Izuku, Uraraka, and I got our fieldtrip dues turned in on time and soon enough, Friday had come. We would have classes as usual then everyone would pack onto some busses and we would head up into the mountains. The trip was for our Earth science class so I assumed we were going to be doing… Earthy stuff. I wasn't completely sure, I didn't read the pamphlet. All I knew was that it was mandatory and expensive. The trip would account for ten percent of our grade in the class.
That morning, we had all brought our luggage and left it in a locked closet in the office for later. It was only one night so I had only brought a little drawstring bag. I was surprised to see how many people brought those big, expensive, rolling suitcases but I figured that was just normal for rich kids. I had learned to be constantly cautious of Monoma so I really didn't like the idea of leaving my luggage unattended. Just to be extra safe, I had one pair of pants and a shirt in my regular backpack.
"Hey Kaachan, do you have a seat buddy for the bus ride?" Izuku asked me as soon as I entered class that morning. I quirked my eyebrow at him.
"Is that even a real thing?" I asked boredly.
"Well, there's no assigned seats or anything but people are already choosing their seat buddies. I'm assuming you don't have one."
"With a name like that, I don't think I want one." I said, taking my seat.
"Well, if you don't care, then can I be your seat buddy?" He asked.
"Can you call it by a different name?"
"Wow, Mr. Katsuki is too cool to have a seat buddy." He teased. "What a strong, mature, man! None shall belittle him with cutesy nicknames and tomfoolery."
"Knock that off."
"Don't you ever laugh, Kacchan?" he asked. I shrugged. "What kind of movie do you think is funny?" He interrogated.
"No type specifically. When something is funny, it's funny." I explained.
Deku gave me a frustrated huff. "I'll make you laugh during the trip." He proclaimed.
"Don't try too hard. People are the least funny when they're trying too hard. Speaking of which, pull out a goddamn notebook and do some last-minute studying. There's only twenty minutes or less until the test."
"Agree to be my seat buddy first." He replied.
"Fine." I replied. I didn't know why he was being so fussy about it, I was going to sit with him anyways. We were always together. He was like a fifth limb to me.
Deku triumphantly pulled out his notes and started reading through them.
Of course, he aced the test, that wasn't surprising at all. What was surprising was that I did too. The grammar topics that we had studied so hard while reading that stupid monster book were perfectly aligned with the test. I easily pinpointed indirect object pronouns and used the past perfect tense seamlessly. While we were passing our tests up to the front, Midoriya glanced to me curiously. "How'd you do?" He whispered. I responded with a little smile, making him smile back. "Me too."
When it was time to get on the bus, Iida stood at the door to the bus and took attendance of each person before assigning them a row. Deku and I ended up having a bench right in the middle of the bus. It was so noisy. Everyone was yelling across the bus to their friends and jumping around despite Iida's feverous efforts to maintain order. I placed my earbuds in my ears and leaned against the window, looking out.
Ten minutes into the drive, I was nudged by Deku. I was surprised he had lasted that long. He motioned for me to pull out an earbud. "Can I listen too?" He asked.
His request completely shocked me. "Y'know… these things have been in my ears." I told him. "They have all sorts of crud on them."
He dug in his backpack before pulling out a sealed alcohol wipe. I rolled my eyes, handing him an earbud. He cleaned it thoroughly with the wipe, even pulling the silicon nub off to get it completely clean. He placed it in his ear and listened for a few moments. "I'm surprised… So this is the kind of music you like?" He asked.
I pinched my brows together. "Why does it surprise you? What did you think I'd listen to?"
"It's a lot gentler than I expected. I thought you'd be someone who likes metal or punk music."
"Do I give off that kind of impression?"
"At first. I think this kind of music suits you better. Hey, you're hungry, aren't you?" He asked. I shrugged. I had been hungry for over an hour now. "You always have a snack when you get home so I just figured." He went back into his back pack but this time brought out a little plastic bento. "I made it this morning so it's not warm anymore but it's probably still yummy."
I slouched down to inspect it, amazed but how perfectly prepared everything was. He had packed my favorite foods: pickled cabbage, a ham sandwich, and seasoned soy beans. I always thought that my first gift bento would be from a girlfriend. I could see why boys liked receiving these, it was a really thoughtful gift that you could eat.
"Is that a bento? How romantic~ It's like you guys are dating~" I recognized and hated that voice. He must've been in the seat behind us, peeking over the back of the bench. I sat back hard and fast, smacking the back of my head into his forehead, causing him to tumble back into his seat. I smirked.
"Oh, sorry. Was that you, Monoma-kun? Didn't you know you shouldn't be standing on the bus? Someone could bump into you." With that, I took the pair of chopsticks that had sat on top of the bento and dug in hungrily. It was really good and thinking about Deku putting it together for me made my heart feel warm.
I knew Monoma wasn't the kind to just forgive and forget. I'd probably have to deal with his revenge later. I just wanted to enjoy my food in peace.
Deku fell asleep on the two-hour bus ride. I really didn't care that he was leaning against me. If anything, I kind of liked it. He was being really cute today. I had always had a soft spot for cute things. As a kid, I always liked overly cutesy stuffed animals and toys. I remembered going to the store to buy an umbrella in first grade. My mom suggested one with the latest action heroes on it but I insisted on the pastel blue one that was decorated with chubby, little, otters. When I brought it to school, I was teased. After that, I refused to bring the umbrella with me and just wore a jacket instead. Those memories continued to embarrass me. I only watched the action cartoons on TV and only chose big, dragon-type, Pokémon when playing with my friends. I liked those boyish things too but still, I had a special place in my heart for cute things. Deku was definitely cute. The way he smiled and cheered everyone on and did thoughtful things for others made him just about the cutest person I'd ever met.
I woke him up when we arrived with a few silent nudges. He stared at me, completely confused. I could tell he was transitioning from dream to reality. "Did… did I fall asleep?" He asked, bewildered. I nodded. "What? So… That wasn't real?"
"What wasn't?" I asked.
"I dreamed that I gave you a bento I'd made for you." He said. I held up the empty container. "So that happened? Then what about the… the other part?"
"What other part?"
His face turned red. "W-wait. Tell me the last thing that happened before I fell asleep." I was getting suspicious. What other part? What did he dream about?
"I dunno. You were comparing DC and Marvel, I think."
"Oh… Oh, yeah I remember that." He said with a nod.
"What was the other part?" I asked again.
"Huh? Oh… I dreamed that there was this big sea monster and Captain America came and he totally destroyed it." He explained.
I knew that was a lie because that was a real dream he had that he told me about a week ago. I just nodded suspiciously and stood up to stretch. The place where we were staying at looked like some sort of ski retreat. It was a large wooden building with three divisions. In the central building, there was a big communal hall with a kitchen, dining area, and lounge area. The East building held housing for boys while the left was reserved for girls. The dorms themselves were not too tight but not too private either. Each room had two sets of bunkbeds. The baths were located outside in a communal fashion. We were all instructed to put our luggage in our rooms then come downstairs for a lecture in the dining area.
I ended up in a room with Shoji, Kaminari, and Kirishima. I really didn't mind them. They were probably the classmates I got along with best, not including Deku. I liked Shoji because he was quiet and didn't pretend to be nice when he wasn't feeling like it. Kaminari was a little too energetic for me but he was stupid so we always ended up helping each other out when we didn't understand what we were learning. Kirishima was funny and nice and cool, the only thing that I didn't like about him was his fakeness. It wasn't a full-time job for him like it was for some other students but it still annoyed me. He was always worried about how he looked and he tried to act cool all the time.
Down in the dining hall, everyone sat at these long wooden tables and took notes as we were lectured about plant stuff. I wasn't listening that well. We left to go on our collection hike up in the hills around 6pm when it had cooled down a bit. We had to find a plant samples, draw and describe them into a notebook, then seal them in a plastic bag to examine later.
Deku was enthusiastic as shit. He didn't have a particular affinity for geology, he just liked being outside with everyone. It was kind of cute but mostly annoying. I felt him tug at my sleeve after about 45 minutes of climbing. I tuned around. "What?" I asked.
"You're walking too fast." He complained.
"You're walking too slow." I countered. We were already at the back of the group.
"My stomach hurts." He said.
"Stop being a baby." I walked ahead a few meters. I didn't want us to get in trouble for being separated from the group. I stopped in my tracks when I heard Deku whimper and hiss in pain. I turned around to see him clutching his calf.
I rushed to him, my blood pumping. "What's wrong?" I asked.
He straightened back up, smiling. "There you are~"
I scowled. "Hey! Don't fake an injury, you idiot!"
"Don't leave me alone on a fieldtrip! Mr. Mori said you have to be my walking buddy."
"Because you requested it." I corrected.
"Because I want good samples and you can reach higher in the trees!"
I grumbled, annoyed. "Let's go."
"I wasn't kidding about my stomach. It hurts. And my head does too." He explained with a frustrated pout. "I can't walk anymore, I think I'm going to throw up."
I sighed, calming down. "Did your stomach start hurting when we got to the lodge?" I asked. He nodded. "And it hurts the more we hike?" He nodded again. "You have altitude sickness, Idiot. Sit down. I'll text Iida and tell him that you got sick." I said.
He sat down on a rock. I gave him my water bottle and sat down beside him to send the message. I got a response quickly. "He says that the summit isn't far. The class is going to hike the rest of the way and then we'll join them on the way down. Iida also says he's going to collect extra samples from up there for us."
Deku smiled. "Thanks, Kacchan." He said.
"What are you thanking me for? Iida is the one doing our work for us." I pointed out.
"Just… thanks for everything else then."
I rolled my eyes, a little smile on my lips. "Whatever."
The air was nice and clean. It was relaxing up there. "Hey, I promised to make you laugh so I have a joke for you." Deku said, handing me back the water bottle. His hair perfectly matched the color of the leaves that shaded us.
"No thank you." I answered in a flat voice.
He completely disregarded my comment. "Why shouldn't you interrupt someone who's doing a puzzle?" He asked. He waited until it was clear I wasn't going to answer. "Because you'll probably get some crosswords!" He finished with a huge smile. I watched him without reaction. "You didn't like that one? No problem, there's plenty more where that comes from. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop! Hey, do you feel that?"
I waited but no answer came. "There's not a punchline for that one?" I asked.
"It wasn't a joke. I feel something." He said, holding onto the rock that he was sitting on. "It's vibrating…"
"It's not vi-" I suddenly began to feel it too. In a moment, the shaking went from a little tremble to a furious quake. I immediately grabbed Deku's hand. Adrenalin shot through my veins and I gripped his hand tight. His eyes looked to me, full of shock and fear. Before either of us could prepare ourselves, the rocks around us came to life and rolled around wildly. The ground turned soft before it all went rushing down the side of the hill, taking us with it.
We were both yelling and trying to claw onto anything stable but everything slipped away with the soil. It was as if the hill had been turned to quicksand and our only hope of staying above the surface was by grappling onto trees and boulders desperately. Our hands got torn apart by the pure force of the landslide. I had never truly fought for my life before. It was a strange experience. I saw the rocks and branches collide with me but I couldn't feel any of it. My heart was beating so loudly that it blocked out all other sounds. My only desires were survival and finding Deku.
It lasted less than a minute, we fell about fifty feet. When the shaking finally stopped and the soil turned back into solid Earth, I found myself buried under an uprooted tree and held there by mounds of dirt. I clawed my way out desperately, working as fast and violently as I could. 'Where is he!?' I wondered. 'Shit! What if he's buried somewhere? What if he can't get out? Will he suffocate? Or get crushed by the pressure? I have to find him! Deku!'
I finally got myself free after minutes of digging and wriggling. I was coated in black soil. "DEKU!" I yelled, looking everywhere. "Deku!" I called again, climbing around in the heaps of mountain-smoothie, looking for any sign of the green-haired optimist. I didn't know when I had started crying or if I could stop. I was really truly, scared. I remembered this feeling from childhood. I was so scared that I couldn't control my emotions anymore. The tears came without restraint. "Deku!" I yelled. I saw him a few feet away, laying on his back, buried waist down in dirt and paralyzed. "There you are!"
I ran over to him as fast as I could through all the debris. "Are you okay?" I asked, immediately unburying him from the dirt. There were some rocks on him but not enough to hold him down. "Hey, get up! Are you hurt?"
He didn't answer. I got him unearthed but he still wouldn't move, he was just staring at the sky. I put two fingers on his throat. His heart was racing. "Hey, did you hurt your spine or something?" He was still silent. "Answer me, dammit!" I demanded.
He started trembling furiously. "I can't…" He whimpered.
"You can't what? Where does it hurt?"
He responded slowly. "Th…the dirt…"
I was absolutely flabbergasted. I sat back, trying to comprehend what he had just said. He just got thrown down the side of a hill by liquified earth and still, having some dirt in his shoes was the scariest part of it all? I couldn't believe this guy… Was he joking? I knew he was a little weird but this was just stupid.
I remembered what he had told me once in my room about how germs, to him, were like scorpions. I imagined laying on the ground, covered in a thousand caramel-colored scorpions. My annoyance immediately began to subside and I started to understand. He always supported me, even when I was an asshole. I should try to do the same.
I gently swiped some of the dirt off his shirt and out of his hair. "Hey… chill out, okay?" I said. "We'll head back to the lodge right now. What did I say when you burned your hand?"
"Th-the bad thing… already happened." He replied, his emerald irises filling with tears. I couldn't even see his freckles among all the dirt.
"That's right. The bad thing already happened. Dirt is just dirt, Deku. You know that. It's not that bad."
He nodded slowly. I smiled bravely, wiping away my own tears. "See? It scared me too. It was scary, but it's over. Let's both pull ourselves together, alright?"
He nodded again, biting his bottom lip to hold back his emotions. I helped him up and onto my back. He was little more than dead weight. As I began walking and the adrenalin wore down, I could feel ache all over my body but I didn't say anything. I knew he must've been in pain too. "I'm sorry, Kaachan." He whispered, his voice breaking slightly.
"Hm? Did you summon the earthquake?" I joked.
"I'm sorry… that I'm so pathetic… I can't even walk on my own because of some stupid dirt…" He said. My shoulder suddenly felt wet and I could tell he was crying.
"Deku…" I replied softly. I didn't know what I could say. I couldn't cure his germaphobia or make reason of it.
"What kind of loser is afraid of dirt? At least it makes sense to be afraid of snakes or deep water, those things can kill you. Why do I feel like I'm suffocating when someone coughs? Why do I have to throw away my clothes just because of one little stain? Even now… I'm such a burden to you…"
"Deku." I said again, a little more sternly. "Don't say stuff like that… do you… do you remember when you said that, when I hurt you, it makes you see me in color? Well… I've never really taken care of anyone else before, not like this. Because I'm your hero, I'm constantly following you and watching out for you. For the first time, I'm seeing further than myself. I'm paying attention to everything more and I'm feeling new feelings so… I think… that having you as a burden has made me see the world in color too."
There was silence for a few moments before Deku spoke up. "Am I your favorite?" He asked quietly.
"What?"
"I've told you that you're my favorite person but you haven't done the same… I just want to know if I'm your favorite person too."
"Well… what do you think?" I responded.
"I don't know. Ever since we met, you've been changing. It's hard for me to keep up. As soon as I learn to read your mind, you change again. Are you doing that on purpose?"
"Me? You're the one who's making me change."
"I am?" He asked, surprised.
"You worm your way into people without permission."
"That doesn't sound flattering."
"Well, that's how you became my favorite so if that's what you wanted, then accept responsibility for it."
He sniffled and I sensed his smile. "I guess you're right. Then… I'm happy to be a worm if it means that I'm your favorite too."
My cheeks were red, I wanted to change the subject. "Hey, your dream earlier. I know you lied about what it was about." I mentioned.
"I didn't!" He defended.
"You told me the same dream last week." I pointed out.
"I'm relapsing… can't…talk…" He whimpered before falling silent.
"You're so full of shit." I scolded, rolling my eyes. I waited to see if his voice would return but it didn't. "Should I assume that you're only pretending that you can't walk too?"
He knew I wouldn't drop him so he kept silent. He was right. I carried him for another hour until we found our way back to the lodge. Iida was waiting out front of the lodge restlessly. He nearly fainted when he saw us. "Bakugo! And Midoriya! I called you two! Where you guys involved in that landslide?"
"Obviously." I retorted. Even when we were back on the porch of the cabin, I didn't put Deku down. Even though my body screamed in exhaustion, it felt right and comfortable to keep him on my back.
"Mr. Mori went out looking for you two." He told us. "I'll call him right now and tell him you found your way back."
"Can I use the bath?" The boy on my back asked.
"Now?" Iida questioned. "What if you have a concussion? You should wait. Mr. Mori will take you two to the hospital when he gets back and you can clean up there."
"No hospital!" Deku protested suddenly. "I'm fine!"
His panicked voice triggered my protective side. I held onto him firmly.
"You two both look like you need medical attention." Iida answered. He looked us over. We had both sustained a few deep bruises and shallow scrapes not to mention the fact that my whole body was trembling.
"Iida-san…" Deku pleaded. "I don't want to go to the hospital. I'm fine. We're fine. To go to the hospital over injuries like this would be counterproductive. A-after all… you're more likely to contract a disease in a hospital waiting room than almost anywhere else. We might as well just sit in a pool of stagnant water with some rotting carcasses while poking ourselves with used needles." He began doing his jerky twitches. His own imagination had set him off.
"Don't you think you're exaggerating?" Iida asked, clearly taken aback by Deku's odd behavior. "They'll have face masks and hand sanitizer there." He offered.
"Hand sanitizer? That's a toy of a simpler time." Deku mumbled. Finally, he was giving Iida a glimpse into his mind. "There have been several forms of bacteria found only in hospitals that are immune to most modern antibacterial. They thrive in that cesspool of disease, breeding stronger and stronger versions of themselves that can only be killed by temperatures exceeding four hundred degrees Celsius! So someone could check themselves into the hospital for a scraped knee and become the host for something exceedingly worse than they could ever imagine. If they're lucky, it'll have only infected the cut and the leg can be amputated before three days but if the patient breaths in the air-born spores, there's nothing that can be done. The bacteria will breed rapidly in the moist, dark, lungs and in a week, it will have deteriorated thirty percent of the lung tissue-"
"Midoriya-san." Iida interrupted, horrified by the gruesome visual. "Please go take a bath." He requested, giving up to Izuku's craziness.
I carried him off to the bathhouse, going behind the lodge so we wouldn't be seen by other students. I was also shocked by Deku's inner thoughts. Is that really what he thought about all the time? I could understand why he was usually on edge.
I set him down when we finally got to the showers, sitting him on a little stool. He managed to stay upright but he didn't seem much more mobile. "You can move now, right?" I asked.
He looked down at himself. His clothes were black and stiff with mud. Pebbles, leaves, and pine needles poked out of every seam. "It's in my pants, isn't it?" He asked, staring down at his trousers.
"Probably." I started to undress myself.
"I can feel it…" He mentioned.
I glanced at him as he just sat there, staring at himself. He seemed to be over the panic and had subsided into depression, adopting his misery as his new state of existence. It seemed so dramatic. "Come on, just take them off. Then you can clean up and be good as new." I urged.
He didn't move. "What's the point? I don't think I'll ever get clean again. I can feel the dirt in my armpits and under my boxers and coating every strand of hair."
"Don't be like that." I coaxed. "Come on, I'm not going to do it for you."
"Okay… I just need a bit of time." He said, his voice mellow. I finished undressing and started washing myself. I glanced at him occasionally. He just sat there, staring blankly. Was he really so depressed by the dirt that he couldn't even bother to clean up? I decided to just wait it out and see if he would eventually start undressing. I really didn't want to get that personal with him. I mean, we were friends but still… it's pretty weird to undress and wash your friend. That would definitely be crossing a line.
I washed thoroughly, taking my time, but he still didn't move. Actually, he had kicked off his shoes but that was all. I grumbled, annoyed and frustrated. "Come on, Deku. Where's the plucky, determined, idiot that I sit next to every day? You can do this, you do it every day." I encouraged. He didn't even look up to me, his eyes began to water.
"I just feel… so hopeless." He answered. I couldn't believe this. He really was going into a depressive withdrawal.
I sighed, massaging my temples for a moment while preparing myself to make a difficult offer. "Deku… do you need me to help you?" I asked.
He nodded, tears falling. "Y-you're the only one… that I can turn to with something like this… I'm sorry."
His quiet, desperate voice tugged at my heart strings. Although I didn't really understand what he was going through, I couldn't just let him suffer like that. He was special to me, I wanted to keep his heart happy so he could keep smiling. I rinsed out my hair and tied a towel around my waist. At least one of us would be covered.
"Don't cry." I commanded in a soft voice, sitting in front of him with a sponge. His eyes wouldn't meet mine? Was he ashamed? Damnit… he made my heart hurt so badly. I took his chin between two fingers and tilted it so he would look at me. My crimson eyes met his wet, emerald ones. "Deku… it's me, okay? So you can calm down now. It's just me, you know me. I'll take care of you." Those last words left my lips without my permission.
His eyes reciprocated a look of trust. He nodded, sniffling. My eyes glanced over his trembling lips. They were a really cute color. They were a pale peach all throughout except for on his bottom lip where he had been biting it. That part was ripe red and glossy. A little longing began to cultivate in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to know the feeling of warm lips pressing against my own. I wanted to see what it would feel like if my teeth gently grasped them. I wanted to know the sensation of grazing my tongue over the plump little buds.
Without realizing what I was doing, my arm rose and my thumb bravely grazed Deku's lips, swiping against the soft, wet, skin. My eyes were trained on my hand which seemed to move without my consent. I had the pad of my thumb lightly resting on his front teeth when I was finally able to reclaim ownership of my body. My face turned beet red as I drew back my hand and checked his expression.
His cheeks were pink too and his eyes stared at me wide. He was trying to read my intentions, trying to understand. "Got it!" I quickly said, pretending to flick something off my thumb. "It was just a little bug, I got it." I explained. The idea of having a bug on his face scared him stiff, which was exactly what I needed right then. Now we wouldn't have to acknowledge what just happened.
I gently undressed him, taking off everything. I forced my mind to go blank as my knuckles grazed his sides when I pulled off his bottoms. I was really confused by what I had done and the thoughts that were in my head but I tried to force them all down anyways. 'I'm just a teen and these are hormones and they don't mean anything.' I told myself. 'Boys think about perverted stuff, it's only natural, right? Kaminari once compared a car to a woman's body so that means it's normal to think thoughts like that about literally anything! It has nothing to do with Deku, he just happens to be in front of me. If I were looking at a fire hydrant, I'd still think things like that.'
I kept telling myself this as I dunked the sponge in water and cleaned his back. 'Cleaning someone's back for them is super normal'. I reassured myself. 'I didn't realize that Deku actually has some muscles…' I noticed. 'Stop! Idiot! What if it were Kirishima's back? It's the same, nothing to get flustered about.' I told myself. Still… I knew deep down that it wasn't. Midoriya's back was slight and cute and I felt possessive of it. I was his hero so… this back was technically mine because I was charged with taking care of it. 'It's not mine! Stop thinking that!' I scolded myself.
I really didn't want to clean his chest or middle region so I did his hair next. I ordered him to close his eyes as I poured steaming water over him. The water ran brown for the first three bucket-fulls. I shampooed it, trying with everything I had to just stop thinking but it was impossible. His hair was really soft and cute.
When his hair was done, I cleaned his legs from the knee down. I could feel the firm bulge of his calf muscles under the sponge. My hand traced the delicate arch of his heels and my fingers felt his cute nubby toes. His legs were the perfect balance between toned and lithe, giving them a lean and gentle appearance. I just couldn't stop thinking.
I was so frustrated that I didn't notice until I was done with his legs that I had an issue under my towel. 'What the hell?!' I wondered, completely shocked. 'Why do I have that? Why now? I know I can get them randomly, I even wake up with them sometimes, but why now of all times? Hormones again? Fuck, I have to get out of here before Deku notices…'
"You can finish this on your own now, right?" I asked, throwing down the sponge and putting the bucket on my lap instead. "I gotta take a leak. I'll put away the bucket while I'm at it." I announced in a dry voice. I got up, keeping the bucket firmly against my hips to hide that thing as I sped off to the bathroom stalls.
I let my towel drop once I was inside. 'Hormones. It's just hormones. This is normal. It happens all the time for no reason.' I told myself as my eyes prickled with tears. I was so angry and confused. Deep down, in a place I'd never admit, I knew this was a result of Deku. I didn't want it at all. I hated these feelings. I hated what my body was doing. I felt like I was being forced to respond to him against my will. I hated it… I hated it so much… I wanted it to go away… everything. The erection, the feelings, even Deku. I wanted him to disappear too so I could pretend this all never happened.
I cried. I couldn't stop myself, all I could do was bite my lip to keep back whimpers and sobs. I was scared. I wanted to believe it was a lie. I took care of my body, pinching myself with one hand so my mind wouldn't be able to think about the greenette while it was happening. When it was done, I took a few minutes to stop crying.
I stayed in the stall, wondering if there were a way to take it back. 'I don't… I don't want to like boys… I don't want to like Deku… I don't want to think these crazy things! Dammit! Why can't I stop!? I hate his body but still, my body responds… I just want it all to go away… I want to go back…' I thought, my thoughts finally interrupted by the sweet voice that both drove me to insanity and saved me.
"Kaachan?" it asked. At the same time, I was filled with dread and joy.
(to be continued)
