I got out of bed and went to school two hours early to avoid Mom. Avoiding difficult things doesn't make those things go away but it does give you time to prepare. I went up to the roof, my safe place, to get some room to breathe. It was already getting pretty cold in the mornings, I could see my breath as I sat alone up there in silence. 'I could tell her that I didn't mean it that way…' I considered. 'No… she'd never believe it. She knows I meant it that way. Dammit… why did I have to spill the beans? Why now? I just hated that she thought Deku was some patronizing rich brat like everyone else. I wanted to justify him to her but… I went too far and now there was no going back.'

I snapped the rubber band on my wrist a few times to beat back that familiar feeling of dread and depression. I couldn't let it get me or I would start crying again and people would see and it would literally be the worst thing I could do. I was just so afraid that Mom and Dad would think 'gay' and associate it with those TV joke characters. I had thought the same thing. I had never known a gay person in real life other than Deku. I knew of them mostly from the cringy stereotypes. The gay characters on TV wore furry jackets and swayed their hips when they walked. That wasn't me and Deku didn't act like that either. Would Mom and Dad think that, now that I have these preferences, that I would walk funny and talk funny too? I was still me, the normal Katsuki. I didn't want to change, I didn't want to become a stupid joke.

I kept snapping the rubber band, trying to drive out the darkness. 'Stop thinking!' I told myself. 'Stop thinking! Just chill out! Relax.' My wrist was soon burning bright pink and pain reverberated up my arm. I moved the rubber band to my other wrist and kept popping it, the pain successfully driving out my thoughts. I settled on the calming solution of just never going home again and never ever facing my parents. 'I can just sleep in the school gym, it's always unlocked so the athletes can practice whenever they want. I can shower there too. It's fine.' The cold morning air bit at my skin until I felt numb.

An hour before the school bell rung, Midoriya found me up on the roof and sat with me. "Kacchan…" He said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I replied, my voice almost relaxed enough to fool him.

"Listen… I had to do this too. In my case, my parents already had their suspicions so it wasn't so shocking when I finally said it. Still, it was difficult. I thought I was disappointing them. I thought they would think of me differently and that was really scary. I thought this would change everything and nothing would ever be the same." He said, speaking my fears exactly. "I'm not going to lie to you… there's an adjustment period for you and them. When you hear that about someone, you think you didn't really know them. Remember when I told you? Didn't you feel a little deceived? A little dumb-struck? They'll probably have those feelings too, it's only natural."

"Why are you telling me this? It's not making me feel any better." I growled.

"Should I tell you that you'll be accepted right away, everyone will understand, and it won't require any work? I don't think that's true anywhere in the world." He pointed out. "It'll take time. All you can do is try to understand why others react how they do and be honest. Tell your parents how you feel, when you realized your feelings, and what you want. Then just give them time. There will probably be some tension at home for a while but they'll accept you."

"How could you know that? What if they don't?" I snapped. I was taking out my internal fears and anger on him yet he met my eyes and stayed calm.

"Because you're their son and Japan is a new-age country. People are starting to understand." He put his hand over mine gently. It was exactly the comfort I needed. Anything more would have caused me to draw away from him. My breath began to slow down. His touch reminded me that I wasn't drowning alone, he was there, keeping my head above water the best he could.

"I don't want to go home." I admitted.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked curiously.

"I dunno… I could stay in the school gym."

"You mean fungus town? It's the only place where you can become HIV positive and contract athlete's foot at the same time. The whole place is covered in dry sweat and spit and blood. If you brought a black light in there, you would go blind from the sheer amount of glowing."

"Oh my god, I get it. Stop getting creepy about germs, I won't sleep in the gym. I'll stay in the park or something."

"Come on, Kacchan. Isn't running away from home kind of childish?" He asked.

My blood ran hot and I became defensive. "Who the fuck asked you!? I can do what I want, you're not my girlfriend."

Deku annoyedly wrung his fingers. I'll never understand how he dealt with my shit. "I'll never be your girlfriend." He reminded, his voice just a twinge harsh. "There's no need to act like this, Kacchan. Take a moment to breathe before you say anything else."

I was pissed but also guilty about snapping at Deku so I did as he suggested and shut up for a minute. 'Get a hold of yourself, Katsuki.' I told myself. 'Fuck'n chill out, Deku isn't your enemy. He's the only one on your side. Stop being such a dick.' I thought. "Sorry…" I said, my voice small. "I just can't deal with shit right now…"

Deku nodded and in a moment, he graced me with a sweet, sincere smile. "Okay, Kacchan." His voice cooed softly. "Let's do something fun, then. I bet I can make a better paper airplane than you~"

I watched his cute smile, I listened to his sweet comforts, and realized that I really did love him. I loved Midoriya Izuku, I wanted to keep him mine forever. Nothing seemed that bad when he was at my side.

For the next hour, we destroyed a whole notebook. We flew countless planes on the roof, some escaping out into the school yard. We made paperchains, some ten or fifteen feet long, with strips of striped paper and tape then hung them off the ledge of the roof. The wind made them dance around and even stole one, sweeping it off and depositing on a tree. Deku smiled and laughed. That made everything okay. No matter what happened, as long as Deku smiled, it would be okay. As long as he was happy, I could be happy too.

We went down to class just in time for the first bell. I opened the drawer in my desk to grab my extra notebook and found a half-page flier inside. I glanced at Deku. He was busy rifling through his backpack. I quickly grabbed the paper before he saw and scanned my eyes over it. It read:

There is a dangerous person in this class. Bakugo Katsuki is confirmed to have been in multiple fights inside and outside of school. He grows violent at the drop of a hat. He intimidates classmates. What's worse, I don't think he's mentally all there. Who could just loose 450,000 yen? His wrists are always red too. He's obviously not stable. Be careful of him. Maybe it would be better if he just went somewhere else…

From, a concerned classmate.

My face went pale. I immediately turned around to Monoma who was just casually writing in his notebook. I opened my mouth to confront him but was halted when I saw, in the corner of my eye, Deku going to open his desk drawer. I stood up and quickly slammed it shut, making him jump. He looked up to me, scared and confused. My heart was racing. "C-could you go get me something from the vending machine? I didn't have breakfast and I think I'm going to pass out." I said.

To ask for something like this was so out of character for me and he knew it. Still, he nodded, obviously confused, and walked out of the classroom. As soon as he was out of the doorway, I snatched the flier from his desk and crumpled it up. I scowled at Monoma, vicious. He looked up and acted surprised. "What's with that scary face, Kacchan?" He asked, drawing attention. Others looked at us. "Calm down… hey, you're scaring me. You're not going attack me like you did yesterday, are you?"

Whispers and gasps erupted from the audience. I looked around and saw that many of the students were holding the flyers. Fuck… he was playing me again. He was really good at being a sadistic little fuck. "I know you're the one handing out these flyers." I growled. "Knock it off, you're not funny."

"What flyer?" He opened his desk and pulled out a slip of paper, faking shock. "Oh, this? Is that what everyone's looking at? What's it about?"

If looks could kill, I would have cut him up into a million little pieces with my hateful gaze. A little finger gently poked my back. I turned around and saw my cute boy holding out a bag of seaweed chips to me and searching my eyes for approval. "Th-thanks." I took the bag of chips and gave him a little nod to show him that he had done the right thing.

"Did you see that? Poor Izuku." Someone whispered. I knew the greenette could hear it. "Katsuki just totally slammed his hand on Izuku's desk and ordered him to buy him a snack." They said. "Man, he really is scary." The other answered. "He should pick on someone his own size."

Deku confusedly looked to the source of the whispers. My heart sank. Why was this happening to us? Why had I ever made enemies with Monoma? It's a fight no one can win. "Huh? Why would you think he's forcing me?" He asked the students.

"Deku." I whispered sternly. I had told him to never get involved when Monoma was bullying me. I couldn't let him get involved.

He looked into my eyes, still confused and worried. He bit his bottom lip and decided to trust me, sitting down in his seat. I let out a sigh of relief. I would rather people think he was my enemy instead of a sympathizer. I looked around to the class. "If you received a paper in your desk, just ignore it." I said, trying my very hardest to look calm. "Those rumors aren't true. I'd appreciate it if you just threw them out." With that, I took my seat. It took everything in me to act with civility. I wanted to yell and throw desks.

Deku tried to make eye contact with me but I ignored him. I never wanted him to know what had been written about me, I didn't want him to hear their gossip, I didn't want him to see me as a victim. In my previous schools, it always ended up like this. The class turned against me, rumors spread, people got hurt. I wanted this one to be different.

Class began. Unfortunately, Mr. Mori's mother had become very ill and he had to take off some time to go home to Vietnam and take care of her. The good news was that everyone was distracted by the change and the note almost immediately was forgotten. The new teacher, Mr. Aizawa, didn't really look like a teacher at all. He wore what barely qualified as business casual and bore an expression of boredom and annoyance. After explaining what happened to Mr. Mori, he followed up with "Don't ask me when he's coming back, I don't know. Don't talk over me and don't come crying to me about stupid drama. I know you're in high school and you guys have a lot of feelings but deal with them yourselves. Unless someone broke their leg, I don't want to hear about it. Now, get out a piece of paper. We're having a test."

A girl in the back of the class was feeling brave. "Mr. Aizawa, is it really fair to test us when you don't even know what we've learned?" She asked. People whispered, drawing off of her bravery.

He responded with a cold stare and the room fell silent. "It's a pretest for that exact reason but since you don't seem prepared for a test, why don't you go stand out in the hall and you can take it after school when you've had some more time to wrap your head around it." With that, he sent her out to stand in the hall. Students stared at each other in shock and fear. I was ecstatic. This guy was definitely big news, no one would ever mention that flyer again, Mr. Aizawa would get all the gossip for the next few days.

We took the pretest in dead silence. Even when it was over, no one dared speak a work to each other. They just watched Mr. Aizawa, unsure of what would tick him off. He asked Iida to bring him the tests and he sat at his desk. "I have to look these over. Do your homework or talk amongst yourselves or whatever. Just don't get too loud." He said in his flat voice, putting up his feet on the desk.

No one dared speak for a few minutes. They whispered to test the waters before carefully raising the volume to a low mutter. The classroom became a buzz of quiet chatter. Deku poked me with the end of his pencil. I looked over to him.

"Hey, what was going on this morning?" He asked.

"Nothing. Monoma was trying to start trouble again, that's all. It's over." I told him in a low voice.

"Oh." He nodded a bit.

I went into my backpack and pulled out two silver coins, offering them out of Deku. He looked at them with surprise. "It's for the snack." I said.

He accepted the coins. He never asked me to reimburse him for anything but he knew I wouldn't take no for an answer.

The day was blissful. Everyone was so afraid of Mr. Aizawa that nobody spoke or bothered me. That was, until the lunch when Monoma was feeling ballsy again. He left the flyer on Mr. Aizawa's desk during the lunch break and it wasn't long until the man discovered it. He slammed down a book on his desk, startling the whole classroom. He held up the note with a stern scowl on his face. "What shit is this?" He asked harshly.

Everyone was frozen in shock. We had never heard a teacher curse. "Who's Bakugo Katsuki?" He demanded next. I raised my hand. He made eye contact. "Deal with this. I'll turn a blind eye, just don't let garbage like this bother me again, alright?"

I nodded. He sighed and threw out the note. "Whoever made that, stop being a coward and just deal with disagreements physically. There's nothing honorable about hiding behind a note like this. If I hear one more thing about it, I'll get serious. Everyone, notes out. We're covering adverbial clauses."

I glanced at Monoma and was glad to see him stewing in anger. 'Yes! Turn your anger against Mr. Aizawa, you stupid shit. He'll destroy you.' I thought vengefully.

The school day finished without anyone mentioning the note again. Deku, as always, clung to my side when it was time to leave. I slung my bag over my shoulder. "Hey, today I'm just going to walk you home then head home myself." I said.

"Aww, but I want to hang out." He pouted, making me smile.

"Not today. I have to be alone for this." I said, patting his fluffy head twice. The contact made his lips turn up in a smile. We started on our way home.

"Are you going to talk to your parents?" He asked.

"I guess…" Truthfully, I felt a lot more relaxed after spending a few hours with Deku. I had decided that, when I start to freak out, I'll just picture being on the roof and making paper airplanes.

"Remember, it's going to take time. No matter how today goes, they don't hate you and you aren't rejected, even if it feels like that." He said.

"You're not building my confidence." I replied.

"Sorry, sorry. I just want to make sure you go in with realistic expectations so it hurts as little as possible. Even though by mom had assumed the truth, it was still hard for her to grasp it when I confessed and it took us a while to deal with it. Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"I'm sure."

"Kacchan, it's okay if you get emotional, I won't judge you."

"I know. I just want to do this myself. I'll text you tonight."

"I love getting your texts~"

I scoffed. "You're such a girl." I teased.

"Kacchan… do you really think of me as a girl? Earlier, you said that I'm not your girlfriend." I heard some insecurity in his tone.

"What? No. I mean… I don't know what I mean, it's hard for me to think of you as a boy and a romantic interest at the same time. Like, obviously I know you're a boy. I just always assumed I'd fall for a girl and have a girlfriend someday and that idea is kind of engrained into me so… I dunno. Kinda? Give me a while to get used to the idea of having a boyfriend. It's still new and super weird…"

"Boyfriend?" His cheeks were pink.

I flushed deep red upon realizing my word choice. "I-I didn't mean-! Y-you're not my boyfriend." I stuttered. "I mean, you're not not that… shit, what am I even saying?"

"It's okay, I know what you mean." He said. "You're not not my boyfriend too, then."

"Stop talking." I was so embarrassed. I mean, of course I wanted him to be that eventually. I just didn't know how and when. I'd never asked someone a question like that before. 'Should I do it at the aquarium? Do I have to do it on one knee? No, that's an engagement thing, I think. Don't people usually give the other person flowers or a teddy bear? I'm not doing a fuck'n flash mob.' I thought. 'Is it too early to ask then? I mean, our parents already know and we've already kissed so… I guess. Shit. What if he says no? I'm not going to ask if I'll get rejected.' I turned to him. "Is that something you want?" I asked bluntly.

He nodded, his face on fire. 'Okay, I'll ask at the aquarium.' I decided. 'I gotta go get a fuck'n flower or something.'

When I dropped him off at home, he wanted another peck. I tried to avoid it, embarrassed, but he eventually got one before I left. I felt my lips buzzing where they had touched his. When I got home, Dad was there in the livingroom. Mom must have told him. "Hey, Dad." I greeted, trying to be casual. "Is Mom home?"

"She's on her way." He replied.

"Did you both get out of work early?" I asked.

"We both requested it. It's been a while since we've had dinner as a family." He said. I knew what he meant. We needed to talk.

"Okay… I'll start my homework, then." I went upstairs and completed only 3 math problems before Mom was home with a bag of takeout. We sat down and served ourselves, no one saying much of anything. Someone would say, "How was your day?" then the other would answer, "good" and we would glance at each other awkwardly. I closed my eyes for a moment and thought about this morning on the roof. I remembered the cool breeze, the paper chains, Deku's cute smile. I took a breath and said it.

"I like Deku." I admitted, breaking the barrier that none of us wanted to cross. I didn't want to look either of them in the eye, this was hard enough as is. "I started liking him as soon as I met him but I didn't start to realize it until that fieldtrip."

My dad was the first to speak. "Is Deku that Midoriya boy? The one who's over here all the time?"

"Yes, Honey." My mom answered. Her brows were furrowed slightly. "I just don't understand why you never mentioned this to us before. I- I mean you're completely blind-siding me here, Katsuki."

"I didn't know." I defended, setting down my spoon to show that I was serious. "Or… I knew but I didn't want to admit it to myself. It's scary to realize that you don't know everything about yourself, y'know? Well, actually, you probably don't. You guys turned out normal, right? I'm the one who's all messed up."

"Katsuki, you're not messed up." My dad said. "Th-this is just a different but legitimate way of life. We know that. Your mother is just a little confused." He said.

When I looked up, I saw that there were tears in Mom's eyes. Deku had said this would be hard and he was right. "Kacchan… I thought we were close. We used to tell each other everything." She said, making my heart feel like a rock.

"W-we are close, Mom. I just… It's been harder to figure out what to say to you recently. We don't see each other that often because you have to work so hard. A-and I wanted to tell you… I just needed time to figure out my feelings first. I'm… I'm sorry…"

My mom turned away. Just like me, she hated to let people see her cry. "Did you really not know until the fieldtrip?" She asked. "When I researched online, people say they'd known since a very young age. You always talked about getting a girlfriend or a wife, even as a little kid. I just don't understand how that changed."

"I don't know, Mom." I admitted, feeling helpless. I didn't have the answers to all of her questions.

"Then are you even sure? If these feelings just sprouted up, how do you know they're not hormonal imbalances or something?"

"Honey…" My dad said. He'd always been the calmest of all of us. "Remember what we talked about? The first thing you have to do is validate his feelings."

They had researched and prepped for this discussion. I crossed my arms, closing myself off. It was hard… it was really hard. I didn't like my experiences being processed through plans and steps. I didn't like that Mom was acting like I had deceived her. She was never home anyways, when was I supposed to talk to her? Didn't she understand that I was dealing with a lot of shit too? I was old enough to want to figure out my own feelings without consulting her every step of the way.

Mom took a deep breath. "Katsuki… I know that, to you, these feelings are very real. I believe you. I just wonder if they couldn't be trigged by something else. Maybe you've been lonely at your new school so companionship is really intense for you. Or maybe you're just a growing boy with confusing sexual feelings." She said.

I scowled and looked away. What could I say to justify my feelings? I couldn't promise her that these feelings would last forever, I couldn't explain their sudden materialization. I couldn't explain any of it. All I new was that, in this moment, I was very much in love with Deku. "Maybe it's both of those things. Maybe it is that loneliness makes intimacy more intense. Maybe my hormones are playing a role in this. I don't know, but that sounds pretty close to the truth. But it's not like I feel this way about everyone. One of the biggest reasons I feel this way is because Deku is himself." I said, my voice full of angst. "I don't like every boy, I like Deku far more than anyone else in my class."

My parents were quiet as they thought over my explanation. "Maybe… we should meet Deku." My mom suggested, making my protective instincts kick in. 'Why? So you can interrogate and inspect him? To figure out what it is about him that ruined your son? No way. I won't subject him to your scrutiny." I thought.

"Why?" I growled. "It's not like you've never seen him before."

"Because now the circumstances are different." Mom countered, matching my annoyance.

"So you want to treat him like a Miss Universe contestant?" I spat back. "He doesn't have to prove anything to you, back off." I knew I wasn't making things better for myself by acting like this. Dad stepped in again, trying to break the tension.

"Katsuki, calm down." He said softly. "We're just trying to understand, please consider that. This is a lot to take in." He turned to his wife. "Honey, it's not fair to put this on Midoriya. We have plenty of time to get to know him. Let's get to know Kacchan first."

"Are you kidding me?" I asked harshly. "Get to know me? You know me! I'm your son! I have a crush on someone but I'm still me!" I barked. I was scared. Were we really strangers now? Had I ruined things that badly? Why wasn't there a way to just take this all back? I stood up from the table and turned my back to my parents, prepared to go upstairs to my room when a hand reached out and took hold of my shirt.

"Kacchan…" My mom's voice called. It had completely changed tone. She sounded desperate and regretful. I turned around, our teary eyes meeting. "Kacchan… we love you." She said, making my anger evaporate like steam. "We love you and we want to get to know you better. Since starting at that new school, so much has changed and you've grown so much. We just… we didn't realize how much we were missing out on in your life." She looked to my dad and he nodded in agreement.

"That's right. Katsuki, you've grown so much recently. You're more mature, you're more motivated, you're happier. Your mother and I… we don't want to become one of those families that talks about the weather and keeps secrets. We want to know you, we want to watch you grow up, we want to be there and recently, we haven't been able to. We were talking about it last night and, since you started hanging out with Midoriya, we've seen you become more patient, happier, more relaxed, more confident. He's changed you a lot and for the better. So for us to get to know you, we want to know him. Does that make sense?"

I nodded slowly, looking down at my shirt and staying silent as the tears fell. I was being such a child but I couldn't help it. I did care what my parents thought about me, I did love them, I did want to be close to them and show them the person who changed everything for me. My mom got up from her chair and hugged me just like when I was little. I couldn't remember the last time she'd held me like this. My arms slowly closed around her as I relaxed into her embrace. It felt okay. I felt okay… the world wasn't going to explode, everything was fine.

The crying gave me a horrible headache so Mom said I could take my dinner up to my room and lay down for a while. I texted Deku from my bed, my eyes exhausted and forehead burning.

Bakugo: Hey.

Midoriya: How'd it go? Should I come over?

Bakugo: I'm fine, chill. It went okay.

Midoriya: Okay is the first step to great 😊

Bakugo: You're cute.

Midoriya: Why'd you bring that up?

Bakugo: It's easier to tell you over text.

Midoriya: Is it difficult for you to give compliments in person?

Bakugo: Kinda.

Midoriya: Then, when you think, 'he's cute', make a little heart with your thumb and index finger so I know what you mean.

Bakugo: No way, that's embarrassing.

Midoriya: No one will know what it means expect for me. Every time I think 'Wow, he's really handsome' I'll do it too. Okay?

I blushed. He was so adorable.

Bakugo: Fine.

Midoriya: I found a note in my backpack when I got home. Is this what all that fuss was about this morning?

He attached a photo of the flyer. I should have known Monoma would pull something like that.

Bakugo: Ignore it. And put a password on your phone. I don't want him reading our texts.

Midoriya: Okay. I did. Can I punch Monoma?

Bakugo: What? Of course not. Stay out of it.

Midoriya: But I want to. You get to beat up people, how come I don't?

Bakugo: What kind of a question is that?

Midoriya: I want to defend you like a hero too.

I covered my mouth with one hand. How was he possibly this cute?

Bakugo: Shut up.

Midoriya: You can't just tell me to shut up.

Bakugo: Do you know why I haven't punched him yet? Because he's a crazy psychopath without limitations or remorse.

Midoriya: We should get him in trouble with Mr. Aizawa. He's scary.

Bakugo: Are you trying to out-crazy a crazy person? Go to bed.

Midoriya: I'm not tired.

Bakugo: Good night.

I put down my phone and hugged my pillow. Deku was adorable. I really, really liked him. I liked that his hair got fluffier when it was humid, I likes his soft speckling of freckles, I liked that he smiled with his teeth, I liked that he always smelled like soap. I thought back to when he called himself mine. that feeling made me want to jump up and down and scream like a fuck'n prepubescent girl.

Could I really introduce him to my parents? Could we have that kind of a relationship? It seemed like a complete fantasy. Watching movies together in the living room, holding hands openly, laying my head on his lap. Did I really deserve such a great reality? Could I really have something like that?

I picked my phone back up and researched how to ask someone to be your girlfriend or boyfriend until I fell asleep to a video about how to pick healthy roses. I wanted to do it perfectly, I really wanted it to work. I really needed him.