Nothing Else Matters

By: Criss Shadows

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters...

A/N: Hey, sorry I haven't been able to update. Term papers due and everything. I think that this chapter should be longer than the others and I hope that you will enjoy the chapter. And I have been working on a play. I don't have a leading role, but it's big enough.


Chapter 2: No More Nights, No More Pain


For the next two weeks, Harry wasn't left alone. Hermione and Ron took care of that. He couldn't even go to the loo without being harassed. Harry didn't blame them, but they could just give him a little breathing room.

Then, there is not to mention the school. The whole school looks at him different. When Harry is near, they all start whispering. Harry always caught snippets of what they were saying. No matter how hard he tried to block it out.

'...did you hear?'

'...he tried to off himself...'

'...I don't blame him...'

'...I heard You-Know-Who possessed him and...'

Harry was beginning to become fed up with them. Everyone was driving him crazy. He needed somewhere to be alone. Somewhere where he could think. He knew just the place. Tonight, he would go and seek it.

Harry made his way to this secret hiding area that no one would know about but him. As he walked, he reminisced on how he got away from Ron and Hermione. He couldn't believe that he had gotten away with this.

He had decided to tell them that instead of going to dinner, he was going to go the library and study and then get some sleep. Ron was about to protest, but Hermione let Harry go. Harry guessed that she could see the pleading look in his eyes. But then again...

Well, Harry didn't care. He was alone and that was all that mattered. He continued the rest of his journey quite peacefully. Thinking about the assignments that he had to really complete. It can wait until tomorrow, Harry thought. When he finally reached his destination, he opened the door and entered.

It was an abandoned astronomy tower classroom. He thanked the Marauder's Map for this. This area was secluded and had it's own balcony. He looked around the room. It had years of dust caked on the entire surface of the room. Chairs and desks were toppled over and thrown askew. Cobwebs in every nook and cranny. But the most beautiful thing about this room was the view. Harry walked across the classroom over to the balcony. Tonight, the moon was full and Hogwarts grounds looked like a sea. A sea of blackness. A never-ending abyss of darkness. There were only 2 dots piercing that black sea. Hagrid's cabin. Harry wished they were out.

On the balcony, there was a golden telescope. Unweathered, untainted, untouched. As if it were brand new. Harry knew that this was some kind of charm. He reached out his hand to touch the telescope. It was cold to the touch. It made Harry shiver a little as he realized how cool tonight was. All he had on was t-shirt and jeans.

Harry looked back out to the abyss. He put his hands on the stone railings and let the wind blow through his hair. He closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. Savoring his peace. The sanity that he had at that moment.

His thoughts begin to drift. To that night. The night he should have died. He just can't imagine anyone coming in to save him. Not even his best friends. It was something he thought about, just not below the surface. He was so lost in his thoughts, that he almost didn't hear the door to the room opening. Harry spun around and came face to face with...

'I saw you...'

Those three words kept Harry on the edge. He had even fallen more into himself if that was possible. He even stopped talking to everyone, including his friends. Classes seemed to go by in a big blur. Ever since that night, he decided to remain silent. That was all he could remember. All he could think about. He lived in fear of what those words could've meant. Did that mean that they had saw him? Lying there dying and decided to help? That they saw him at the most vulnerable moment of his entire life? Does that mean-

Harry was suddenly cut off from his thoughts to be replaced with the voice of Hermione. He looked at her. "Harry, talk to me. I don't deserve this," she said as she looked at him with concern in her eyes. Harry just looked at her. He knew he should talk, but just couldn't find the strength to make himself talk. So instead he stared at her with an apologetic look in his eyes and looks down. "Harry, what is going on? You were talking before. Did someone do something?" Harry shook his head and begin to scribble on the parchment before him.

She looked at him. "Did someone say anything to you?" Harry hesitated before shaking his head. "Alright, Harry. If you are not going to talk, I will leave you alone." Harry kept his eyes on the parchment and waited until she left. She turned around. "I guess that means that you are not coming to dinner?" Harry shook his head. "Okay, I save you something."

He waited twenty minutes after she left. He needed to get away again. He wanted to go back to the Astronomy Tower, but was terrified to actually go back. He hadn't been back since the night of the intruder. He half-hoped that he would be alone, yet the other half hoped that he wouldn't. But he could only hope.

Harry made his was to the tower without having any problems. However, when he reached the door, he hesitated. With his hand on the handle, he thought about what could be on the other side of the door and his heart began to race. He closed his eyes. Either it was there or not. He took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

He immediately scanned the room for any signs of life. There were only himself and a spider in the corner, spinning its web. Harry sighed from chagrin and relief. He couldn't figure out the disappointment part of it when he came here to be alone.

Harry walked toward the middle of the room. He dragged a chair across the dust-covered floor and sat down. He stared out toward the balcony. As he stared, those three words played in his head. Again and again. I saw you... Memories of when those words were voiced began to fill his head. He felt a wet, warm tear leak from his eye. He didn't even bother to wipe it away.

His memories became so strong, that he couldn't tell the difference between illusion and reality, Harry didn't even hear the door open and close and the muttered locking charm. He just continued to cry. What made Harry realize that he was not alone was that someone was wiping his tears. Harry instantly stood up, toppling his chair over in the process.

The person was here. The person whom he wanted to see, but never wanted to see again. This was the person who had brought him back from his deathbed. He hated this person. With every fibre of his being. From the very core of himself, he hated this person standing before him. Their first conversation, left unfinished by those three words was fairly short. On account of Harry storming out. Harry could feel himself tighten and tense with anger. He could feel the magic and anger radiating off of him, like the faint glow that rises off the moon's surface on a full moon.

Harry stared at this person. Maybe they had said all that they needed to say their first time. But then, why would they come back? Harry finally gathered enough strength to ask calmly. "What are you doing here?"

They stared back at Harry coldly. They could see the coldness in Harry's eyes. So, if Harry wanted to be that way, they could do the dame. "To finish our conversation."

Harry stared at them in disbelief. He didn't want to finish that conversation. If anything, he wanted to run from it. Harry was being stared at with those piercingly cold eyes. Boring into Harry, making his slightly shiver. He turned around to leave when a hand reached out, grabbed his arm and swung him around. Harry could feel himself panic. He was now standing flush against this person. This person whom he hated now had his arm and won't let go. Harry clenched his fist unconsciously. "Why? Why, when all of the Wizarding World adors you? Why, when you have loyal friends who care about you? Who would lay their life on the line for you? Why, when you are the only one who can set us free from You-Know-Who? Are you that pathetic? Selfish? Dense? You have the whole world at your feet, and yet- yet you don't want it? What-"

Harry cut them off abruptly. He could feel all the tension and rage and anger building up inside of him. "You think I want the world at my feet? You think I asked for this? NO! I want a normal life. I don't want to fight Voldemort. It seems that to everyone, that was all I was born for. I don't need a reminder! I have one whenever I look into the damn mirror every morning. Everyday, I am poked and prodded at. In the news. By gossip and students! Well, I was sick of it. You want my life? Here, take it. I will be glad to trade places with you any day! I-"

Harry was suddenly cut off when he looked at this person. Still holding Harry's arm. Harry tried to wrench his arm away but failed. Harry was feeling too hot-headed. He needed to finish. He needed to know. "Let me ask you. Why? Why did you save me? You could've let me die." Harry stated.

"I know that I could've let you die." The person stated. They closed their eyes and begin again. "I could've let you die. Let you die without breaking a sweat. Without lifting a finger. I could've let you drain dry right there on the floor. But you want to know why?" Harry nodded. They took a deep breath. "It is simply because I despise you. I hate the way you think that the world revolves around you. And how you seem so sure about yourself and where you are going. I hate the way you just blindly walk in faith. I hate those loyal friends of yours. Who are willing to die for you and they have never-ending faith in you.

"That night, when I saw you leave, I saw my chance. My opportunity to make you suffer. Endure what I have endured for the past five years. When I saw you leave without the company of your two friends, I followed you. Over the summer, I had practiced counter-curses, jinxes and hexes. All just to use on you. I also learned ways to protect myself from whatever you threw my way. Yes, you were coming to your payday. But when I found you, I found myself confused. Here, you had done all the work for me, my chance to say goodbye, but I couldn't."

They released Harry's arm and began to walk toward the door. After he left, Harry found himself staring at the back of Draco Malfoy.