Disclaimer: I don't even own Aya's name. I named her after the protagonist of the Parasite Eve game xD;;


Chapter Five

Break-in

"Mental illness leaves a huge legacy, not just for the person suffering it but for those around them."

- Lysette Anthony


The ride to the cafe was uneventful. Mr. Kim was silent the whole time, and I couldn't blame him; poor guy got stuck in a limo all day. And got harassed by Jumin. Speaking of which.

[Aya]: Hello... omw home now.

[Yoosung]: Omg you WERE still at Zen's!

[Jumin Han]: It would have been highly inappropriate for you to stay longer, Aya. I'm glad someone has sense.

[Aya]: Actually, it was Zen who said I should leave *sweatdrop emoji*

[Yoosung]: Before he unleashed the beast on you?

[Aya]: *sweatdrop emoji*

[Yoosung]: *side-eye emoji*

[Jumin Han]: *sighing emoji* Yoosung, shouldn't you be in bed? It's late and you have class in the morning if I recall

[Yoosung]: Nooooo! *crying emoji* I can't no to bed yet; my guild is about to start this really big raid!

[Aya]: But Yoosung... aren't finals next week?

[Yoosung]: But Aya~!

I rolled my eyes.

[Aya]: What's your major? You can't pass your classes if you don't study.

[Yoosung]: *crying emoji*

[Jumin Han]: Come to think of it, what IS your major, Yoosung? I don't believe you've ever said.

[Yoosung]: *confused emoji* I haven't? Really?

[Aya]: Mine is a double major between fine art and music.

[Yoosung]: Wow~ What do you think mine is, Aya?

I paused. Yoosung never seemed to study, but every time he called it seemed he was in class or the library of SKY. He loved animals, which was why I suggested Jumin offer him the stray cat. He was also hit really hard by Rika's death, and I'd seen photos of a dog in her apartment...

[Aya]: Veterinary medicine. You love animals and you loved Rika, and she had pictures of this big dog in her apartment...

[Jumin Han]: I doubt it; Yoosung doesn't study well enough anymore, and any sort of medical career would take a lot of effort.

"That's... harsh," I murmured.

[Aya]: Don't say that, Jumin. I think Yoosung is plenty capable.

[Yoosung]: Yeah! I'll be the best vet ever, and I'll make Rika proud!

I blinked.

[Aya]: ... I was right?

Before I saw Yoosung's answer, the car door opened. We'd arrived at Jangmi's cafe; the streets were dark and quiet save for the occasional streetlight or pedestrian. I gulped; all my nervousness from before was replaced with anxiety. I left the chatroom, noting that it was nearly 11pm. Had I really stayed with Zen so long?

"Miss Aya?"

I blinked and shook my head, ignoring Mr. Kim's offered hand and exiting the car. He bowed once and excused himself. The limo pulled away, leaving me alone on the streets of Seoul at night. I reminded myself to breathe, squared my shoulders, and started off down the street.

And jumped about a million feet when my phone went off.

"H-hello?!" I sputtered, nearly dropping my phone in my haste.

It was Jaehee, "Hello, I was just calling to make sure you got home safe."

"I-I just got dropped off, s-s-so I'm walking home from the cafe Mr. Kim picked me up from," I held the phone tight, eyes darting all over as I sped up down the street. The interruption had rattled whatever nerves I had.

"Are you alright, Aya? You sound... stressed."

"C-coming from the one Jumin works to the bone," I muttered, "I don't know how you stand it. H-he's nice enough, but... but-" Something moved out of the corner of my eye and I squealed.

It was just a cat. A stray tabby cat.

"Aya? Aya!"

"What?" I clutched at my chest, taking a few deep breaths before laughing nervously, "S-sorry Jaehee. I um..."

"If you don't tell me what happened, I'm calling Luciel, demanding Rika's address, and sending Mr. Han's bodyguards to pick you up," Her tone was grave and serious, and I didn't doubt her for a second.

"N-no, it's fine! I just..." I sighed, seeing no way out of this, "... I don't like being outside at night. I don't like the dark at all, really."

"... I see," Jaehee paused, and for a second I thought she was going to hang up, "I'll stay on the line with you until you get home."

"Y-you don't have to, Jaehee," I laughed nervously again, "Don't you need to sleep? Do you ever sleep?"

"Not as often as I should," Jaehee laughed herself, a much happier sound than mine. Like she was trying to cheer me up, "I'm at home, working. Mr. Han is pushing for this cat project to be researched, so I spent all day on that, but what I really wanted to do was the coffee one."

"He's got you on both projects at once?" My mouth gaped open, "Please tell me you're not doing regular assistant duties too, Jaehee."

"Of course I am," I could picture her eye-roll, "I keep Mr. Han on schedule, I train and supervise the other assistants, note-take for meetings, occasionally pick up Mr. Han's dry cleaning and watch Elizabeth the 3rd (without much warning, usually). Among other things."

I wasn't holding the phone so tightly now. The talking was helping; it was almost like I had someone here with me, "Sounds like Jumin would fall apart without you there."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"I would," I was nearing the apartment now, "Seriously. I'm sure if you asked, the other RFA members would set Jumin straight. Sure, he pays well, but all this work isn't healthy for you, Jaehee. And if you need help with both projects, why not ask Luciel for help with the cat one? He um... loves cats and all."

"Are you... worried about me?" She sounded almost... surprised. My eyebrow twitched.

"Of course I am!" I pushed inside the apartment complex and pushed the button for the elevator, "I-I mean, I might have only known you all a week, but still. His treatment of you borders on inhumane!"

"Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine. Really."

I wasn't convinced, but dropped it. We talked about my visit with Zen - she chastised me for freaking out and falling, but was relieved neither of us got hurt - and her coffee research as I took the elevator. Her voice grew animated, "I've started to practice latte art at home on the rare times I'm not working."

"You should visit the cafe I was picked up at, then," I laughed, stepping out of the elevator, "This old lady, Jangmi, runs it. She's really good at latte art, and her croissants are amazing. After we meet at the party, we should go some... time..."

My front door was ajar.

"Aya?"

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move.

"Aya!"

I always locked my door. Like the other apartments, it needed a pin code to open. Jaehee was shouting my name in my ear, but it took a full minute for me to actually hear it. When I did speak, my voice was a whisper, "... my door is open."

"Open? Open how?"

"I-it's open," I swallowed and took a step towards the door. The hall was dead silent. I didn't hear anything, but still... someone could be waiting for me inside, "The fr-front door is open. I closed it. It locks automatically, like Rika's."

"So it's your door, not Rika's?"

I nodded numbly, though she obviously couldn't see, "... yeah."

Her voice was all serious now, all business, "Go to Rika's apartment. Luciel said he installed all kinds of security, right? Cameras and the like too?"

I knew she was right, that it was the smart thing to do, but still. I didn't say anything as I edged closer to the door. My heart pounded in my ears. It wasn't him, that was impossible. But one of his friend's, family, one of his father's henchmen...

Through the slit in the door, I didn't see anyone. The lights were on, more than the one or two lamps I left on to deter burglars. So someone had been there... or still was.

"Aya? Are you at Rika's?"

I ignored her, taking another step towards the door. Still, there was nothing. Not even the sound of my breathing, since I hadn't for a good half minute. Then I rushed, throwing open the door so it banged against the hallway wall.

The apartment was empty. Lit, but empty. Jaehee was still calling for me, but I didn't answer her. I couldn't not yet. I stepped into the room, shaking like a leaf and eyes sweeping over every entry, every crevice, every little piece of-

The window was blown open. Glass littered the floor around it. My breath shuttered out, and I stepped back. I reached into my purse for the folding knife I kept on me at all times. Still, no sound. No movement. I peeked into the bathroom, into the bedroom, throwing open the closet doors, all of it. My apartment was empty.

"Aya if you do not answer I am calling Luciel and demanding the apartment address, and if he doesn't give it to me, I am calling the police."

It was safe to answer now, "Someone was here. Someone broke into my apartment."

"Oh my God... Get to Rika's. Now."

"Okay," I ran from my bedroom, but froze halfway to the door. I hadn't seen it going in, but taped to the wall right next to the door was a flyer. The same one Unknown had given me. The one with the sinister eye.

Meet the people who will love you forever.

Attend the endless party

Don't you want to escape from this filthy world?

This is an invitation to paradise.

Are you suffering from your past?

We will help the pain go away.

A world filled with pleasure...

A world filled with truth...

A world with no tears...

A world with no rejections...

Accept the angel's invitation.

Magenta,

Where everyone is happy...

Scrawled underneath it was elegant, cursive script.

'I apologize for missing you, Princess. Please be patient a little longer.'


- ZEN entered the chatroom -

[ZEN]: She's not staying there anymore.

[707]: Oh, hello Zen!

[ZEN]: What's the apartment address? I'll go get her myself.

[707]: She's in Rika's apartment now. She's safe, right Aya? *smiling emoji*

I didn't answer. Sure, I had the chatroom on, but I couldn't bring myself to type anything. So I just watched, reading in silence.

[ZEN]: Someone BROKE INTO HER APARTMENT, Seven! Sure, it wasn't Rika's, but how the hell are you gonna protect her if whoever it is comes back, and goes through RIKA'S WINDOW?!

[707]: I'm watching her on the CCTV cameras now, Zen.

[ZEN]: What the hell're you gonna do through CAMERAS?!

- Jaehee Kang entered the chatroom -

[Jaehee Kang]: Zen, please calm down. I am sure Seven is doing the best he can.

[ZEN]: You can't protect someone from behind a camera!

[Jaehee Kang]: ... there is truth to that. Luciel, would it be better for Aya to leave the apartment for now? I'm sure if I asked Mr. Han, she could stay at the penthouse, or maybe with yourself and your security system. That note she got-

[ZEN]: She could stay with me.

[707]: Does ur apartment door only answer to Arabic?

[ZEN]: ... no.

[707]: Does the door explode on the wrong answer?

[ZEN]: EXPLODE?!

[Jaehee Kang]: I just remembered why I came in. Mr. Han should be here in a moment too, but Luciel, I received an odd email just now. It looks similar to the note Aya described to me.

She posted a screengrab in the chat. That sinister eye stared up at me, and the text was identical, though a lot of it was cut off. I shivered, scooting back further into Rika's sheets. I'd barricaded myself in the bedroom after barricading the front door. I still didn't feel safe. Not even a bit.

[707]: I'll look into it.

[ZEN]: Goddammit... first Echo Girl, then this. Today was going so well...

[Jaehee Kang]: *confused emoji* Echo girl?

[ZEN]: She just showed up at my apartment, just after Aya left. It was... odd. I think she was trying to... *frustrated emoji* ... get in my pants or something. Was pretty upset when I told her off and told her to go home. Looks like I won't be able to do that role for real now...

[707]: Uwahhh?! *shocked emoji* She did WHAT?!

- Yoosung and Jumin Han entered the chatroom -

[Yoosung]: Zen texted me. Is everything shglwekt

[707]: lolol

[Yoosung]: Echo Girl harassed you, Zen?!

My eyebrow twitched. He'd looked so happy, though apprehensive, about taking her help. To have such sickening ulterior motives... my blood boiled.

[Aya]: Are you okay, Zen?

[707]: Ah! She speaks!

[Jumin Han]: Stop playing around, Luciel.

[707]: Ah! HE speaks!

[ZEN]: I'm fine, jagiya. I'm just... god, I'm so worried about you.

My shoulders sank, and I smiled sadly.

[Aya]: Thank you, for worrying.

[ZEN]: Are you... okay?

[Aya]: I'm alive.

[ZEN]: That's not what I asked.

I didn't reply back. I knew he could tell, even from across the city, how I was feeling. He'd seen a small taste of my anxiety earlier. I never wanted him to see the rest. The screaming, the thrashing like a wild animal... the dead-eyed stare when I'd just given up. Zen could never see that. The conversation quickly turned to other topics, with Jumin promising to send everyone but me security guards. The 'but me' being because the only one who knew the address of the apartment was Luciel, and he wouldn't do a thing without the okay from V.

It was frustrating. Luciel knew, in some ways better than Zen, my anxiety. He and ostensibly V were the only ones who knew about Unknown meeting me before, when he covered the cameras. Yet he was so adamant about waiting for word from V. And V, now of all times, wasn't answering his phone. Yoosung was first to unleash his frustration at V in the chat, followed by - surprisingly - Zen. He just got... so worked up in the chat that he left abruptly, after telling off Luciel and Jumin.

Less than ten seconds later, my phone went off, "Hello?"

"Jagiya," He sounded breathless, like he'd been running, and oh so worried, "Tell me where you are, and I'll come get you. Classified documents and information be damned."

"Hyun..." I bit my lip hard. I wanted to. Every fiber of my being wanted to, "I'm at-"

My phone buzzed and I pulled it from my ear enough to see a text from Luciel. He was begging me not to tell Zen the location of the apartment until he heard from V. That he would explain later, but it would be dangerous for RFA members to be there. Dangerous? For Zen? For the others?

A small part of me regretted ever getting involved in the RFA.

"Aya?"

"I... I can't tell you," My knuckles turned white as I clenched the phone, "I... It's supposed to stay a secret."

"Aya, please..." I wanted to cry at his tone. His voice was so thick with worry, "The thought of you getting hurt..."

"I-I've been hurt before," I hit the speaker button on my phone and set it against Rika's pillow, leaning down in the blankets and fingering along one of the scars on my arm. After a minute of silence, I shored up my resolve and said, "There's nothing Unknown can do to me that hasn't been done before."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" A low growl laced his words, but I knew the anger wasn't for me.

"No, but..." My eyes watered, and I twisted in the bed to stare at his profile picture on the phone. His worry was making me worry and when I worried, I remembered. The ropes, the chains, the pain.

When Zen spoke, his words were soft. Good gods, how did he know? "Jagiya... if you won't tell me, can I at least sing you to sleep? You're thoughts will be filled with me, and then when you dream, and I dream, we can see each other."

I laughed, an anxious tear slipping down my cheek, "You believe that?"

"Of course!" Zen laughed, and I was grateful. He was struggling to hide his own worry to keep me from wallowing in mine, "We can go on another date in our dreams, hmm?"

A smile crossed my tired face, and I snuggled a bit deeper into the pillow. It was like his voice was a balm, soothing away some of my anxiety, "That sounds nice."

There was shuffling on the other side, like fabric sliding against itself. Was he in bed too? "Well then, jagiya; what shall I sing?"

"More Phantom?" I wound the blankets around myself like a cocoon, "We both know that one."

"Hmm... nah, how about something a bit more fun?" Zen chuckled, the sound going straight to my stomach. I blushed, "Do you know Moulin Rouge?"

"Do I-?!" I laughed out loud, suddenly catching myself. The room was lit, but I still couldn't bring myself to be too loud. I half-whispered my next words, "My friends and I watched it religiously in high school."

"Love is a many splendored thing," His voice, half-singing half-spoken, filtered through the phone. I blinked. He couldn't be... this one? He knew the english lyrics? But it was a duet. How was he going to... did he want me to...? "Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love."

My lips fell open, the next words stuck in my throat. Should I? Sing again? He wasn't demanding - he hadn't even asked, really - and I knew that if I just said no, he would sing something else, but...

"It's alright, jagi-"

"Please don't start that again," My voice trembled a bit, even though the line wasn't even sung.

He chuckled, then sang at full volume, "All you need is love!"

That line was made for this man, I swear, "A girl has got to eat!"

"All you need is love!"

"She'll end up on the street!"

"All you need is love!"

I paused, swallowing noisily. The next line was the first one the female singer would sing. My exhale was noisy, shuttering, and Zen started to apologize. But before he even finished the first words, I sang, "Love is just a game."

Zen laughed, loud and boisterous. I couldn't help but chuckle as his singing voice, so beautiful, took the most playful edge, "I was made for loving you baby; you were made for loving me~!"

Again, another line made for Zen. I sat up in the bed to sing better, breathless at first but gaining strength with each successive note. Still nowhere near what I used to, but still... "The only way of loving me baby is to pay a lovely fee."

"Just one night~ Give me just one night~!"

I laughed, I couldn't help it. He was putting his all into it, even though it was through the phone. So I added my own sass to the line, feeling even more of my anxiety melt away, "There's no way, 'cause you can't pay~."

"In the name of love! One night, in the name of love~!"

This was ridiculous. Neither of us had backing music obviously, and his lovely, gorgeous, breathtaking voice was a bit muffled and off over the cellphone call. But that didn't stop the giddy feeling in my stomach, "You crazy fool. I won't give in to you."

"Don't. Leave me this way. I can't survive, without your sweet love," My breath hitched. I didn't know if it was his acting skills or his singing, but a shiver ran down my spine, "Oh baby... don't leave me this way."

My shoulders sank a bit, emotion welling within me. But for once, oh for once... it wasn't unwelcome emotion, "You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs."

"I look around me and I see it isn't so," Zen chuckled again, his singing warming me through, "Oh no."

"Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs," I twirled off the bed, giggling under my breath.

Then came his next line. The words were breathless, more pleading than singing, and I froze, "Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know."

My breath shuttered, "Hyun..."

"Ahh, too much nae sarang?" His voice was light, but somehow thick at the same time.

I flopped back onto the bed, sinking into the comforters and sheets. Conflicted emotions assaulted me. Part of me wanted to keep singing. Part of me was struck by the emotion behind his singing. And yet another piece of myself, as usual, was scared to keep going. But I couldn't deny it. I felt lighter, freer, in a way that nothing back home could do.

Was this... healing?

"Thank you, Hyun," I stood to dim the lights then snuggled back into bed, "I don't know why, but talking to you... it helps."

"I'm glad," He sighed, "I still don't like you staying there, though."

"I know..." I pulled the blankets around my shoulders, cradling the phone in one hand, "Thank you for worrying. And cheering me up... and gods... everything."

"You keep thanking me, but I really feel like I should thank you," Zen's voice dropped low, almost seductive with a slight chuckle, "Cheering me up when I've got this useless leg - even though I swear I'm getting the damn cast taken off tomorrow - being just so damn cute and understanding..."

I cut him off with a yawn before he could do into some sort of praise-spree, "Hyun, it's late. All this praise is going to go to my head and I won't be able to sleep."

"Ahh, can't have that can we? We won't meet in our dreams then," Zen chuckled, "You deserve every ounce of praise in the world, jagiya, but oh well. There will be much more time for that later. Go, sleep now. Dream sweet dreams, hmm? If you do, I'll meet you there."

"Goodnight, Hyun."

"Goodnight, nae sarang."

With the light from the phone now off, only the warm glow of the dim bedside lamp illuminated the room. My smile slowly faded. Without his soft voice, some of my anxiety returned. I swallowed and closed my eyes, trying not to think of the day and just focus on that phone call with Zen. Focus on the singing, not the hole in my apartment window. Luciel was watching over me. I was safe here. Right?


"In the case of The People vs. Michael Stevens, how does the defendant plead?"

"Not guilty."

I cried. Lights and shadows of the courtroom shifted and morphed like sinister ghosts around me. Exhibits, examinations, cross-examinations, evidence... photographs. Expert witnesses, eyewitnesses... reporters. Throughout all those moments, I cried. Reliving those events, reliving him over and over and over... then...

"In the cast of The People vs. Michael Stevens, we the jury find the defendant guilty on all charges."

Relief.

I gasped, flying up in bed and flinging the blankets aside. Sweat drenched me, heart beating a wild and painful staccato rhythm in my chest. I clenched at my nightshirt, the damp fabric abrasive against my palm. Abrasive. Real.

A strange, strangling sort of noise ripped from my throat. I doubled over myself, eyes squeezed shut.

"It's okay. It's okay," I repeated the phrase like a mantra. The nightmare wouldn't get to me. I wouldn't let it, "It's okay. It's okay." He was in prison. I was in another country. He couldn't hurt me anymore, "It's okay. It's okay."

Many minutes later, the feeling ebbed away. I took in a deep, cleansing breath, and finally looked over to check the time. Just passed 8am. I fell back into unfamiliar blankets, sinking in and willing my beating heart still. With a glance and a flick of the wrist, I saw Jaehee in the chatroom, and smiled.

[Aya]: Good morning, Jaehee.

[Jaehee Kang]: Good morning, Aya. Sleep well? Have breakfast?

I wasn't about to tell her the truth. And there, like clockwork, was the question about meals.

[Aya]: Yes, but no breakfast yet. Jumin still working you to the bone?

[Jaehee Kang]: Yes, but... I took your suggestion.

[Aya]: Suggestion?

[Jaehee Kang]: Remember? Asking Luciel...?

[Aya]: Oooooh... *smiling emoji*

I made a mental note to call Jaehee later and get the details. This wasn't something Jumin really needed to know about, so talking about it in the chat was just tempting fate.

[Jaehee Kang]: Ah, sorry I'm due for a meeting. Mr. Han has a lunch meeting with his father, so I'm filling in for a couple hours.

[Aya]: You can do that? Just... fill in for him?

[Jaehee Kang]: There is rumors surrounding Chairman Han, Mr. Han's father, and a new woman he is dating. So filling in for Mr. Han for a bit is a welcome break compared to dealing with that... what is the English phrase? Worm of cans?

[Aya]: Can of worms.

[Jaehee Kang]: Ah, sorry; English wasn't my best subject in school.

[Aya]: Get Luciel to install his translator program.

[Jaehee Kang]: *shocked emoji* Translator program?

- ZEN entered the chatroom -

[ZEN]: Jagiya! Did you sleep well?

His mere presence in the chat room was enough to bleed out the rest of the anxiety from my dream. I worried my lip, feeling almost... playful. Which was... odd. Not like me. But not entirely unpleasant.

[Aya]: Very well and with thoughts of you... nae sarang.

[ZEN]: ...

[Jaehee Kang]: *shocked emoji*

[ZEN]: Aya... careful. You're tempting the beast there... *winking emoji* *heart emoji*

Uh-oh. Maybe I shouldn't have used words I don't know the meaning of to tease Zen. I voiced such, and Zen started laughing in the chat. Over and over, filling up the screen.

[Jaehee Kang]: *sighing emoji* Aya... nae sarang means "my love".

My eyes widened.

[Aya]: o-oh...

Then...

[Aya]: HYUN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! *blushing emoji*

[ZEN]: *heart and wink emoji*

[Aya]: Omg...

[ZEN]: *heart and wink emoji*

[Jaehee Kang]: Ahem... Zen, I would be careful. If your fans found out about your feelings for Aya, it would cause a scandal.

My heart stopped for a frightening second, "... Feelings?"

[ZEN]: I can't help it, Jaehee. She's just so cute when flustered. I'm picturing her blushing face right now~ So cute~

[Aya]: It's to early for this.

[ZEN]: Ah, jagiya before I forget; I just got off the phone with Director Eunha. She was ecstatic when I said I would do the Phantom musical instead. Apparently she's still having trouble casting Christine. You know... *winking emoji*

[Aya]: No.

[ZEN]: Jagiya you would do so well though!

[Aya]: NO.

[ZEN]: nae sarang~!

[Jaehee Kang]: *sighing emoji*

[Aya]: I AM NOT AUDITIONING FOR CHRISTINE, HYUN. *angry emoji*

We went back and forth for a while like that. Poor Jaehee practically ran out of chat, something about a meeting with Jumin's father. Zen and I went back and forth, him teasing and me getting more and more exasperated by the moment. Like a heaven-sent angel, a call from Director Eunha drew him out of the chat and gave me a moment to collect myself. I hadn't thought of the break-in the whole time.

V popped in, just a for a minute, apologizing profusely for the window. He promised to send someone the next day to fix it, and soon Luciel entered to state he was going over all the security footage and algorithms to beef up the security. I offered my computer-savvy friend Kyoko to help, but Luciel shot that down.

[707]: Another hacker wouldn't really help here. Maybe later down the line, to help run stress tests on the security system, but not until after I've beefed it up.

Strangely matter-of-fact for Luciel, I thought. The break-in must have spooked even his usually flippant nature. Then, V dropped the bombshell. He was pushing the party back a couple days, until the apartment was a hundred percent secured. That put it as the day before I went back to college. I was grateful. I could feel some of my anxiety lessen, knowing that I would have an extra few days to help out. I didn't think I could leave Rika's bedroom just yet, much less do anything else for the party outside of what I could do from my phone. But then, just after Luciel left but before V could follow, Yoosung popped into the chatroom.

[Yoosung]: V, you're here.

I tuned out the chat for a bit to answer some emails. When I looked back, I couldn't help but sigh. It was obvious Yoosung harbored animosity towards V, but now - not even five minutes into the chat - he was actively trying to antagonize the RFA leader. About Rika, what she was like, about her suicide, how they really only had V's word to go on about her death. I would be lying if I said that didn't sound suspicious; V was the last person to see Rika alive, who threw herself off a cliff two years ago, and no body was ever found. Granted, according to Jumin, he had been cleared by the police...

[Yoosung]: Rika wouldn't have killed herself! She wasn't sick or anything, V!

[V]: She was. Rika was mentally ill.

Of course Rika was, she killed herself. Healthy, mentally intact people don't generally go jumping off cliffs. But I didn't type a response, and merely watched.

[Yoosung]: ... What?

[V]: God. I'm sorry. I. I have to go.

- V left the chatroom -

Yoosung didn't type anything in chat for a long while, though I could see he was still there. It must have been a bombshell to him. The man was so sweet, so innocent seeming in the chat. He didn't know the horrors of mental illness, and the things it can make people do. He didn't know what it was like to live with depression or PTSD, how hard it was. And I sincerely hoped he never found out.

[Aya]: Yoosung?

[Yoosung]: Rika wasn't sick... she wasn't!

[Aya]: Sometimes even the people closest to someone with a mental illness don't see it. The person with the illness can fight to hide it. I'm sorry, Yoosung. I know from experience that it's hard to deal with.

For a long moment, he typed nothing. Then, just before I went back to my emails, my phone went off.

[Yoosung]: ... did someone close to you kill themselves too, Aya?

I loosed a shuttering sigh, almost smiling. Such a naive boy, even though we were about the same age.

[Aya]: It's a long story, but you could say that I guess. *smiling emoji* Go drink some hot tea and rest. That's what helps me. Or... *laughing emoji* Play some LOLOL. Just not too much. You're on term break, right?

[Yoosung]: Yeah... for like a week. Term starts right after the party, since V pushed it back.

[Aya]: Oh I know. *smiling emoji* We'll be fellow students then.

[Yoosung]: Fellow... *shocked emoji* YOU'RE GOING TO SKY?!

I laughed, the sudden shift in the feeling of the chatroom nearly tangible.

[Aya]: Yes, Yoosung.

[Yoosung]: Wow~! We can study together! I mean, you're the artsy type right Aya? So we won't have a lot of classes in common... but we can still help each other!

We chatted off and on about classes for a bit, before Yoosung left to get tea and play LOLOL. I finished off my emails and retreated back to Rika's bedroom. But sleep didn't come easily. Something odd settled in the pit of my stomach. A mix of feelings; the usual ever-present anxiety was joined by a strange apprehension. I couldn't go back to my apartment yet, because of the break-in, and Rika's apartment was safer... but after that chatroom, I couldn't stop thinking about the dead woman who once lived here.

I rolled on my back underneath the bed covers, staring at the dark ceiling. How sick was she? I didn't have the chance to hide my illness at first, but the more you smile and placate the people around you, the more you get away with down the line. Like the people around me wanted to believe I was okay, so overlooked the little things. How I would freak out if someone touched me, my little slip ups in speech, my fear of the dark and being bound, covering up my scars...

I wondered if Rika was like me, the one now taking her place in the RFA.

What was her life like? How did her mental illness manifest? No one seemed to suspect a thing, given Yoosung's reaction, but then again the people closest usually overlook the most. My friends and family did; why not Rika's?

As my thoughts spiraled, darker and darker with the walls of the room closing around me, my phone went off. I turned my head and caught the edge of Zen's face on my phone. I just... stared at it, the light illuminating in the darkness, until that light was snuffed out once again the room was plunged into darkness. I felt numb as I rolled back over, back to the phone. I remembered how no one back home noticed anything was wrong until it was too late. I curled my fists in the sheets, tight-chested, and squeezed my eyes shut. The anxiety grew, bubbling like an active volcano just beneath the surface. I remembered what one of my therapists back home taught me.

"Fig, apple, cherry, asian pear, lilac, plum," I said each word slowly, drawing in deep breaths and picturing each of the trees and vines of my childhood home in as much vivid detail as possible, "Raspberry, marionberry, rubarb, grape..."

I kept going, listing off all the plants I could remember, picturing running around with Kyoko and Derek picking apples in the back yard. Their smiles, my smiles, our laughter... bringing the apples in for mom to teach us how to make pies and use the dehydrator. Mom was a great baker, even though dad was the real cook in the family. I smiled at the memory of dad in a nerdy cook apron, the three of us running around making a mess of the flour.

"You'll never go anywhere ever again. I love you."

His teeth were at my ear, fingers at my spine, hot breath freezing me as my scars burned.

I curled up and whimpered once, choking out, "Fig, apple, cherry, asian pear, lilac, plum-"

My phone went off again. I ignored it, "-Raspberry, marionberry, rubarb, grape."

Slowly, the feel of him faded. Happy memories of back home replaced it. Of pies and laughter and running around. Of my life before meeting Michael Stevens. When I felt the anxiety finally subside, I rolled back around. My phone was blinking from the missed calls, so I reached over and checked it. Three, all from Zen. I bit my lip and set it back so the phone faced down. I couldn't. I wanted to talk to someone, to spill everything, to be held and comforted... but I couldn't.


Author's Note: I am sore and tired from work. Bed time for me. But good news~! I finally got through all the main storylines in the game, so I'm gonna go through the DLCs before I play through the bed endings and save up hourglasses for the secret endings. I mean, like, most of it was spoiled for me ages ago but whatever! xD;;; Also, slight Jessica Jones reference there (plants instead of street names). Looooove that show! Also, soon... soon... the fun begins :D