It was a sad day for everybody when Jean Finch died. I was out on my porch swing doing a needlepoint project when Atticus walked by and stood frozen as he got to the top step of his own porch. I'll never forget that the moment Atticus noticed her dead, I smiled. I thought he was shocked because of something she did. She was the best kind of crazy and would do anything to get a rouse out of her husband. It wasn't until I noticed that he began to pinch the bridge of his nose that something was wrong. I stopped my needlepoint and I looked to see what could have been puzzling him. I gasped out loud when I saw Jean laying face down and lifeless. I knew what had happened immeadiately.
"How?" I asked, senselessly.
"I don't know," the poor man said back to me.
And as if on cue, we heard baby Jean Louise begin to cry from inside the house. She must have just woken up from her nap. I looked at Atticus with a look on my face that I was sure wasn't hiding sheer terror.
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to go to her."
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"No," Atticus shuddered as he walked away. "Please, let me be, Maudie."
"Do you want me to call somebody? Jack, maybe?"
"Do whatever you got to do."
I didn't take a word Atticus said to me personally. He had no choice but to do the impossible now and there really wasn't anybody who could help him, including myself. I oughta know, I've lost a spouse myself. The difference was that Jean completely loved Atticus and John didn't love me at all. It's gotta hurt mourning the love you knew you had more than the love you could've had.
"Finch," Jack answered as soon as the operator connected him to me.
"Jack, it's Maudie."
"Hey, my sweet. How are you doing?"
"Jack," I took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy; I knew how much he loved Jean. "Jack, Jean died."
"That's not funny."
"I'm not joking at all."
"Bullshit, you aren't! Why isn't Atticus calling me to tell me?"
"Because he's busy trying to comfort his daughter that will never really know her mother, that's why!"
He had started to cry. I finally allowed myself to cry, too.
"Goddamn you, woman," he said.
"It was just her time, honey," I said, trying my best to comfort him.
"I'm talking about you!"
"Me?!"
"You jealous bitch!"
"Jack, you've been drinking..."
"I don't have to be drunk to be pissed off at you. You were always jealous of Jean!"
"Jack Finch, that is not true and you know it."
"Bet you wish you were a Finch, now. You could have had me and you threw it away! I've asked you every Christmas to marry me since we were eighteen and you always said never. Well, Mr. John Asshole Atkinson struts along with his money and power and you can't run to the altar fast enough!"
"Jack, you are being very unkind to me..."
"Unkind to you? What about me? The woman I love has died."
"All right, buster. I get it, you're sad and you're mad. Yes, Jean was a once in a lifetime girl and I'm just a dime a dozen widow, okay? Yes, I made a mistake marrying John and I've made a mistake calling you. That doesn't mean I don't love you, Jack. I'm going to love you for the rest of my life, just as I've always had, just to piss you off."
"Goodbye," he said as he hung up the phone.
"See you soon," I whispered into the receiver.
Call me crazy but I waited for him to come back to Maycomb. I wondered what kind of reaction I would get when he saw me. A part of me knew he couldn't be mad at me like that forever but a part of me knew if he did, I would be heartbroken. I saw him get out of Atticus' car the next night and he had a huge bouquet of yellow roses. I assumed they were for Jean but I saw him walking my way with them in hand. Could it really be? I ran to the door as he ran to me and wrapped his arms around me. My arms found my way across his neck and I kissed his cheek. I did know him like I thought I did.
"These are for you," he told me as he handed me the bouquet.
"Thank you," I said as I began to read the card.
Love of my life.
