A/N: My dears, I am so sorry for the delay in posting. Life and all...

I hope you enjoy this chapter. It has a lot more dialogue than I typically use but I hope you won't mind.

And always, thanks to Jenn and Jaimye for reading and commenting before I post so I know I'm on the right track. And thanks for my sweetheart for being my unstoppable cheerleader.


It took Emma a full minute to register that she was kissing Regina. She was knelt on the floor of her living room, body pressed against Regina's knees, one hand holding the brunette's chin while their unmoving lips touched softly. As the reality settled over her, she was tempted to jerk away. But then a thought pushed its way forward.

Regina isn't pulling away.

Still, Emma remained motionless, unsure what to do next. She hadn't meant to kiss her at all. She hadn't considered the ramifications of such a move. Would Regina reject her? Would this be an awkward spot for them in their friendship? Would she believe Emma was more than tipsy and just let it go?

But other questions kept coming. Why had Emma felt so drawn to do this at all? When had she started feeling such a need to kiss her? What did it mean?

Yet Regina remained, full lips against hers, silent in the stillness of night.

Fearful, Emma eased back an inch or so, just enough so she could see Regina's eyes. They were closed, her face expressionless. Unsure what that could mean and feeling overwhelmed with insecurity, the blonde inched back a bit more, her fingers still on Regina's chin.

Brown eyes fluttered open and seemed to look into Emma's very soul for a moment before closing again as if relishing a tasty morsel. An olive hand came up and covered Emma's, leading it to rest on her cheek. Regina leaned against it lightly and opened her eyes again.

The blonde tried in vain to decipher the expression on Regina's face. She knew she'd never seen it before and yet, it was as familiar to her as her own face. But she had seen it, or some variation of it before. Yes, peering at each other on the deck of the Jolly Roger after saving Henry—their son—from Peter Pan. That look between them was the moment of conception of this new born expression of warmth and joy and… longing?

Emma felt so confused by all the feelings assaulting her at once and yet those dark eyes were singing her a siren song and she no longer feared the jagged rocks of what and why and when. She only knew she'd gladly drown in them for one more brush of tender skin against her mouth.

Timidly, without breaking eye contact until the last possible moment, Emma leaned in again and let her lips rest against Regina's. The brunette leaned in this time too, her hand no longer holding Emma's to her cheek but instead slipping along her arm and gripping her bicep.

Emboldened by Regina's gentle squeeze, Emma carded her fingers through black silk strands and pulled the other woman closer. She hadn't known until this very moment just how small Regina was, how warm her skin, or how much she wanted to hold her.

The blonde was simultaneously thrilled by this moment and terrified. Her mind was racing in a million directions and full of questions. Suddenly all her focus fell on Regina when, unintentionally, Emma's tongue grazed Regina's lower lip for the first time. A low, throaty moan burned a path from the brunette's smooth neck and straight into Emma.

The kiss suddenly leapt from gentle, unexpected brush of lips to passionate and wanton expression of desire.

~ (SQ) ~

When Emma had lurched forward and kissed her, Regina had been shocked. She hadn't known for a moment what to do. So she had done nothing. She had just sat with Emma's lips against hers, breath soft on her face and memorized the way it felt. Surely it would end and a memory would be all she had.

But the blonde had stayed put until, finally pulling back, she and Regina had shared a look. Try as she might, Regina couldn't stop the emotions from making their way to her brown eyes. She wondered if Emma could see… could read the longing in her face.

Apparently, she could. She had leaned in again, reconnecting their lips and the kiss had been different. This kiss was deliberate, intentional. Regina knew she should pull away. She knew this was a dangerous path to wander down. But somehow she couldn't make herself stop.

She had nearly reached an agreement with herself, a decision being made to end this, when Emma's soft, warm tongue had slipped across Regina's hungry lips. The simple sensation brought forth a quiet moan. Regina couldn't stifle it. It was as if every second of want she had ever had bound itself into a tiny ball of sound, slipped up her throat, out her mouth, and into Emma.

Now, the kiss was a living thing unto itself. It was a heaving beast—all hands, lips, teeth and tongues—ragged breaths twisted around pleasured sighs and desperation. Salty skin and the taste of desire fueled the beast's fiery soul and it grew and changed—a maddening metamorphosis in a quiet cocoon of flannel and silk and trench coat wool until it neared its final stage.

"Emma, wait." Regina leaned back, feeling the blonde's nimble fingers unbuttoning her pajama top, mouth firmly attached to the column of her throat.

A mumbled sound came from the other woman and her tongue's assault continued. Regina released an animalistic growl then, feeling the sensation spread like white hot heat across her abdomen and further south. It was as if there was a direct connection from that delicate place below her ear and an all the more delicate place in her silken pants.

There was nothing she wanted more than for Emma to continue. How many nights had she felt the phantom touch of her imaginary lover? And now, her fantasy was on the verge of becoming reality—a dreamland specter ascending to the tangible plane of decades old want and need.

But something in her was battling to be heard over the voice of desire, another voice, screaming to the surface.

"Emma, stop!" Regina pushed strong shoulders away.

"Wha- what's wrong?" Emma sat back on her haunches, still kneeling in front of Regina, though now between her legs rather than against them. "Did I hurt you?"

Wide eyes looked up at her, pupils dilated so that green irises were merely a ring around deep pools of black water. Regina tried to tame her ragged breathing and raging heartbeat. She felt cool air against exposed skin and saw her sleep top unbuttoned nearly to her navel, though her breasts remained mostly hidden. Her hand reached up to clutch the shirt closed, her chest still rapidly rising and falling.

"I'm sorry. I thought—hell, I don't know what I thought. I just—" Emma's eyes took on a look of terror and confusion.

Regina shook her head gently, silencing the blonde. Another moment and she might be able to feign a sense of control. Deep breath, then a whispered, "Stop apologizing."

Emma nodded and remained silent, her hands on Regina's thighs midway between knees and torso. She said nothing, only waited expectantly for whatever was to come next. She could be quiet. She could give Regina time. But she was Emma and waiting wasn't her strong point.

"Regina? Should I not have kissed you? I really thought you wanted me to kiss you so—"

"I did want you to, Emma. I do want you to, but…." Already she regretted stopping Emma from her passionate exploration but she had to know. "Why did you kiss me? Just because you thought I wanted it?"

Emma frowned, surprised by the question. Her eyes darted about, looking for the answer. "I… I dunno why. I just… I just felt… the only word I can think of is compelled. I felt compelled to kiss you. And," Emma locked her eyes on Regina then, "and I liked it. You seemed to like it too so, I just kissed you again and then… well, you know. It… progressed." Emma swirled her hand to emphasize the progression.

"I see." Regina said, biting her lip. She wasn't sure what she had wanted Emma to say. It wasn't like the blonde was going to announce her undying and decades old love for her. But it would have been nice.

Emma sat quietly now, giving Regina space to say more. But the brunette was equally quiet.

"So, you did want me to kiss you?"

Regina nodded the affirmative.

"Then I have to ask you now—why?"

Regina let out a long breath and looked down at her hand still clutching her shirt. She was too tired of carrying this to lie tonight. "I suppose the easy way out would be to say because I am tired or because I'm emotional from being back here. Gods know the conversation we just had was emotional enough… but I—" She stopped. If she admitted this to Emma—married with a child Emma who hadn't seen her in ten years—it would change everything. But somehow, that was ok. She was just so damn tired. "The truth is I've wanted you to kiss me for nearly as long as I've known you."

There was a tiny sound of Emma inhaling sharply, something close to a gasp. Regina still didn't look at her. She couldn't handle it if there was rejection in her eyes. And certainly there would be.

Carefully, she began buttoning her shirt. "You see, I have been an awful fool for so long. First I thought I wanted to kiss you out of revenge. We were enemies and kissing you, seducing you—that would be the ultimate retribution on Snow—tainting her perfect daughter. But I didn't do it. It didn't take long to realize it wasn't really about payback or vengeance at all. But by then I was afraid to kiss you because I thought it would ruin our delicate balance and almost friendship. Our friendship grew and I got over that worry but then I thought I wasn't worthy of you. And goddammit I missed my chance and you married the one-handed wonder." She released a wet and mirthless laugh, tears stinging her eyes.

"Regina…" Emma's voice was soft and full of pity.

Dark eyes looked up then, suddenly alive with fire. "Don't you dare feel sorry for me, Emma Swan. This is exactly what I deserve. In my life, I've danced a long awful dance and I have to pay the piper. A couple years of being a hero isn't enough to erase the pain I caused. I thought… I hoped maybe since Rumple and the pirate seemed to be forgiven for all they've done, maybe I was sufficiently redeemed but I guess I will pay for the rest of my life. So yes, I wanted you to kiss me. I wanted you to…" She softened and a single tear spilled over. With a resigned shrug she said, "I wanted you."

~ (SQ) ~

Emma was up from the floor in an instant and pulling Regina into an embrace. She didn't know what to do with the words Regina had just said but she could feel a burning, painful cry rising from deep inside her and it terrified her. So she sat on the sofa beside the brunette and held her.

It was several moments before she realized they were both sobbing against each other. It was another moment before she realized she had pulled Regina into her lap, cradling her head against her chest. Another moment still before she realized what a fool she herself had been.

Was she in love with Regina? Was Regina in love with her? How could she have missed that?

After a time, the crying turned to whimpering, the whimpering to an occasional shuddering breath until finally they were both quiet in the dim light of the dying fire. There was something comfortable and familiar about holding Regina this way, though Emma knew they had never been this close for this long. Nothing more than an occasional short hug had ever passed between them and many of those had included Henry.

Still, holding her like this, lips against the top of her head, the sweet smell of her hair tickling her nose, Emma felt more at home than she had in her life. That meant something, right? If she closed her eyes, she could envision a life that had always been Regina and her, just like this. But it was more than a fantasy. Maybe it was extreme déjà vu. But all Emma knew was that this felt as natural as breathing, like they'd held each other like this a million nights before.

"I didn't know." Emma finally whispered.

Regina huffed out a bitter laugh. "So I noticed."

Again they were quiet. Emma wanted to say something. She wanted to set things right. But she was reeling. She knew she felt something but she didn't know what. And she was a wife and a mother. What the hell was she doing with Regina in her arms while her family was out there somewhere without her. But her heart kept telling her this was where she belonged—not with someone else.

With Regina.

And that scared the shit out of her. So she was quiet.

Regina sat up slowly, pulling herself out of Emma's arms. The blonde gripped tighter, not willing to let her go, not wanting this moment to end.

"I think I had better go now. I'm sorry for my outburst. It won't happen again." Regina stood and straightened her coat, tying it. The soft and open look left her eyes and was replaced with practiced indifference. The air was suddenly cold.

"Don't do that." Emma grabbed her hand, but Regina never looked at her.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"Like hell. This is me you're talking to. Don't use that false face with me. You know it won't work." Emma tugged her back to the couch, though not into her arms. "We need to talk about this."

A glimmer of tears shone out of dark eyes. "There's nothing to say. I shouldn't have come here in the middle of the night. I shouldn't have said so much. We shouldn't have…" Regina swallowed roughly, trying to hold her mask in place. "We shouldn't have. We are both tired and emotional and… and…"

Emma gave a crooked smile. "I thought you weren't going to take the easy way and blame tired and emotional."

A tiny smile appeared for a second and Regina said, "Oh, you remember that, huh?"

"Yes. I remember everything you just said and I don't want to ignore it or forget it or pretend it never happened. I…" Emma paused, looking for the right words. "The truth is I've never felt exactly like I feel right now and I'm not sure what to do about that."

Regina sniffed indifferently. "I suppose we all feel that way when we kiss a woman for the first time."

Emma barked out a laugh. "For the first—Regina.. I hope you don't think you're the first woman I've ever kissed. I hope it was a better kiss than that. Hell, you aren't even the second or the third woman I've kissed. And I'm assuming I'm not the first woman you've kissed."

"No," Regina said softly, her cheeks pinking a bit at the admission. The Enchanted Forest wasn't as puritanical as this realm, but the Queen's dalliances with the fairer sex weren't exactly common knowledge either.

Somberness overtook them both as their eyes met. Emma went on. "So… I didn't know. And now I do know. It's a little overwhelming. I need to know more and I'm afraid of knowing more but I need to know. Like… why did I miss you so much after you left that I considered seeing Archie again? Or why did I name my daughter something that would irrevocably tether her—and me—to you forever?"

Emma swallowed hard, intertwining her fingers with Regina's on the hand she was still holding. Her eyes were ablaze with renewed desire and her voice was little more than a whisper. "Or why I feel like a literal fire is racing through my veins where my blood should be right now?"

Regina looked up with hungry eyes, her own voice rough with need. "I don't think you need anyone to explain that to you."

The blonde reached out and cupped Regina's face again as she had before, only this time she drug her thumb across the brunette's lips. "No. I don't need any help understanding that."

Time stopped, and for a moment, it seemed they would kiss again. Instead, the former queen cleared her throat and stood abruptly. "I really, really need to go home now."

"Why?" Emma breathed, pulling gently on their still intertwined hands.

"Because if I don't get out of here I'm going to do something we will both regret."

"Why does it have to be a regret?" Emma tugged again, but Regina stood firm, carefully freeing her hand.

"It would be, and we both know it. You are married, Emma. And I promised myself that I would never—never—be the other woman again. I will not do that again. I deserve better than that. You deserve better than that."

"But, Regina—"

"No. The Emma Swan I know is good, and faithful, and true. This isn't right, and you know it. Even if right this moment we knew we were in love and confessed it… it wouldn't be right. There was a time I wouldn't have cared, but I do care. I don't want to be someone's secret… or… or… someone's second choice." Regina took on the regal posture of her past and Emma knew there was no talking her out of it. And deep down, beyond the lustful haze and confusion, she knew the brunette was right.

Nodded her agreement, Emma asked, "So… what happens now?"

"I need to go home. I need to think. I need to sleep. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted."

"Ok." Emma's fear that this would be the end of the discussion forever was plain on her face.

"There is no reason for this to be weird. No reason for it to be awkward. We are adults and we can behave as such." Regina seemed to be talking to herself as much as to Emma. "We will spend the day with our son and his family tomorrow. And maybe afterwards, we can talk again and see how we feel?"

Emma saw it for only a second, but it put her own fears at ease. Genuine anxiety in dark eyes that Emma would feel differently in the light of day. "So, you aren't going to shut me out? No slamming the door in my face over this? No turning cold and ignoring me?"

"No. I promise." Regina said with a quick shake of her head. "Honestly, it feels good to have it out in the open. I've been carrying that a long time."

It was obvious neither of them wanted to part company, even though the agreed it was necessary. The still stood in the near-darkness, just waiting for something that never appeared.

Another sharp nod of her head and Regina started toward the door. "I'll be going then."

"Wait!" Emma cried, stumbling and nearly falling in her effort to catch up to the brunette. "Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?"

Regina's smile beamed. "You are incorrigible."

Emma closed her eyes and puckered her lips, waiting for the soft press of Regina's but instead, she felt them against her cheek.

"Goodnight, Emma."

"Goodnight."

~ (SQ) ~

Regina couldn't stop herself from smiling as she made her way to her car out front. The night hadn't gone anything like she had thought it would, but for now she was happy and she had a tiny flame of hope in her heart that everything would be ok… somehow.

Everything in her wanted to just look back and see if Emma was there, in the front window watching her but she resisted the urge to look back. She might lose her resolve to leave if she saw her there. No, she wouldn't look back.

If she had, she would have seen a very frustrated pirate lurking in the shadows of the front porch…