Disclaimer: Zen is a plaster bust with a wig. Totally.
Chapter Six
The Cage
"You cannot free someone who is caged in their own self."
- Anjum Choudhary, Souled Out
I spent most of the next day answering emails and practicing my violin. I was... numb. The only way to describe it was numb. Like every day after a panic attack, even a little one like the night before, I needed time to cool off. But I also wanted someone to hold me. But I couldn't have anyone hold me. I wanted to be touched, to be held and understood, but at the same time I didn't want that.
Contradictions, see? Therefore, numb.
So I played and I painted, I danced and I worked. It helped. I forced myself to think it was helping. It had too.
By midday, I had three more missed calls from Zen, one from Jaehee, and some bland replies on my part the one time I checked in the messenger. I set my violin down and downed a glass of water before settling in for more emails. I had to keep busy. If I stopped moving for more than a second, my mind would wander. I couldn't have that.
My phone went off. I nearly ignored it again, but it... wasn't my ringtone. It was the most god-awful dying-cat meow. Not the cute kind... the nails on chalkboard kind. It was Luciel, and it just. Didn't. Stop. The call never ended, never went to voicemail. My eyebrow twitched. Didn't he realize that I wanted to be left alone?
Finally I couldn't take it anymore and accepted the call with a short, curt tone, "Luciel, I'm busy."
"I can see that, my foreign enigma!" He laughed that weird, nasally way of his, "You're in Rika's apartment, so I'm obviously watching over you~!"
My eyes drifted up to one of the many cameras taking in all angles of the apartment. My eyebrow twitched again, and I covered my eyes with a hand, "Luciel, please. I... really can't people right now."
"I know. I saw last night on the camera."
I nearly dropped the phone, "Y-you saw that?"
He hummed, "Yup. Reeeally hoped you would've picked up one of Zen's calls. Almost called myself, but then you went and fell asleep." I didn't say anything, so he went on, "Zen's been freaking out in the chat all day."
Freaking out? All I'd seen was a dozen different messages of him being worried, and something about a dream he had. About me in a gilded cage. How he was worried, and had a bad feeling. Even a mini-argument with Luciel where he demanded the apartment address. I wasn't about to touch any of that with a ten foot pole.
"You should call him, Aya~!"
My eyes shifted to the camera, "Not right now, Luciel."
"Come on. I bet you'll feel better."
"I bet I won't."
"How about you call and chat with Zen for a bit, who is so down and depressed with his injury and without his jagiya in the chat~!"
I groaned. When Luciel said Zen's little nickname for me, it just... didn't sound right. Like the persistent joking tone in his voice was tainting it. I bit my lip, eye flickering between the camera and my computer. I didn't want to call Zen. But I wanted to call Zen. After last night, I'd had six missed calls from him. The voicemail Jaehee left even asked me to call Zen, because she didn't like him so stressed when injured. 'So stressed'... I hadn't listened to Zen's voicemails left. Maybe I should.
"He will sooth your heart and you'll sooth his! The Juliet to his Romeo, but with hopefully better life choices and less poison-"
I hung up on Luciel and my finger hovered over Zen's voicemails. Biting my lip, I clicked on the first;
"Aya, Aya are you alright? Please call me asap; I had a dream that you were crying in a cage, and after the break-in... god, Aya, please be okay," His tone... good god, his tone. High, fast, frightened. I clicked the next one.
"Jagiya, call me. Please. I'm worried; I don't want anything to happen to you. I know it was just a dream, but it felt so real and sometimes I have these prophetic dreams. They always come true right after, and I can't! I won't see you in a cage! Please, call me," I sobbed, hand flying to my mouth as guilt gnawed my insides. That tone was getting worse. I clicked the next one.
"Are you there? I called Seven and he said you were still in bed in the apartment. He sounded a bit stressed though... are you okay? Please call me when you get this, jagiya," Less panicked, but somehow even worse.
The fourth didn't have a voicemail, but the fifth did, "Jagiya... Aya... did you sleep well? Seven said you did. But that dream... I can't help it. I'm worried. Call me." He was calmer. I almost smiled, watery as my expression was, and sighed heavily. I clicked the last.
"You were in chat a bit today, jagiya. I hope you're alright. Maybe I'm just overreacting... but I'm serious, I have these dreams sometimes and they come true. They do! And I... I never want to see you in a cage, Aya. You deserve happiness and freedom. God... please call me, I want to hear your voice."
So I called him. I gripped the phone in white knuckled hands and called Zen.
The phone rang. And rang. And rang... then went to voicemail. I hung up without leaving a message, and stared at my phone for a long second before moving to set it back down... and it went off.
"H-hello?" I bit my lip.
"Aya! Oh, jagiya it's you!" Zen's tone was so relieved, so high-strung with worry and happiness, that I couldn't help a little smile, "I can't tell you how good it feels to hear your voice again, jagiya. I was so worried, after that dream... I don't want anything to ever happen to you, nae sarang. Did you eat dinner yet? Are you tired? Did anything happen last night? Seven said the workers were coming to fix your window and-"
I giggled, immediately feeling so much lighter. Why had I put off calling him for so long? It was as if his voice was a healing balm, "I'm fine, Hyun. Really. Good night sleep, just had a snack, working on the RFA emails." I stopped myself. He didn't need to know how dark my thoughts got last night. Why I didn't answer his calls. But my curiosity got the better of me on one thing, "What happened in your dream? You mentioned a... a cage." I shuddered. Cages were something I knew well.
"I dreamt someone kidnapped you from the apartment. Rika's apartment, not yours. They..." His words stopped my breathing, "They had this whitish hair with pink tips, and weird-"
"Cyan eyes," My voice took a high keening quality, "With... oh god oh god... A tattoo on his right arm?"
"A big one, yeah, of this creepy eye. Why?" Zen paused for a second. I'd lost my voice, panic threading like poison through my veins, "... Aya?"
"Oh god oh god oh god," I slid to the floor and sobbed once. It was only a dream. But Zen said his dreams were like prophecies sometimes, and he'd never seen Unknown before. No one else had, save Seven's grainy security camera footage.
"Hyun, come get me please. Please, please Hyun," My eyes darted around the apartment. With all it's security features and hacker protection, how safe was it? The walls closed in around me, reminding me of the truth. Security is all well and good, but nothing to someone beside you. Alone is dangerous. Alone leads to capture.
Something moved. I gasped and scrambled back, smacking into Rika's desk and knocking something off with a resounding clatter. I looked again; nothing was there.
"Aya? Aya!"
"I... I need someone here," My vision blurred, and I furiously wiped the tears away as my panic caused sharp pain in my chest. Not now, not now. I need to think. Not flashback. Don't flashback.
Then, as clear as day, I heard his voicr against my ear, so real I felt his breath tickling the hairs, "Didn't I tell you, Aya? Together forever."
I screamed. Long and loud, launching myself across the room with wild eyes and clawing fingers. The door was locked electronically. Security. Rika. RFA. Zen.
I swerved back around. His ghost was gone. My phone was cracked and dark on the other side of the room. I'd thrown it? When?
Slowly, I inched back to the device. My heart still beat painfully, my vision narrowed to the fine point of the broken phone. The impact had ended the call, but I breathed a sigh of relief when it turned back on. Just the screen was cracked.
That hope burned when I opened Mystic Messenger. All that greeted me was that all-seeing, sinister eye.
"No. No no no no," I clutched the device so tight it hurt. Nothing worked. Not turning it off and on, not pushing the buttons, nothing.
Would he come? Would Zen come res-
No.
My chest was tight, like a rubber band stretched to snapping. But as I stared at , a strange numbness started to replace it. I couldn't wait to be saved. Like before, I had to save myself. I couldn't reply in anyone else.
"Get up, Aya," I hissed through clenched teeth, "Get up."
And I did. On shaky legs, I stood, phone still in hand. The front door was still locked tight, through Unknown's doing or Luciel's I didn't know. I was in the fifteenth floor, so the windows should be safe unless someone was crazy enough to, I don't know, repel down the building?
I looked at my phone. It changed. Mystic Messenger was open. My fingers flew over the type face, but I couldn't send anything. I could only read, like I wasn't even in the chatroom at all.
[ZEN]: I think she threw her phone at the wall. I tried calling her back, but...
[707]: She looks fine on the monitors. Well, on the verge of a mental breakdown, but fine. Jeez, did you have to scare her with your dream so much?
[ZEN]: It wasn't just a dream, Seven! I need to go to her!
[707]: I'm watching her, it's fine. The apartment has a tooooooon of security. Like, a lot a lot. Lots. Looooads. Did it all myself! *Smiling emoji*
[ZEN]: I don't care about your goddamn security! She was. God. She was crying, Seven!
- Yoosung entered the chatroom -
[Yoosung]: Whoa. Aya's in trouble?
[707]: Nah, she cool.
[ZEN]: I don't have time for this.
- ZEN left the chatroom -
[Yoosung]: I think you made him mad, Seven.
[707]: There's nothing to worry about! Agent 7-0-7 is keeping our little foreign enigma all warm and cozy and safe! See, she's totally smiling!
He posted a screen grab of whatever security monitors he had in Rika's apartment. It was a bit grainy and in black and white.
[Yoosung]: ... Her back's to the camera.
[707]: details, details. Betchu she's smiling.
I was not smiling.
[707]: Gotta get back to work! Ms. Vanderwood's back with a whip and a mop!
[Yoosung]: ... A whip?
[707]: You've got to whip it. Into shape. It's not too late. To whip it. WHIP IT GOOD!
- 707 left the chatroom -
[Yoosung]: Omg.
Would that man ever take anything seriously? But his oddness distracted me. The tenseness loosened in my chest. Maybe it would be fine. Maybe I was just panicking for no reason. Luciel was a cyber security specialist. He knew what we was doing. I wouldn't be surprised if he had hidden lasers or other security measures or something hidden in the apartment to get rid of intruders. Probably something cat-shaped.
I slumped on the couch. Stay calm, Aya. Stay calm. I can do this. I can ignore the shifting shadows of the corners of the room.
The tightness returned. I still couldn't type in the Messenger. I couldn't even close it out. What do I do? How do I tell Luciel I was locked in? Did he lock me in? But he wouldn't have disabled my phone like this. He wouldn't have used that Eye.
My eyes fell on a stack of paper on Rika's desk. I snatched one up and scrawled a note, big and bold with a black sharpie inside the desk, and held it up to the nearest camera in one hand. I kept my phone in the other, to watch the chat.
- 707 entered the chatroom -
[707]: What do you mean, you can't use your phone? You can only see the chatroom? Did you break it?
[Yoosung]: What're you talking about, Seven?
I scrawled a more detailed explanation on the other side of the paper.
[707]: I can't read that, Aya. Hold it closer.
So I did, dragging over Rika's desk chair.
[707]: Okay. Okay. Shit. Um... You're safe in the apartment. Don't worry, no one can get through the great Seven-Zero-Seven's encryption.
My shoulders slumped. I retrieved another paper and scrawled again.
[707]: Hey! You getting the app in the first place was a fluke. A momentary lapse!
[Yoosung]: OMG are you talking to Aya through the cameras?! She can't use her phone?! *shocked emoji* OMG ZEN WAS RIGHT!
[707]: Nah, he wasn't. Gimme juuuuust a minute; someone's banging on my front door. Gotta check it out before it explodes in their face. Be right baaaack, my foreign enigma!
- 707 has left the chatroom -
"Goddammit, Luciel!" I nearly chucked the phone again. Did he take anything seriously? Oh gods. Someone was after me. Again. And damn him, Luciel knew! He knew my past, knew what happened... why couldn't he be serious for once in his life!
I sunk to the floor and cried. I cried and cried and cried until tears washed down my face and dripped onto the hardwood floors. Then, when my eyes ran dry and vision cleared, I stared with dead eyes for what felt like an eternity.
"Get up, Aya. Get up."
And I did. With a strange, floaty calmness I stood and walked to the door. Still locked. I walked to the window, just in case I could somehow use the ledge to get out. Also locked. So I retrieved a knife from the kitchen. I took it, and sat with my back against one of the walls, with both the window and front door in view. In my other hand, I held the phone, and only then did I check it. I'd missed something, and with my phone in the state it was I couldn't scroll up.
[Yoosung]: Zen threatened you *shocked emoji*
[707]: Yup.
[Yoosung]: Whoa *shocked emoji*
[707]: Yeah... super gap moe. If Zen didn't belong to Aya already... *heart emoji* Well, Aya's still on the floor by the couch. Security looks fine to me, no break in's or anything.
Luciel was wrong. There had been a breach in his security. Because I wasn't sitting by the couch. I was on the other side of the apartment.
I held the kitchen knife tighter. Minutes passed, or hours, I couldn't be sure. The chatroom was full of reassurances, from Yoosung and Luciel and eventually Jumin. Jaehee was the most worried, Luciel the least. Almost as if the hacker knew something the others didn't. In fact, he wasn't concerned in the least, refusing even Jumin's demand to send a bodyguard. Just what was these "security" features of his?
The window shattered inward with an ear-splitting crash, sending shards of glass flying around it. And there, in the middle of the halo of shards, was a man. Tall and lean, doubled over from his entrance, and with that same pink-tipped white hair. He slowly lifted his head to stare at me with those clouded, unnerving cyan eyes. Through his mask, I could see his lips curve in a smile, and in his tuned and altered voice, I heard bliss.
"I thought you'd be busy with the party," Unknown stood with practiced grace. He extended his tattooed arm, smiling so wide that his eyes closed. He paused, and I tried to speak. To scream, to plead, to anything, but my throat was dry. Unknown tilted his head, frowning, "You want to scream? Shh, I'll just force you to shut up so you better be quiet." Then, he smiled again, "I am here to take you to Paradise."
"I won't go back to him!" I slid up the wall, heart beating, body shaking. I would rather die than go back there.
Unknown's eye snapped open. He looked almost... confused, "Hmm? Do you think that I..." Then, he laughed. It was a sickening sound, "Oh, oh of course you'd think I was an ally or friend of that sick man. No, no of course not. You were chosen because of the pain you've gone through." Again, he extended a hand, "The Savior chose you, of all the options I found, to go to Paradise. To be saved. Now come, Aya."
"N-no!" I raised the knife, handle slick with sweat as my heart pounded painfully.
Again, Unknown looked completely unfazed by the weapon. Instead, he looked down at the glass and sighed, "Of course you can't, the glass is in the way. You're not wearing shoes; we don't want you to hurt yourself. Don't worry." Unknown smiled, "I'll come to you."
"St-stay back!" Where were all of Luciel's security? The alarms, the police, turret guns, whatever the hell he had to protect the apartment apart from some damn cameras?! "I... I don't want to go to your Paradise!"
"No one does at first," Unknown just... sighed. That kind of heavy sigh an annoyed parent would give to their kid, "They don't know, they don't understa-"
"AYA!"
My heart leaped and I dropped the knife. It fell with a resounding clatter.
Zen.
Zen was in the hall, outside the front door.
Unknown eyed the door, a scowl under his facemask, "I wonder who it is...? Maybe Luciel Choi...?"
"AYA! PLEASE!"
He was banging on the door. I hyperventilated, looking between the door and Unknown. He stepped through the glass and lifted a finger to his lips, "Shhh..." It was then that I noticed the small, cylindrical device in his hand. It looked like a button of some sort. Unknown kneeled down, gingerly plucking my knife from the floor. I pressed back against the wall. Unknown sighed and, with all the pace of a snail, first examined the blade before tossing it behind him. It stuck in the far wall, by the shattered window.
The front door was locked by the security system, now obviously under Unknown's control. There was no way Zen could get in, not with his banging, not even with the code. The door code would only open the first layer of protection on the door. There was still the physical deadbolt. Something beeped, again and again.
Unknown's head lolled to the side, eyeing the door, "He has the door code, but that won't get him in."
"Please..." his head snapped back while I pleaded, "Please leave me alone. I..." Zen's dream. He dreamed of a cage. I would never go back there, "I won't go with you."
"You have no choice," Unknown looked up at me, locking my eyes like a vice as he took to full height. Not quite as tall as Zen, but he still towered over me. I yelped and cried when he slammed a hand on the wall next to my head, smiling, "Time to go to Paradise, Aya."
He pulled. My arm jerked. And I fought. I screamed and clawed, all nails and teeth. He wouldn't take me. No one would ever take me again. Unknown's arm wrapped around my middle, yanking me against him. A man's arm, touching me without permission. I couldn't see his face, my back to his chest. I screamed, "No! No! Don't touch me! No!"
He said something, about standing still, but my ears were closed. I flailed, all limbs and fingernails and gnashing teeth. Never again, never again, never again, never aga-
Krrreack!
My tunnel vision cleared for the briefest moment. The door, once locked, swung open with little bits of wood splintering from where the electronic deadbolt was. Zen stood in the frame, tall and glorious like a warrior angel.
"Aya! Let her go, you son of a bitch!"
I couldn't see Unknown, but I felt his smile. His arms tightened around me. Sickening arms, touching me, his chest vibrating mine with the sound of his crazed chuckling. After a moment, the maniac stopped and merely said, "No."
Zen stepped into the apartment proper, shoulders hunched, face red with anger. He had no weapon, nothing like the sinister button in Unknown's hands. I went numb. Unknown was a hacker, like Luciel. He could have hacked the security. That button could control the security systems somehow. Zen took another step, his voice low and menacing and almost demonic, "If you don't, I'll have to use force to protect my girl."
Unknown's voice was completely unimpressed. The hand around my stomach left and the one around my neck tightened. He was showing Zen the button, "You have no idea what this is, do you? But if you take another step, Luciel Choi's wonderful 'security' will destroy everything..." His hand fell again to my cheek. I could barely see Zen, my vision blurred from tears, "Everything the RFA holds dear."
Zen hesitated. He didn't know what the device was, or what security measures of Luciel's he had control over. As tear spilled over my cheeks, my vision cleared enough to make out his heartbreaking expression, "... what do you want?"
Those too-long, pale fingers of Unknown's trailed back down to my waist, "To escape this place with the RFA's party planner." He laughed, "Of course, I'll take all of the members away soon. Now you just watch there as I take your girl to Paradise." His fingers tightened on my stomach, "Aya will be happier there, anyway. You all will, in our nice gilded cages."
Gilded cages.
Cages.
Caged.
I couldn't breathe unless he allowed it. I couldn't eat unless he allowed it. If I screamed, it was worse. If I didn't scream when he demanded, it was worse. Gilded little birdie in her gilded little cage. Sing for me, birdie, sing for me and me alone. A happy little caged family, all complacent wax smiles. Dead, but still breathing.
There was a buzzing in my ears. Dots in my vision. The feel of the manacles at my wrists, my ankles. The clothes that weren't mine, were never mine, would never be mine. The downy pillows, the pastel colors. Sing for me, birdie, sing for me little lark. Sing, sing, sing.
And so I sang.
The sound was inhuman, from somewhere else. Someone else, in a different time, a different place. Unknown no longer held me. He held me. In his long arms, his lightly tanned fingers. Clawing, clutching, tearing me apart as I sang my screams for him.
"Hey! Stop that!"
The birdie wants out of the cage. The birdie wants freedom.
Another sang a sound of pain, and the caged arms were gone. I kept singing, screams and screams as I ran and ran. To where? I didn't know, I didn't care. Passed the angel-man, down the stairs as shouts and quick steps followed me. The cage was following me. The cage wanted it's birdie back.
I couldn't sing anymore. My throat was raw, drawing in pained breaths to fuel aching lungs, sore legs. But I kept on. Keep running, keep running for you and the one you couldn't save. The one who died to free you.
"Aya!"
That was the birdie's name. But I wasn't singing anymore, even as the air shifted and changed and evening yellows and oranges burst into sight and blinded me. Panic. You have to run, Aya. Run away and never look back. Run, and run, and run. But I couldn't run away anymore.
Arms shot out and jerked me back against a solid chest. He caught me, "Did you think I'd ever let you go, Aya?"
"Aya, calm down!"
"Let me go! Let me go, Michael!" I screamed and fought, but these arms held still. Even as my teeth found purchase on the monster's arm, they didn't move. I tasted iron, and gasped. Ghosts don't bleed, monster's don't bleed.
"Aya, shhh, shhh nae sarang. It's Hyun," Hyun? What was a Hyun? Nae sarang... I knew those words. I knew them, but from where? They weren't words from the cage, they were...
The app. Mystic Messenger. Embarrassing Jaehee and getting laughed at in chat. Helping Yoosung with his homework. Joking with Luciel. Jumin's incessant love of cats and cat-based businesses driving poor Jaehee up the wall.
I fell limp, lifeless, in his arms. He didn't have the tanned skin of my monster. His was pale, smooth, perfect, "There we go, jagiya. Now just breathe. Yes, just like that. Calm. In and out, in and out. You're okay, you're safe. No one is coming after you now."
"Hyun..." The word was a cry, a plea, and a promise all at once. I turned to the man, this angel, torn between running and drawing him closer, "... help."
"How can I help, Aya?" His hand smoothed back my hair. I wanted those fingers closer, but I wanted them far away too.
So I closed my eyes, cutting off visual stimulation, "... I want... to leave."
"Okay. To my place?" He sighed when I flinched, "... or would Jaehee make you more comfortable?"
My eyes snapped open and I froze. Zen's expression was purposefully, painfully blank. But I could see through it. The pain and worry in his eyes, the strain of the pulse at his neck, lingering angry red all over. Oh gods. Oh gods, he knows. Knows or suspects. What crazed words had I sung, had I screamed, back in that apartment?
He smiled, and it was heartbreaking, "It's okay. We'll go to Jaehee's-"
"Take me to your place."
Zen's hands slipped away, but I lunged to clutch at his chest, "Aya, you don't have to-"
"Please," I muttered into his t-shirt, "Please. I feel safer with you."
And I didn't. He hadn't run away yet. And I couldn't either. He suspected now, even more than ever before. And I knew how anxious he'd be if I was left with Jaehee, even under Jumin's guards, after this.
"... okay," Zen helped me to stand, but I collapsed against him. My legs were as useful as putty. But he held me up, and together half-wobbled to a small car nearby. He helped me in, careful never to move suddenly and never leaving my sight. But I couldn't feel his hands anymore. I was so tired. Just so, so tired.
"I'm gonna... sleep."
I couldn't see his face anymore. The car door closed and he moved around it. The other side opened, then closed. Then the car started, a low rumble that lulled me further from reality. I didn't hear his reply, just a noise from oceans away. And those oceans grew larger, wider, and darker. Until I was drowning in them. But I didn't mind. For once, I just let the darkness take me.
Author's Note: Okay fuck me that was dark. But the next chapter is eeeeeeven darker! But also cute. Because angst angst angst. Also, yes, I did have the attempted kidnapping happen before anything real with Echo Girl. I did that because of how I decided to weave the stories together, and some stuff further down. So no worries, the bomb will come up eventually. Just got other characters, some angst, and a little more Phantom to deal with before then :D
