Sorry it has taken so long to update. I got a new job and my life has been very crazy...but I hope this is a good christmas present for you.


It had been four days since they allowed him to start eating with the others. And each day he sat in the same spot with the same people. Cindy to his left, Zach and Emma across from them, and Saul to his right. He didn't know everyone else's names yet, for there were a lot of them. But they were all kind and welcomed him into their conversations. Allowing him to catch up with all the gossip.

After lunch that day he was returned by someone other than Juliet. He was curious as to where she was, seeing as she was the one who always took him places and brought him things.

"Where's Juliet." He asks curiously.

"It's her day off." The bearded man says throwing Jack into the hydra and slamming the door shut. He already missed her and her gentleness, since this had re-opened one of his many cuts that were still healing on his scarred back.

He really wishes he had his damn table back; it was much more comfortable than sleeping on the grungy floor. We'll screw that, he would much rather have a mattress…or Kate. Either one would make him ten thousand times more comfortable than this.

He slowly lifts himself off the ground and heads to the bathroom to clean up his cut. He wishes he had a shower or bathtub in there, because he is in much need of an actual good cleaning, unlike just trying to clean himself with tap water from the sink. He still had dried blood staining his skin from days ago, not able to get it all off. After his trip to the bathroom is over he heads back towards his room. But he notices something out of the corner of his eye, it's the TV room, and the door is cracked open just a bit letting the tiniest amount of light seep through the slice.

He peaks in there before entering. He tries the gun closet but it has been locked since the last time he was in here. He makes his way back over towards the screens. Visions fill his head about the last time he was in here, and what he saw. And it breaks his heart all over again.

He starts to play with switches hoping they had a camera at the beach, so he could just see her for a moment. Even thought she hurt him, and shattered his entire being he still needs to see her, see that she is alright.

Ben sneaks in behind him.

"We don't have any cameras there." He stops. "We like to give you all some sort of privacy."

Jacks hands rest on the table as his head falls down.

"You miss her don't you?" He asks with care and kindness in his voice. Something which he isn't use to anymore, especially when it comes to Ben.

He doesn't acknowledge him but Ben knows the answer as he watches a tear slide out from the corner of Jacks eye, landing on the equipment below tainting it a darker shade of black.

Ben sighs. Excitement building in his gut with what he is about to reveal. "Don't worry, you're sister is trying to take good care of her, even though Katherine is one of the most stubborn people we have ever come across."

Jack lets a slight chuckle escape from his lips, agreeing about how stubborn Kate is. But then he stops. "My sister?"

Ben smiles as Jacks attention is now on him. "Claire.' He says it like Jack already knew.

"What?" Jack says with complete shock.

Ben nods. "The daughter of Amy Littleton and Christian Shephard." His smile gets even broader.

Jack slinks down to the floor as his head falls in his hands.

'Nice talking with you, I will see you tomorrow." Ben smirks as he quickly exits the room. Leaving Jack lost in his thoughts.

"Sister." He says breathlessly. He soon falls asleep still in that position, pressed against the counter in the small room. And eventually tomorrow comes.

Ben is the first to enter Jacks little domain.

"I see you never left." Ben snaps waking Jack up. "Get up."

Jack does so drowsily. Thinking Ben was taking him to breakfast this morning, but Ben has other plans. He takes Jack by the arms and shoves him into the Hydra landing by the feet of the same two men who whipped him that dreaded few days ago.

Jack rolls his eyes, and before the men can lift him up and attach him to the poles he knows what is coming. The leather straps dig the cuts in his wrists deeper, and the pain from just that almost sends him into agony. But then the first blow of the whip comes and he can fell the tingling of the blood trickle down his spine, down his lower back and then drip onto his ankle, which is directly beneath his back.


It had now been two weeks since Kate and Sawyer had returned and the entire camp seems to be going insane, the rain won't stop and the only actual trained Doctor is still being held hostage or is back in the real world. None of them know which. And Sun is left to hold down the fort, being Jacks right hand man when it comes to medicine. But she knew remedies, not which medicine was which. So today when a bloodied up Ed came to her with a slashed arm, which he got slipping and tumbling ruthlessly down a hill, she had no idea what it was she was supposed to give him to stop infection.

Kate had made it her duty to become Sun's assistant, she needed some form of distraction and this somewhat helped. Except that it was her assistant with medical things, and anytime they had a question she wanted to go find Jack and ask him, but then it always dawns on her she can't because he is not there.

She was so use to him being her stability, her rock, that without him there her entire world came to a halt.

She is sitting closely next to Sun, handing her bandages as she wraps Ed's arm.

"You know the saying is true." Sun blurts out, interrupting Kate from all thoughts that were going through her head at the moment, which at the moment they were on Jack. At all moments they were on Jack.

"Which saying?" She asks coming back into reality.

Sun sees the distance in her eyes and frowns, but she continues anyways. "The one that says, you never really know what you have got until it is gone." She says with a small sad laugh.

Kate nods quickly. "Yeah…yeah it is." Right then a single tear slips from her right eye, it was the first one in almost a week and a half. And then more follow. Ed is a little freaked out but knows what it is about. Sun takes her hands off Ed and places one on Kate's shoulder, and the other on her knee.

"I….I have almost forgotten what his voice sounds like. Sometimes I am lucky enough to remember but then soon after it disappears." She says with a choked sob, Ed takes this as his cue to exit from the tent. "I'm slowly forgetting all the little details on his face. And I just can't take it. I need to remember."

"Kate…it's alright." Sun says trying to calm her down.

"NO IT'S NOT!" She yells. Sobs racking her entire body now. "He is there, so clear when I'm dreaming, perfectly fine, not a single injury. He is all there, perfect as he is. But then I wake up, and I can no longer see his face without it being distorted and blurry, or smell him around me anymore, or hear the soft tone of his soothing voice. It all just vanishes and I can't remember anything, except the fact that I saw him exactly how he is in my dreams. And I yearn to keep that picture in my mind, to smell him or feel him… but I can't and it drives me insane."

Sun takes her tightly in her arms. She doesn't say anything, knowing nothing can help. But as soon as she is holding Kate she can feel the heat radiating off her body. "Kate, how much have you been outside lately?" She asks concerned.

Kate looks down and doesn't answer.

"Kate you have a fever." Sun states feeling Kate's forehead.

"It's not a big deal." Kate says as Sun heads out the tent hurriedly.

"Um Claire?" Sun asks outside Claire's flap to her tent.

"Come on in Sun." She looks up at the Korean woman enters the tent. "What's up?"

"Um, how much has Kate been outside lately, how much has she been sleeping, and how much has she been eating?"

"Is something wrong with her?" Claire asks worriedly.

"She has a horrible fever."

"Oh dear. We'll to answer your questions she is out there almost all the time, all night. She rarely ever sleeps unless it's out of pure exhausting. And she hasn't eaten in days, but we have been trying to beg her but she just won't."

Sun sighs.

"Wonderful." Claire states as Sun exits her tent. She instantaneously spots Kate on the shoreline, in the pouring rain which has been going almost none stop for two whole weeks.


She had known Jack for almost three weeks now. And she knew when he didn't show up for all his meals for about two or three days he had been tortured. It happened frequently lately, and she hated facing him when he got back each time, knowing he must be in an awful amount of pain.

Today was no different. He could sense her timidity when he sat down next to her, skin of his arm brushing the skin of her shoulder. He watched as a small blush crept to her features. He smiled at this, some sort of emotion shown towards him that wasn't hostility or pity, it was refreshing.

He is silent for a while until he speaks. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

She looks towards him questioning.

"The scars are so rough it's hard to penetrate them."

"Oh." That's all that she felt could escape from her lips, not knowing what to say.

"It's been a month since they started, and they seem to be laying off a bit so it's almost as though I'm becoming immune."

Cindy knew that this all was a load of crap. She knew that the lashings were so often it didn't give the wounds proper time to heal and turn into scars. She could tell by his face that it was worse then ever. The thick whip hitting inside an already open wound, latching itself onto the skin that loosely hung around it, causing it to pull it off even further.

And he could tell she knew. But the kids also knew that the Others were hurting Jack, he had to keep it light at the table to keep them from getting to upset. For they had grown on him since he had gotten there. Plus there was the fact he has always wanted children for himself, and he knows he will not last much longer here with the rate they are afflicting almost constant torment on him. Mutilating his back almost every chance they can get.

Jack didn't touch his food once that day. Cindy notices and brings her hand to his. He needs this comfort more than ever now. She gives him a sad smile and he returns it. He gives her hand a tight squeeze and she can tell he is about ready to break. She admires his strength for holding it in, knowing he is for the kids.

"Jack?" The young boy asks.

"Yeah Zach?" He looks over towards him, masking the pain on his face with a small smile.

"Are you going to eat that?" Zach asks pointing towards his chicken leg on his plate.

Jack shakes his head and lifts up the plate. "No…no you can have it." He passes the young boy the plate, receiving a joy filled thank you and large smile in return. This brings an actual smile to his face seeing the joy a simple piece of food can bring this one boy, even after he has had his own large amount of food.

Just then Juliet comes over to him. "Come on Jack, I need to talk to you." She grabs his arm and forcefully lifts him up. She drags him out to the hall and into a closet.

"I'm going to your camp." She states bluntly.

"What?" He inquires.

"You heard me, I'm going."

"Why."

"Never mind that, Alex is going to try and get you out of here. She is going to try and help you escape. Take this." She hands him a small pin. "Its part a two way radio, I have the other piece and when you escape radio me and I'll help you find your way back."

"Why are you doing this?" He asks taking the small pin from her.

"Because I am not like them Jack, I'm good." She smiles slyly at him. And before he knew it she was kissing him hard. Her hands find their way up his shirt and she slowly places her fingers gently on his back, but he can't feel it. He knows she is doing it but he is completely numb to her touch. But he gives in with the kisses up until she pins him against the wall, causing pain to blast through him. He groans in pain as he pushes her away. And he hates to admit he enjoyed it up until the almost unbearable pain. But he didn't get why he pictured Kate's face in his head while it was happening. It had been so long since he had seen her but there she was, beautiful as ever. He knew even after all this time he still felt for her, a lot. But he forced himself between the flirting with two other girls and the lashing that he would let her go; he needed to for it just gave him more pain thinking of her.

But now that there was him escaping in the works her face flashed before him every time he blinked. So what does he do, he shuts his eyes, taking her in.

But he knew he shouldn't get his hopes up, she was with Sawyer, she had chosen Sawyer. How could he even look at her the same knowing that redneck's hands have been all over her, touching her, feeling her. It was too much to bear. It made his stomach lurch as he felt his insides ready to make their way up through his throat and until Juliet.

He just had to let go, even if he got back. He thought he could never look at her the same again. And he couldn't stand that. This was going to be so damn hard. That is if he actually escapes. If she is just not yanking his chain.

"I don't believe you." Jack states.

"It's a leap of faith Jack. Have faith in me, in this."

"You sound like Locke." Jack huffs.

"Well Locke is a man of Faith, you know that."

"Well then it's too bad I'm a man of science. I have no faith."

"There is a way to be both." And with that Juliet grabs his arm once more leading him back into the mess-hall. She disappears soon after waving to him before she walks out the door.