Heya. Right I am so sorry about not getting this up- but I had writers block- so yeah. Feel free to have a go at me in comments. How are we all? Has everyone seen the release dates for the OVA's? If not they are,
8th December 2017,
9th April 2018 and
9th August 2018.
Aghhh- so excited! This chapters a bit rubbish, will try to do better next time. Sorry. Please remember to review!
Disclaimer- come on, It's not mine.
Warnings- nothing much- for once.
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ERENS POINT IF VIEW
Armin was dead. Dead. Eren kept sating this over and over again to himself as he walked with his Commander and - it just wasn't fair how someone as sweet and cute as Armin ended up dead, and someone like Eren, a lier and hopeless monster got to live. R
He looked down at his feet and fumbled with the material from his cape, traint not to cry. He couldn't cry at the moment, he had to keep his promise. He would allow himself to scream and wail when the titans were all dead. Every single one.
The rain was streaming down like a shower, a very cold shower. Eren had trouble seeing where Levi was hobbling next to Erwin, let alone ten meters in front of him. He was petrified. At any second, anything could come sneaking out of the gloom and grab him, he wouldnt even hear it coming for the torrents of water thrumming down were so loud. So loud it hurt his already painful head.
It felt so heavy, like it was an effort to keep it up. He hoped that would go away in time.
"Eren." His head shot up to see Levi trying to speak to him over the rain.
"Yes Sir?" He replied, feeling rather scared of the shorter man.
"I wanted to apologise again. I- I dont know if you remember, but I am not really the nicest person Eren. In fact- Im horrible. I am easily angered and am always on the edge. I am sorry I keep lashing out at you. I don't want to kill you. I like you" He yelled over the loud thrum of the rain.
"And- I just wanted to tell you that if you dont want to be friends anymore- I understand. And I will leave you alone. But if you do- so do I."
Eren thaught for a while. He could tell that Levi had been to Hell and back from his time in the Survey Corps, and that was probably what had made him like this. From what he could tell, nobody in this job was completely sane.
He did like Levi. In an odd way- it was like he even liked the broken parts of him. But he didn't want to keep getting beaten up.
Oh, why did he care? It didn't matter if he was friends with the Captain or not, Armin was dead. Whatever he did wouldn't bring the smiling blonde back. He honestly didn't care either way.
"Yes, alright. Whatever Captain." He said, and kept looking at his shoes. So he was rather shocked when he felt Levi's hand entwine with his. But he didnt show any emotions or hold Levi's hand back, so his just sat there. Levi's hand was cold and wet from the rain, but there was still a warmth hiding behind it.
"Eren, I'm sorry about Armin. I really am." Levi mumbled.
"Sorry won't bring him back. Nothing will." Eren replied, in a rather bitter way.
Levi looked up at Eren in a way that the boy couldn't read, then away. He let go of Eren's hand, and turned to go back to Erwin. Eren just kept walking, not caring or missing Levi's presence. The rain continued to fall.
XXX
It was about two hours later the rain had finally let up. The small party had crossed the wall and were now walking across titan territory bound for home. They still had about eight miles to go, and already darkness could be seen closing in. Eren was slightly worried they wouldn't make it back.
Levi still hadn't moved to talk to Eren or walk with him, and he had instead chosen to walk next to Erwin. Eren was now wishing he could still be there with Levi. He knew he had mistreated Levi, and pushed him away earlier, but he still was finding it hard to care.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the necklace he had taken off Armin. It really was beautiful, with it's almost glowing blue crystal and silver swirls. He wondered where Armin had got it. He hoped he would remember later on.
"Eren, we need to pick up the pace if we are gunna make it back before dark." The Commander called over. Eren nodded, and sped up a bit. He really didn't want to be stuck out here when it was dark, it was scary enough as it was. Not being able to see where you going would be petrifying. Just knowing that anything could jump out at any time and attack. The hairs on Eren's back rose, and he subconsciously shuffled closer to Levi and Erwin.
"Hm. Getting dark." Levi mumbled looking up at the sky. Eren fought the urge to clap and say 'great observation Captain!'. Instead he just nodded.
"Indeed Levi. We should be back within an hour and a half if we pick up the pace a tad- can you do that?" Erwin asked, peering down at Levi's bandaged foot. Eren couldn't care less about Levi's foot.
"Yes, we don't want that getting hurt- do we?" He said in a mocking voice. Erwin shot him a warning glance, and he looked down at his feet. Time to shut up.
Levi ignored Eren, and replied with a quiet yes.
Eren glanced up and smiled weakly at the break in the misty clouds. The stars were plentiful and shining bright like a million sapphires, and Eren was once again reminded of the promise of the ocean with his friends, now shattered into pieces and swept into piles into Eren's mind. He clutched Armin's necklace, and whimpered. He missed him. It had been only a few hours and he was already missing him so, so, much. He knew it would only get worse as time went by. Tears were now sliding silently down his face. Eren didn't care.
All he wanted was for this to be over- he wanted to remember everything, even the bad bits, and just be free of these horrible walls. He wished that he hadn't been thrown into this horror story reality, and he could just live a life where he could love who he liked without worrying about them being killed, or go outside and not expect to be eaten alive, or a world where humanities only hope at staying alive was so few in numbers, they had to recruit children to fight. He just wanted to curl up in his mothers arms- whoever she was- and go to sleep.
He wasn't crying as silently now, he making ugly sobbing noises, and his nose was running. He wiped it on his jacket.
"You know, I read somewhere that broken people are the most beautiful." Erwin suddenly sighed. Eren looked up from his jacket, shamelessly blubbering. Had Erwin been watching him all this time?
"But I don't think that's true. I think the most beautiful people are the ones who have been broken, but keep going despite that."
"How poetic." Levi mumbled. He rolled his eyes visibly, and carried on with his determined limping.
"I'm just saying Eren, don't give up just yet. You are young and still have lots going for you."
"Like what?" Eren sniffed.
"Like Mikasa. Like Levi. Like your memories." Erwin replied.
"S'pose."
"Not suppose, you do." Levi chipped in. "Until every single thing you love has been taken from you, or left, you keep going. For their sake."
Erwin grinned at this.
"You just proved my point Levi. The most beautiful ones don't stop."
Levi, realising his mistake, just tutted and crossed his arms. Eren considered Erwin's words, but kept quiet. He continued walking, and prayed they would get back quickly.
XXXX
Much, much later, the wall was finally within sight and Eren nearly cried from relief. The bright flame torches lighting the tops had an almost homely feel to it, and it really was a sight for sore eyes. Finally the gate was pulled up for them, and the quaint city of Trost lay before them. The moon was high in the sky by now, and it reflected on the city beautifully.
"Eren, because of your condition, and what just happened, you will be sleeping with one of us tonight. I do not care who, that is your choice." Erwin said.
"Levi." Eren replied without even thinking. Wait- what? He was angry with Levi! Why had he said that? But it was too late, Erwin had already wished his goodnights- and promises to meet in the morning when they had all had more sleep. Levi and Eren stood there looking awkwardly at each other for a while, and then Levi muttered a 'come on then', and he started leading the way to where he lived.
Eren was shocked to see that Levi didn't live in the normal grand houses that officers were offered, but instead he lived in an old, battered-down upstairs of a miniature house. It was a snug apartment, with three rooms, a bedroom, bathroom, and a resting room with a small cooking erea. Levi lit the candles, and drew all of his shutters. He then faced Eren.
"You take the bed. I will have the floor in here." Levi stated.
"What? No way. I'm your subordinate, I take the floor that's how it works." Eren replied stubbornly, and as if to prove his point he sat down in front of the fire Levi had lit.
"You know what- let's just share the bed. Just- just let's just pretend the others not there- ok?" Eren realised this meant- we don't hug. He was more than happy with that.
"Fine- whatever." He said, and padded off to the bedroom. Levi followed.
Eren removed his jacket, and placed his key next to it on the bedside table, before getting into bed. He left Armin's pendant hang freely round his neck. That wasn't coming off. The feel of a mattress was very much welcomed, and he buried under it- ignoring Levi's glare boring into the back of his head. He doubted he was going to sleep, but the rest was much needed.
"Please turn around- I want to look at you." Levi whispered. Eren turned around. Levi's hair was falling in his eyes and onto the pillow he was resting on, and he was gazing at Eren with an odd fascination. Eren suddenly wanted to forgive Levi, for everything he had ever done.
"I am so, so sorry about Armin. I really am." He wispered. "And about my actions. I can tell you are still pissed you know- I'm not blind." Eren had thought as much.
"Hm. Yeah. I really do forgive you now." Eren mumbled, and he closed his eyes. He could feel Levi still looking at him, but he was so, so tired, that despite the traumatic events of the day, he soon feel into a fitful sleep.
XXX
Where- where was he? Moonlight was falling over the rolling hills before him like a blanket, but at the same time, rain was pouring from the sky so heavily it was like someone was wringing out a wet sponge. His hair and torso was so wet, drops of water was running down his face and legs. Except this water was red, blood red. He tried to wipe it off, but it only started to smear everywhere, and if it possible, it started to get thicker.
Out of the darkness a boy walked, and confronted him. He too had the blood pouring down him, except his was coming out of his tear ducts. His blonde hair was flattened with the rain, and his once blue eyes grey. The boy looked at him, and cocked his head, then opened his mouth and screamed.
He covered his ears with his hands, but soon moved them in disgust when he found they too were bleeding. The scream was loud, so, so loud. It was going to burn his ears. Then out of nowhere, the blonde boy dropped to the floor, lifeless, but still screamed, although dead. He had to run, had to get away from that noise, but wherever he went, the blood that was pouring down his body got thicker and thicker until he had trouble seeing. Then it all went black.
A/N Yeah- if you can't tell, that last bits Eren dreaming.
