Okay, so I know I said I would maybe update frequently, but I lost my momentum, and it was winter break (got a full month off from college), so basically Netflix took over my life.

Anyway! I'm back. Thank you all for your reviews... I enjoyed and appreciated the guesses. I promise to try not to leave you hanging for too long!


Anakin sighed, staring down at his folded hands. The meeting in the former High Council Chamber had ended quite some time ago. Ancient records of certain parts of the Jedi Code had been read, reread, analyzed, picked apart, critiqued, read again, and determined to be of no help at all. Well, that wasn't entirely true. At least they knew the path they didn't want to traverse now.

This, however, was not the focus of his thoughts at this time. His conversation with Padmé the night before played repeatedly in his mind. He wished he knew where things went wrong. One thing he knew for sure was that after the birth of Amila, Padmé had become a completely different person. He tried to reach out to her, to comfort her, for he could sense her inner anguish through the Force. He wondered if she even knew, herself, how troubled she was. Most of the time, it seemed she was in denial, or at least extremely defensive. He had tried. He really had. She rejected him at every turn, and every hostile utterance sliced through him like a hot vibroblade. It was easier not to care. It was easier to close himself off to his wife. He didn't know what else to do. They slept side by side every night, yet he could not even remember the last time they had been intimate. He had become the sole initiator, and it was obvious her heart was not in it. When every kiss was met with an annoyed sigh, he withdrew from her emotionally. Part of him felt guilty for having done it. The other part realized she had forced his hand.

If he could be completely honest with himself, he would realize that his heart was broken - was being broken over and over again. That was not something he had ever thought Padmé could be capable of doing to him, and so he would not even consider the possibility.

It was in this turbulent state of mind that Ayana found him.

"I didn't expect to find you here. I was under the impression this room was some sort of torture chamber to you," she said in greeting, a wry smile pulling at her lips.

"It is." He wanted to say more but found himself unable to produce any sensible speech.

She came to a stop in front of him. "Hey. Is something wrong?" He didn't respond immediately and did not even lift his head to acknowledge her, which she apparently took as an affirmative answer. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He pondered the inquiry for a moment. "It's just..." he began, but his voice trailed away. This wasn't exactly something he wanted to discuss with Ayana. He had been unusually reticent about speaking to her when it came to his relationship with Padmé. There was no longer any reason to hide; their marriage had become public knowledge years ago. Something about Ayana left him keeping his thoughts to himself. He couldn't quite understand the reasoning behind this, and he didn't spend much time speculating about it. It may simply have been a defense mechanism; perhaps he was protecting Padmé from Ayana's trademark cynical sarcasm. Alternatively, he could have been protecting his... bond with Ayana.

He had a different sort of bond with Ayana than he did with Padmé - not better, not worse, just different. When it came to Padmé, he could touch her through the Force, sense her presence, search out her emotions. Ayana, on the other hand... she could touch back. Rather than having a comparably unsatisfying one-way connection, they shared a deeper, mutual connection in the Force. Before he even thought to reach out to her, he could feel her concurrently strong and gentle Force nudge. She was vibrant, unmistakable. She was simultaneously an enigma and a cherished friend he had known all his life. She drew him in so easily, but she could just as easily build a mental wall and shut him out whenever she so chose. It was both frustrating and thrilling in its newness. This was not a development of which he was consciously aware. Of course, he spent precious little time analyzing his thoughts and feelings these days. Introspection had become dangerous territory, though he failed to realize a lack thereof could be equally dangerous.

If he was a cautious man, he would have reflected on these facts, shown discernment, and proceeded cautiously. However, no one had ever accused Anakin of being cautious. He frequently acted without thinking too much. This was a habit he was struggling to break, but old habits die hard.

"It's nothing," he assured Ayana, shaking his head. "I'm just thinking too much."

She cast a skeptical glance in his direction, obviously not fooled in the least by his denial. He saw that familiar knowing look cross her features and disappear just as rapidly. "Okay," she allowed. "What are you doing now? I think after that last conference, everyone is done for the day."

Anakin nodded in agreement. "I do believe you are right about that. They seemed all too eager to adjourn." He checked his chrono. "It's getting late, anyway. Dinner will be served in a few hours."

"Are you staying for dinner?" she asked, clasping her hands behind her back and casually swiveling back and forth. To Anakin, she resembled a baby Loth-cat, tail wagging and eagerly anticipating a treat. He chuckled at the analogy. "What?" she questioned with a slight smile, but he shook his head again, waving his hand at her.

"It's nothing," he echoed himself. "I'm not certain if I will be staying for dinner. If we're finished early today, I would like to spend time with the children."

She nodded understandingly. "Okay, family guy. That sounds like a good plan. Meanwhile..." She hitched her thumb over her shoulder. "I've been having trouble with that training remote you gave me. I was wondering if you had time to take a look at it. That's actually why I came to find you."

Anakin nodded distractedly. "Yes, that's fine. I have a few moments."


"It's here somewhere..."

Anakin stood awkwardly just inside Ayana's bedroom. He silently watched her searching her closet for the droid in question, uncertain if he should stand or take a seat.

"Aha! Here it is! Under clothes... of course..." She blushed sheepishly as she returned, holding the training remote out for him to take.

He accepted it from her and turned it over a few times. It still seemed to be in good condition on the exterior. Pressing a few buttons, he quickly realized the problem. "The programming has been reset," he informed her. "Happens frequently with these models. It's a bug they haven't quite worked out." After he pressed a few more buttons, the droid rewarded him with a sequence of satisfied beeps. He returned the training remote to its newest owner. "Should be fine for a while. If it happens again, let me know."

Ayana tucked the training remote under her arm and looked up at him with an appreciative smirk. "Thanks a bunch, droidmaster. I knew you could fix it."

He allowed her a half smile in response. "It was nothing. Really."

For a moment, she stood there, staring up at him with an unreadable expression. He stood stock-still, unsure of how to respond and uncertain of what she expected from him. She moved first, setting the droid down on a nearby table. When she turned back to him, there was a strange intensity in her eyes. She watched him quietly for some time. He tentatively reached out in the Force and was blasted by what could only be described as a flood of emotions - very unexpected emotions.

"Ayana..." he began warily.

"Shh," she hushed him, stepping closer and pressing a finger to his lips. "Don't. Please." Her eyes searched his as if seeking something from him, though he suspected he could not give her what she wanted. He didn't have it in him to crush her feelings so he didn't push her away. It did not once cross his mind how wrong - how dangerous - this situation really was. Ayana interpreted his reluctance to leave as a sort of encouragement. He should have known - should have expected - should have sensed - what she would do next, but perhaps he was willfully ignorant.

She took another step closer, reached up, and drew his face closer until their lips met and... all rational and intelligent thought left his brain. Ayana opened herself up to him through the Force, and suddenly he could feel everything. Her admiration, her appreciation, her attraction, her lust, her raw desire - he felt everything. It was unlike anything he had ever felt. It had been a long time since he had even felt anything from Padmé. She had been closed off to him for a long time. But this... this was overwhelming and comforting and welcoming and enticing.

"What... what are you doing?" he fumbled breathlessly when their lips parted.

Her facial expression was now quite serious. She regarded him quietly, studying his face. "Anakin... I don't know how it happened, but... I'm falling for you. And I don't want to, and I know you have... obligations." He furrowed his brow, and she paused briefly. "But I know you feel something. I can sense it through the Force, and I can see it in your eyes. Just..." She looked down at his gloved hand, carefully taking it in one hand and pulling at the leather fingers with the other. She dropped the glove to the floor and gently ran her fingers down his metal prosthesis. When her eyes returned to him, they blazed with an intense hunger like he had not seen in far too long. "Just. Let. Go," she whispered.

He could not move, finding himself frozen to the spot. Again, he did not run, and he did not push her away. And so... she advanced.

When her fingers tangled themselves in his hair, he forgot why it was that he was supposed to leave, and he did just as she told him to do. He let go.


Anakin stood at the window, staring out at the city. Now that he was once more fully robed, reality began to catch up with him. She came up behind him, wearing only a dressing gown, and rested her chin on his shoulder. Her arms snaked their way around his waist. An ominous chill ran down his spine at her touch. Almost reflexively, he shook her off.

"What's wrong, Ani?" she asked, plainly taken aback by his response.

"Don't call me that," he replied gruffly.

"I'm sorry... I just thought that..."

"We shouldn't have done this," he intoned. His voice came out rougher than he intended.

"Attachment isn't forbidden anymore, Anakin."

He whirled on her, his eyes dark and foreboding. "That is not what I meant, and you know it."

The strong, confident Jedi apprentice he thought he knew no longer stood before him. In her place was a wide-eyed, apprehensive young woman uneasily wearing her heart on her sleeve. He had stayed because he hadn't meant to crush her, but he feared the damage he inflicted now would not hardly compare.

"Anakin..." He felt her Force presence, hesitant at first, then growing stronger by the second. He cut her off, shut her out. She gasped in shock and fell back a few steps. "I don't understand."

"I think you do," he accused bitterly, casting his eyes to the floor as if fearful of looking into her eyes any longer.

"Look..." Even without the Force, he could sense her struggling, fumbling for words. "I know you don't... you don't talk about her that much... but I know things... aren't right. I know you don't feel about her the way you used to-"

"You don't know anything," he growled in warning.

"I know it's different," she amended, refusing to be thwarted. "I can see that. I just want to help-"

He let out a humorless laugh at what either had to be naivety or absolute cunning. "Help? You wanted to help?" he scoffed, lifting his head to glare at her. "Is that what you call this?" He swept his arm around the room. "Drawing me here for this?"

She shook her head, holding a hand up and waving it back and forth in defense. "That's not what I intended-"

"Are you sure? You seem to be such a careful, calculating person," he asserted coldly.

Her eyes watered as she bit her lower lip. "That's not fair." He said nothing, staring her down wordlessly for a moment before looking away. "You know... you have to know how I feel about you." Still, he stood in stony silence, refusing to respond. She was hardly the sort to give in to this treatment. "I won't lie, I have wanted this for some time. I was afraid you didn't feel the same. But when you came here today..." She came forward, reaching up to touch his face, but he swatted her hand away. She swallowed hard and tried again. "Anakin, I know you feel something. And you deserve to be happy. I can make you happy. I can, I promise. If you just give me a chance..."

The scowl he gave her in return was brutally, mercilessly unfeeling. He stepped past her and rigidly headed for the door. Stopping short of the exit, he turned back to Ayana. "I made a promise to her - a promise which I have broken. I did not make this promise to you. I have not chosen to devote the rest of my life to you. I love her."

Her expression rapidly changed in obvious defense. She covered her hurt with hostility. "Then why are you here?" she demanded pointedly, looking him up and down with teary, furious eyes.

He turned from her and left without a response.


I had trouble writing this chapter... I didn't wanna get too OOC, but I feel like this story needs to be done justice. Believable but not excessive. I hope I struck some sort of balance. And for those of you disappointed in your poster boy... Well, I'm sorry (sort of). Even the best of us make the worst of mistakes, especially when backed into a corner.