Okay, this idea popped into my head randomly the other day, and seeing how stressed out I am, I decided the best way to diffuse that stress is to use up what little time I have doing something I love: wasting it! Time, that is. Anyways, I tend to get really hyper and weird when I'm under stress, or snarky, but today, I'm just weird, and I HAD to write something for Valentine's Day that had nothing to do with two characters falling in love and getting together as they always fall in love and get together. I wanted to be different, but God knows this idea isn't original. I also am considering just leaving it up for a short time, a LIMITED EDITION fic! Lol, can I do that? As I said, weird...Anyways, I'm enjoying playing with this idea, so I hope you enjoy reading it. And in the words of Max Bialystock from The Producers, "If you think it stinks, keep your big mouth shut!" Just kidding, I welcome critiques, as long as they're CRITIQUES.
Chapter 1
Two tabby cats rested on top of a brick wall. That is, one rested, while the other was simply restless. And it was all the queen, Rumpelteazer, could do to get the attention of her partner in crime. She waved her tail back and forth, but he paid no attention. She made soft little mewing sounds, as a kitten does when they find something interesting, but he continued on with his eyes closed. She rolled on her side, her paws sticking out, just grazing against his fur, but he simply shifted his body weight away from her. Finally, she crouched low, ready to pounce Mungojerrie, but when she heard her partner in crime "merr" in discontent, she reconsidered it. He didn't even have his eyes open…how did he see her?
But the young queen wouldn't have her plans of trying to have fun thwarted. She came up to the lazing cat, bit softly onto his ear and pulled. Mungojerrie swatted at the queen in irritation, opening one eye to address her. "What?" he grunted.
"Jerrie," she whined, pouting to the tom. "I have something wrong with me."
Mungojerrie instantly got up and looked at the queen with concern. "What's wrong, Teaze?"
"I have a case of…" she paused for dramatic emphasis. "…ennui."
Mungojerrie's eyes went wide. "That sounds serious."
"Nah, it just means I'm bored." She grinned.
Mungojerrie's concern turned sour as he whacked the queen upside the head with his paw. "Well, I hope making me sound like an idiot was worth getting rid of your boredom."
"Ennui," she corrected.
"Whatever."
"But it didn't, Jerr'!" She said with a hint of desperation in her voice. "It didn't get rid of the ennui! And now that you know I have ennui, you can't just let me sit here, stewing in my ennui. You can't! Imagine what the other cats would say! You have to help me get rid of it!"
Mungojerrie's attention went to something else, and Rumpelteazer's eye followed. A tom cat was walking towards them. A cat who had an air of intimidation, with fur streaked with red that screamed of the victims of his past. His sunken in eyes and highly domed head made him intimidating (or comical, depending on the head imagining it.) And as he jumped up onto the wall and sat by the two cats, silence followed.
Then…
Rumpelteazer tugged on his non-existent ear. "Macavity," she whined. "I'm bored!"
"Teazer!" Mungojerrie yelped, as the ginger cat didn't bother to move. "You don't just crawl all over the Napoleon of crime like that!"
"Oh, he doesn't mind," Rumpelteazer said, as she was practically sprawled over the unnervingly calm tom cat. "Do you, Macavity?"
Macavity looked over to the queen with half closed eyes. "You do realize how dangerous boredom can be to a cat…don't you?" The queen stared at the tom, before slowly getting off and backing away towards Mungojerrie. "Good girl," he said half-heartedly. He then stretched lazily, before turning his attention to the two cats.
"Why don't you just think of something to do?"
"Well, if I could do that," Rumpelteazer rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't be bored!"
"Maybe," Mungojerrie suggested timidly, "You could help her out?"
Macavity shrugged his shoulders. "Do you think if I could think of something to do, I would be here with you two?"
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer exchanged glances, before smirking to themselves. They sat quietly, waiting for something to happen. Secretly, they hoped for something earth-shattering, mind-boggling, and dripping with excitement to come along; like a comet landing right in front of them, chockfull of crevices to explore, or a visitor from another planet.
But instead, they got an everyday, normal visitor. A red queen was walking up towards the three, as they sat in their respective spots on the wall. "What…are you three doing here? Together?" She looked suspiciously up to each cat.
Mungojerrie looked down to the queen. "We're bored, Bomba."
"We've been struck with ennui," Rumpelteazer explained with a whine.
Macavity simply twitched his tail.
"Oh," Bombalurina said, shrugging. "Well...you two can continue being bored or something. Macavity, there's a queen who wants to talk to you."
"I would rather die of boredom than have to talk to Griddlebone again," said the ginger tom dryly, his ears falling back against his head at the thought.
"No, not her. Some gold queen. Says her name is Demeter."
Macavity jumped to his feet uncharacteristically quick, causing the other cats near him to jump out of the way. The ginger tom cleared his throat, as even he didn't expect that reaction from himself. "I'll go meet with her in a moment. Go tell her that I'm coming and keep her company."
Bombalurina grinned knowingly at the tom. "Sure."
"And Bombalurina." The queen stopped, as she was about to walk off. "Never give me that look again." The grin on her face was wiped off immediately as she turned and went on her way, more hurriedly than before.
As soon as the queen was out of earshot, the tom turned to the tabbies behind him. Instinctively, they cowered at the sudden movements of the superior cat, but upon seeing the mischievous grin on his face, they couldn't help but be curious about what he had to say.
"I think I've thought of an assignment I can give you…"
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Demeter looked about her surroundings, her amber eyes wide in amazement and fear. She was hardly familiar with this territory, and didn't much appreciate plunging into the unknown. She wasn't accustomed to tall buildings closing in on her from three directions, and the thought of there being only one way out made the fur on the back of her neck rise. But the chance to work beside the legendary Macavity was too great an opportunity to pass up.
Bombalurina looked the queen over, before letting out a small laugh. Demeter gave her a questioning look. "It's nothing," Bombalurina said.
"Well, it had to be something," Demeter reasoned. "It was enough to make you laugh."
"You just seem so eager, is all."
Demeter's fur puffed out. "Why shouldn't I be?"
"Because you're dealing with Macavity."
The young queen lifted her head high, though her ears seemed to fall back against her head. "I can handle him."
Bombalurina simply shrugged at the younger queen's comment, before looking out to the opening of the alleyway. Then she stiffened in attention. "Alright, here he comes," she announced, not taking her eyes off the tom.
Demeter tried her best not to look too terrified as the cat she had only had one encounter with walked with a deliberate air towards them. The little queen stepped forward, determined to make a good impression. The tom approached her, and Demeter opened her mouth to deliver her prepared speech, "My--"
"Don't speak unless spoken to," he said sternly, causing the queen to shrink in size almost instantly. "Stand up straight. No, straight. That means your back has to be straight, not just lifting your head higher. Ears up…I won't hurt you, kitten. And what is that around your neck, a collar? What is it with house cats wanting to work for me?" He looked over to Bombalurina, who had a similar collar around her neck. The queen gave a smug smile, and shrugged nonchalantly. She seemed to have relaxed quite suddenly at seeing Demeter's tension.
He turned his attention back to Demeter, who had once again shrunk down in size. She had begun fiddling with her paws. "What is it that she's doing?" he asked.
Bombalurina tapped Demeter on the shoulder, causing her to jump slightly. The gold queen moved enough so the red queen could see. "It's just a nervous habit, looks like," informed the red queen. "Not that you would know anything about being nervous…"
"She seems very unstable," Macavity surmised. "Like she just might jump out of her fur, given the chance. Tell me, kitten, are you unstable?"
Realizing she was being spoken to, Demeter dug deep to find her voice, but came up with only a squeaky mew.
"Very flighty," he said with a tone of finality to Bombalurina. "No good use to me."
"Oh, no!" Demeter said, realizing she was missing her chance. "I-I-I-I'm really not unstable! I'm just a little nervous, is all!"
Macavity looked over to Bombalurina, unimpressed. The red queen could feel the fur on the back of her neck rise. "Um," she said, turning her attention to the gold queen. "Why are you nervous, then?"
"Well, I…don't usually hang around cats. I wasn't really let out of the house until after I turned one."
"How old are you now?"
"One and a half," she said simply.
There was silence.
Again, Macavity looked over to Bombalurina, a slightly bemused expression on his face. He then stepped close to Demeter, who did everything in her power not to take a step back. "Listen, kitten," he said. "The only thing you have going for you is your looks, which are hard to appreciate with your fur standing on end like that. What we do is not for the light of heart. Maybe you would be better joining those…what are they called again?"
"The Jellicles," Bombalurina said.
"Who-who are the Jellicles?"
Bombalurina leaned close to Demeter. "A bunch of boring cats. It's better being with Macavity, anyway."
Demeter frowned, looking to Macavity. "I'm not boring. And I'm not light of heart! The other day, I caught a rat as big as I was!"
"Aw, she's so cute, Macavity," Bombalurina gushed. "She caught a rat as big as she was!"
"I've stifled Pekes with nothing more than the glare from my eyes," Macavity said menacingly.
Demeter's eyes darted back and forth between those of the Napoleon of Crime. "…but you didn't catch it, did you?"
Macavity's eyes widened. There was tension in the air. The ginger tail twitched, as Demeter began wringing her paws again. But the nervous spell that fell over them dissipated at the sound of chortling from the red queen. Both cats looked to her.
"I'm sorry, Macavity," Bombalurina said, smiling. "But she's got you there."
Macavity's eyes narrowed slightly as he looked back at Demeter. "I see," he said. "If you're just so brave, I have a little test I want you to go through."
"Oh," Demeter nodded. "Okay, that makes sense."
Macavity raised his paw, and for a moment, Bombalurina looked as though she were going to stop the tom from whacking the queen. But when she saw a small vial suspended on a red thread that dangled from his paws, the queen visibly calmed. "Among all the things we do, one of them involves thieves. As in, we have a lot of them, and a lot of them try to steal from us.
"This little bottle is in very high demand. The contents inside would be prized by any cat. Don't bat at it," he said sternly as she lifted the vial out of the queen's general batting area. Her kittenish side revealed, she blushed at the reprimanding look she received from Bombalurina.
"Your job," continued the tom, "is to protect it for a week, and only a week. Come back to me at the end of the week with the vial in your paws and completely intact, and I will let you join us."
"Oh!" Demeter opened her paws, waiting to accept the vial. Macavity let the vial linger over her paws before dropping it into them. She looked at it with wide eyes in wonderment. Then she felt her chin being risen up to meet his gaze.
"Don't play with it," he said menacingly.
"Yes, sir."
Then the phantom of a smirk came across his face. "She is kind of cute, isn't she, Bombalurina?"
"Whatever you say, Macavity," Bombalurina said, leaning against a wall. Demeter shifted uncomfortably.
"Shame," he said. "What I'd have to do to her if she lost this vial…" Without a moment to react, Macavity turned and walked away, not bothering to look back at the queen, disappearing in the distance.
Demeter watched where the tom had vanished, her ears back, her tail tucked under. She jumped when she again felt a paw on her shoulder. The red queen was smiling kindly to her.
"I wouldn't worry too much about him," she said. "I've never seen that vial before in my life, and frankly, I doubt he even cares about what's inside it. He just wants to scare you."
Demeter relaxed a little. "Oh, good." The red queen patted the other on the back before turning and going about her business, leaving Demeter alone with her thoughts and one seemingly important vial. She lifted it up to eyelevel and squinted at the liquid substance inside. It clung to the sides of its container no matter how she turned it, oozing into place where gravity lured it. She shook it lightly, small bubbles forming, taking up any free space it could find. Shrugging, she was about to put it around her neck when…
A giggling sound. A yanking sensation. And the next thing Demeter saw were two orange tabbies racing away from her. The vial trailing behind them!
Demeter's mouth dropped. "No!" She chased after the two, but to no avail. They knew the territory far better than she did, and before she could begin to get her bearings, the two had slipped into some hiding place or other, vial and all.
The gold queen looked around helpless for anything that could help her, but she was again alone in the new territory. She sat down on the curb, holding back tears at having already failed her mission, and worrying about what horrors Macavity would bring upon her when he found out.
