Three: As the Day Breaks
"Do you still make it?"
The sound of his voice—calm, quiet, normal—made her want to pinch herself. Didn't she just make a complete fool of herself? Didn't he just tell her it was over? How could his voice sound normal after that conversation? Shouldn't it sound angry, like she'd expected him to be? Or maybe, just maybe, the tiniest bit wistful, as she'd hoped he'd be? Why was he speaking to her in the same tone he uses to talk to everyone else?
Nonetheless, she stopped and looked over her shoulder.
"Odin's Drink." He had his back on her and was making his way inside the gazebo. "I think I could use one right now."
She was surprised and confused, and it must have shown plainly in her face.
Kel sat down, took one glance her and immediately turned away, frowning. "What? You know how I get when it rains. I'll pay you."
Her forehead smoothened, her lips curving to a smile as a small chuckle escaped her throat.
Maybe he hasn't changed all that much, afterall.
She reached inside her cart and took out a glass container bigger than the one she had a year ago. "Only one? You can have as many as you want now, you know."
It was his turn to look surprised. He caught the bottle she threw in his direction instinctively, studied it for a couple of seconds, and then stared at the alchemist who was settling herself near the gazebo's entrance. She turned to face him and shrugged.
"It's not quite as strong as it used to be, but it's still a hundred times better than ordinary beer. Took me a year and some very rare new ingredients but I've finally figured it out. And now, my baby's ready for mass production!" She gave him a triumphant grin before turning away and taking out another bottle. "Of course, it's more expensive than before, too. Two thousand five hundred a bottle."
"What kind of idiot will spend that much money on three gulps of booze?" he scoffed, throwing her an indignant look.
She merely smirked, uncorked her bottle and raised it. "Oh, it's more than three gulps. Why don't you give it a try? Believe me, after the first two sips, you'll be begging for more. I know it probably sounds too cocky, but it's true. That's just the way it is."
He watched her closely, subconsciously, relearning the contours of her face, the soft curves of her cheekbones, the tiny crease of her dimple, and the smug, asymmetrical tilt of her lips. A sudden surge of pain tore through him, gripping his heart, lashing at his gut. It was a familiar ache, something months of work and vice had somehow managed to dull. But this time, with her only inches from him, talking to him like he was an old friend, everything just went flooding right back sharper than ever. It reminded him how mysteriously soothing her smooth alto voice was, and how comfortable it was to hear her speak. It reminded him how easy it was to just sit back and listen to her, to have a simple, spontaneous conversation.
And how incredibly natural it was for him to love her.
He quickly shifted his gaze, pried the cork off the bottle and downed its entire contents in huge, almost frenzied gulps.
"No," Hannah murmured, her eyes shining with amusement. "You haven't changed a bit."
At first, nothing happened. Then, in a nanosecond, he felt it. He didn't know what it was, exactly. His body felt like it was burning inside out. Or freezing. He wasn't sure which. It began from his mouth, down to his throat, his stomach, spreading across his chest, his arms, his toes, his brain. His brain, oh, his brain! He could feel it throbbing—a pleasant kind of throb, if ever there was such a thing. It was gone in a couple of heartbeats though, all of it—the burning, the freezing, the throbbing. The only sensation left was the tingles. It left him in an almost bewildered state.
But he wasn't bewildered. No, his mind was clear as crystal, his senses heightened, sharp and keen.
"You're supposed to drink it slowly if you wanna get drunk."
"What the hell was that?" he demanded furiously, his knuckles almost white as he gripped the edge of the stone seat tightly.
"Odin's Drink," she replied with a satisfied nod. "New and improved. The way you took it though, it's gonna have an effect similar to an awakening potion." She threw him another bottle. "Here. Follow that up right away."
He caught the vial easily without taking his glaring eyes off the girl.
"Yep, it's a booster potion that doubles as booze. I'm brilliant. I know." She laughed heartily before taking a few mouthfuls of the brew herself. "Go on, drink up. You're never gonna get drunk with just one bottle y'know."
He closed his eyes and brought the glass to his lips, this time savoring the drink. He had to admit, it tastes good.
"How's Ed?"
The question was so sudden, so out-of-the-blue, and his voice was flat and emotionless. Her eyes darted to his face briefly, then over to the distant mountains.
"Better. He's got his old strength back. I think he's planning to revive SilverCross. And also…" She took a deep breath. "He's--"
"Got another girl." He didn't face her, but his eyes narrowed.
She closed her eyes and shook her head, smiling. "He wants to get married by the end of the year."
"Let me guess. Another priestess? No, it's probably some random dancer or gypsy this time. Am I right?"
It was just like before. Foolish girl. You never learn. And now you come running back to me, telling me I'm not your second choice? Stupid, stupid girl!
She sighed softly. "An alchemist, actually."
"I'll kill the fucking bastard!"
He was already standing, his fists clenched, determined to put his words into action at that very moment.
"Sit down, Kel," she said quietly, calmly blocking his way. "There's no need for that."
"The fuck there isn't!"
"It's me, Kel. Ed asked me to marry him."
There was a resounding silence.
"Then I don't know what the fuck you're doing here." He slumped back in his seat, disgusted. He rummaged his pockets for a cigarette, but remembered he was all out. He let out an annoyed grunt.
"I would've thought it obvious," she muttered with a sigh. "Stupid and stubborn. Honestly. I don't know why I even bother." She went over her cart and threw him another bottle before sitting back down.
I'm sorry. You're right. I'm the idiot. I'm stupid and stubborn. And many things worse. But I'm glad you do bother and I'm glad you're here. I missed you, Hannah. Don't marry him. Be with me instead.
But the words were never uttered.
A coward.
That's what he was.
She made him feel emotions he never knew he was capable of feeling. But he could never bring himself to say how he felt. He would curse and shout when he's mad, but he could never put to words the way his heart flutters when her hand brushes his, or how he loved to feel her warmth next to him in bed. There were kisses, caresses, but never any words spoken between them—at least none of the ones that matter.
Ed, on the other hand, was probably very vocal about his feelings. He asked her to be with him when he needed her. And she did just that, leaving Kel, who never really asked her to stay.
No. He never asked her to stay. Instead, he pushed her away. He cursed her, called her names, when all he really wanted to say was 'Don't leave me. I'm not as strong as you think I am. I'll be lost without you.'
He knew he needed only to say the words, and she would've stayed. But he didn't. She said them anyway, those three words. But what did he do? He slammed the door in response. He could've saved the relationship then, and he knew it. But he didn't.
Coward.
And now, there it was again. That wretched moment where he ought to be telling her what a complete idiot he's been. It was the time for him to beg her to take him back.
But he couldn't.
She stood up. "Well, it was nice seeing you again, Kel. Spread the word about my Odin's Drink, would you. If you need some more, you know my spot in Prontera."
And she started to walk away, tugging her cart behind.
"You're going the wrong way."
She stopped and blinked. It was still dark, and the sun was barely peeking out over the horizon. She had to squint in the first light of dawn, but she was certain that the massive walls in the distance were the same ones that surround the city.
"I don't think so."
"Our agit's in the opposite direction."
She turned, an eyebrow raised. "What are you talking about?"
He sighed. "Dammit, Hannah. You know I'm not good with this emotion crap."
She merely folded her arms across her chest and raised the other eyebrow.
"I would've thought it rather obvious by now."
He turned his gaze over the misty mountains. After all that rain last night, he expected to find another rainbow. But there wasn't any. He stood up, casting a sidelong glance at her as he walked out of the gazebo. Both brows were now down and were now furrowed in a frown.
"Just spit it out, Kel. That was my line."
He would've smirked to that, had his heart not been hammering like hell in his ribcage.
"Fine. You can't keep on coming and going like this. You're driving me nuts, and I won't have it! I'm not letting you walk away from me again, Hannah." He turned his back on her, his cheeks turning a bit pink. "Especially now. Come on, this way."
"You're not good with the emotion crap, I get it," she murmured with a smile. She picked up her cart handles and followed the sniper. "I'm not that great at it either. We'll just have to learn together then." Then in a louder voice, "So, you still have Yssnelf, right?"
"Yeah. Why?" He looked at her suspiciously out of the corner of his eye.
"Oh, nothing. It'll make my potion ingredients hunting easier, that's all."
"Should've known. You only wanted me for my castle."
"That, and your men. See, I have another brilliant idea and I'm gonna need some test subjects…"
"Trey's probably not gonna like that."
An evil snigger. "Well, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?"
He looked up at the sky. That deep, rich blue that seemed to stretch on and on and on.
But just because it was clear then doesn't mean it won't rain again.
Then again, maybe he did not mind the rain all that much anymore.
"Yeah. I suppose we will."
There might not always be a rainbow after the rain, but who gives shit.
She's back in his life now.
And he's not about to let go.
--End--
