The Will to Live

Maria was in middle of her morning shift, walking between beds and checking on injured men. The last two weeks found her in the hospital long after her shift ended. She had gotten used to having Georg with her the last three and a half months. Now on her own again, she found the time between shifts difficult.

She spent some time by their cliff reading the poetry book that Georg had given her. Although he was far away, she had never felt closer to him. The words he wrote gave her an insight into his soul in a way that he never bared. She cherished the book with all her heart, and prayed he would survive to share it with his children. She knew he loved them and they loved him, but somehow she felt that all would be healed if the seven Von Trapp children read their father's words.

Maria thought of them as often as she thought of their father. She still felt guilty for the way she had left them suddenly, and in truth she was deeply ashamed of her cowardice. Those precious children were tucked into bed by someone who cared for them and then woke to find her gone. During her first year in Bremerhaven, she had tried to run away from the guilt of that night by immersing herself completely in her work. But after meeting Georg, she was reminded of her terrible decision that night, and now that he was away on his mission, she was unable to forget her memories and deny the weight of her actions.

In truth, she had betrayed those children in the most terrible way. At that time, their mother was gone and their father was unable to give them any affection, and she had left them as abruptly and as coldly as any death or tragedy could do. It was only after reading Georg's book of poetry that she really understood the role she played in his children's lives. They loved her, he loved her, when no one ever loved her before. Could she make amends with them? Would they forgive her? Would she ever get the chance? Would fate intervene?

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a loud siren as the sound of an alarm was heard. The alarm indicated that a new batch of injured men were coming in. Maria stopped what she was doing, and pushed her thoughts aside as she and the other nurses quickly took their posts at the pier, waiting for the wounded as they were loaded onto gurneys.

The hospital faced the waters, making it easier to quickly move injured men from ships or submarines to the hospital. The most chaotic time at the port was when the alarm sounded and the wounded were brought in. The wave of men coming in was overwhelming, and one needed to remain calm and collected. While the subs and ships has medics on board, their training and skills was not as comprehensive as the staff at Bremerhaven. The medic's role was to try and stabilize the wounded till the doctors at the base could heal them.

She heard his name before she saw him. "Captain von Trapp is injured. Let the admiral know immediately," Maria heard someone say.

She was momentarily paralyzed, unable to move and unable to think.

"Nurse, move!"

Maria jumped and quickly ran to Georg's side as they transported him into a triage room. Under the harsh light, she was able to see him and every injury clearly.

He lay on the narrow gurney, his body limp and lifeless, except for the faint rise and fall of his chest seen beneath his tattered uniform. Most of his face was covered by an oxygen mask, and whatever part was visible was ashen gray beneath the cuts and bruises. The doctor immediately began treating the wound on his side as he barked instructions to the staff and talked to the medic who treated the captain on board. Maria took a deep breath as her eyes locked with Anna, who gave her a sympathetic nod. She went to the doctor's side to assist him, trying hard to control her emotions.

The chatter among them and the noise of instruments stopped immediately when the admiral marched into the room, followed by some of the captain's men. Rarely had the admiral visited the infirmary.

After being saluted by all, the admiral surveyed the room and turned to the doctor first. "Well, will he live?"

"He is clinging to life now. The medic closed the wound on board well, but he lost a lot of blood and there is the risk of infection," the doctor said carefully. "The next few days will be critical."

The admiral silently regarded Georg for a moment before turning to the lieutenant. "You are second in command, tell me: did you accomplish what you were instructed to do?"

"Yes, sir."

"And the captain?"

"He was shot in the shoulder at the start of the mission. He suffered various other small injuries when the ship began to sink and debris fell on him. One of the men helped him out of the cabin to the upper decks, where a second bullet hit his side after it ricocheted off the metal floor. The sailor and the captain then bailed the sinking ship and swam toward the raft waiting for them. There the captain lost consciousness from his injuries and slipped underwater. Two men dived in after him, and put him in the raft where they performed life saving CPR. Johannes, the boy who was with the captain on board, wrapped his injuries with two tourniquets that stopped the blood loss till we got back to the submarine where the medic treated him."

"This sailor had two tourniquets on him?" the admiral questioned.

"Yes, sir. He said that the captain once instructed him to always carry two with him at all times."

"Very well. I want a full written report on my desk immediately, including the names of the sailors who heroically saved the captain's life," the admiral said coldly as his eyes surveyed the room.

His calculating and penetrating gaze landed on Maria.

"Doctor, is she a skilled nurse?" he asked, his eyes never leaving Maria.

"Yes, sir."

"You are relieved of all your other duties," the admiral said. "Captain von Trapp is under your care, and you are to assist the doctor till he is well. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Maria replied, trying to insert some assurance in her voice that seemed to have left her.

Without another word, the admiral turned and marched out of the room.

The lieutenant followed after him, and the doctor released a sigh when they were all gone. "Well, you heard the admiral: the captain is all yours. Transport him to the room, clean him up, and I'll check on him in a half hour. Everyone else, there are others to look after."

Two medics helped Maria transport Georg to a small, private room. After settling him in bed, they left to treat others and Maria was alone with him. She hung up his IV bag on a hook near his bed and adjusted his oxygen mask. Carefully, she began to clean and treat the smaller wounds: bumps and bruises and various cuts that littered his unconscious form. Careful not to move him she bandaged each one. When she was satisfied, she removed his tattered uniform and took a moist sponge to clean his blood off his body. She could not help but blush as she wiped the blood off him. Although she had seen men's bodies in her work as a nurse, she never knew them. She knew Georg, and he was always dressed prim and proper. When she was a governess she never saw him without a tie, even at night. She was certain he even slept with one. Even as they became closer in Bremerhaven, he was either wearing a uniform, or a tie and a jacket. Now, only covered in a thin sheet, he seemed so exposed.

Had the situation not be so serious, and had his condition not been so dire, Maria would have laughed at herself for being mesmerized by him. She started with his face, careful to clean around the cuts and the oxygen mask, noticing how the rough stubble of his cheeks felt against her touch.

With a deep breath, she wiped blood off his chest, careful to not touch the thick bandages around his abdomen. She then cleaned the area around his shoulder wound and then worked down his arm to his left hand, which was completely brown from the dried blood. She removed his watch and pried off, with difficulty, his wedding ring. She observed how cold and limp his hand was in her grasp, hands that were always so warm and commanding. The spot on his fourth finger was pale and marked where the wedding band had its place for over twenty years. His finger seemed thinner there, as if the bone took the shape of the ring. She cleaned the ring and looked at the inscription on the plain gold band: AvT you have my heart.

Feeling suddenly guilty, as if she had entered a forbidden room, she quickly placed the ring on the clean, naked hand where it belonged. She cleaned the watch and replaced it as well. Carefully, she put his arm in a sling, immobilizing it against his chest. She then began to clean his other arm, removing his family seal ring and cleaning his hand like she did the other, but this time she worked her way up his arm to his collarbone and neck. As she wiped, her sponge caught on something. Looking closer, she saw it was a gold necklace covered in dry blood. Puzzled, she leaned over him and fingered the very fine and thin strand of gold. Her fingers snaked around his neck towards the back of his head till they clasped the small loop hanging from the necklace. She pulled it till it rested on Georg's collarbone. As she cleaned the necklace and the ring hanging from it, she realised that it was an exact match of the ring Georg wore on his wedding finger. Looking even closer, she saw the corresponding inscription: GvT you have my heart.

He still wore her ring around his neck...

After all these years...

The mother of his children...

A love that nearly destroyed him...

The ring that binded him to her forever.

The tears that threatened to fall since he was carried in unconsciously filled her eyes and furiously fell. Blindly, she finished cleaning him, dressed him in a gown, and checked that his IV and oxygen mask were in place.

Seeing the ring filled her with all of the questions and thoughts she'd had over the last two years. What was her future in all this? Even if he lived, where was her place in his life? Would his children ever forgive her? Would he ever let the past go? Could he?

She hastily wiped her tears, knowing full well that more would fall later. She stood by him, waiting for the doctor while closely watching the white sheets rise and fall with his every breath.


A/N Thank you to Bellarsam Chrisjulirating for betaing this chapter.

I just posted a one-shot titled The Ring which gives a bit of background to this chapter.

Thank you for reading and reviewing the feedback is always appreciated.