Chapter Two
I wake up to the sound of my alarm. For once, I'm excited to get out of bed because today is the big day. In just a few hours I'll be off on this exciting adventure with my best friend. I get dressed, head downstair for coffee and grab a pop-tart on my way out the door. I started up "big red" before circling around the block to pick up Dean with the hopes of getting this day over with as soon as possible. I was looking forward to an escape: freedom.
Dean seems barely conscious as he slumps into the seat next to me. His eyes are as blurry and dazed as the gray horizon. Dean's never been a morning person but honesty who is? I don't trust morning people.
"Morning, sleepy head" I said trying to wake Dean up. "Big day ahead of us." I half say to myself as I let Dean acclimate to being conscious. Even amidst extreme exertion, Dean is still radiant and makes my heart skip a beat when I look at him. I make myself want to puke but what do you do? As we drive through town towards Stonewall high, Dean slowly begins to wake up and a smile cracks his stony facade.
"Looks like it's going to be a nice day" he said. "Perfect for camping. I could barely sleep I was so excited. I know you're going to love it, Sammy. I found the sweetest spot just up the mountain near this cool lake! Wait 'till you see it!" Dean was giddier than a 4 year old which warmed my heart.
Even if this camping trip sucks ass, at least it will be worth it to see Dean so happy. When he's happy, I'm happy. I just hope we don't get mauled by a bear or some sort of disease from mosquitoes in the process. We'll be fine. Probably. Dean was a boy scout i think to myself. Not very reassuring but it's 2018, it's not like we'll be so far out we can't easily return to civilization.
"I'm mostly packed we can finish packing up right after school and head out" I explained. "My mom thinks we're gonna get murdered or something so be warned she'll probably try to talk you out of it." Dean laughs and nods understandingly. I pull into the overcrowded parking lot and sigh knowing we have to get through this long day at school. We can make it, I reassure myself. I tell Dean to meet me at the car right after school and we head our separate ways. Until Biology, that is. Dean is going to find pics of the amazing spot he has found for us to explore and show me during class later.
I haven't seen Dean this excited in ages, so I'm uncharacteristically in a good mood during first period. I have to admit, I'm excited myself. Which is odd and definitely out of character but I think it'll be good to just get away from it all. Plus, a whole weekend with Dean, uninterrupted has me feeling so many emotions I don't even know if I'm more excited or anxious. I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going to come clean about my feelings for Dean but nevertheless I'll get to spend quality time with him. The not knowing how he'll react part still worries me.
Time passes particularly slowly this Friday, but the bell finally rings and I practically sprint to my jeep parked in the student lot. Dean is waiting patiently, leaning against the side of "big red" casually looking like a 1950s greaser with his effortless suave demeanor. My heart skips a beat. It's time. I unlocked the doors, climbed in and cranked up the air. It's a mild day, in the low 70s, but the breeze is pleasant and provides some relief. Dean is telling me all about the mountain and the lake as we head to my house to pick up our things.
Once we arrive, I help Dean load my bags into the jeep while trying to calm my mother down enough to say our goodbyes. Once we leave my house, we head to Dean's to get his things before hitting the road. "Be right back!" Dean yelled as he leaps from the car to grab his gear. Dean only packed one bag as he's not nearly as high maintenance or paranoid as I am. He also throws the tent, which seems awful small, into the back seat before hopping back in to head out.
"Are you sure we have everything?" I asked. I want to be sure before taking off to the middle of nowhere. I really don't want to be without important gear whilst surviving on top of a desolate mountain. I catch myself being over dramatic and paranoid again. Dean just gives me a look before smiling. He knows me too well. I'm also worried about looking stupid or embarrassing myself in front of him. Even though he's known me so long, I'd still hate to look stupid over forgetting something like a toothbrush. Do you even bring a toothbrush camping? I have no idea but I brought 2 just in case.
"We are good to go, Sammy just relax" he reassures me. I can tell he's just as eager to put this small, dull town in the rearview mirror as I am. He gives me directions like a human GPS as we slowly but surely escape civilization and head into the great unknown. In between these directions, Dean sings his favorite songs and I can't help but think: this is the boy I love. I'm just going to enjoy this as long as I can. Don't screw it up, I scold myself.
"What's on your mind over there, Sammy?" Dean asks as I'm internally screaming at myself to keep it together.
"Oh not much, just thinking about everything that can and probably will go wrong," I retort semi-truthfully.
"Don't worry, we're gonna have so much fun!" he assures me. "Plus you know I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, you know that right?" he asks uncharacteristically serious.
I'm stunned by such a blatant pronouncement that demonstrates just how much he truly cares about me that I blush. "Of course I know that, Dean" I said. "You were a boy scout after all, so I have nothing to worry about" I tease trying to use humor as a way to steer the conversation away from getting somewhere too deep. Not yet. I'm not ready. The fact that he says things like that have always thrown me for a loop. Why is he always so vague? Am I just that naive or can I just not take a hint? It's so frustrating: I'm one of those people who doesn't respond well to subtlety. I prefer people to be blunt. Too bad Dean and I are both prone to ambiguity.
"Oh, here's the turn!" Dean shouts as I nearly miss the barely visible road. We make the turn on two wheels, thank God "big red" has a roll bar.
"Holy shit, Dean!" I yell. "Thanks for the heads up." I try to get my racing heart to calm down so I can see clearly again.
"Sorry, Sammy" Dean says with a chuckle. "Just trying to keep you on your toes, Old Sport." He's been calling me that since we read the Great Gatsby in English a few weeks ago. He likes to rattle my cage.
The country road we're now on is beaten and extremely narrow. It doesn't even much resemble a road, more of a trail. "Are you sure this is the right road? I ask.
"Positive!" Dean asserts. "Just keep going and when you hit the fork in the road, go left." I follow Dean's directions which take us deeper and deeper into the wooded mountains. The air becomes cooler as we ascend the cool mountain, underneath the ever darkening stillness of the swaying foliage. I love the crisp mountain air and the way it revitalizes my senses. There's no place on earth I'd rather be than in the Great Smoky Mountains. These mountains are in my blood. My Dad is part Cherokee and we used to visit my great-grandmother on the reservation when I was younger and she would tell us stories and folktales about these mountains. I miss both of them, but the mountain air will always remind me of my roots.
I get lost in my own memories when the fork Dean mentioned comes out of nowhere. I turn left, even though the sign says "keep right." "Uhhh, Dean… I don't mean to doubt you but are you sure we go left here?" I ask.
Dean triple checks his phone and a paper map he brought along. "Yeah, we're on the right path" he reassures me with certainty. "The old campground is to the right but it shut down during the recession. Not many people come up this way anymore. The road to the left leads to the lake which is where we're going to set up camp." He sounds like he knows what he's talking about, so I keep on driving. The trees are growing thicker and the sun is starting to dip low on the horizon as we make our way through the woods.
The radio dies out and Dean reports that his cell service has completely died. "Great" I add with a sigh. "At least we can really reconnect with nature now that we're officially off the grid."
"It'll do us some good toe get away from the screens, ya know" Dean explains. "It'll give us time to actually talk and enjoy each other's company ike in the old days." This made my stomach do a somersault. Why is he so cryptic. What's he getting at? Am I just being paranoid? Ugh…
"Good point" I reply before inquiring about our specific destination which we have yet to reach. He tells me to keep following the path which is now made entirely of dirt. Seeing as the road no longer exists, it's comforting to have a jeep in instances like this. After another mile or so we come across a clearing.
"This is far enough" Dean says. "We can park here and hike to the camping spot. It's just through the trees on the other side!" Dean is so excited he can barely contain his glee.
"Wait, we're not camping here? I ask puzzled. I had no idea we'd be hiking to the campsite and leaving my jeep. I'm slightly uneasy but I trust Dean completely. I guess we can't drive through the trees so it makes sense I just wasn't prepared to leave our only means of transportation behind. What choice do I have? So we gathered our gear and supplies and headed away from "big red" into the trees. As we make our trek, Dean pulls out a compass and I joke with him about being so old school. I follow him through the woods wishing I had packed lighter. We walk for what feels like a million miles before coming to another clearing that seems to form a perfect circle. A perfect spot for a campsite, I think to myself.
"How the fuck did you find this spot?" I ask Dean genuinely surprised by his thoroughness.
"Read about it on an old forum where people from the old campsite we passed had talked about it" Dean explained. "Seemed like a cool spot and totally off the grid. I can't wait to show you the big surprise though." Dean's sly smile had me both curious and worried.
I help Dean set up camp by pitching our tent and gathering supplies for a fire. I mostly assist Dean who appears to know what he's doing. We work quickly and get everything set up so that we can enjoy.
"Do you even know how to start a fire?" I ask. I'm not about to rub sticks together or anything so I was just making sure.
"Dude, remember who you're with" he says with a self-assured smirk. "I know what I'm doing." He pulls out a small bottle of lighter fluid and a striker. I'm not impressed. We gather some branches and leaves to get the fire going. It's still in the 60s but tonight it will get pretty cold. Not freezing but cold enough to warrant the fire.
We take a short break to eat some snacks I packed. While we eat and hydrate, we joke around just enjoying each other's company. I brought two gallons of water, and plenty of apples, bananas, peanut butter crackers, and beef jerky. I don't eat the jerky, but Dean loves it (eew). For dinner, I bought hot dogs to roast over the fire. We enjoy our meal while the breeze carries the green scent of leaves and pine to my nose. I breathe deeply, letting the clean, crisp mountain air fill my lungs. There's also the scent of Dean beside me who is close enough for me to smell his soapy, leather musk. It's tantalizing and mind-numbing. Dean's scent reminds me of an old book or vintage antique store. I catch myself staring at him when he meets my eyes mid-story. I quickly look away guiltily.
"So you wanna see the surprise I've been dying to show you?" he asks ignoring my flustered cheeks and obvious embarrassment.
"Sure thing, Dean" I said. "Let's go!" I follow Dean through the trees as the path becomes rockier. Soon enough I hear a small roar that grows as we approach. We pass a giant rock jutting out of the side of the mountain and tucked around the corner in a small alcove cut out of the mountain flows a giant twenty-foot waterfall crashing into a crystal clear pool.
"Wow, Dean it's beautiful" I exclaim as he leads me to the water's edge. Dean knows how much I love the water. It was a pleasant surprise and it's nice to know Dean thought of me when looking for this place.
"I know!" he says. "I wanted you to see this as soon as I learned about it. I knew you'd love it, Sammy." We bask in the cool, refreshing spray and let the roaring water roll over us for a moment before saying anything else.
"Look, Dean" I say. "A rainbow!" The fading rays of sunlight perfectly hit the mist form the falls creating a faint yet stunning display of opaque colors. It was perfect. As we stared at the marvelous sights, Dean begins to tell me more about the waterfall that he apparently has done extensive research on.
"Legend has it, that if you take a dip in the water beneath the falls you get 10 years of good luck" Dean explained with a knowing grin on his face. A shiver trembles down my spine.
"Oh, hell no!" I exclaim knowing exactly what he's up to. "There's no way we're going in there" I gestures towards the falls and the icy water below. "It's freezing, Dean!" I try to rationalize with him as he begins to shed his many layers of clothes. As he is doing this, I completely lose all train of thought. Before I can finish my logical argument, I'm rendered speechless by Dean's next-to-nakedness. Once he's down to his boxers, Dean takes off towards the water. Before I could admonish him further, he leapt into the frigid water. All I can think about is how this idiot is going to catch pneumonia and die on me. Dean came up for air with an adrenaline fueled shout.
"Come on in, Sammy! The water's fine!" he calls to me. "I'm not getting out until you come in." Damn him he knows exactly how to get me to do his bidding. It pisses me off. "So if you don't want me to die of hypothermia, I suggest you get your ass in here!" He is enjoying himself far too much. I throw him a glare that is icier than the freezing water but reluctantly start to shed my own clothes. Which granted wasn't that difficult since all I had on was jeans and a flannel.
"Fuck you!" I yelled as I leapt into the water with nothing on but white briefs. I know Dean well enough to know he's stubborn and means what he says. The only way I'm getting the son of a bitch out of the dangerous water is to go drag his sorry ass out myself. I'm livid. I see red as I shout obscenities at him while trying to drag him out of the water. "Happy now, dumbass?" I say drenched and chilled to the bone.
Dean looks satisfied as I drag his wet behind out of the water. It's cold but I expected worse. I don't know why Dean went through all this trouble. The only thing I can think of is that he enjoys setting me off. I know he likes to ruffle my feathers, but what I will never understand is why I let him do it. I should be madder at him than I am, but he has the biggest smile on his bright face that I can't even stay mad at him. Fuck him.
"I can't believe you actually did that!" I scold him as we try to dry off as best we can. Thank God for my over-preparedness because I pull out a towel from a light pack I took with us just in case. I offer the towel to Dean first without thinking but he refuses to let me stay wet so I hurry to dry of then give him the towel. Another reason I love Dean so much is that he is unabashedly selfless. He just laughs contently as he puts his clothes back on, sans underwear, and we start to make our way back to camp.
"Can't wait to get that fire going" I say as my teeth chatter uncontrollably. He assures me I'll be warm in no time. As promised, Dean gets the fire going and we settle down for the evening. We roast the hot dogs over the open fire and just sit in silence enjoying the sights and sounds of nature at night. There's something magical and ethereal about being in the woods at night with a glowing fire for warmth. It's primal and indescribable. I was sitting there enjoying the solace when Dean drops a bomb.
"Think we'll get lucky now?" Dean asks thinking he's clever. I cough trying not to choke to death.
"I beg your pardon!?" I manage to muster. I can tell he believes he won at rattling my cage.
"Since we went swimming at the falls, do you think we'll actually get our ten years of luck?" Dean asks. I can tell he's enjoying the torture.
"Oh, well knowing us, probably not" I answer honestly. "We have the worst luck but I'll take what we can get." I recover from my near death experience and no longer feel hungry. We finish our dinner and begin to make plans for the following day. The sun had set by this time and the stars quickly set the sky ablaze with life and light. The moon hung low and large watching over us as we bathed in the pale light. Our conversation slowly tapered off until we sat in silence merely enjoying each other's companionship. We stared up at the stars, contemplating our existence. Stargazing always makes me feel so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I like to be reminded of this because he helps ease my anxious mind for a few minutes at least.
I look over at Dean who's lost in thought. My heart glows like the fading embers of our quaint campfire. I should tell him now, I think to myself. No. don't ruin the moment, I argue with myself. I get frustrating with my own internal dialogue that I begin to freak myself out. Thank God dean shatters the silence for a moment.
"The stars are amazing, Sammy" he mumbles sleepily. "I wish we could see this many back home."
"Yeah, me too" I say. "I could stare at them all night." As we continue to gaze into the depths of the cosmos, I begin to shiver. Dean instinctively moves closer, and I clench my entire body. My heart is racing and I'm petrified he'll be able to hear it in the silence of the woods. When he gets this close it makes me lose my mind and I know I'm gonna say something I will regret.
"Bit chilly" I muster as he casually drapes his strong arm around me. The warmth he radiates is intoxicating. His sweet, earthy scent fills my nostrils and my sense are sent into overdrive. He's driving me mad just by his closeness and he has no idea the effect he has on me. Dammit.
"Dean…" I start but can't finish the thought. Here we go, I think to myself more nervous than ever. "I really need to tell you something" I finish breathlessly. He looks at me expectantly.
"Okay. What's on your mind, Old Sport?" he says encouragingly.
I try to pull the words out of the air but I feel like I can't breathe and the weight of the world is crashing down upon my shoulders. Too late now. Have I made a mistake? What do I do? I just wanted to disappear. "Well.. I…" my sentence gets cut off by the sound of a very loud SNAP from behind us. It sounded like a tree branch being snapped in two like a twig.
"What the fuck was that? I cry out with a jump.
"No idea" Dean said as he got up slowly to assess the situation. I grab the flashlight while Dean tries to find a heavy object to use as a weapon. He settled for a large branch.
"What the hell is that gonna do?" I ask almost amused. He says it makes him feel better to be armed so I let it go as we look around the place we hear the noise. I'm still pissed, and somewhat relieved, to have been interrupted. Oh well, maybe this was my first instance of good luck. Maybe it was good I didn't get a chance to screw up our friendship. We don't find anything but the incident has us both a little uneasy. Dean downplays it and assures me it was nothing.
"Don't worry about it. It's probably nothing" Dean reassures me as we settle back down. "How about we call it a night before we freak ourselves out anymore" he says rationally. Good idea. I nod in agreement and we climb into the small tent to get ready for bed. "Oh, what were you telling me before?" he asks.
Shit. I was hoping he had forgotten. "Oh nothing just forget it" I try to downplay the situation. "I'll tell you later. Don't worry about it" I say. Dean doesn't seem to be convinced but he doesn't push the issue. We get situated in our sleeping bags. The space is small but not uncomfortable. It was actually quite cozy and comfortable.
"Try to get some sleep, Sammy" Dean whispers in the blackness. "Big day tomorrow." he buries his head in his arm and start to drift off. "Goodnight, Sammy" he manages before slipping off into unconscious bliss.
"Night, Dean" I say before we both drift off. Hopefully I won't have too many nightmares thanks to that little scare earlier. I try to fall asleep thinking about how happy Dean was today and by meditating on his intoxicating smile which quickly lulled me into sweet oblivion.
