A/N: Soooooo tired. Nothing but STUDYING this past week! So if there are grammatical errors in this, please forgive me, or warn me of any embarrassing ones. Though I've proofread again and again, it's just no substitute for a sound, non-studied-out mind. Oh, and this was supposed to be out A LOT sooner...ah, well...real life and all...


Chapter 2

Rumpelteazer found herself swinging the vial like a pendulum, hypnotizing herself with it, while Mungojerrie looked off into the distance, deep in thought. She enjoyed watching it, her eyes following the vial's trail carefully, before realizing that her tail was tapping in the same rhythmic beating as the swinging of the vial. But, of course, once she realized this, her tail went out of sync with the vial's movements, and in a moment of panic, she began trying to again get the vial and her tail moving in conjunction with each other again by any means possible. By the time she found herself violently swinging the vial back and forth, and her tail beating frantically, she thought it was best to give up that endeavor, and instead used the vial to whack Mungojerrie on the head.

"OW!" he said, rubbing his head. "What the hell was that for?"

"What? It's the vial!" She said, throwing it down as though she were burnt by it and pointing at it in fear. "It MADE me do it!"

"Don't go tossin' that around, Teazer!" Mungojerrie quickly scooped the vial back up and held it close. "We have an assignment to do with it! How do you think Macavity would feel if we couldn't do that because the vial broke?"

"Bored, again?" Rumpelteazer shrugged.

"First of all, bored is not a feeling…it's a state of being. And secondly, I'm sure that wasn't the reason he gave us this assignment," Mungojerrie said noncommittally.

"Alright, oh Einstein of all kits, why did he give us this assignment?"

"Because," Mungojerrie reasoned, sitting up straight. "We've proved ourselves as the greatest thieves he's ever known. Now he wants us to prove that we can con as good as any of his cats!"

Rumpelteazer frowned. "You just repeated what he told us! That's not the real reason!"

"Well, what does it matter?" Mungojerrie asked, significantly deflating after giving his self righteous speech. "Now we have to pawn off this stupid bottle as though it were just that important, anyways. So why don't you stop playin' with it and help me try and figure out how to go about doing that?!"

Rumpelteazer made a face. "Well, someone's been bitten by too many fleas lately." She made a point of letting out a long sigh before laying back down, watching the horizon. Mungojerrie seemed to be lost in thought again. The young queen looked off into the distance when she realized there was a cat she knew.

The queen turned to her male counterpart and nudged him with her paw. "Hey, Jerrie…isn't that Alonzo?" The tom's eyes shot open, catching sight of the black and gold cat as he walked hurriedly to what the two burglars could only guess to be the junkyard.

"Huh!" Mungojerrie smiled. "I haven't seen him since…well, since he joined those damn Jellicles."

"Yeah," Rumpelteazer agreed, her mind wandering to a thought that led to another, that led to another, and led to – "OF COURSE!" She shot up in her spot and beamed a smile so shiny at Mungojerrie, he had to look away. "It's so stupid of us! Macavity told us to go and try and convince someone to take this vial off our paws. Who better to try and do that with than the Jellicles?"

"They're boring, Teaze," he said, "Not stupid."

"I'm not saying they're stupid," Rumpelteazer said haughtily. "But we have to be just that good! And think of the bonus points we'd get with Macavity for duping a Jellicle!" Mungojerrie's ears lifted in attention towards Rumpelteazer as he considered her proposal. Then, he smiled.

-----

Admetus sat by himself, grooming, when two orange cats ran up to him, shocking him into inhaling a fur ball. "'Ello, there!" Mungojerrie said in his most chipper of voices.

"How nice to meet you on this loverly day," Rumpelteazer said, coming up to his other side.

The tom put his paws to his throat, trying to cough, but nothing coming out.

"We were just wondering," Mungojerrie continued, "If you had any use for this little bottle of Holy Water. It keeps monsters at bay, from vampires to giant cockroaches!"

Rumpelteazer nodded. "Those can be a big problem for cats. Some would think they just need employment to settle down, but we say otherwise. The cockroaches, not the vampires…" The two looked at the tom, who seemed to be struggling, his paw on wrapped around his throat. "Um…are you okay?"

"Sure, he is!" Mungojerrie said, clapping the tom hard on his back. Admetus let out a sudden loud cough, and out came a fur ball. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer stared, before exchanging a look, and the tom of the pair let out an, "ew…"

Admetus gasped for air, the two looking at him, more bemused than concerned. He then turned to the two, frowning. "What are you two trying to do?!" he screamed. "Kill me?"

"No," Rumpelteazer said. "We're trying to protect you."

Admetus opened his mouth to say something, but seemed at a loss for words.

"So…" Mungojerrie said. "Are you inter--"

"NO!" Admetus picked himself up and walked off, making sounds of clearing his throat, as he tried to recover from his near death experience.

Rumpelteazer stared after him. "Sheesh, you cough up one little hairball, and the world if suddenly your enemy…" Mungojerrie nodded in agreement.

-----

Mungojerrie spotted a tom in the distance. Without a moment's hesitation, he raced up to this cat. He had never seen him before, but he was thin, and hardly seemed like a threat. He did, however, have a look of supreme knowing that made Mungojerrie reconsider for only a moment. The tom looked the tiger tabby over, before Mungojerrie greeted him with a toothy smile.

"Well, hello there, ol' chap," said the tabby.

"Who are you?" asked the tom flatly.

"I'm glad you asked that," Mungojerrie said. "My name is Mungojerrie. And you, good tom?"

"Coricopat."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Coricopat. Are you going to be happy you met me! It just so happens that today, I have on me a wonderful elixir in this tiny vial."

"Is that so," said the tom blandly.

"That's right! With this wonderful little elixir, that you only have to drink once, you could add years to your life."

"Look, Mister…"

"Mungojerrie."

"Mungojerrie," said Coricopat, as though it pained him to say the tom's name. "This isn't--"

At that moment, Rumpelteazer walked by, with an exaggerated gate, and stopped dead, looking at the vial, and gasping melodramatically. In a wooden voice, she said, "Is that what I think it is? One of those elixirs that give you everlasting life?"

Mungojerrie's smile faltered for a moment. "Um, that's not really…yes. YES! This is JUST that elixir."

"Well," Rumpelteazer said. "I'd do anything to get my paws on that!"

"Oh, I would give it to you, little queen," Mungojerrie said, before looking over to Coricopat. "But this tom had inquiries about it first."

Coricopat had a blank look on his face. After a moment of silence, he asked, "Are you kidding?" The partners weren't sure how to answer that. "I don't know what you two are planning, trying to get me to take whatever is in that vial, but the next time you try to con someone, don't pretend like you're strangers when you have the same fur color and collar." With that, Coricopat shook his head, and headed off to any location that didn't involve orange tabbies.

Rumpelteazer growled lowly. "Hey, I'll have you know, orange tabbies are VERY common," she yelled after the tom, who paid no attention to her. "We happen to have no relation!!"

The queen looked over to the tom, expecting to share in his annoyance at the targeted tom, but instead was met with an annoyed glare. "What?"

"Everlasting life?!" Mungojerrie asked. "It's an elixir to add years to your life! Weren't you listening when I went over the con with you?! And what the hell was that entrance? Could you be any more obvious?"

"Hey," Rumpelteazer said, "I'm new at this, okay? And you took on a completely different persona! Just be yourself! Then you don't have to worry about keeping up that voice you got."

"What voice?"

"You had a voice! It was like you were speaking in sleaze."

"I did NOT have a voice!" The two cats continued to argue amongst themselves in the middle of a territory that wasn't theirs, attracting some attention. After a few words were thrown at each other, Mungojerrie huffed. "Well, maybe if I didn't have to carry you all the time—oh!"

Both cats looked over to three tiny little kittens, nothing more than balls of fluff with big eyes the better to stare at them with. Rumpelteazer cooed at the sight of them, as she hadn't seen a kitten since she was one. Mungojerrie cocked his head to the side, unsure what to make of them.

"Hewwo," said one of the kittens, a small tom with a patch over his eye.

"Hi!" Rumpelteazer squeaked. "And what's your name?"

"Tum'bwutus."

"Tum'bwutus?" Mungojerrie asked. "I don't think he's got a hang of his name yet. Pick one with an easier name." Rumpelteazer jabbed the tiger tom in the ribs.

"And your name?" she asked a little calico kitten.

"Ets-etwa," said the little queen, crawling forward to answer the question.

"Two strikes," Mungojerrie said. Rumpeleteazer frowned at the tom.

"And you?" she asked the last tom kitten, who seemed older than the other two kittens.

"Plato," said the tomlette.

"Aha, a name we can work with," Mungojerrie said triumphantly. "Hey, Plato. How are you?"

"Okay…"

"Listen…how would you like to have a vial to play with?"

"Jerrie!" Rumpelteazer put her paws on her hips. "He's just a kitten!"

"All the easier to pawn it off on him," Mungojerrie said. "So, what do you say, kit? Do you want the vial?"

"Um…"

"Take it or leave it, kit."

"MAMA!" The little kitten called, and the other two began to call for their mother as well.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Rumpelteazer said, grabbing Mungojerrie's paw and dragging him behind her.

------

Mungojerrie seemed to be scowling quite a lot, which made Rumpelteazer want to chuckle. She held it back, though, as she knew this was their reputation on the line. Still, it was funny to see her comrade in arms so upset over the inability to talk someone into taking a vial of liquid. After a few moments, she decided maybe it was best to try and comfort him.

"There, there," Rumpelteazer said, patting him on the back.

"Thanks," he said bitterly.

"Well, what are we going to do, then? We have to think of something…"

Mungojerrie looked to his comrade, then out to the junkyard. There had to be someone there desperate enough for something to be able to convince them that they had exactly what they needed.

Then he heard Rumpelteazer giggling. Mungojerrie turned his scowl at her. She pointed to two cats, oblivious that the partners in crime were watching. A cat they vaguely recognized to be Mistoffelees, renowned for some reason or other in Macavity's tribe, was peering around a corner. He then ducked behind a rocking chair as a sleek looking Abyssinian queen went walking past. After the queen had passed, the tom peeked back out, smiling bashfully at the sight of the queen.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer smiled to one another. "Okay," Mungojerrie said. "But how do we get to him?"

"Just follow me," Rumpelteazer smiled thoughtfully, before racing over a junk pile and squinting over the residents of the junkyard. "Oh, there he is, there he is! Hey! Alonzo! Long time no see!!!"

-----

"A love potion?" Alonzo asked, staring at the two tabbies in amusement. "I don't think he'd much appreciate the insinuation."

"Alonzo," Rumpelteazer said, batting her eyes. "We've seen him with that queen of his. He needs something to boost his confidence." The Rum Tum Tugger - who was sitting nearby when the queen and tom came up and reintroduced themselves to their kittenhood friend - laughed to himself.

"That's true," Tugger said, grabbing the vial from the queen's paws. "So, what is this? It looks like some weird…I don't know, like what those humans have. Medicine?"

"Perish the thought," Mungojerrie said in a posh voice. He grabbed the vial back from the Rum Tum Tugger, who sneered at him. "This is a bona-fide potion! What, you think thieves don't come across a magical trinket or two?"

"Magical," Alonzo said, laughing under his breath. "Yeah, right." He then spun on his heels and raced off.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer frowned in unison. "Well," Rumpelteazer huffed. "That was rude."

"Ah, don't take it personal," the Rum Tum Tugger said, waving his paw. "He'll be back in two seconds, I'm sure. He tends to do that in middle of conversations without excusing himself first, if he needs to get somethi-- Oh, here he comes."

Alonzo came racing back up, dragging a small black and white cat behind him. Within two seconds, Mistoffelees was face to face with Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer. The two stared at the tuxedoed tom; the tuxedoed tom stared in return. "Misto," Alonzo said proudly, pointing to the two. "This is Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer. Mungo, Rumpel; Mistoffelees."

Rumpelteazer smiled widely and waved to the tom not a foot away from her. Mungojerrie just smiled awkwardly. Mistoffelees gave a shy grin back, then looked to his two fellow Jellicles. "Um," he said in a hushed voice, "Why did you bring me here?"

"He's shy," Tugger explained to the two cats. "That's why he can't get a queen."

Mistoffelees' eyes went wide, before looking to Rumpelteazer. "Um, I'm sure you're very nice and everything, but--"

"No, not her!" Mungojerrie said, standing between the tom and the queen. Rumpelteazer just giggled to herself.

"They have a plan to help you with Cassandra," Alonzo explained.

"Oh," Mistoffelees said dumbly, blushing under his fur.

"See," Tugger said, swiping the vial from Mungojerrie, "They claim that this here is a love potion. And they want to give it to you, oh Magical Mr. Mistoffelees, to help you with Cassandra."

"Magical?!" Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer said in unison, their eyes going wide. They exchanged a worried glace, ready to bolt out of the junkyard at a moments notice, perhaps to come back later for the vial. Oh, dear, they were going to be found out for sure…

"A love potion?" Mistoffelees asked, his face blank.

Silence, as the tom stared at the vial. Then…

"These things are rare!" He grabbed the vial. The two tiger tabbies breathed out in unison.

Alonzo looked pleasantly surprised, and the Rum Tum Tugger broke out into a smile. "So these things are real?" Tugger asked.

"Oh, yeah," Mistoffelees said. "I read about them in a magic book -- well, you didn't hear that from me, those things don't exist. And if the twins heard I said that, they'll kill me – but yeah, these things aren't easy to make! There's so little of it... I guess that would make sense, since you have to treat love with care, you know, since there's so—um." He blushed before getting a silly grin on his face. "Um…what would it take if I said I wanted this?"

"Oh, we're not--" Rumpelteazer began to say, but Mungojerrie cut her off.

"The left pair of three socks from each of your owner's."

Rumpelteazer looked at him questioningly. "For my collection," he whispered to the queen.

"Oh."

"I could do that," Mistoffelees said.

"Hey, wait a minute," Tugger frowned. "What makes you think I need this?"

"Shh, quiet, Tugger," the gold and black tom said. "So you're saying this could work on anyone? Like he said, there's not a lot of it…"

"It's…uh…" Mungojerrie began.

"Concentrated," Rumpelteazer finished. "Enough for the whole junkyard if used sparingly. Which is how it should be used…sparingly."

Alonzo smiled to himself. The Rum Tum Tugger rolled his eyes and just began to walk away. The gold and black cat waved away the tom as though to say 'good riddance', then turned back to the tiger tabbies. "It's not that we need this or anything, right Misto? M-misto? Where did he go?"

Mistoffelees came sprinting up a junk pile, then down again, a bag in his paws. "Okay," he said, slightly out of breath. "I have some socks from my owner, and some from yours, Alonzo…some from Tugger, just in case he comes around. I even grabbed some from Munkustrap, Skimbleshanks, Jennyanydots, Uncle Bustober--"

Mungojerrie smiled broadly at the additions to his collection.