Hi all! As far as the reviews to which I can't reply in message:

Guest: I fully understand your point. My intention was never to make Ayana a villain, just an imperfect person. She's not going to be attempting anything again, if that's any consolation. She just happened to be a casualty of this silent war between Padmé and Anakin, a war they don't even know they're fighting. And yes, I do feel she is a casualty - Anakin did not set definite boundaries and allowed himself to get too close. She got the wrong impression, acted on it, and got her heart broken. I think she's learned her lesson, just like Anakin. Padmé on the other hand... Well, she will eventually have to come to terms with her involvement in this disaster. I don't usually like to lay out a story like this, but I figured I should let everyone know where I'm coming from writing this before they get too mad. I told another reviewer that I don't think anyone in this story is a bad guy. I feel it's unfair to permanently label a person for foolish mistakes. Turning those mistakes into a regular habit... that's another story.

Angie: Oh, she definitely will not end up pregnant. Yes, it's possible to get pregnant after ONE TIME, but this story isn't headed in that direction. Thank you for your insightful reviews! I do enjoy them. Yes, Padmé definitely has postpartum depression, but I think that in the SW universe, it's something that probably isn't widely discussed, and, at least in this story, neither of them has experience with depression at all. Anakin, admittedly, is being pretty selfish, but that can happen after you've been scorned for so long.

Okay, sorry for my forever long author's note, but I felt I had to directly address a few things. Hope you enjoy this update!


Padmé sat on the couch in the lounge adjoining her office, breathlessly waiting for Anakin to leave. Her chest was tight, her breathing labored. Of course she had missed her children, her home, and yes even her husband. But she simply could not go back. It hurt too much. It literally hurt her physically. In the days since she had left her home, she woke up daily with bodily aches that could not be soothed with heat treatments and simple pain medications. She was exhausted and completely spent. There seemed to be no relief for the physical and emotional hurt she had been suffering for, she had to admit, quite some time. Anakin's infidelity only served to greatly amplify the pain. This was not something she could either explain or admit to anyone. She was ashamed of herself, she was ashamed of how she had been treated her family, and she was ashamed of the fact that Anakin had gone elsewhere seeking what she could not seem to give.

The durasteel exterior she had unconsciously become so adept at displaying to her husband abandoned her. Tears began to stream unbidden down her cheeks for probably the tenth time that day. She had proven to be absolutely useless in the Senate as of late because of these sudden and unwelcome bouts of tearfulness. Despite her constant close proximity, she missed many meetings and often had to send Jar Jar in her place to Senate sessions. The health bill that had been so close to her heart had not been passed, adding to her misery. She was embarrassed by the disaster that had become her life, and she was embarrassed by her inability to handle it the way she had formerly handled all of life's struggles. Even when she thought Anakin to be dead at the hands of Palpatine, she had maintained her composure in public. Finally learning that Anakin had in fact defeated the corrupt politician had brought indescribable relief to her heart. Unfortunately, she feared that any such relief in this situation would not be forthcoming.

She felt that her heart must be made of glass, yet it somehow managed to break and shatter multiple times daily, and she knew not how to pick up the pieces.


When he arrived at the apartment, he headed directly to the twins' bedroom, knowing he would find Elay there with the children. He stood unnoticed in the doorway for a moment, watching his little blonde-haired boy and brunette girl excitedly playing together. He reveled in their squeals and laughter and smirked considering to himself how quickly they alternated between best friends and worst enemies. Then suddenly, simultaneously, they noticed him, their little eyes widening in his direction. All at once, they charged towards him, and he knelt down to catch them in his arms.

"Luke. Leia," he greeted them as they snuggled into his chest. "Have you behaved for Elay today?"

"Yes, Daddy," Luke mumbled into his tunic.

"No!" Leia contradicted, jerking her head back suddenly. "Lukie took my doll, and he wouldn't give it back!"

"That's because you hit me with it!" Luke countered, wiggling out of his father's grasp to glare at his sister.

"Hey, now, that's enough," Anakin said sternly, struggling to hide a smile. "Both of you know better."

At their father's chastisement, they hung their heads and displayed expressions of appropriate contrition.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Luke apologized.

"I'm sorry for hitting you, Lukie," Leia said in turn.

"That's better," Anakin praised them. "You have to take care of each other, not hurt each other. Do you understand?" They nodded in agreement and nestled back into his arms. Sadness overtook him as the weight of his own counsel settled on his shoulders. He and Padmé had not been taking care of one another. Their actions had only been hurtful. Now their actions were hurting their children as well. He could hardly stand the guilt that roiled in his heart, crushing him as surely as a bantha sitting on his chest would.

He was torn from his reflections by the sight of a chunky little baby with blonde curls crawling towards him. A huge, toothless grin was spread across her face - a face that strongly resembled her mother's. His heart ached to see it. "Amila," he said warmly, welcoming his daughter. She came to a stop in front of him, falling back on her bottom and raising her arms up towards him in a wordless request. Luke and Leia stepped back to make way for their little sister, and Anakin picked her up to rest her on his bent knee. She immediately snuggled into him, laying her head on his shoulder. Anakin was overwhelmed with love for these three small, innocent beings who were completely reliant on him and their mother.

"When is Mommy coming home, Daddy?" Leia questioned, a sad smile clouding her features.

"Yes, I miss Mommy," Luke added with a slight nod.

Anakin reflexively cast his eyes up at Elay, whose expression remained professionally neutral, though she only returned his gaze for a moment before looking down at her lap. "Mommy..." Anakin croaked. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Mommy is working very hard. But she misses you very much and can't wait to be home with you again." Whether this was true or not, he could not say, but he knew it was what his children needed to hear. There were many things from which he could not protect them, but he would certainly die trying. A quietness settled on the room, filled with thoughtful sadness. He broke it with an offer: "Why don't we go out to eat for dinner? Let's have a special treat."

Delighted grins exploded across the twins' faces. "Oh yes!" Leia cried, clapping her hands together. "Yes, please, Daddy!"

"I want to go!" Luke crowed gleefully, bouncing on his feet.

The smile Anakin offered in return was weak and half-hearted. "Elay, could you get the children ready, please? And could you accompany us to dinner?" The nanny nodded her assent, and Anakin kissed Amila on the forehead as he set her on the floor. "I'll make arrangements, and we will leave shortly."

He left the room feeling hopelessly melancholy, knowing that the absence of his wife at dinner would leave a void that could certainly not be filled by anyone else.


Obi-Wan strode into Anakin and Padmé's apartment at Elay's welcoming invitation. Anakin had shown up on his doorstep unannounced with his somewhat shocking revelation a few weeks prior, but Obi-Wan had heard absolutely nothing from his former Padawan in the time since then. He had contacted the Jedi Temple only to learn that they had not heard from Anakin at all in several days. Elay indicated that her master was waiting for Obi-Wan on the balcony, so he made his way there. Anakin stood stock-still against the Coruscant skyscape, feet spread and hands clasped behind his back. Obi-Wan approached slowly, coming to stand at his old friend's right side.

They stood in silence for a minute or two until Obi-Wan finally genially said, "Nice view you have here."

"Is it?" Anakin grumbled. "I hadn't noticed."

Obi-Wan could sense the turmoil that still wracked Anakin's mind and had, in fact, grown in monstrous proportion to what he had seen weeks ago. "I take it things did not go well."

"You are correct," was Anakin's terse response.

Silence fell once again, but only for a few moments. "Where is she?"

Anakin sighed slowly, the frustration evident in his long huff. "She has not returned from the Senate building since she left the morning after."

Obi-Wan nodded, taking in the information and all its implications. "Has she contacted you?"

"No," Anakin said shortly, his stance still as firm as duracrete. "I visited her. Once. She made it abundantly clear she had no interest in seeing me."

"And the children?"

Anakin only shook his head.

"And you?"

Anakin didn't answer immediately, his eyes trained on some point in the distance. "I saw her on the HoloNet News." Obi-Wan could tell from the tone in his friend's voice that there was more Anakin wanted to say, so he waited patiently as Anakin carefully chose his next words. "She was seen out... with the Senator from Corellia. They had dinner together."

Obi-Wan understood at last. The Corellian Senator Laik Antilles was a very handsome, very rich, very successful, very single young man. He was new to the Senate but had already charmed his way into the hearts of many. Under the current circumstances, a private dinner with this man did not bode well for Anakin and Padmé's relationship. "Oh," was all he could think to say, regretting his inability to offer any sort of comfort to his friend. There was yet another brief pause in the conversation as each man dwelt on his own thoughts.

"I've lost her, Obi-Wan," Anakin whispered, his shoulders slumping.

Obi-Wan frowned. "Come now, Anakin-"

Anakin shrugged away Obi-Wan's disagreement. "It's true. I have. I made a foolish mistake. I ruined us. The HoloNet has been going on for days on end about how Padmé hasn't come home, how she's out with this Senator. People are speculating, whispering, assuming, judging. We've become a laughingstock, and she doesn't seem to care in the least."

"I'm sure she-"

"She doesn't," Anakin interrupted angrily. "She hasn't even checked on the children. She's abandoned us completely."

Obi-Wan sighed, running a hand down his face. "Anakin. You can't give up."

"Why not?" demananded Anakin, turning to face his old Master. "She has. Hasn't she? She refuses to even listen."

"Think about it, Anakin," Obi-Wan said calmly, remembering several similar conversations in the past where his calm patience had been required to settle his agitated Padawan and help him to see reason. "The Padmé you've been seeing recently is not the Padmé you married, is she?" Anakin shook his head, averting his eyes. "There must be some reason. Something is going on. You can't give up on her." Anakin didn't seem entirely convinced, still avoiding Obi-Wan's gaze. "Would she give up on you?"

Anakin's expression finally softened. "No," he answered in a quiet tone. "She wouldn't."

"I warned you that this would be difficult for her," Obi-Wan reminded Anakin softly. "She needed time to work through it on her own. You've given her that time. You must continue to be patient, but you musn't give in." Anakin's brow furrowed as he considered the older man's words in silence. "You've proven to her that she didn't matter, and now you must prove to her that she does."

Anakin nodded very slowly as the words settled on him, the impact gentle but quite strong. "You're right, Obi-Wan. You're right."

"Of course I am," Obi-Wan teased easily. "Haven't we had this conversation?" Obi-Wan was pleased by the small smile that played at the corner of Anakin's lips. "I'll go visit her tonight. You go visit her in the morning." He clapped a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "You will get through this, my friend. And I'll do what I can to help."

"Yes, Master," Anakin murmured thoughtfully. "Thank you, Obi-Wan."

"Think nothing of it. But I do want it in writing, that I'm always right."

Anakin's scowl drew a laugh from his old friend.


"Obi-Wan," she greeted him, her smile warm but suspicious. "What a pleasant surprise."

"It's good to see you as well, Senator Skywalker," Obi-Wan greeted her with a bow, putting a slight but pointed emphasis on her last name. A fleeting frown crossed her features, but she dismissed it quickly.

"Please, have a seat." They settled in the chairs in her office. She kept her professional composure all the while. "Would you like any refreshments?" she offered.

He shook his head and gave her a slight wave. "No, no. Thank you," he declined kindly.

"Very well. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" she inquired, getting right to the point. "It has been quite some time."

"Yes, it has." He allowed half a smirk at her perceptiveness. She was never one to be fooled. "You must know why I've come."

Her eyes narrowed, though her expression remained otherwise unchanged. "I have some idea."

"I can't pretend to know how you feel," he began, "and I am certain your feelings are most justified. However, it's not only Anakin who is suffering from your insistence on distance. It is your children as well."

Her response to his words resembled that of a caged animal. Her discomfort echoed through the Force. "I'm sure they are well, or Elay would inform me otherwise."

"Oh, yes, children are quite resilient. Most of the younglings taken from their families would hardly be seen in common rooms crying or complaining. Becoming a Jedi is quite a privilege, quite exciting, after all. Even Anakin seemed to be adjusting well." He paused for emphasis and to allow her time to consider his words. "I felt a disturbance in the Force one evening and went to his chambers. He was absolutely distraught. I have never seen him cry so." He gave her a very pointed look. "He missed his mother, though he would never admit it to anyone."

Padmé took in a sharp breath and readjusted herself. "Yes, well..."

"I know you are not well, Padmé, and I have some idea why that may be, but only a physician can tell you for certain." He leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. "Please don't allow your hurt and confusion to continue to inflict damage on those children. Or Anakin, for that matter."

"As if he deserves such consideration," she scoffed, her brows furrowing in anger.

"He is your husband," Obi-Wan reminded her. "He is hardly perfect, and we both know he does have many faults, but he does love you, and you both made promises to each other. Surely that is worth something."

She turned her head, refusing to look at him any longer. Her breathing became noticeably heavier. "Yes, well, perhaps he should have considered that as well."

"Hmm," Obi-Wan hummed in a sort of agreement as he settled back in his chair, hand stroking his chin. "I have never been married, myself, but from what I understand, a marriage of two seeking revenge and recompense for every slight is hardly successful."

She said nothing and would not face him, still. He decided he had said enough.

"I'll show myself out," he told her, getting to his feet. "I hope you two can resolve this, one way or another."

He did not look back as he left, and she did not try to stop him.


Anakin arrived at the Senate building very early in the morning. He was expecting another confrontation with Captain Typho, but the man did not put up a fight, allowing Anakin in to Padmé's small studio apartment almost too easily.

He found her at the counter pouring herself a glass of water, still in her nightgown with no cosmetics covering her angelic face.

"Padmé," he breathed. Her mere presence was like a solid punch to the gut. He had almost forgotten how beautiful she was in the morning, and what it was like to wake up next to her. She looked tired and worn, but she was still so beautiful, nonetheless.

She looked defeated and weary, not cold and calloused as she had been during their last encounter. "Anakin, it's too early for this," she said.

"Please," he begged. "I need to speak with you."

She placed the water pitcher on the counter and turned to face him. "What is it, Anakin?"

He crossed the room slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. The hollow pain he saw in them was enough to break his heart. "Padmé, I can never say that I am sorry enough. I can never make up for what I've done to you. I know that." His next words were hard to force out; his throat felt dry and sandy. "I miss you. I can't live without you. I don't know why I ever made room for the possibility that I might have to."

Her eyes were sad, but he did not see any forgiveness in them just yet. "I..." She seemed to be at a loss for words.

"I saw you." Her gaze was questioning. He swallowed hard. "On the HoloNet News. I saw you with Senator Antilles."

Padmé rolled her eyes and began to turn away from him, but he stopped her with a hand on her waist, pulling her back to him..

"I can't see you with someone else," he said, his voice a low growl. He knew he should stop himself, but he found that his emotions were so strong, he simply couldn't. "I won't. You belong with me."

The fire he knew so well by now lit her eyes. "I thought the same of you," she said coldly, but this time, she didn't wriggle out of his grasp.

"And you were right," he told her. "I can't be with anyone else. I belong with you. I love you, Padmé."

"Do you indeed?" was her mocking reply.

"I do," he insisted harshly. "I need you to believe that."

"I needed you to be faithful, but you couldn't manage that, could you?" she shot back hotly.

"I needed you to let me in, yet you shut me out," he countered without missing a beat.

"Of course, silly me - I forgot that this whole thing was my fault," she retorted with a huff.

"I never said that-"

"You didn't have to!" she cried.

"Padmé-"

"Don't," she cut him off, her voice shaky and weak. She put her hands on his arms as if to push him away, but he evaded her grasp and pulled her closer.

"My love, my angel... Please. Don't leave me," he trembled, fear clutching at his heart. "I know I don't deserve you. I know I hurt you. I know you have every right to leave me. Just... don't. Please."

He felt her shaking in his arms and realized with a start that she was crying. Suddenly, she went limp in his arms, and they sank to the floor together. Her sobs overwhelmed him and sent a vibroblade straight through his chest. He thought any sort of emotion would be better than the coldness she had used to hold him at arm's length. He was wrong. This was worse. This was so much worse.


Hmm, how was that? In the words of my favorite Jedi, "this is where the fun begins."