A/N: Hello everyone, we meet again!

This time we have a nice and fun Christmas chapter, because it's December for them although we are not even past Halloween yet, I hope that's okay…!

Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and follows, you guys are the best!

Answering reviews:

Alguien22792: Thanks! To write Alfred's kids is really fun so we're glad you enjoy it! We have lots of plans for Arthur interacting with them, so stay tuned ;)

Hetalialoser: it's okay, thank you so much for leaving a small review, though! It means a lot! And mmmm who knows… wink wink. We'll get to that~

Alise: We're glad you think so! Hope you keep enjoying the story! =D

Vc103221: Aww, thank you so much! We were trying to make that contrast between Alfred's cheerful, homey live to Arthur's loneliness and empty apartment, so we're glad you noticed it!

Cone of Depression: aww, hope you like this new chapter as well! Bill's really small so he's shy around Arthur for now. Let's see how that goes in the future~


Chapter 03: Llama Llama Holiday Drama

December 8, 2017

With December starting, Alfred began to prepare for Christmas celebrations with his family. November still had kind of a Halloween vibe to it but now Christmas was full on, baby! He couldn't make elaborate Christmas dishes and he didn't have time to cover his entire house in ornaments and lights, but he wanted to make sure his kids would eat a nice dinner and that his Christmas tree would be absolutely gorgeous.

Everyone was running around in December. Going after Christmas gifts, decorations to put around the house, distant relatives who had to be invited to awkward family parties, all of that.

So Alfred couldn't help but to wonder: how would Arthur spend his Christmas Eve? He had not said anything about going out with someone. Also, did he even had family there? Was he invited to something?


"Are you sure? You can stay with us, you know."

"Francis, I'm not going to spend Christmas with Joan's family. I don't even know them." Arthur sighed. It was the second Christmas invitation he had refused that day.

"Well, I'm asking because I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be alone. And Ludwig told me you declined his invitation too." Francis replied.

"And since when do you talk to Ludwig?" Arthur raised his eyebrows in surprise,

"Ever since my best friend got sick and we bumped into the hospital corridors in a daily basis." The answer came dry and followed by a sigh, "We just want the best for you and for the baby."

"I know. I know. But I don't want to spend Christmas with strangers and I don't want to spend Christmas with Gil's family, Francis. I... I can't." Arthur confessed, swallowing dry and feeling that knot in his throat that made his eyes wet.

He'd thought about it, and he just could not bear the thought of spending Christmas with Gilbert's family, with all those people who resembled him, who spoke like him. Arthur knew it would be difficult for them too, and that they cared and would like to feel the baby and see that a small part of Gilbert was alive, but... Arthur just wanted to stay home, just wanted to be alone, where he wouldn't need to hold his tears in or fake smiles.

"It's okay." Francis said then, "I'll keep my phone nearby, so call me if you need anything. Take care, okay?"

"Okay." Arthur murmured, "Wish Joan a Merry Christmas for me."

After ending the call, Arthur curled up in his bed and hugged one of his pillows. Despite everything, he had good friends. And that made him think about Alfred, and about how much his Christmas would probably be colorful and nice. Arthur smiled a little. He decided to buy a gift for the kids later, when the prices dropped after Christmas. Maybe something for Alfred as well, as a thank you for the book, the tips and for the nice company.


With four days left before Christmas, Alfred invited Arthur to pay him a quick visit in the evening, already kinda expecting to be rejected because the holiday was so close and Arthur surely was busy as most people were at that time of the year. However, he was pleasantly surprised to hear Arthur saying that yeah, he could pay Alfred a quick visit on that day. Wasn't he busy with Christmas preparations in his house, then? How curious. Would he spend Christmas at someone else's place, perhaps? Would he go to a party?

"I'm going to spend Christmas at home." Arthur replied, hiding his face with the teacup Alfred had offered him. There was very little time left until Christmas, and of course, Alfred's house was in a Christmas mood. The Christmas tree in the living room was big and decorated with lots of angels and Santas and lights, the "ugly" sweaters the children were wearing and the red and green cushions… it was all very homey and nice. "I'm not in the mood this year, so... I decided not to disturb anyone's party."

Deep down, Alfred thought that this might be the case... That's why he was hesitant to ask Arthur about that before.
"What are you going to do, then? Are you going to watch some Christmas movie? Invite your friends to your place?"

Arthur shrugged,

"I'm going to set up something like a nest in my bed and... well, sleep." he replied.

To Alfred, that seemed a little sad. The first Christmas after his husband's death had been very difficult for him. If he had not received his family's support, he would probably be completely devastated. Would Arthur really be alright alone?
"Don't you wanna come here? The kids and I will be having a small celebration on Christmas Eve. We would be happy to have you as a guest."

Arthur hid his face with the cup again. Alfred was so kind. His eyes got a little wet, but he disguised it as best as he could.

"Thank you but no. I'd rather be alone." He faked a smile, "I'll be fine."

If he was saying so, Alfred wouldn't insist on it. He knew insisting would be uncomfortable for both of them. Despite his concerns, he simply told Arthur that if he changed his mind, he could join them anytime, no worries, no problems.

Arthur thanked him again and said that it would not be necessary. He'd be fine.


On Christmas Eve, however, he was not fine.

He was feeling awful.

He'd cried for most of the day, put on Gilbert's clothes, and looked at all the photos they'd taken together. This was Gilbert's favorite holiday. And that was the first Christmas without Gilbert, and Arthur couldn't deal with the hole he'd left in his life. His mark was all red and a little swollen and sore because of how much Arthur was touching and squeezing it, and he had no one to...

He had no one.

As the sun began to set, realizing that staying alone any longer in that apartment would only make him feel worse, Arthur picked up his phone. He thought about calling Francis, and then Ludwig, but in the end...

He ended up texting Alfred. Because his voice was still cracking with tears, and he didn't want Alfred to know that.

Arthur: Hey, Alfred. Everything ok? I'm kind of bored, so I was thinking... if the invitation is still up?

Arthur: I'll understand if you have any other plans, I mean, I'm sending this super late...

Arthur: Anyway, Merry Christmas!

Alfred's reply came about fifteen minutes later.
Alfred: Sorry for the delay! I was finishing some jiaozi!
Alfred: Of course you can come! Do you want a ride? I can get you with the kids!

Arthur: Yay! No, it's okay. I can get an uber from here. You can help me pay and I can make a cheesecake for you! :P

This time, Alfred's message arrived in ten seconds.
Alfred: No problem! =D Come soon! The jiaozi will still be hot if you don't take too long!

Arthur: Ok!

Arthur: … what is jiaozi? Isn't that… Chinese food?

Alfred: Yeah? I dunno. I learned it from my friend! He said it was a popular food in Japan!
Alfred: Anyway, I bet you'll like them!

Arthur: Alright. I get there in half an hour.

Arthur sent the last message and sighed, feeling a little bit better and a bit less melancholic. He was also feeling a bit curious to why Alfred was making Chinese food for Christmas.

He washed his face in the bathroom and put on warm and presentable clothes. Then, finally, he left his apartment.


As soon as he hung up the phone, Alfred got on high alert. Oh, fudge. Arthur was coming. He wasn't expecting Arthur to actually come! The house wasn't tidy enough! The kitchen was a bit greasy because of the jiaozi! There were dirty dishes in the sink! The kids were playing with a bunch of stuff in the living room!

Alfred quickly urged his children to store their toys and ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes as fast as he could. Emily offered to sweep the living room and Alfred had to accept her help because he REALLY had to rush. He practically flew through the kitchen, trying to wipe the stove and put the dishes away at the same time. That impromptu cleaning was a race against the clock and, honestly, it felt like an action scene.

Then, the bell ringing made everything stop and he had to relax again. He did what he could. Now, he could only hope Arthur wouldn't find the house too messy.

"Hello," Arthur said as Alfred opened the door.

He was well-wrapped with a scarf around his neck that covered part of his face. He had been only a few minutes outside, but it was snowing and cold and his cheeks and nose were red. He held up a plastic bag. "I... I didn't want to come empty-handed, but I didn't have time to buy anything, so... I just bought a chocolate box for the kids. For Christmas. You have gift wrap, right?"

Alfred was surprised to see Arthur bringing a gift, considering how rushed was his decision to visit. Alfred bought some gifts for Arthur but they were not wrapped yet because Alfred thought he would give them to Arthur only after Christmas.

"Uhh, I have, but we're gonna have to wrap our presents together" he rubbed his neck with an awkward grin. "My gifts aren't wrapped either."

"It's all right." Arthur replied, then looked at the floor, "I... I'm sorry that I've changed my mind out of nowhere... about coming, I mean. I hope it's not a problem."

That was far from a problem for Alfred. It had been a pleasant surprise to know that Arthur was willing to spend his Christmas with him and the kids. Their Christmas usually was very simple and quiet. They rarely had guests.

"It's good to have you here, Arthur." Alfred admitted, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder and giving him a warm, sincere smile. "Uh, our Christmas schedule is basically eat dinner, watch Christmas cartoons and then sleep early. Does that bothers you?"

Arthur shook his head and ended up smiling too.

"No. Actually, that sounds great. I don't think I would have energy for much more than that."

As they talked, Emily and Bill continued to play with their early Christmas gifts in the middle of the room, and Alfred had to go where they were to get their attention.
"Hey, you two! Arthur is going to spend Christmas with us! How about we wrap that gift you chose for him? He brought a gift for you two as well!"

"Hello kids. Arthur waved, his face red. He was embarrassed to have brought only a box of chocolates while, apparently, Alfred had bought something for him... "Merry Christmas."

"Hello, Arthur!" Emily stood up and walked over to him, holding out her hand to greet him. "Merry Christmas!"
Billy, for his part, was still a little afraid of Arthur and just waved shyly from his corner, averting his gaze.

Arthur greeted Emliy with a firm handshake, unable to contain a smile. Those children were so adorable. They awakened an instinct of protection he didn't even know he had.

"Hello," he repeated, "I hope I'm not disturbing your game."

"Will you join us?" Emily asked, seeming to completely ignore what Arthur said. "I'm a dinosaur. Billy is a wizard. Do you want to be a fairy or something?" she pointed to a pile of toys that included a plastic tyrannosaurus rex, a magician doll in classic sorcerer's clothes, a doll with fairy clothes and wings easy to take off, and a bunch of small animals lined up in front of a lego castle.

Alfred leaned close to Arthur's ear and whispered,
"Some of our relatives came to visit us today and they couldn't resist giving their gifts today. Can you believe those guys?"

"I would too if I were them. Your kids are too adorable." Arthur said to Alfred, then turned back to Emily, "I can join you, but first I need to help your dad sort things out for dinner."

"Okay, but what about our gifts?" Emily asked. She could very attentive to certain details.

"You'll get Arthur's gift after we wrap HIS presents!" Alfred answered, gesturing for the children to follow him, which they did immediately because they were very interested in the promised reward.

The gift wrap, Arthur discovered, was in Alfred's bedroom.

Arthur didn't know how to feel about entering an alpha's bedroom, but he decided to follow Alfred and the children down the hall anyway. As they entered the room, however, Arthur stopped at the door and hesitated.

Alfred's scent was strong there. Arthur sniffed and scratched his nose hesitantly but decided to come in. He'd feel weird just standing at the door. Provided he kept his distance from Alfred's bed and clothes, his scent would not affect him too much.

So he went into Alfred's room and looked around. It looked like a clean room, but it was... a mess.

The bed was more or less tidy, though there were children's toys on the floor, a mess of papers and piles of books on the desk, figures in boxes on shelves, framed certificates and pictures on the wall...

And there were also some movies and games posters. Arthur ended up smiling to see a little more of Alfred as the children picked up the gift wrappings in the closet.

Alfred was an hygienic guy. He had to be for his profession. He was just a bit of a hoarder.

Now, accumulating trinkets had its advantages. Thanks to that, he had a bunch of gift wrap, ribbons, and other gift-decorating items that he could barely remember where had come from. Probably from several gifts given to his children over the years, and he had not had the guts to simply throw them away.

"Okay! Let's sit on the floor and wrap our presents now! Ah, except for you, Arthur! You can sit on the bed!" Alfred offered. "Please, don't look at the gifts I'm going to take out of the closet now! It's a surprise!"

Arthur hesitated. He was not exactly embarrassed, just... feeling kind of weird. To sit on an alpha's bed was...

So he decided to sit on the floor next to the children. There was a thick rug on the floor and the house had a heater, so he saw no problem in that. He knew he wouldn't get cold.

"Gifts? In plural? A-alfred, you didn't... didn't need..." he said, now rather embarrassed because all he had brought was a box of chocolates he had got at the deli on the corner next to his home.

"Well, to be honest, I was just going to buy one gift for you. A good one but a single one." Alfred admitted. As he scooped up his closet looking for the gifts, he explained himself better. "Anyway, that didn't work because my children saw my present when I brought it home and they got really curious about it. They asked for whom it was and then complained because they wanted to give a gift to you too. So we went to a local store, bought an additional gift they choose themselves and I kept mine because sometimes even I want to receive credit alone, ya know."

Arthur smiled awkwardly.

"I, uh... I didn't have time to buy anything better... I'm sorry, kids. I can buy you a better present after Christmas." He offered with a crooked smile.

Alfred had apparently found the presents in the closet, and, doing as he had asked, Arthur avoided looking in that direction.

Alfred brought the presents inside old bags that he found in his closet. One of the gifts was already in its own box, but hey. The more layers of mystery the better!
Sitting beside his children, Alfred handed them the bag containing a small box. He was trying so hard to be discreet about every move he made that he almost looked like a drug dealer delivering his products. It was kind of funny to see, actually.

"Okay, I'm going to turn my back to you so I won't see what you're wrapping up." Arthur said as he did just that, carrying a wrapping paper and a ribbon to wrap his box.

He heard Emily refuse Alfred's help to wrap the present and smiled a little at himself. He also was not very good with wrappings, but he hoped the kids wouldn't mind too much.

Alfred's gift was much larger than his children's and had been brought home in a bag, so it was kind of unnecessary to put it in a box, but he wanted to do it anyway to give his present a proper Christmas look. Fortunately, he still had the box in which his laptop came in. He had always kept it because, well, he could need it someday. Look who was right! He folded the bag carefully to fit in the box and started decorating it.

He took out a gift wrap with a space stamp and started to cut it in even squares, sticking it to the surface of the box. It was a time-consuming process and he took his time with it. Soon, his children began to rush him, saying, "Daddy, everybody's done wrapping presents, except you!" but Alfred remained focused. He couldn't let his gift box look like an old laptop box!

Arthur turned back to the group and placed his box wrapped in a flowery gift wrap with a yellow ribbon. It wasn't very pretty, but it's the thought that counts, right?

He then watched Alfred finish wrapping his box. Alfred had a serious, concentrated expression on his face, and Arthur stared at it for a moment.

Finally, when Alfred finished and looked in his direction, Arthur offered him a small smile.

"All ready?" He asked.

Alfred nodded and the children saw this as a cue to hold together their present, each on one side, and finally deliver it to Arthur, putting it on his lap.

"Merry Christmas," Billy said shyly.
"And thank you so much for making delicious desserts for us when you come here!" Emily added.

"Oh... thank you..." Arthur said, his cheeks rosy and a genuinely contented smile on his lips. He picked up his package and handed it to the children, "Merry Christmas. Like I said... I'll buy you something better later."

It was the first time Alfred had seen such a sincere, warm smile on Arthur's face. Usually Arthur smiled weakly and politely. He looked a lot better by simply smiling naturally.

"Oh, chocolates!" Emily exclaimed, after opening the package with Billy's help. "Daddy, Daddy! Can I have one now? Please, please?"

"Please?" Billy asked too, already taking one of the chocolates from the box.

Alfred sighed with a smile escaping his lips. How could he resist that collective request when his children were so happy and Arthur seemed so pleased with the effect of his gift?

"All right, but only one for each of you! You haven't ate dinner yet!" Alfred raised his finger at them in his best stern father pose.

"If you leave the chocolate for later, I'll make that dessert you love." Arthur offered, his hands resting on his gift, but not sure whether to open it now or not.

Emily and Billy were wide-eyed, amazed at the possibility of two desserts, as if this was something out of a completely alternative reality.

Billy, not quite understanding Arthur's proposal, put the chocolate he was holding in his mouth and then held out his hands to Arthur saying "where's the dessert?" It made Emily roll her eyes and huff impatiently, muttering that Billy had ruined everything.

"Arthur, open your gift. We can continue negotiating this deal later." Alfred walked over to his guest, patting his shoulder and showing him a smile that pretty much said "kids, you know how they are".

"Right." Arthur agreed, looking at the gift on his lap.

Carefully, he opened the package that revealed a small box of the store where it had been purchased. Arthur did not know that store, but the box was beautiful, decorated with drawings of vines and flowers.

When he opened the box, he found a large rose which, he soon realized, had a very, very pleasant and sweet smell, and that was not a real flower, but one of those decorative soaps.

Aww...

That was so lovely...

"Oh, thank you!" He said to the children and then to Alfred with a smile.

"Thank them for it! This is their present for you!" Alfred said, ducking credit for that gift. They had chosen it on their own, he just gave them the money. Now his gift was a different story. "Here's my gift, by the way. See if you like it!" Alfred excitedly held out the box he had been decorating for the last few minutes, eager to see Arthur's reaction to what was inside of it.

Arthur nodded and took Alfred's box. It was much bigger than the children's, which made Arthur a little anxious. Swallowing, he undid the package and opened the box. From inside, he pulled out a brown wool coat. It was big, soft, apparently warm and very pretty.

And certainly very expensive.

"A-Alfred, that's... I mean, thanks! It's beautiful! But! But you must have spent so much on it! I...!"

"I thought it really fit you. I couldn't resist buying it." Alfred shrugged with a huge smile on his face. "What did you think? Does it match your style?"

Arthur didn't have a style. He nodded nonetheless.

"It's beautiful. Really. Thank you. I don't even know... I don't even know what to say..."

Alfred was very pleased with his gift choice. He knew that Arthur wouldn't fit into most of his clothes when he reached a certain point of his pregnancy and so he gave him a coat big enough to fit him at all times. Arthur REALLY needed a coat suitable for an omega, anyway. He always looked cold in his coats for betas.

"Try it!" Emily suggested, so Arthur decided to do it.

He got up off the floor and put the coat on Alfred's bed as he pulled off his scarf and the coat he was still wearing. It was a big, worn-out jacket he'd bought at a thrift store. It was warm, but not enough and he always had to put on an extra sweater.

Then Arthur slipped on the coat Alfred had given him, and, heavens. He felt the difference at the same moment.

The coat's wool was very warm, and would keep the warmth of Arthur's body there, instead of dissipating it. He smiled at himself and folded his arms over his coat, closing it. So warm...

The smile on Arthur's face was like sweet caramel. It was so pure and wonderful. Alfred has never been so happy to give someone a gift. He spent a good time just admiring how well Arthur looked in that coat, especially with that look of delight on his face.

"I don't even know how to thank you..." Arthur said, turning to Alfred, "It's great. Thank you. Really." he said again, because honestly, how should he thank? He couldn't buy anything like that for Alfred...

"Do you want to have dinner now?" Alfred asked, looking into Arthur's eyes and lightly grasping his sleeve. "We have jiaozi!"

Seeing that Arthur continued to stare at him as if waiting for Alfred to add more options on the menu, Alfred realized with embarrassment that he wasn't exactly offering a Christmas banquet for dinner.

"Uh... This is all we have, I guess? I'm not good at preparing Christmas meals. Sorry." he owned up to it, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably.

"It's okay," Arthur smiled, "I just… don't know what it is? I mean, I've never had it before." he confessed, his face flustered.

"It's a fried dough filled with ground meat." Alfred explained as they walked into the kitchen. "My friend Kiku taught me this recipe and it became kind of my recipe for special occasions."

"Oh," Arthur said, "Sounds good."

In the kitchen, he helped Alfred put the dishes on the table and waited for Alfred to serve the children before he served himself too. Besides jiaozi, Alfred had prepared some simple tidbits. The plates were all red and green, which made the table very colorful.

Arthur liked to try new recipes, so he liked what Alfred had prepared. As Alfred seemed suspicious of his first compliment, he repeated it a few times.

Dinner went smoothly. The children talked about the toys they had got and about being excited for Santa's visit, and Arthur asked questions about what they were hoping to get from him, and whether they used to leave any snacks. Smiling, Emily explained that every year they left milk and cookies for Santa and that he always ate everything.

Arthur smiled at Alfred, who shrugged with an amused smile.

After dinner, Alfred put in a Christmas playlist on his phone and went to do the dishes. He told Arthur that he could watch something on the television meanwhile, but Arthur insisted to help him drying the dishes. The two stood side by side, close to each other, their shoulders almost touching as they did the chores together. That put a warm, good feeling in Alfred's chest. There was a domestic atmosphere in that moment which he had really missed sharing with someone.

"Hey." he smiled briefly at Arthur. "I hope you don't mind me saying this but you looked very cute in that coat."

"Oh. Thank you." Arthur smiled back. He didn't keep eye contact though because Alfred was too close and that didn't seem right, "The coat is really beautiful." He looked down to the floor, "And also thank you for letting me spend Christmas with you and your kids."

"Thank you for coming." Alfred answered, turning off the tap so he would not let the noise of the water disturb what he had to say to Arthur. He set the dish he had just washed on the sink and turned to Arthur, looking deep into his eyes. "Honestly, I have other friends and I have a family that supports me a lot, but I never had a friend who could visit me so often and who legitimately enjoyed spending his time with my children… What I'm trying to say is… thanks. For trusting me and for always arranging time to make these visits to my house." saying all those sentimental things was starting to get a bit embarrassing. Alfred had to look away or he would start to stutter. "I appreciate that."

"Oh, I like spending time with you and the kids." Arthur murmured because he was embarrassed by that sudden speech. Still, he was... content. It was good to have someone like Alfred around, someone who had been through the same thing that Arthur was going through at the moment. It was good to be able to look at Alfred and know that there was hope that he would get himself out of the hole where he was and... be happy again. Eventually.

Alfred and Arthur were silent for a while, just staring at the floor and distracting their hands, putting them in their pockets or dishes over the sink. Both had many feelings accumulated in their chest about a Christmas without their mates. They both had many feelings about the new friendship they were building. However, despite having many thoughts they would like to share and experiences they already shared, they still didn't had much they felt comfortable to say to each other and this was very evident at that uncomfortable moment.

Fortunately, their embarrassing silence was broken by Emily calling them from the living room couch to watch a movie on TV.

"Hey, you two finished the dishes, right? Come here! Look at this movie! It's so funny!"

So Arthur followed Alfred to the couch. He sat on one end of the couch, with Emily and Bill between him and Alfred. Arthur settled down on the couch and watched the movie while Emily and Bill commented on it.

The Christmas lights were blinking, the house was warm, the couch was comfortable, and out the window Arthur could see the snow falling. Alfred's children were laughing and having fun and Alfred was being friendly and kind. Arthur didn't know what that made him feel. His chest was warm, but at the same time it ached.

He missed Gilbert.


It was the kids who called them to watch the movie but they quickly got bored of it and went back to play with their toys. Perhaps that was all part of a great plan, considering that Alfred got so distracted by the movie that he only noticed how late it was when the credits started to roll. Oh, no! The children should have been in bed a long time ago!

"Okay, kids. Santa's not coming if you keep playing around in the living room. It's time to sleep." Alfred informed his kids, turning to them, leaning his elbow on couch's armrest and using his hand to support one of the sides of his face.

The children tried to ask in a pleading voice for another five minutes to play but they didn't manage to convince Alfred. Billy was almost fainting over his own toys. It was definitely bed time for them.

"Let's go. If you don't go to sleep, Santa won't be able to deliver your gifts." Alfred repeated himself. This time, Emily gave up and offered her brother help to get up.

Arthur stayed in the same spot while Alfred made sure the children would brush their teeth and put their pajamas on. He heard Alfred say, "Yeah, I'm going to put the milk and cookies for Santa, don't worry, Billy," and that made him smile.

While Alfred didn't come back, Arthur hugged himself and stared at the snow falling outside. He remembered the Christmas he and Gilbert spent together with Gilbert's family, and how at some point they always ended up cuddling on the couch, with Arthur leaning his head on Gilbert's shoulder and watching the fire in the fireplace.

His eyes were dry but when Arthur sighed, it was as if the air carried with it pain and longing.

Alfred noticed that Arthur wasn't even paying attention to the TV when he came back, so his original plan to ask him to go back to watching it was immediately scratched. Arthur seemed to be in a very pensive mood. He probably wouldn't care for movies at the moment.

Alfred, then, just sat down beside him, grabbed the remote, turned off the TV and playfully poked his forehead.

"You were so deep in thoughts, dude. I thought you were about to levitate something when I arrived."

Arthur blinked, caught by surprise, and shook his head.

"I wish I could levitate things." He remarked, looking back at the snow outside, "... I was just... remembering something." He sighed, "Alfred? How was your Christmas when... before?"

"Before what?" Alfred tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"Before your mate died." Arthur murmured.

Alfred felt the lines on his face tighten up instantly. Wow. That came like a punch in the stomach. What a question to ask on a merry festive day.

He almost got upset with Arthur for being so impolite with his feelings about that topic but... Urgh. They met at a widow's reunion. That should be expected. Arthur probably wanted to talk about it to deal with his own pain. Alfred couldn't get angry with him over that.

He took a deep breath, letting his expression soften and his heart settle down before answering Arthur.

"Well, we... What we did was… That depends on when you're talking about. When we dated, we didn't celebrate Christmas together. He celebrated it with his family, while I did it with mine. We usually met right after Christmas to exchange our gifts, though. After we got married, we started celebrating here at home. We liked quiet celebrations and our families definitely didn't want that. Antonio's family had too many people and mine had too much drinks." Alfred replied with a nostalgic smile.

Arthur nodded.

"You come from a small family, then?" he asked, and then looked down, "Actually, uh… sorry. For making these questions, I just… I don't know. Sorry. I… I can't stop thinking about my… about Gilbert, and I…"

"It's all right." Alfred said, cutting Arthur's apologies before they went any longer. "We can talk about it if it's something you want to do. I've had enough time to deal with my grief. I can talk about it."

Arthur stared at his hands on his lap.

"Today… Dinner was great, your kids are great and so are you, and yet… I, It's my first Christmas without…" he sighed, "I just… I feel kinda… lonely."

"I understand." Alfred sighed and his shoulders shrunk. He knew very well the kind of feeling Arthur was experiencing. The first holiday without a loved one was ridiculously painful. You couldn't stop thinking about how different that day would be if that person was there or how much more you could have treasured better the time you have spent together if you knew what was going to happen.

It was awful.

"I just… I want this to be over soon." he said in a quiet voice, "His family invited me over for Christmas, you know. But I just… I couldn't do it. Just to think about… about being in a place where he should be and won't be… I just… seems so wrong…"

"Sometimes you'd better celebrate in a totally different way than you would celebrate with him." Alfred agreed, nodding. "It prevents you from drawing parallels between what you are doing and what you might be doing if he were with you." now, before they continued talking about that depressing subject, Alfred had to do something first because that conversation was getting darker and darker. "Can I put my Christmas playlist on? I don't want children to hear this conversation by accident if they wake up."

Arthur nodded.

He knew that was an awful subject and he felt Alfred would rather be talking about something else. And yet... and yet... Arthur could not think of any other topic. He was feeling terrible and he just... wanted to vent a bit.

...maybe he should go back home.

A soft jazz song about enjoying a Christmas night began to play and Alfred came back, sitting down right beside Arthur on the couch, instead of sitting on the other end of it as he had done before. Thanks to that music and that new physical closeness between them, Alfred felt more comfortable and less depressed about the subject they were talking about.

"What kind of person was your mate? You never said much about him. Was he loud? Quiet? Fancy? Cool?" Alfred asked, legitimately curious. To not let it get too serious and sad, he also added with a teasing smile. "Was he good in bed?"

Arthur blushed, but then chuckled a bit.

"You don't... you should not ask this kind of thing to omegas..." he replied, "I mean... Gil loved to tease and talked about these things openly, but... it's kind of strange for some people," he shrugged and sighed, "He was... loud. He made sure everyone knew he was there. He was fun. He could be kinda brutish sometimes, you know, he didn't know how to express himself well in some moments, but... he was kind, friendly. He liked to drink with his friends, but he preferred to do it at home, to organize barbecues, and watch some game on TV... And..." He paused to chuckle a bit more, "And yes, he was good in bed."

Alfred laughed too. It was fun to imagine Arthur with such an extrovert. They must have been an interesting couple.

"Sorry, sorry. You know, when I lost my mate, I realized that I automatically started talking in a weird way about him when others asked about it, you know, what kind of person he was and such. I came to talk about him almost as if he were a divine entity. I only talked about how dedicated he was, how much his smile reminded me of the sun, how he was a person who could make friends with anyone in seconds…" Alfred commented with a painful smile, feeling his chest tighten remembering that. "That was all true, but it was kind of sad to remember Antonio as if he were just this set of qualities instead of a real and complex human being. Remembering him that way made him... I don't know, less real to me? Like I was barely remembering my real mate? And I couldn't accept it. I just couldn't. Nowadays, when I talk about him, I'm always adding details like 'he used to put tomatoes in every possible type of food, it was ridiculous' and 'he was really sexy, to be honest'. It's a small thing but it makes me feel closer to the real memory of who he was." he explained, this time with a soft expression that conveyed a sweet and warm emotion.

Arthur nodded, smiling.

"Do you have any funny stories with him? Once, Gilbert spent the weekend out with some friends... and when he came back, he wanted to be romantic and picked me up as soon as he got home... but I was having tea and I ended up dropping my mug on him... then we both fell. Luckily the tea wasn't so hot. He started laughing and as I was not, he tickled me." Arthur shared with a nostalgic smile, looking at a distant spot behind Alfred.

After that, they had had sex there on the floor, Gilbert with his back on it because the floor was cold and he didn't mind. Arthur decided not to mention that part, though.

"Funny stories, huh? Well, once, Emily made a birthday card for Antonio and tried to write a message for him in Spanish on it. She wrote 'Felicitaciones por sua treinta años' and gave it to us in the middle of our lunch at his family home. However, she forgot to accent the n and when Antonio read it, he began to laugh so much, so much that he fell to the ground and sat there laughing for a long time."

Arthur smiled, but he had no idea what the funny part was.

"I... I don't get it..." He confessed, "I didn't know you speak Spanish. Or Emily! She is so young and already knows a second language? That's amazing!" he said because he himself, at twenty-five, had never managed to get out of the basic school level of French. Gilbert had been trying to teach him German as well, but Arthur was not good at it. The pronunciation was complicated and Gilbert was not a very good teacher either.

"Antonio's family came from Spain and many of them only knew how to speak Spanish. I had to learn if I wanted to be a part of them." Alfred told him casually. "Because I didn't want them cursing me in Spanish right in front of me without I even noticing."

"Oh..." Arthur murmured, a little embarrassed. "Gil's family came from Germany... they were always speaking German during family gatherings. I... tried to learn it, but, well, Gil was not a good teacher... but his family was always kind to me. I doubt they spoke ill of me. While I was present, at least."

"Antonio's family was too big and I wasn't close to everyone." Alfred said honestly. "Seriously, his family parties had about forty people. There were so many people. It looked like a VIP room in a show."

"Oh, that's so many people! I thought the fifteen people in Gilbert's family were already a crowd!" Arthur commented.

"Yeah, I know, right? At what point in your relationship did he introduce you to his family?"

"Hm... early. We were dating for... two months, I think." Arthur said after a moment's thought, "Gil has always been very familiar. He introduced me to his family before we even... you know, spent a heat together. How about you? How did you get to know Antonio's family?"

"He was slow to introduce me to his family. He said they always were picky about his boyfriends and he wanted to avoid introducing us." Alfred briefly laughed at that memory. "He put it off for so long that he only introduced me to them after I asked him to marry me. I asked for his hand in marriage and he was like, 'If it was up to me, I would accept it, but I need to introduce you to my family first, Al'. So we went to his parents house, I was properly introduced to them, his family thankfully liked me and we were able to move on with the engagement. On the other hand, I introduced Antonio to my parents in our... fourth date? Yep, fourth date. That was so unfair. He needed years to introduce me to his parents but in the fourth date, I already knew he was someone I wanted to stay with." Alfred's eyes sting a bit and became a little blurred as he said it. He had to rub them. "I really did."

Arthur smiled and, as Alfred was close, he timidly laid his hand over his, trying to comfort him. He didn't know what to say.

"Once," he decided then to share some other funny story, "visiting Gilbert's family at Christmas, he persuaded me to have sex with him... but we ended up breaking the bed. He told his family that he had broken the bed by jumping on it... and they believed him. He was that kind of person." Arthur chuckled at that lukewarm memory. And as he chuckled, tears streamed from his eyes without him allowing them to.

"Your mate was funny, Arthur." Alfred answered, taking a deep breath and trying to stay strong and calm for Arthur. He put his hands on his own lap and lowered his head, looking distractedly at his pants' knit pattern. "You have some really cool stories to tell your child in the future. By the way... breaking the bed? You guys were wild. Holy moly." Alfred joked. He didn't want to make that whole thing more dramatic than it already was.

Arthur nodded.

"He was... when he was in the hospital... he was flirting with all the nurses. All of them. He said that, if he did so, they would all like him... and work hard for him to get out of there soon..." Arthur said, trying to laugh but sobbing instead.

He missed Gilbert so much...

He felt so alone.

He didn't know what to do.

He covered his face with both hands and shrinked on the couch.

Alfred felt disoriented about how to deal with Arthur sobbing right beside him. He didn't like to see Arthur like that, but he knew it was inevitable for him to feel like that in his first holiday without his mate. It was better for Arthur to cry and put it all out than to keep bad feelings inside until they began to consume his heart.

Alfred wanted to comfort him. He really wanted to make Arthur feel at ease, to show his support for him. He even tried to go for a hug, putting his arms around Arthur without touching him, but he lost his courage the middle of the way and slowly recoiled, afraid Arthur would lift his head and see what he was trying to do.

As he regained his arms, Alfred braced himself, bit his lower lip and looked in different directions for a while, wondering what to do.

Finally, he had an idea.

Alfred stood up, leaving Arthur alone in his living room.

Arthur knew he was making Alfred uncomfortable and he honestly would like to stop crying. But it was not that easy. He tried to stop his tears several times, but they just kept coming and he didn't know what else he could do.

That's why he shrank as much as he could, trying to make himself smaller and calm himself, trying not to think about Gilbert, or anything in particular.

He didn't even see when Alfred left but he felt when Alfred came back. He was still crying, but he lifted his face as Alfred sat down beside him on the couch. He was holding a mug and he offered it to Arthur. Mechanically, he accepted it.

It was warm and Arthur wondered how long Alfred had left his side. He was embarrassed to be crying like that in Alfred's house, so he lowered his face and took a sip of the contents of the mug. Oh. It was milk with honey... Arthur ended up smiling a little. Alfred was so kind.

When you are down, you may need some time alone to cry before you receive help from people who care about you. Knowing that, Alfred left and let Arthur be at ease to cry as much as he wanted. Meanwhile, he made a pleasantly warm milk with honey to make him feel better, since Arthur would lose a lot of energy crying like that.

Sadly, Alfred didn't know what to say to him now that he was back, so he just started humming softly to the Christmas song that was playing in his phone.

Arthur drank the milk as he listened to the music playing in the background and Alfred humming to it. Gradually, his tears were drying until finally there were no fresh tears in his eyes.

His chest was still heavy, but much lighter than before. He stared at his almost empty mug, too embarrassed to look at Alfred.

He set the mug on the coffee table and rubbed his eyes, feeling tired after having cried so much. His eyes were heavy, his body was heavy. He felt exhausted and not just physically. He leaned against the back of the couch and sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

Then, guided by Alfred's sweet scent, he leaned in that direction, resting his head on his shoulder.

He knew he shouldn't be doing something like that, but… he was so tired… so heavy…

With a Christmas tune in the background, Arthur closed his eyes for a moment.

"… thank you." He finally whispered, "For everything."

Alfred was about to say, "it was nothing, really," but when he turned to Arthur, he realized that his friend was now with his eyes closed and his breath slow and steady, giving no sign of his usual unintentionally-defensive posture. Had he fallen asleep? Alfred waved his hand in front of his face to test it. No reaction. Yep, Arthur was sleeping.

What now? What should Alfred do?

He did not want to move and wake Arthur, but he felt a little strange with him asleep leaning against his shoulder. Arthur was just a friend but he was still an omega... A very cute omega, now that Alfred was looking closely.

He had a good face. His hair had a naturally messy look that looked good on him. Even those eyebrows... Heh. They were funny. Pretty cute too.

Suddenly, Alfred began to feel a great urge to touch Arthur's face a little. Without even realizing what he was doing, he removed the hair that was falling on his face and used that move as an excuse to caress his cheek for a bit. He noticed that Arthur's skin was very soft and that his cheeks were surprisingly plump.

Of course, a few seconds after these thoughts occurred to him, Alfred became aware that he was acting super-weird and took his hands off Arthur's face. He still messed around Arthur's hair for a bit but he quickly stopped that as well, crossed his arms over his chest and took a deep breath, reminding himself that he was acting unnecessarily weird. The person next to him was Arthur. Someone he wanted to help with no ulterior motives for it.

Still… He couldn't help but react. After all, Arthur usually didn't look so relaxed beside him and much less got physical in his expression of gratitude or friendship for Alfred. Now, thinking about it, Alfred was a little grateful that this was not customary for Arthur because... Urgh. Up close, with his head on his shoulder, with a calm expression on his face, Arthur seemed absurdly precious. To smell him, to feel his weight against his shoulder made Alfred feel inexplicably agitated. He didn't like that at all.

Alfred risked another glance at Arthur. There he was with a milk mustache and deep dark circles under his eyes... He looked no less real than usual. He was definitely the good old Arthur. A clumsy little friend who needed help.

And yet, damn it, Alfred's heart was still racing while he looked so closely at Arthur's face.

What the hell.