had closed her window, she probably would have sufficiently soundproofed her home, protecting both her privacy and the nerves of her neighbors. Her eyes were still tearing up from the lingering emotions of her nightmare, so Mina didn't open her door to speak to whoever was on the other side.

"Hey, I just had another nightmare. Don't worry about anything!" The knocking stopped as she assured them of this. "Sorry if I woke you!"

There was a pause, and then the person spoke her name, his voice a low rumble that was familiar only because she'd heard him speak recently.

"Mina?"

Mina blinked at the sound of his voice, wondering how Shikamaru ended up here. She hesitated for a moment, then decided to open the door, forgetting that her eyes were still misty with tears.

"Hi." She tried to smile, but when her vision blurred she swiped at her eyes to scrub away the tears. She faked a yawn so she could pretend the tears were from that.

"You okay?" Shikamaru regarded her with uncertainty in his eyes and a worried pull to his brows.

"Yeah, I'm fine.. But what are you doing here?"

He seemed confused by her question. "I was walking past and I heard screaming. So I wanted to check on whoever it was."

"Huh?" Mina clearly remembered Shikamaru informing her that he lived in the other direction. Which was why they didn't walk together.

He must've realized the contradiction; his eyes widened and the back-peddling his thoughts must have been doing was apparent on his face. "I realized I actually do live in this direction…" His excuse fell flat, not convincing to either of them.

Mina shifted beneath the blanket she still had draped over herself, suddenly uncomfortable as a handful of insecurities tumbled into her thoughts. Maybe he actually disliked her and the awkwardness she perceived - and found slightly endearing - at the restaurant was because he didn't want to interact with the stranger who jumped him with that kiss. Maybe she really did make up that feeling of a "shared moment" between them. Maybe he didn't actually kiss her back, and that was just her holding onto him that day..?

Mina huffed - at him or herself?

"Well you can head on home now. Good night, Shikamaru."

He nodded in acknowledgement.

She pressed the door shut, closed the window, and pulled the blanket over her head as she crawled onto her bed.

As she lay under the covers, she realized the chances of running into Shikamaru again were low. He was a shinobi; she doubted their paths would cross often especially if he intended to avoid her.

She muttered under her breath, with a hint of bitterness, "Good bye, Shikamaru."