Author's Note:
Hello, beautiful people! I'm sorry it's taken a while to finish this, but I had more trouble writing it than the previous chapters. Writing dialogue scenes frustrates me because I want to fully describe the scene and accurately portray characters' emotions, but if I go into too much detail it'll ruin the flow of the dialogue. It's a balance I'm still trying to get the hang of, so please let me know how you feel about how this dialogue is written! I would love and appreciate you forever;)
Thank you so much for your reviews! You seriously blow my mind; last chapter got SIX! You've all been so sweet and kind, and you have no idea how much it means to me. I wish you could see the stupid little dance I do whenever I read your messages. It's super embarrassing;)
This chapter picks up where the last one left off, so I really suggest you reread at least the last part of chapter two before this one. Hope you enjoy it! Love, thanks, and much appreciation. ~R
Ezra quickly slammed the door shut behind him as he all but fell into the driver's seat, somewhat breathless from his watery sprint to the car; and from Aria's presence. As he turned to set the heavy bag Aria had thrown at him before she'd run into the rain just a minute earlier on the backseat, he let out a bemused chuckle. A wet and shivering Aria sat in the passenger seat, her perfectly painted bare toes resting on the dash as she fiddled with the dials on the console in an attempt to heat up the car. The sight was priceless.
"What?" she asked at the sound of his laughter, leaning back into her seat as warm air finally came blasting through the vents. "I'm cold! If you haven't noticed, I'm drenched," she defended herself as she gestured to her rain-soaked ensemble, unable to hold in a laugh of her own as she met his smiling face.
"Yeah," Ezra rolled his eyes at her silliness, "I may have noticed." For, however wet and cold Aria was, Ezra was at least twice as wet and cold, and they both knew the other was aware of this fact.
As warm air continued to fill the car, so did silence. Ezra didn't know what exactly he should do next. He had originally planned on asking Aria if she wanted to catch up over a drink – coffee maybe – he knew how much she loved caffeine. But now, as they sat there, both soaked and chilled to the bone, he realized neither of them was in any condition to enter a coffeeshop. He knew they would have to go to her apartment, wherever that was, so that they could both change clothes, but, at the same time, he didn't want to invite himself over so soon after their reunion when they hadn't so much as spoken in four years.
Ezra had just begun mulling over the somewhat farfetched idea of stopping to change at a gas station when Aria interrupted the silence. "You can change at my place," she spoke, seemingly reading his mind. Her now sufficiently thawed feet dropped from the dash as she shifted her eyes to the time displayed between them.
5:57 PM.
"It's past the worst of traffic," she continued, her eyes moving to meet Ezra's. "And I know a shortcut that bypasses the main roads, so it shouldn't take us too long."
"Okay," Ezra gave a relieved nod of affirmation to her invite, "lead the way." He chuckled internally at his words as he shifted the car into 'drive,' following along as Aria pointed out directions to him. If only she knew that he'd follow her anywhere.
The ride to Aria's apartment, although relatively uncongested, was still rather slow. Water continued to assault the windows all around them as Ezra once again found himself leaning forward uncomfortably, his fingers wound tightly around the steering wheel. He squinted in order to make out the road before them while Aria sat beside him in silence, only speaking up to point out the various turns on their route. The silence was calm and comfortable though. It was nice and – although neither would likely admit it – completely necessary. Ezra didn't want their first real conversation in years to happen while he was distracted with trying to safely transport them through a storm, and Aria needed a bit of silence to process their situation so that she could figure out how she felt about it. After all, she hadn't had the benefit of a six hour drive to contemplate their impending reunion.
"Take a left at this light," Aria directed, still deep in thought.
As Ezra quickly complied with her direction, Aria turned to look out her window, her mind racing with thoughts and questions. She was so thrilled yet so overwhelmed all at once. It almost didn't seem real that Ezra was sitting just two feet away from her. But, she realized as her eyes tore from the window and landed on his hunched and squinting form, this was entirely real. It wasn't just wishful thinking, and it wasn't just a magnificent dream; it was reality. It was her – their – reality, and this thought alone lit a warmth within Aria that spread across her skin and through her extremities, easily replacing any chill that might have lingered in her bones. But, for as thrilled as Aria was, she was just as confused.
She found it quite ironic that today, of all days, was the day the sky had decided to collapse on Boston; because the torrential downpour outside perfectly mirrored the flood inside her head. She watched in fascination as water tore from the clouds, engulfing the city in a seemingly infinite aqueous curtain. And, all the while, the only lucid thought she could muster was that this – the airborne monsoon before her – must be a tangible projection of her brain upon the city. Countless thoughts and questions about Ezra's unexpected reentrance into her life inundated her mind, all pooling and swirling together into one big indiscernible blob of confusion, just as the raindrops falling through the air – once entirely separate from one another – now converged into a single indecipherable river on the pavement. It was all a blur. And, despite her greatest efforts, she couldn't tell any one thought or question apart from the others, much like she couldn't make out the individual water molecules among the drenched streets.
A small, curious smile slipped through her confusion and onto her lips. It would be ridiculous by anyone's standards to try to distinguish one drop of water from another in a river. In fact, the idea was beyond ridiculous. It was preposterous; impossible. When you look at a river, you don't focus on the complexity of its parts; you focus on the river as a whole. And once you leave that river, all that matters is how it made you feel.
Aria's eyes lifted from the slick sidewalks to the sky. If clouds could be described in terms of human emotions, these would be sad, angry; nothing but doom and gloom. They were dark and foreboding. But that's not how Aria felt.
It was true; the downpour mirrored her own confusion in many ways. It was loud and turbulent – a near perfect comparison – but there was one very important difference between the chaos of her mind and the chaos of the storm raging all around her. They felt different.
The chaos bouncing around in Aria's skull, however confusing and indecipherable it was, felt good. It was exciting and wonderful and warm; it was bright and golden like the sun. And, suddenly, it didn't matter that she couldn't decipher her thoughts from her questions. She knew time would clear the clouds from her mind, just as it would clear them from the sky. All that mattered was that Ezra was with her, and that had always felt right.
Aria's gaze averted from the window to Ezra, watching as he struggled to find the road through the rain. She was in awe of him and the incredible affect his simple presence had on her. Somehow, in his absence, she had managed to forget how wonderful it was just to be beside him. It was indescribable. And, as his eyes darted to hers and then back to the road – a satisfied smirk settling on his lips, having caught her staring at him – Aria knew she would never make that mistake again. She wouldn't let herself forget this amazing feeling.
So, as the car pulled to a stop at a red light and Ezra's eyes met hers again, silently asking for their next move, Aria brushed her concerns aside and decided to embrace the crazy, confusing, breathtaking flood; both in an out of her mind.
"Turn right at the next intersection," she supplied, smiling over at him. Seizing the opportunity while they were still stopped, Aria gently lifted Ezra's hand from its place on the steering wheel and held it between them on the console, her eyes still on his. "We're almost home."
She had never spoken truer words.
Aria and Ezra soon found themselves traveling down a quaint tree-lined street which was flanked on each side by colonial-style row houses, many of which had been converted into apartments. Three months ago, Aria moved into a one-bedroom unit on the third floor of one of these buildings, and, despite the fact that it was quite cramped, she loved her little home. It only had two windows, and the water heater was constantly on the fritz, but it was all hers. And, no matter what, she was proud of her tiny shoebox.
Once Ezra had pulled the car to a stop in front of Aria's building, the pair hastily grabbed their belongings and wasted no time before plunging into the rain. They reasoned that the sooner they entered the storm, the sooner they would exit it and, thus, the sooner they would be dry. Aria led the way as the two ran up the front steps, pausing only briefly to unlock the exterior door before they trudged up the two flights of stairs to her third floor residence.
"Well, this is it," Aria exclaimed as she flung open her front door and waltzed inside, turning around just in time to watch Ezra cross the threshold behind her. She dropped her rain-covered work bag on the kitchen table, an excited grin filling her face as she spread her little arms out as wide as she could, showing off her modest home to him. "Home, sweet home!"
Ezra chuckled at the adorable, expectant expression Aria looked at him with as he followed her inside, slinging his overnight bag – which was almost as wet as he was – onto the table beside hers.
"So," she began, her eyes glimmering up at him, "what do you think?"
It took every ounce of strength Ezra had to peel his eyes away from her – for, as much as he was interested in admiring Aria's living room, he was more interested in admiring her – but he eventually managed to divert his attention to the confined living space. His eyes darted up, down, and around the room, happily taking in his surroundings.
Aria's apartment was decidedly tiny and rather bare, but, even still, it was undeniably hers; and that meant Ezra loved it. What it lacked in furniture, it made up for tenfold in character. The walls were a soft, warm yellow that reminded him of sunbathing under the lazy summer sun, and they were lined with photographs, books, and various eclectic knickknacks with which only Aria would furnish her home.
"I like it," he smiled down at her warmly, resting a hand on the table. "It's cozy."
An amused scoff erupted from Aria's lips. "Cozy's just another word for cramped," she replied stubbornly, rolling her eyes at him as her arms crossed over her chest.
"It's not cramped," he laughed, pulling her wrists down from her chest. "It's just Aria-sized."
At his words, a sound resembling a high-pitch bark tumbled from her mouth, and she swiftly wrenched her hands from his. "You did not just say that," she retorted in mock-offense, her arms folding over her chest once again.
Despite the fact that Aria was glaring at him, Ezra couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. This was the same adorable reaction she always had when he teased her about how tiny she was. She'd always said she didn't like his teasing, but he knew it was an outright lie. Because, as much as she claimed to hate it when he teased her about her small stature, it always left her smiling. And Ezra's favorite hobby was making Aria smile, so, naturally, he took great pleasure in teasing her; then and now.
Taking a step to close the gap Aria had left between them, he wrapped her wet body in his arms – her own arms still crossed between them in defiance – and smiled down at her. Although her chin rested on his chest, her scowl remained intact. "Don't be mad at me," he whispered, brushing his forehead against hers.
"You insulted me and my apartment," she whined, a perfect pout replacing her scowl.
"No," he corrected, drawing out the word as he shook his head, "I complimented you and your apartment." When Aria's brows only knitted in confusion at his statement, Ezra simply held her tighter, smiling down at her lovingly as he gave her a whispered explanation. "Aria-sized is my favorite size."
And then, like she always did, she smiled.
But this wasn't just a smile. Aria positively beamed up at him, finally uncrossing her arms so that she could wrap them securely around his waist, her chin still propped on the damp fabric covering his chest. She didn't have to say anything in response to Ezra's admission, and neither did he. The look of admiration in both their eyes as they stood held in each other's arms next to the kitchen table – dripping water onto the rug beneath their feet all the while – was more than enough for them both.
Soon enough, though, their awe-filled moment was interrupted when a sudden gust of cool air blasted down on them, sending a chill down both of the wet pair's spines. Their heads shot up to the ceiling in search of the culprit; it was an air vent located, quite inconveniently, directly above the kitchen table. Aria shivered in Ezra's arms as the cold breeze continued to beat down on them.
"We should probably change now," he suggested, his eyes falling from the ceiling to hers.
"Definitely," she agreed, nodding her head vehemently. "You can change in the bathroom," she unraveled her arms from his torso to gesture toward a small hallway behind her, where Ezra assumed the room in question was located. "The washer and dryer are by the shower, so just throw these," she playfully pinched the fabric of his shirt, "in the dryer when you're done."
Ezra stepped back from Aria to grab his duffel from the table but quickly paused, his hand stopping midair over the bag as her words fully registered with him. "Wait," he turned back toward her, his tone equal parts curious and shocked, "you have a washer and dryer in here?" Aria merely gave an affirmative nod in response. "Wow," he mused, now thoroughly impressed, "not too bad for your first place, Montgomery."
"I know, right? I have a washer and dryer inside my apartment and my bed isn't in my kitchen?" she sarcastically teased, poking fun at his post-college living arrangements. What Aria didn't know, however, was that Ezra's post-college home was his current home.
"Hey! I didn't insult your home, so don't insult mine!" he retorted, much like she had just moments ago, in amused mock-offense.
Something about his words struck Aria, though, her smile quickly dwindling into a confused line. His home? As in, where he lived now? Still, after all this time? Her brow furrowed in intrigue as she replayed his statement in her mind just to make sure she hadn't misheard him. She hadn't. Ezra had used the present tense to describe the home she had always assumed he'd left behind long ago; apartment 3B, their refuge from the world. She stole a slow, deep breath, her chest swelling sanguinely as, for the first time in years, she allowed herself to entertain the idea that little 3B might still be Ezra's home.
"You still live there?" she questioned lowly, searching his eyes for answers as she attempted to quell the hopeful glint she felt rising in her own.
"I do," he replied simply, his eyes boring down into Aria's, playful demeanor forgotten.
"Why?" she whispered, staring into his eyes so intently that Ezra thought she might actually be able to read the answer from his mind.
"You know why," he returned softly, matching her ardent gaze.
But she didn't.
Why would he still live in that cramped little studio apartment after all these years? Why would he subject himself to all the wonderful, painful memories held in those walls on a daily basis? It didn't make any sense.
Or, maybe it did.
Aria's eyes fell to his chest, unable to stop the mental dots from connecting in her head. She knew Ezra; he wasn't one to dwell on the past. In fact, he made a habit of running from the past – from his past. He was running from his family when he changed his name and transferred from Vassar to Hollis, and he was running from his old relationships when he withheld telling Aria about his failed engagement to Jackie and the pregnancy scare he and Maggie had after high school. And, every time he ran, it was for one reason; he wanted to forget. He wanted to forget his dysfunctional family. He wanted to forget that his selfish, overbearing mother had paid off his high school girlfriend to never speak to him again. And he wanted to forget that Jackie had used and manipulated him.
Yes, Ezra had always run from his past to forget it. So it seemed obvious to Aria that he would run from the place that reminded him of her the most; 3B. But he hadn't. And that could only mean one thing; he didn't want to forget her. He wanted to keep their wonderful memories alive, no matter how painful they were, and Aria knew their was only one reason Ezra would torture himself with daily reminders of what they used to be. He hadn't moved out because he hadn't moved on… He still loved her.
He was right; Aria did know why he never moved. She just wasn't ready to admit it; to him, or to herself.
Ezra could see these dots connecting behind Aria's eyes as her expression transformed from confusion, to contemplation, and then to shock. And, when she looked back up to him with sad, overwhelmed eyes, he wanted to kick himself. His heart sank; he had said too much and, in the process, ruined everything. He hadn't intended for her to read his love for her from his words; he'd only wanted her to know that he hadn't forsaken the place that, in so many ways, symbolized them – everything they used to have and be. But he should've known she would figure it out.
He was frozen. He wanted to take her in his arms, to tell her he was sorry for saying too much too soon, but he couldn't. He couldn't find his voice, and he was afraid he would cross another line if he tried to hold her right now. So he just stood there, watching her as she watched him, both shivering as the vent continued to blow cold air onto their wet forms. But, then, something Ezra hadn't been expecting happened; a small, warm smile graced Aria's face. And, as she reached up to cup his cheeks in her hands, he felt the ice that had frozen his limbs begin to melt.
It had taken a moment for Aria to figure out why the realization of Ezra's hidden feelings for her had upset her so much. Because she honestly wasn't sad that he still loved her; not for herself, at least. Knowing that he had missed her just as much as she'd missed him made her heart feel light, but, at the same time, it made her stomach hang heavily in her abdomen. Why though? Why would she feel such sorrow about something that gave her so much joy? And that's when the root of her sadness revealed itself to her. He hadn't just missed her as much as she'd missed him; she had missed him as much he'd missed her… Because she still loved him too. And, when you love someone, their pain is your sorrow.
That's when she'd looked up from Ezra's chest to his eyes, and, from his reaction, she knew that he was well aware of her sadness. Regret and painful discomfort were written all over his face, and she realized then that he thought he was the cause of her melancholy. But he was wrong; so wrong. She wasn't upset that he still loved her for herself; she was upset for him. Because she knew the miserable, longing ache of loving someone from afar all too well, and the last thing she wanted was for Ezra to feel guilty for loving her. She needed him to understand that he hadn't done anything wrong. So, without thinking, she'd reached up to his face, holding it in her hands.
"You're right," she whispered to him sweetly, their gazes locked. "I do know why," her thumb grazed along his cheek, "and I'm glad you didn't."
It was a simple statement, but Ezra knew Aria well enough to know that her simplest words were often the ones that meant the most. She had always liked speaking in hidden meanings, and he had always been quite adept at reading those hidden meanings from between her words. The key was reading those words in the context of her expression, so that's what he did. His eyes danced across hers. They were warm and gentle and radiated a familiar emotion he had yearned to evoke in her for so long; love.
And then he understood what she was trying to tell him.
Ezra smiled softly back at Aria, his fingers wrapping around and resting on her raised forearms. Her simple words hadn't been a confession of love – neither was ready for that – but they were all that needed to be said. She might have only told him she was glad he hadn't moved on from 3B, but Ezra understood what she really meant. Aria was glad he hadn't moved on from her… Because she still loved him too.
Ezra's heart soared, his smile broadening nearly to his ears as he returned Aria's loving gaze. No, she didn't have to tell him she loved him, because he could already feel the love in her eyes, and that was all he needed. And so much more.
As this impossibly wide and goofy grin found its way onto Ezra's face, Aria couldn't help the giddy laugh that emitted from her lips. Everything about him was beautiful to her, even the silly stuff; no, especially the silly stuff. And, at the sound of her stunning, melodic giggling, Ezra couldn't help but join in with her, their laughter echoing and coalescing into a song that seemed to dance in the air between them. She was flawless. Ezra could hardly comprehend the glee that took residence in his soul as Aria's brilliant eyes stared back at his in mirth, his fingers still grasping onto her forearms as she cradled his head in her tiny hands. And, for a minute, they stood there suspended in a singular perfect moment in time and space, wet and cold yet somehow still warm with laughter and love.
Ezra realized then that he'd been wrong earlier in the evening. Their moment in the lobby at Aria's office wasn't the long-awaited reunion he'd thought it would be. This was their reunion.
As the blissful melody of their combined laughter slowly dissipated from the air, Aria brushed her thumb along the stubble of Ezra's cheek once more before she dropped her hands, his falling from her arms in the process.
"Now that we've cleared that up," she started, the corner of her mouth lifting her smile into a smirk, "I'm about two seconds away from turning into a popsicle."
"Right," Ezra chuckled, unable – or possibly just unwilling – to wipe the stupid smile from his face, "let's get changed."
As Ezra followed her down the tiny hall to the bathroom, his bag of clothes slung over his shoulder, Aria turned her head to peak at him from over her shoulder. Her plump, pink lips donned a coy smile, and, suddenly, his knees felt weak. He shook his head at himself, feeling like a teenager again as he attempted to stop the fluttering in his heart and regain his composure by distracting himself with his watch.
6:42 PM.
He was a goner.
After only an hour in Aria's presence, he was already a lovesick puppy all over again, or maybe he always had been. Either way, he wasn't complaining, and he never would.
Aria Montgomery might be the death of Ezra Fitz, but, if she was, he would die a very happy man.
Endnote:
Whatcha think? Do the descriptions flow with the dialogue, or I should try to tone them down a bit so the dialogue isn't broken up as much? Any other thoughts? Please leave a review! I LOVE hearing anything and everything you have to say:) Thanks to everyone who reviewed on chapter two: ShanaLy, missbee21, obsessedwithezria, Lizz.R, TheCelticOne, and guest!
I had originally planned for more to happen in this chapter, but it was getting pretty long, and I thought this was a good place to stop. So I'm saving the other stuff for the next chapter;) Thanks again for reading, and keep an eye out for updates!
Omg, what's that sound? I think the review box is calling your name;)
I'm on twitter now! My handle is 'rhythmetic,' and you should definitely follow me;) Nobody else in my life understands my love for Ezria, and I welcome any opportunity to talk about PLL. So hit me up! I'll also be posting updates on my stories there:)
