Alternate
Harry looked at the man who was now about forty, but still had the long black hair, the ice blue, bright eyes that could take your breath away and the same bright smile. He may be older, but he was still the man in this letter. "Sirius…"
Don't know how you met me
You don't know why…
Sirius gave Harry a funny look. He knew that tone of voice. He did must have done something. "Okay, Harry, what did I do?" Sirius asked as he walked in and sat on the bed next to Harry. Harry continued to just look at him. It was kind of distressing. Sirius leaned closer to place a kiss on Harry's cheek, but he moved away. "What's that matter Harry?" he asked concernedly. He never did that before.
Harry continued to look at him. "Sirius, did you and my father have a…thing?"
Sirius' eyes went wide. "Why? What brought that question on?" He asked with a small laugh.
Harry shoved the letter at Sirius. Sirius took it and started to read it over…all except the last page. Harry watched as Sirius' face took on different emotions. The one that broke Harry's heart though was the look of pure love and loss on his face.
When Sirius was done, he looked up at Harry. "Harry…"
"You have a thing for Potter men, don't you…?" Harry asked bitterly. If he had known about his godfather's and father's relationship, he may have had a different opinion about his relationship with godfather.
"Harry, I love you both."
"Yeah, in what kind of way do you love me Sirius? In the kind that I look like my father? The kind that you're replacing him with me?" He had been hoping that Sirius would deny all this…say that this was just something stupid, that he could never have loved his father in that way…done that to his mother…to him…
You can't turn around and say goodbye
All you know is when I'm with you
I make you free…
"Harry…" Sirius said softly as he leaned closer, reaching out to him. Harry back away off the bed.
"No, Sirius, don't touch me…you'll make me forget I was mad at you…" Harry said. He hated this. He just read all that crap and he still felt like he would give in to Sirius. He shouldn't want to…
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singin'…
"Harry…I love you." Sirius said, standing up on the other side of the bed. They stood on opposite sides, looking at each other. "I really do love you."
"How can I know you're not lying?" Harry asked sharply. "It's not like you were forthcoming about you and my father. What else have you been lying to me about? You slept with Remus? Ron? Snape? What am I, just a replacement?"
Sirius shook his head. "I've never slept with any of them. Only you…"
"And my father…"
Follow me, everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm singin'…
Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry I never told you about him Harry. I truly am." He looked up into the angry green eyes of his lover.
"Would you have ever told me about him?" Harry asked angrily. He was shaking. This was worse then fighting Voldemort. In that fight, it was only his life that was on the line. Now it was his life…his heart…his soul…he wasn't sure if could make it through this with any of his vital organs intact.
When Sirius didn't answer right away, he looked up to see him looking on the floor. That was all the answer he needed. "Why…"
Follow me, everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me
I'm singin'…
"Why what Harry?" Sirius asked softly. This wasn't going as he planned. He was actually hoping that this fight would never happen. He didn't think Harry would find out. He was sure he would've told him eventually, but it's not exactly something you bring up.
"You know what why Black." Harry snapped. Sirius looked at him sadly and Harry felt his heart break a little more. "I would've understood…"
'Maybe…' he thought.
"Would you have really Harry?" Sirius asked bitterly. Harry was taken aback. "If I had told you, would you mean it when you said it was alright? Would you have been able to look at me without wondering if I was just using you? You wouldn't have wondered every time I kissed you, if I was really kissing you or trying to get to your father in some way? Ever time said 'I love you', you wouldn't have a little doubt somewhere in your mind that it actually wasn't for you? Can you tell me you would have treated me the same?"
Follow me, everything is alright…
Harry shook his head. "No." he said softly.
Sirius just smiled bitterly. "I know."
Harry clenched his hands into fist and closed his eyes shut as tears started to flow freely down his face. "But it would've been better then getting this from my dead father. Maybe I could've eventually gotten over it. I could've started to trust you again. But Sirius…" He looked up to see that Sirius was having the same predicament as him. His eyes were overflowing with tears, streaking down his face a leaving a shimmering trail behind. "I don't know if I can now…"
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night…
"Harry…" Sirius walked around and stood in front of Harry. He softly put his hand on Harry cheek, and he didn't flinch away this time. "I'm so sorry…I never wanted to hurt you…" He leaned down and kissed him briefly on the lips. He pulled away and looked at Harry. "Please forgive me."
Harry half smiled and placed a hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry Sirius." He leaned up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He pulled away and started walking away. He got to the door and placed his hand on the door knob. He turned and looked at Sirius, feeling the rest of his heart shatter. "I don't think that I can…"
And if you want to leave I can guarantee…
With that, Harry walked out and closed the door softly on the man that stole his heart with his smile and broke it with the same smile…
You won't find nobody else like me…
