A/N 1 - Wow...I'm horribly late in updating this. My apologies! Things have been very busy this week, and well...there was episode one of season three. With a real live McDreamy declaration of love. Talk about a great way to kick off a new season. So, I have been wasting way too much time watching and rewatching that, instead of working on updating my story. Sorry, sorry, sorry! Anyway, here's a longish update. My attempt to make up for the delay! Not sure what I think about this section, it feels kinda filler-y, to set things up for the ending. But, it's got a cute Mer/Der scene in it, so hopefully it's not too bad. Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to review, and been patient enough to wait for more. Thanks so much! That's about it...read away, and review!
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Meredith
News travels fast at Seattle Grace. Actually that feels like an understatement. It travels with lightening speed. Okay…Derek and I driving to work together probably didn't do anything to slow it down, but what was I supposed to do? Make him walk to the hospital? That could've made him late for work, which would have been horrible if anyone came in needing emergency brain surgery. (No one did. It was a slow morning. But still…) I didn't have a choice. My…boyfriend? I guess Derek's my boyfriend now. I don't know what else to call him. I mean, he's definitely more then just some guy I'm sleeping with. But he's technically still married, and I still need to officially end things with Finn. Finn thinks he's my boyfriend too. I guess I have two boyfriends then? Well, for now. It's a temporary problem. Anyway, my boyfriend (the gorgeous neurosurgeon, not the vet) needed a ride to work. It's not my fault if people saw us in the car together, or walking into the hospital together, or taking the elevator together.
Okay…maybe the elevator part was unnecessary. But honestly, we didn't even kiss. We just stood there talking. And trying to ignore the fact that everyone was whispering about us and staring at us. It's actually kind of unnerving. I think the whole hospital knows the jist of what happened at Joe's last night, and it's only noon.
"Dr. Grey." I spin around, nearly dropping the folder in my hands, to locate the voice. "Dr. Grey?"
"Yes?" I answer, trying to manage a smile. This is just fantastic. I'm face to face with a group of giggling, smirking nurses. "What is it?" I ask, as one of the nurses smirks at her coworkers, before breaking away and walking towards me.
"The lab results for Mr. Erickson are back," she says, brandishing a folder at me.
"Oh…" I glance down, studying the papers. "Umm, he's not my patient. This is Dr. Shepherd's patient." I frown at the nurse, but she just shrugs. She's not new, I've seen her around her before. She should know how to find the doctor's name on a file by now.
She shrugs her shoulders. "Yeah, well…I'm sure you can give it to him."
"No…" I say slowly, scanning the first page. "Umm…Dr. Yang is the intern on the case. You'll need to page her."
I start to pass the folder back to her, but she just raises an eyebrow. "Avoiding Dr. Shepherd?"
"What? No…I'm…"
"Quite the change from last night," continues the nurse. "I suppose you're bored with him now? No challenge once you've already destroyed the marriage, eh?" I just blink at her. I mean, seriously? Seriously? I can't even think of a way to answer that that doesn't involve me calling her things that are likely to get me kicked out of the program, or physical violence, or a combination of both.
"I'm not his intern today," I say stiffly, practically shoving the folder into her hands. She just shrugs and smiles a sickeningly sweet, smug smile. Without waiting another second, I turn on my heel and march off down the hall. I do my best to ignore the chorus of laughter that drifts from the group of nurses, but I practically barrel into Cristina when I round the corner.
"Umm…ow," she says, grabbing me by the shoulders to steady herself. "What's wrong with you?" she adds after taking a look at my face.
"Nothing," I hiss, still walking ridiculously fast down the hall.
"Uh huh…what'd you do?"
"Nothing," I repeat, stopping to glare at her. "Nothing except break up a marriage and….and…." I shake my head and go back to storming down the hallway. I officially hate nurses now.
"Whoa…Mer, what happened to freakish McHappy from this morning?"
"Huh?" I stop walking to frown at Cristina. "What are you talking about?"
"You were beaming," she says in a low voice, as if her point is obvious. It's not. Seriously, I have no idea what she's getting at here, and she's my person. I usually know just what she's talking about.
"I was not beaming," I say, crossing my arms over my chest defensively. Honestly, right now I'm not even sure I remember what a smile feels like.
"Have you looked in a mirror at all today Mer? You were grinning like an idiot all of rounds." I was not. She's imagining things. I might have been smiling a little when we were rounding on Derek's nerve case, but that's only because he kept staring at me. And not just staring at me, but McDreamy staring at me, and seriously, how can you not smile at that?
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say stiffly, making a face at Cristina. She just smirks. She actually smirks at me. She is lucky I got all my freaking out done last night. And that I'm now a safe distances from the nurses. "You're imaging things."
"Uh huh," she says, rolling her eyes. "Relax Mer. Screaming orgasms tend to make people all smiley afterwards." She raises her hand, gesturing at my face. "Looks like you could use another one now though." I glance over my shoulder at the nurses' station just a few feet away. I cannot believe she actually said that outloud.
"Cristina…" I glare at her, shushing her and hurrying us further down the hall. "I…we…" I stammer, finally settling on repeating that I have no idea what she is talking about. Too bad I already told her everything this morning. Probably means she's not going to believe me now. Yep…here comes the eye roll. Cristina doesn't believe me.
"Nice try. Bambi says you two actually woke him up." I just cringe and shush her again. What is she trying to do? I mean, seriously! People are gossiping about Derek and I enough already, the last thing I need is for some nurse to hear me describing what the two of us did last night. "Relax Mer," continues Cristina as we flop down onto an empty gurney. "I just came to tell you that you've officially defeated the She-Shepherd."
"Huh?"
"Addison."
"I know who the She-Shepherd is Cristina. What do you mean I've defeated her?"
"Evil Spawn's off the vagina squad. He said she isn't here, and apparently she won't be here tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, or…"
"Seriously?" I interrupt incredulously. I've been steering clear of Maternity all morning, trying to avoid another encounter with Addison.
"Yep. Alex says you're his new best friend."
"Wait…she's leaving Seattle? As in, gone forever? Because of me?" I shake my head, feeling a sudden sharp pang of guilt pierce through my wall of anger. I don't know what I was expecting exactly…for nothing at all to happen? That's just stupid. Obviously things are changing. The end of a marriage is going to change things. But still… I sigh and look back at Cristina.
"I don't know," she continues, shrugging. "He didn't say." She pauses and looks down the hall, her face instantly transforming into something halfway between a grin and a smirk. "Ask lover boy. He'd probably know."
"Lover boy?" I echo, raising an eyebrow at Cristina. She just pats my shoulder and hops down from the gurney.
"Afternoon Dr. Shepherd," she calls, still smirking as I turn around to find Derek walking towards us.
"Dr. Yang," he replies, taking up the abandoned spot beside me on the gurney. "Dr. Grey," he continues, turning to look at me as Cristina walks away. I think she says something about where she's going, but seriously, that's just flying through one ear and out the other. Because, well…Derek's grinning at me. Grinning at me with eyes that are even more painfully blue then normal, and hair that is adorably messed up from spending the morning under a scrub cap. Adorably messed up? Crap. What is wrong with me? I'm supposed to be seething and angry here, but Cristina's right. I'm grinning like an idiot again, not to mention thinking thoughts about how cute Derek's hair looks today. Which honestly, might be even worse then the obsessive smiling, and is definitely very un-surgeon-like of me.
I need help. Seriously.
"Dr. Shepherd," I manage to say through my ridiculous smile. He just grins a little more.
"Have lunch with me?" he asks.
"Lunch?" I stammer. "With…with you?"
"Lunch. With me." Derek nods, pulling his legs up onto the gurney and leaning back against the wall.
"I can't." I lean forward, turning to scan the thankfully empty hall. Derek's face falls instantly, and I move to explain. (Pathetic, I know. But I really can't help it when he pouts like that.) "People are already talking. More then talking, Derek. I can't take two steps without stumbling into a conversation about me."
"You're popular," he interrupts, smirking at me as if this is a good thing.
"Derek," I insist, shaking my head. "Us going to eat together would just…I don't know. It'd just be adding fuel to the fire!"
"You're paranoid," he says, smiling at me. "No fuel. No fire. It'd just be lunch. Besides, since everyone already knows…" His voice trails off, ending with a shrug, and a smirk that makes it clear he thinks he's got a bullet-proof argument. Really…he can be such an ass.
"Derek, no. I'm not sitting in the cafeteria so that people can stare at us. Besides, you're technically married. It's inappropriate."
"So, let me get this straight. I can't eat lunch with you because it's inappropriate, but last night I could…"
"Derek Shepherd, don't you dare finish that sentence," I interrupt, clamping my hand down over his mouth as a lone nurse makes her way down the hall, eyeing us curiously. My hand stays clamped over Derek's mouth until she disappears, and I do my best to ignore the way he's smirking at me over my hand. When I finally free his lips, he just raises an eyebrow.
"What?" he asks innocently.
"Oh don't 'What?' me. You know exactly what you were going to say, and it would have been completely inappropriate for work."
"Dr. Grey," he begins loftily, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back against the wall. "Have you ever considered the possibility that I'm completely innocent, and you just have a dirty mind?" I was doing an excellent job of glaring at him, but at this I snort, laughing and shaking my head. "It's possible," he continues, leaning towards me and dropping his voice down to a whisper as he points out just what about last night proves that I'm the one with the dirty mind. I was right. What he was planning on saying is completely inappropriate.
"Derek," I interrupt, still laughing slightly as I turn to look at him. Okay yeah…probably a bad idea when Derek's already leaning so close to me, because this right here is pretty much a prime kissing position. Add that to the fact that Derek's just been whispering some very inappropriate things in my ear? The fact that I'm not straddling him right here on the gurney is seriously admirable. (And people say I have no self control.)
"Yes?" he says softly, tilting his head to the side, his gaze drifting down to my lips. I think I was planning on saying something, but honestly I can't remember right now. Derek keeps leaning forward slowly until his mouth isn't even an inch from mine, and I shiver. I can't help shivering when he's this close to me. Derek just tends to make everything all wide-eyed and tingly. However, this is a very public hallway. Kissing him here would be a very bad idea. Maybe if I just repeat that to myself over and over again, I'll be fine. Public hallway…bad idea…public hallway…
"Umm…" I manage to stammer, pulling away slightly. "You said…you…umm…well, last night." Derek just frowns at me. I don't think he's following my rambling very well. That's okay though…I'm not following it too well either. I do have a point though. I swear.
"Last night?" he echoes, his eyebrows knitting together .
"You said it was up to me. Last night, you said how slow or how fast…that I could choose," I blurt out, watching Derek's face carefully. His expression doesn't change at all, he just keeps on frowning a little. It's kind of disconcerting. "And that, whatever I chose you'd be okay with," I add softly.
Derek's voice is just a low murmur of agreement. "Mmhmm…"
"So, I'm not saying that we can't eat lunch together or that I'm never going into the cafeteria when you're there, but it's too much right now. I mean, yesterday we were hardly speaking to each other, and now today… Well, today we're all…you know…" My voice trails off and I shrug. Derek just tilts his head to the side, looking at me like I'm a particularly puzzling CT scan. Real helpful there McDreamy. Real helpful. "Derek," I insist, after he's stared at me for a good minute.
"Hmm?" He straightens up and grins. "Today we're all what?"
"We're all…you know," I repeat pointedly.
"I don't know."
"All coupley," I finally hiss in a low voice, causing Derek to break out into an even wider grin.
"And that's a bad thing?"
"Yes. No…" I shift uncomfortably, pulling on a strand of my hair. "Maybe?"
"Maybe?"
"Yeah…maybe," I repeat, before looking down at the floor and falling silent. Derek nods his head, leaning back against the wall.
"So basically, you took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it?" He's joking now? When I'm trying really hard to be serious? Ass. My head snaps back up to glare at him, but Derek's grinning like an idiot and somehow I start smiling too.
"I did not take advantage," I mutter, and somehow (that's entirely not my fault) my head finds its way down to rest on his shoulder.
"You did," he counters quietly, his voice getting lost in my hair. I'm pretty sure he's smiling because his voice is curving warmly, and I'm this close to giving in and deciding that being all coupley all the time is freaking fabulous. But then…the thought comes back, and I remember what I wanted to ask him in the first place.
"Derek?"
"Hmm?"
"Is Addison leaving Seattle because of me?" We both sit up, pulling apart slightly as soon as I say her name.
"Leaving Seattle?" Derek frowns, his hand reaching up to run through his hair. "Not that I know of."
"Oh…" I shift uncomfortably, swinging my legs back and forth, the tips of my shoes just skimming over the floor. Derek doesn't say anything else, and I'm not sure what to say myself. Addison has to be gone. Alex can be a jerk, but he's one guy who doesn't just make things up.
"Mer?" says Derek cautiously, resting his hand on my arm. I sigh and turn to look at him.
"It's just…it's just that Alex was like her freaking personal assistant, and he says she's gone. And if she is, then I'm a horrible person. I mean, not that working with her was going to be easy, but for her to run the other way immediately because of me? Crap. Derek, I'm a horrible person. I practically kicked her out of Seattle!"
Derek just blinks at me for a moment. "Slow down," he says, his hand still holding onto my arm. "You didn't kick anyone out of Seattle."
"I didn't?"
"No. I haven't talked to her, but I heard from Richard that she's taking a week off. She called him this morning."
"Oh…"
"After that, I don't know. But it's hardly kicking her out of Seattle Meredith." I nod my head numbly, going back to swinging my legs and staring at the floor. Alright, apparently I didn't kick Addison out of the city, but still…it kinda feels like all the guilt from prom and breaking up a marriage just finally caught up with me.
"So," continues Derek, his voice surprisingly upbeat. "What about lunch?" Seriously? After the sudden wall of guilt that just smacked me in the face?
"Derek…no, I have to…umm…I'm not hungry." He raises an eyebrow at me. Well that's just what he gets for ignoring the whole part where I told him it was too soon for us to have lunch together. I swear that was only five minutes ago. "I…have to do a thing."
"Meredith. What is it?"
I scoot off the gurney, shaking my head. "Last night was good," I say, and a smirk instantly crosses Derek's face. Seriously, he has such a dirty mind. Not that I mind, but no…I'm focusing on being serious here. I take a deep breath, and before I fully realize it, I'm doing the whole serious thing really, really well. (Judging by Derek's face, maybe a little too well.) "It's just that, Finn still thinks he's my boyfriend. He invited me to his beach house. That was the last thing he talked to me about. And you haven't even signed the divorce papers yet. Addison may or may not be fleeing the city. But either way, she's certainly not here right now. And pretty much all of this is because of me, Derek. I'm starting to feel like a freaking tidal wave here. Or something else seriously destructive. So no, we can't have lunch. People are talking about me. And I already broke George, and you already broke me, and I'm not going to break Finn too."
Derek mutters something under his breath that sounds a lot like a description of just what he thinks should happen to Finn. (For the record, Derek's not exactly the nicest man when he's feeling jealous.) I just stare at him as he falls silent, and a moment later he nods. "No lunch," he says.
I nod my head in agreement. "No lunch."
"We're not breaking anyone this time."
"Exactly. We're being responsible." Derek sighs, and gets off the gurney. "What?" I add, taking in his expression. It's a little gloomy, almost…perturbed even.
Derek smiles slightly, looking suddenly guilty. "It wouldn't hurt Finn to get broken a little," he mumbles, shifting his weight from foot to foot. It wouldn't hurt him? The definition of breaking someone implies pain. And he calls himself a brain surgeon? Seriously?
"Derek…" I say, edging my voice with just a hint of anger.
"I know…definitely no lunch now."
"You think? Seriously Derek, why do you hate him so much? He's just a nice guy who tried to take care of our dog, and ended up getting caught in the middle of a huge mess."
"I know," says Derek reluctantly, shrugging his shoulders.
"Look, I already wrecked your marriage. I'm just trying not to wreck anything else okay?" My voice rises, growing a little too high and thin, but I can't help it. I'm once again back to feeling completely overwhelmed. Derek moves to sit back down beside me on the gurney, but my pager goes off, and I yank it from my scrubs.
"Meredith…you didn't break…" But I shake my head, fastening the pager back in place.
"No…I have to get this, okay?" Without waiting for Derek to reply, I push past him and hurry away down the hall.
Derek
"Dr. Bailey," I say as I walk into the elevator. She just raises an eyebrow but doesn't reply. "Interesting case?" I continue, tilting my towards the file she's examining as the doors close.
"Hmmm…" she snorts, snapping the folder short.
"Not interesting?"
"No…no…interesting. Very interesting. It needs a consult though, the woman's seven months pregnant. Don't suppose you can help me with that?"
"Umm…well…no…" I begin, but Bailey cuts me off.
"No, but the other Dr. Shepherd could." She folds her arms over her chest, with a look on her face that makes me pretty much certain that she knows Addison's taken the week off, and why. Of course she'd know. Somehow Bailey always knows everything around here.
"Yes. That is her specialty," I say quietly, leaning back against the wall. "Although, there are several other doctors in the hospital, several excellent doctors, who could give you the consult." I smile hopefully, but Bailey just shakes her head. "She'll be back," I add, after we've stood there for what feels like a good minute in silence. "You know…she's just taking a week off. It's…it's…complicated." Bailey frowns, and for a second, she looks as if she's about to yell at me. Instead, she just nods her head.
"So, you finally made a choice."
"I did."
"About damn time too."
I nod my head. "I know."
Bailey turns to look at me, her finger pointing at my chest. "Don't you hurt my intern now," she says. I blink in surprise at the sudden statement. Bailey always has had a way of catching me off guard.
"Of course not," I say defensively, as soon as I find my voice. "I wouldn't. I won't." Bailey makes a low, almost scornful noise, once again folding her arms over her chest. "I won't," I insist. "Don't you believe me?"
"Oh I know you think you're charming, and just about everything Meredith could ever want. But I also know your track record, so no, I won't believe it until I see it."
"I'm not what…" I begin to defend myself, but stop abruptly, caught by the memory of Meredith storming down the hall this morning. "It's over this time," I say simply, and for the first time since I got on the elevator, I see Bailey smile.
"Good," she says as the doors slide slowly apart to reveal Meredith standing there, waiting for the elevator. Bailey shoots me a look before exiting the elevator as Meredith walks on.
"Hey," she says quietly, smiling up at me.
"Hey." She looks infinitely happier then she did in the hallway this morning.
Meredith leans against the wall, resting a pile of charts on her hip. We just stare at each other for a second before she ducks her head slightly. "Sorry about earlier," she mumbles.
"Earlier?"
"Yeah, earlier. With the no lunch thing, and the yelling about Finn thing."
"Oh…you don't need to apologize."
"Yeah…well," she shrugs her shoulders. "I was a little bit crazy."
"Nah," I begin, but Meredith shakes her head.
"I was."
"But I like you a little bit crazy." Meredith just grins and bites her lip. "And I'm sorry too," I continue. "You should talk to Finn. He does deserve it." She nods slowly, fidgeting with the buttons on her lab coat. "And what sort of person wants to eat lunch anyway?"
"I like to eat lunch," says Meredith, finally meeting my eyes again.
"Yes, but…you're a little bit crazy."
She smirks, nodding her head. "I am."
"You are." I step closer to her, shifting our bodies so that she's pressed between me and the wall. "So, what about dinner? I think it's a better meal anyway."
"Dinner? You're asking me to dinner?"
"I am." She tilts her head to the side, still smiling at me, but not answering. "Tomorrow night," I continue, leaning closer to her. "You, me, fancy menus, all that stuff."
"You mean…like at a restaurant? On a date?" Meredith raises an eyebrow almost skeptically.
"Yes, a date."
"We never used to go on dates." I frown…she's right. We never really did. It was usually just us at her house, occasionally at my trailer, eating whatever we could find in the fridge, followed by lots of sex. I can hardly believe that she's never once dressed up just to go somewhere with me.
"We should," I say quietly, hoping she won't disagree. I want this time to be different. I want her to really see how important she is to me this time. And honestly, I'm pretty sure I have a lot to make up for too.
"We should," echoes Meredith, her voice almost a whisper. I think I'm grinning now, and our mouths inch closer and closer together. Just as our lips touch, the doors slide open with an obtrusive ding. We pull apart, glancing sheepishly at the open doors.
"Okay," I say, walking back out into the main hospital. Meredith just follows beside me, still smiling. There's something wonderful about her smile. I don't know what it is exactly, but it's perfect.
"Okay then," she agrees, before we have to separate, and walk down opposite hallways to our patients. "Okay."
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A/N 2 - So yeah, Meredith was a bit overwhelmed this chapter. She started off good, but then the nurses were accusing her of things, and talking about her, so...she got a little bit crazy. I like Meredith a little bit crazy, and I like the idea that Derek doesn't get freaked out by Meredith getting a little bit crazy. I wanted a second Derek/Bailey scene, since she knew that they had been together while Derek was still married. And she's glad that Derek made a choice, but I think she wants to make sure Mer doesn't get hurt. Because Mer's her intern, and she's Bailey, and even if she doesn't say it, she's protective like that. Finally, yeah...more Mer/Der in an elevator. They're going to have an actual date...because Mer deserves an actual date and not just an exam room or an on-call room, or something else convenient. So yep, that's about it. Sorry again for the long delay. (Hopefully this was worth the wait, and people haven't given up on the story.) Just two more chapters to go!
