Disclaimer: Not owned by me. Phantom of the Opera is amazing~
Note: English is underlined.
Chapter One
Late Night Lullaby
"Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angels' wings. Godspeed, sweet dreams"
- Radney Foster
I awoke the next day to my phone buzzing. Groaning, I rolled over to smack it, but it wasn't my alarm. It was notifications from the Mystic Messenger app. I really needed to go through the settings and fix that so my phone wasn't going over every second... I saw a couple ridiculously early morning chats I'd missed, and a short welcome one I'd been in just after accepting this... Deal? Job? I didn't rightly know what to call it.
Seeing Zen and Jumin in chat, I rolled over in bed and started typing.
[Aya]: Good morning Hyun. Good morning, Jumin.
[Jumin]: Ahh, good morning Aya. Have you eaten?
I glanced at the time. It was nearly 8am, and I wanted to laugh. I usually wasn't out of bed until noon on days where I didn't have classes, probably from my penchant of staying up to 3am from insomnia.
[Aya]: Not yet. I just woke up.
[Jumin]: I see... Make sure you get something to eat soon.
I rolled my eyes. Was immediately asking someone about their eating habits a Korean thing? Skipping meals wasn't generally a new thing to me, though I was always careful to get enough not to totally deplete myself after dancing.
As I was typing my question, Zen asked;
[ZEN]: ... Hyun? No one calls me Hyun.
I raised an eyebrow and deleted my question. That could wait.
[Aya]: Your name is Hyun, right?
[ZEN]: Yeah, but Zen's my stage name. Everyone calls me Zen. Is your real name really Aya?
[Aya]: Of course it is. If Luciel was here, he could confirm that, with all the background checks he is probably doing.
[ZEN]: I don't think he's actually doing that.
[Jumin]: Yes he is.
[ZEN]: *shocked emoji* Really?!
Before the conversation derailed completely, I cut in;
[Aya]: I am sorry. I prefer using real names. There is something... distancing about nicknames and stage names and fake names. If you prefer, I will call you Zen.
[ZEN]: No, it's okay... coming from a cutie like you.
I dropped my phone; it smacked into my night table on the way down. With a strangled yell, I lunged for it, only to get tangled up in my blankets. I slipped, tumbling to the hardwood floor. Groaning, I snatched up the phone and - bleary-eyed - typed;
[Aya]: I am not a 'cute' person. You don't even know what I look like.
Then, realizing my mistake, I groaned again. The phone has reverted back to English again. Still from my haphazard place on the floor, I typed again;
[Aya]: What I mean is... that is...
[Jumin Han]: You've made the newcomer flustered, Zen. *sighing emoji*
[ZEN]: Oh really~? *heart emoji*
[Aya]: I am not flustered!
[ZEN]: Sure you aren't, jagiya~ *hearts*
[Aya]: Omg... *sigh*
[Jumin Han]: Zen, must you flirt with everything that moves?
[ZEN]: I can't help it. I'm single, and she's no doubt beautiful~
[Aya]: You do not even know what I look like!
The conversation went on like that for a good while. I didn't even realize Jumin had left the room and with him, the ability to answer my question about when I'd start getting emails. I decided to throw Luciel a text instead. The chat was still open, and that man was still pulling his whole narcissistic schtick. Could he seriously not take a hint? I am not pretty, I am not cute, and I am certainly not worth the time or effort. Especially for someone of his budding fame.
Yes, I looked Zen up on noogle. So sue me. The RFA members mentioned his fame more than once, so how could I not? I was taking every kernel of knowledge they let slip and cross-reference it, digging online, doing my own amateur background checks... They didn't completely trust me, of course, but the feeling went both ways. I'd learned talk was cheap a long time ago.
Then I found the video. Luciel mentioned it in the chat, so I looked it up. This insane viral video of Zen's that propelled him to budding stardom. As I clicked play late in the night on that first day, I thought it would be some audition piece.
It was beautiful. The lighting was so that Zen glowed, his pale fingers flying over the piano keys. Then, intro done, he sang. He sang. I knew he was a musical actor, but dear gods... That voice.
It was halfway through the video that the first tear fell. A hand leapt to my throat and I choked. I felt hot and cold all at once, eyes wide as I watched the majesty of this man's musical talents. I missed it. Oh by the gods, how I missed it. But I couldn't. I couldn't do that anymore. The mere thought of singing brought me back to that place. And I couldn't, or whatever pieces of myself it'd managed to haphazardly glue back together would only shatter again.
My throat tightened. My pulse quickened, heart beating a staccato in my chest so hard I though it would burst from the fear.
Did the room get darker? All I could see was the light from my computer play as Zen kept singing.
I didn't finish the video. I shut down the computer, pulled the plug, and tossed my phone aside.
It was nearly a full day before I used the Messenger again.
Very late the next day, I finally retrieved my phone from the corner. I hadn't left bed all day. Hadn't eaten, hadn't showered... I looked like a haystack pile of unwashed brown hair and pale skin. Like some banshee, or a demon.
Dozens of messages waited me, and a couple... Emails? I froze, remembering how I'd wanted to ask about those yesterday, bit never got the chance. Thankfully Jaehee had left a long note on how to reply. I booted up my computer and, feeling a bit sheepish at ignoring the messenger to wallow in my self pity, set right to work. It wasn't too hard. I had access to Rika's old emails and files as well, and they helped me craft email responses to potential party goers. Some noogle searching told me more about the different groups or individuals so I could gear my responses towards getting a 'yes' from them. I did the work from my desktop after a quick message to Luciel to make sure it was okay. I didn't want to work in the apartment of a dead woman, especially since V so obviously didn't like me touching her things to begin with.
I checked the app near midnight, when the emails had slowed to a halt. I'd mostly messaged older groups, those who'd already been to RFA parties in the past. Seemed like the best place to start. Zen was in the chat room, along with Jaehee. I swallowed a bubble of jealousy, remembering that lovely voice of his from the video. With a long, deep breath, I let those feelings go. I couldn't dwell on them. It would bring me back to that place.
[Aya]: Hello, Hyun. Jaehee.
[ZEN]: Ah, the newcomer arrives! I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me!
I sighed. This man was really going to prove to be too much for me.
[Aya]: Sorry. I did not sleep well last night, so ended up sleeping all day instead.
[Jaehee Kang]: Did you get my message?
[Aya]: Yes, thank you. Just finished sending off a large batch of emails to the list of regulars that I found in Rika's files, the ones Luciel let me access.
[Jaehee Kang]: ... all of them? Very diligent of you.
[Aya]: Thank you. I have some experience with coordinating group activities. I helped run student government at my previous university.
[ZEN]: Ahh, right. The beautiful foreign exchange student~
[Aya]: Again, Hyun... you don't even know what I look like. I am using the default profile picture.
[ZEN]: Imagination, jagiya *heart emoji*
[Aya]: *sighing emoji*
[Jaehee Kang]: Excuse me, I have some emails of my own that need answering.
[Aya]: Goodnight, Jaehee.
[Jaehee Kang]: Goodnight.
- Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom -
Feeling a little uncomfortable being alone with Zen in the chatroom, I stood up. Leaving my phone on the coffee table, I went to take my coin skirt and shirt from the closet. At least I could get some practice in before going back to bed. Sure, I'd only been awake a few hours... but sleeping a lot was what I did. Or, more accurately, laying in bed unable to sleep but equally unable to find the energy to get up.
With those dark thoughts, I returned and set up my computer to play music. A nice, traditional Korean tune I'd found on YouTube. I was in the country, so I might as well practice dancing to it's music. But before I could start, my phone caught my eyes. A few messages from Zen, in the chatroom I'd left on.
[ZEN]: I don't know if you saw, but I got a new role~! Super excited about it. I'm practicing my lines right now. I know it's late, but I don't sleep all that much. Practicing my lines into the early hours is sort of what I do. *smiling emoji*
I looked down at the coin skirt I was fastening around my hips. Just like me. With a small smile I replied, even though it'd been a few minutes. He was still in the chatroom, at least.
[Aya]: Sorry, I was getting ready to practice too.
[ZEN]: Eh?! *shocked emoji* Are you an actor too?!
[Aya]: No, um... a dancer. And a musician. An artist, really.
I didn't know why I told him. Maybe it was the small hope of finding a kindred spirit here, with a love for art of all kinds. I couldn't help but smile again at his enthusiasm.
[ZEN]: Ahh, better and better! I'm a dancer myself; already told you I'm a musical theatre actor. Well, mostly. *smiling emoji* What's your style? Waltz, modern? I mostly practice theatre dancing, given my job, but I do a beautiful tango... especially with a partner. *heart emoji*
I rolled my eyes.
[Aya]: A few styles, mainly belly dance and modern. Um... I am about to practice the... um... I am sorry, I do not know the Korean words, but it is called the Tribal Fusion style of belly dance. If you look up the dancer Irina Akulenko on YouTube, you can get an idea of it. I used to do a lot of tango and ballroom, but both usually require a partner and I... prefer dancing on my own.
[ZEN]: Well, if you ever need a partner... *winking emoji*
How did I know he was going to say that? I sighed. It had been a good few years since I could bring myself to stand up with a male partner. I'd managed it with my female dancing friends back in the States, but dancing with a male? It made me shiver and brought dark thoughts to my mind. But, wanting to keep the peace and not give too much away, I decided to play along.
[Aya]: Hah, maybe one of these days casanova.
[ZEN]: What's that word mean?
[Aya]: Tell me what jagiya means and I will.
There was no answer, so I assumed he was busy and finished clearing out room, and started the music. It was calm and soothing, perfect for practicing isolation and slower choreography. I needed to keep my body in perfect shape if I wanted to succeed in classes. Even though my mind was in pieces... my body wouldn't be. Ever again. Before I could begin, I caught his answer.
[ZEN]: ... you really don't know what jagiya means? I would've thought you'd have looked it up, then.
Normally, yes. But my good translator was still packed somewhere, and I just hadn't thought of noogling it yet. I typed as much in the chatroom.
[ZEN]: Ahh, well I don't know the equivalent word in English. I only know a few words of your language, myself. Mostly thing's I've picked up from roles. It's a term of endearment.
Before I could butt in and ask exactly what that meant, he went on;
[ZEN]: You mentioned music too; I know some piano myself, and obviously singing. What do you play?
[Aya]: A few. Piano and violin, mainly. I used to sing, but not anymo- ghjks
I froze. He didn't need to know that. No one needed to know that, because if they knew, they'd ask why. Panicking a little, I smashed the back button on my phone... only for it to register as 'send' in my haste. I stilled, sucking in a breath and squeezing my eyes shut. Heart palpating, fluttering in my chest as anxiety coursed through me. I opened one eye, slowly, halfway, when my phone vibrated with a reply.
[ZEN]: You obviously didn't mean to send that, so I won't ask why. I would love to hear you play piano or violin though. *smiling emoji*
I stared at my phone in shock. Anyone I met back home who didn't already knew, always asked why. And here was this man, who I'd not actually met, acknowledging that but also letting it slide anyway. They always... pressed back home. I was known for my voice, for my playing, who when I started refusing to sing, and after everything happened, there were always questions. My eyes felt strangely misty, and I blinked multiple times before replying.
[Aya]: ... thank you.
[ZEN]: Of course *smiling emoji* I always love talking to a fellow artist~
[Aya]: I would play for you and the rest, but I cannot. This app... will not let me send video or photo, except for my profile picture.
[ZEN]: Huh, weird. Do you know that each of our app's have different features? Seven made them all a bit unique for us.
[Aya]: But I did not get mine from Luciel...
[ZEN]: Yeah... you could always call me, and I'll hear you play over the phone.
I blushed. In real life, I blushed. Sure, I'd seen the call feature on the app, but I hadn't used it these last two days. Luciel had called me once, to check on the app and get more information on Unknown, and I'd missed a call from Yoosung that I was too anxious to reply to. Before I realized what I was saying, I typed back;
[Aya]: Sure, I could do that sometime, I guess.
[ZEN]: How about now?
[Aya]: W-what?
He didn't answer.
[Aya]: Hyun!
A call screen popped up, hiding the chat from view. I could see his too-handsome face staring up at me, the little dialer ringing away a cute little pre-programmed tone just for him. I dropped my phone and it clattered against the hardwood floor with a resounding thud that somehow had a sense of finality to it. I stared down at it, unblinking, and oh so torn. Do I answer? Zen was practically a stranger. All the RFA were. They'd been nice and understanding so far, and I had to remind myself - again - that the organization was well known, if secretive, and legitimate in its charity work. But this was entirely different. They'd all been 'others' at this point. With the slight exception of Luciel, I'd never actually spoken to... any of them. To hear someone's voice is to make them real. More real than anything on a messenger, or still images send over the internet, ever could. Something tugged in my chest, and I fell to my knees, hand outstretched for the phone...
The call ended. I'd waited to long.
The chatroom replaced it, empty for a long, agonizing minute before anything popped up.
[ZEN]: Oh sorry; I was a bit hasty, wasn't I?;;;
I snatched up the phone and backed out of the chat, hurriedly fumbling with the screen until I found the missed calls.
I hit the call-back button.
It rang, and rang, and rang...
"... hello?"
I swallowed thickly, "H-hi..." His voice was low, manly in a way, but still somehow light with a flirtatious air. Like every sentence held a hidden question or a secret want.
"Ah, English to start with I see... well then..." Zen paused, "The course of true love never did run smooth."
The line had me laughing in spite of myself. It was delivered perfectly, smoothly, and with the perfect air only someone who'd played the role before could manage, "When did you play Lysander?"
"Ah, you know it!" He laughed. It was a bit higher than his normal voice. All easy and carefree; I could hear the smile on his face, "The company did a production of Midsummer's Night Dream about... oh, a year ago or so. I felt I should understand my passages in both the original English and the Korean translation to get a real feel for Lysander and his motivation, so took to practicing both."
"I bet that was hard," I smiled, shifting the phone to my shoulder so I could pause the music on my computer.
"Very," A hint of smug pride crept into his voice, "I needed many Korean to English dictionaries, then English to Shakespearean since, well... there's not really a Korean equivalent for thou. Not that I could find in the dictionary, at least."
I leaned back against my couch, head resting on the cushions as I stared up at the ceiling. Such devotion to a project was... humbling, "I want to speak Korean better. Some of it is... hard. Japanese was easier."
"That's the first time I've heard that!" Another chuckle, this one lower that the first, "Well then, in exchange for hearing you play, I humbly offer my services in the pursuit of increased linguistic ability!"
"... you sound like Luciel."
He gasped and my heart leaped. It was all an act, feigning hurt, and Zen followed with a hearty laugh, "God forbid."
We talked for hours. About this and that, our likes and our hobbies. His allergy to cats and my asthma ("I'll never smoke anywhere near you then! And I am trying to quit; been a month strong so far!"). How he liked more simple food and drink, like beer and kebabs, while I loved anything sweet or spicy (though not together, of course. Sweet and spicy just tasted... weird). I hadn't talked so much in months, and every Korean flub I made was greets with a gentle chuckle, a soft correction, and I swear he was winking at me on the other line. I don't know how I knew it, he just was. It was his voice.
He loved the stage, more than air, than breathing, more than life itself. In Zen's eyes, without music and dancing and the stage, there was nothing in life. I smiled at that, knowing exactly what that felt like, albeit a bit different in my case. I couldn't live without my music, my paintings, and dancing.
"Do you want to hear a bit of the lines I was practicing?" He asked, "It's from the Phantom of the Opera; the director's been wanting to do it for ages."
"Oh, let me guess... you play Raoul."
"How did you guess?" There was that smile-in-his-voice tone again.
"Well, you are very handsome... and I cannot see you playing the Phantom, so..."
"Ahh, so you think I'm handsome, jagiya?"
"I-" Heat rushed to my cheeks. He was laughing at me, laughing! "We-well, looks are not everything, you know now!"
"No... but they help," He said with a flirtatious edge, "Don't worry; I'll keep your secret. And yes, I'll be playing Raoul."
I glanced idly towards my computer and froze. It was 2am. We'd been talking for four hours, "Wow... please tell me you do not have rehearsal in the morning."
"Oh, I do."
I jumped up to shut my computer down. We both needed sleep, him for his acting and me... just to sleep. Sleeping was usually a better alternative than facing life awake. At least, when my nights were dreamless, which most of them happily were. And those that weren't... robbed me of good sleep for days after, "We need to go to bed!"
I heard a strange noise on the other end. A sort of choking sound, followed by Zen clearing his throat, "Oh, I guess we do."
"Well, um... goodnight Zen. Sorry I didn't play for you, though..." I looked outside at the subtle tinges of lighter blues on the horizon, "... probably wasn't the best plan anyway. I don't want to be hated by Rika's former neighbors."
"Ah, so you are in the same apartment as her's; Seven thought so," I froze, but he went on. Why did I seem to slip up so much around this man? "Don't worry, the only one's who know the address of Rika's apartment are Seven and V anyway."
"Oh, um... okay," I shifted the phone to my other shoulder and removed my coin skirt. I hadn't even had the chance to practice. Setting them on my nightstand, I pulled out a plain t-shirt and baggy pajama bottoms, "Really, we should sleep."
"We should," Zen said, but still neither of us hung up the phone.
I pulled back the covers and crawled into bed. Such an odd thing, so speak so much with someone I hardly knew. Especially given my... history. Maybe it was because he had no idea where I actually was, or what I even looked like, that calmed the anxiety. It wasn't that Zen was bad - I'd only seen evidence of good, if narcissistic, behavior - but that I knew there was no possible chance he could ever hurt me. I was safe.
"You didn't answer me; do you want to hear some lines?" He teased, chuckling as I settled down. I rolled my eyes, "A lullaby, perhaps?"
I didn't even try and stifle a yawn, giving my go ahead without thinking, "Sure, Hyun."
"Ahh, I haven't heard my birth name spoken in a long while."
"... are you gonna sing or keep talking?"
He laughed. I was about to give up and just end the call when his melodic voice floated through the speakers. It was low, not the back-seats reaching voice from the YouTube video, but still just... beautiful. Even the slight static and robotic nature of the phone couldn't put a damper to it.
"No more talk of darkness; forget these wide-eyed fears~" My eyes slide closed, my usual ignored exhaustion getting the better of me for once. Or it was his voice, I couldn't tell, "I'm here, nothing can harm you. My words will warm and calm you." The phone slipped off my shoulder a bit, and I lazily slapped it on speaker, not wanting to put in the effort to hold it up anymore, and placed it on my nightstand. I felt myself mouthing Christine's lines to this song, having watched the movie plenty of times with my gaggle of girls in high school. But I didn't sing; I couldn't.
I started only catching brief bits of his singing as I slowly slipped into unconsciousness, "Let me be your shelter... let me be your light. You're safe, no one will find you. Your fears are far behind you..."
I don't know if he said goodnight or not, because I was asleep before the end of the song. And I dreamed for once. A real dream, no nightmares involved. One of stages and costumes, of princes and beasts. By the time I woke up the next day, I was smiling.
Author's Note: I debated having this take place on the fourth day instead, but eh... I feel that most people sort of gloss over the whole Day 1-4 thing anyway... it's 5+ that we REALLY love, right~? xD Anyway, I have lots of ideas on how to sort of incorporate multiple playthroughs of backstory from different characters, so yeah... Also, I really like Phantom. So good.
