Confessions

A confession needs an open mind to be fully understood - Author Unknown

Tala bowed his head and thought about how hard listening to his story was for an innocent like Kenny. He thought about how easy it was to seduce such a succulent being into his bed each night when they both knew that the brunette had his own. The house was quiet as he sat there and indulged himself in thoughts that were and still plagued his mind since the arrival of his wonderfully talented angel. The grandfather clock in the upstairs hallway ticked away the time and then its loud gong told the red head that it was now midnight. He looked down into the half empty glass of wine and got up. Memories of a time when the wine was used as a means to get him to do Boris' bidding in the middle of the night flooded through his mind and anger gripped him tightly causing him to lose it as he threw the glass against the wall.

Upstairs, Kenny listened to the sound of the shattering glass and jumped slightly. For three days straight he could not get the other man to tell him what was on his mind. He had let him be for a while, but when night came it was as if someone had brought out the 'Mr. Hyde' side as the older smashed glass after glass against the rec room wall. The anger that Tala felt was his alone, but he really didn't have to do it on his own. No one in his situation ever really made it on their own in life. Suddenly, the bedroom door opened and Kenny half expected to see a staggering drunk man make his way to bed. That was not the way of things this time around and Kenny feared the worst when Tala walked calmly in and grabbed the brunette by the arm. The sheer force of Tala's grip threatened to knock the younger unconscious as he was held against the wall if the other man had not realized his own fear in the eyes of another.

"T-Tala…" Kenny sobbed lightly trying to release himself from the other's deadly grip. The lightning storm that raged outside sent a flash of lightning that reflected in the red heads eyes. In an instant, the brunette was dropped in a gasping heap to the carpeted floor as Tala grabbed hold of his own head and fell to his knees. Kenny realized that the man was reliving something from his past- something he had wanted to do to the person responsible for the hate in the red heads heart that claimed him every night since Friday was being reflected in his day to day life. Taking the man into his arms he sat there and held the broken Russian until the tremors stopped completely.

Tala's fingers grabbed onto the angel that held him; not wanting to let go of the one who cared whether or not that he lived in this world or the next. He didn't want to open his eyes and see that he'd been dreaming the entire time. That this was another one of his spaced out nightmares that Brian would wake him from come morning- if morning ever came, that is. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll never do it again; I promise I won't do it again. I'll be good, I promise."

Kenny felt his tears fall freely from his eyes as he held the broken man knowing fully that he wasn't talking to him, but to someone from the past. The shadow of a man who haunted the boys since their early days in the abbey was still nagging at the back of his beloved's mind creating a pain that should never have been inflicted upon him to being with. "Tala, my sweet, beautiful Tala. Please don't cry, Tala? Please don't be sorry; I know you didn't mean what you did. I know you were just a boy. But you are so much more to me than you were to him, Tala. You know that I love you and I will always love you no matter what you do to me."

"K-Kenny?" Tala questioned as he fully recovered his mentality from his bout with sanity. His grip tightened as he realized what he'd done and why the brunette was holding him on for what seemed to be dear life. "I- I hurt you. Why would you say those things after I hurt you like that? I could have killed you, and yet you confess your feelings to me as if it never happened. Why?"

"Because I understand; it takes a strong person with an even stronger heart and soul to tell what you put up with to someone else. That's like jumping from Hell to high water; you never know what the outcome will hold for you."

"Kenny…" Tala said as he pulled the brunette into a kiss that was flooded with passion unrestricted. Pushing the younger down on the carpet, he held him there in a heated kiss not wanting to let go of the pure bliss that ran rampant in the back of his mind. Something told the older man to stop what he was doing. To think about the outcome and what it could do to the other if he continued, but the moans coming from the back of Kenny's throat drowned out those subconscious thoughts and made them disappear. Letting his hands wander over the lithe body he felt Kenny shudder and stopped to look into those sapphire eyes that held fear for the second time that night. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." Tala whispered softly.

As Tala got up to leave the room, the nimble brunette grabbed his arm and pulled him down beside him on the floor. "Don't go. Don't leave me here alone; not after that." Not understanding him in the least, Tala complied with Kenny's wishes and remained there beside him until one of them spoke. Kenny stared at the ceiling counting the tiles and Tala watched the clock tick away the minutes. How long they had actually been there since either spoke a word was anyone's speculation. Was it one hour or two? Did either of them actually notice?

Suddenly, Tala understood the reason for the second bout of fear in Kenny's eyes and asked the question that was on the tip of his tongue for what seemed to be the whole time they had been there consumed by their own thoughts. "Tell me the real reason you cried that night, Kenny. Was it really my story being too much for you? Or was there something you were hiding the entire time from everyone around you?" Kenny winced at the red heads choice of words. They sounded akin to his words from previous conversations, yet they held more power now than ever before. Tala dragged the other into his embrace and held him close to his heart with one hand keeping the soft brown trundles in place and the other pressed against Kenny's back. "Did you think that I would hurt you again? I need to know, Kenny, what really goes on behind your blue eyes."

Kenny shuddered again as he broke into a flood of tears and he knew that he could no longer hide what Fate had done to him so many years ago. "It was both, Tala; your story and something that happened to me when I was a child. I tried to hide it from everyone around me, but you saw pass it didn't you?"

"Oh, my sweet, yet shattered angel. Whatever shall I do with you?" Tala whispered. "You who brought the light back into my eyes and filled my heart again with love and adoration. You, who Fate sent to me to be my keeper and friend while I was left in darkness by others, you who listens to my every word and clings to them as if each was as precious as the last."

"Please, Tala, don't mock me. Please, don't."

"Mock you?" Tala repeated. "You think that I'm mocking you? Why can't you see that I'm confessing to you how I feel? You don't see how your smile lights up a dull room. You don't see how everyone adores your opinion and friendship. You can't even see that I'm still here because of you, because you chose to listen to me complain and glower about my past. It was you who took that interest when you got here. It was you who put up with my bull shit tonight and it's you that my heart belongs to forever and always." Tala lifted Kenny's chin with the crook of his forefinger and used his thumb to brush the tears out of his angel's eyes. "You have to tell me what happened, Kenny. I don't like seeing an angel cry."

"Like you, when I was little I was robbed of my innocence, but I never told anyone anything about it until now." Kenny sighed. He rested his head on Tala's chest and took hold of a fistful of the muscle shirt that the other was wearing. "I was at daycare when it happened and all the other children were gone home with the other caretakers leaving me with the only other one there. His name was Victor Fox and he was a kind looking man until I found that looks really were deceiving. When the other workers left to bring the kids back to their parents, he took me into his office and sat me down to wait there for my parents to pick me up like they said they would."

Kenny clung tighter to Tala, his form beginning to shake at the old memories arising in his mind. Of himself as a child sitting so innocently in the man's office before some malevolent force decided to swoop down and steal from him the most precious thing in existence. Tala hugged the crying angel closer to him, waiting until the bout of emotion settled, before he decided to speak. "Can you continue?" His only response for a long minute was a slow nod before Kenny continued with his story.

"He was looking at something on his computer and started to moan about five minutes later. I remember him looking at me, back then I didn't know it, but now I can clearly remember the lust shining in his eyes. I remember when he called me around the table…he didn't even stop what he was doing as he asked me if I trusted him. And I just said yes…and he pushed me on top of the desk, pulling down my shorts. I screamed when he entered, I tried to get away, but he pinned me to the desk as he kept ramming into me like a mad man. I couldn't stop crying, even when he finished. After he cleaned me up…he fixed my clothes and told me never to say a word of what happened…"

"Bastard." Tala spat. "He ought to be shot."

"I agree, but that's not possible now. Two months later, he was involved in a car accident that claimed his very life. I thought I could forget that day, but I was wrong."

"What did your parents say?"

"They didn't know. You're the only other person who knows about it ever happening. When they asked why I was in pain and why I had been crying, I told them I had fallen down onto one of the toys in the playroom at daycare and they believed me." Kenny took a deep breath and waited. "Tala?"

"My angel; you truly are a fallen angel." Tala lifted Kenny's head once more and took hold of the lips that trembled from crying so hard. "Let me show you real love, Kenny. Let me make you forget about Victor and what he did. Let me love you and you'll never be far from my side ever again because so long as I live I'll never allow another soul to taint your beautiful eyes with tears ever again."

"Tala," Kenny whispered, staring at the man who held him.

"Tell me what is it you want the most right now," Tala said, staring into the eyes of the other. "I will not say another word if you still fear, but I promise with my heart that I won't hurt you, I could never do that to you."

"Tala…I…" Kenny felt tears sliding down his cheeks as he gazed at Tala. "I want…I want you…I want everything you're willing to give me."

"Then I will give you everything I have, as long as you're sure about this," Tala said, sitting up, his lips embracing the brunette's again. Kenny immediately opened his mouth, moaning when he felt the warm tongue combing a path gently over every area with the utmost love and care. While kissing the brunette, Tala allowed his hands to run lightly up Kenny's sides, feeling a shudder ride up his love's back. Breaking the kiss, Tala's fingers peeled the long t-shirt from Kenny's body, tossing it on the floor beside them as his head dipped down to kiss Kenny's neck. Tala's mouth gently kissed a path downwards, Kenny's back arch, a moan escaping his kissed bruised red lips; his hands moving from Tala's chest to rest on his shoulders for support.

"Tala…I've never been so sure about anything else in my life," Kenny smiled, wrapping his arms around Tala's neck, directing his head back up from where it was placing a path of butterfly kisses against the brunette's chest. Tala looked deep into the blue eyes, seeing the trust swell in his koi's eyes. "I want you…no, correction, I need you in my life, it's as simple as that Tala. I could never live without you."

Tala didn't say anything as he gracefully got to his feet; Kenny wrapped his legs around Tala's waist as the red head carried him to the bed, gently laying him onto it before climbing on himself, crawling over Kenny. Leaning down to kiss his koi once more, Tala's hands roamed a path downwards past Kenny's waist until his fingertips trailed along the inner warmth of Kenny's thighs, lightly prying them open. Once that task was done, Tala broke the kiss, listening to the moan escaping the back of his koi's throat when he let his thumb stroke the inner warmth of the other's thighs. Kenny arched up off the bed, giving Tala a chance to remove the last article of clothing remaining on his koi.

"Tala…" Kenny watched as Tala leaned down once more, starting a path at his neck before moving down, his tongue trailing down his collarbone. Momentarily, Tala stopped when he reached the two small rose color buds which had recently sprouted. Using his tongue to lick the sheen of perspiration around the taut buds, Tala flicked his tongue over the left one, receiving a hitch of breath from the brunette under him. Moving to the other one, Tala did the same, the body under him arching against his, causing Tala to moan at the friction occurring between their bodies. "Tala please…"

With a light smile, Tala continued his path downwards, his left hand gliding up to touch the quivering erection filling between Kenny's legs. Once more, Kenny cried out Tala's name, his body melting under the gentle ministrations of Tala's hand gliding slowly up and down his arousal in a slow, torturous pace which sent every nerve in the brunette's body in a wild frenzy.

"Tala…please…" Kenny moaned, arching up with another spasm as Tala's thumb pressed down against the slit, rubbing slow circles around it as more precum bubbled up. "I need you now…oh god I need you…"

"Should I continue?" Tala inquired, stopping his actions to stare at the completely flushed angel laying on the bed quivering. The sight made Tala want his precious angel even more as he removed his hand from around his love. Pulling back to take off clothes, Kenny sat up, touching the smooth, taut skin, Tala moaning when a mouth kissed the length of his chest, much as he had done to Kenny. He allowed the other's hands to roam over ever inch of his upper body before trailing lower.

Kenny watched Tala cry out his name when he decided to be a little bit more daring and sink his hands down into Tala's boxers brushing his fingertips against the sensitive skin which twitched at the slight touch. Moving his left hand down more, the body in front of Kenny's quivered as he administered much of the same treatment Tala gave him only moments ago. Tala's hips bucked upwards, a burning fire started in the pit of his stomach before expanding.

"K….Kenny…" Tala moaned. "St-stop…"

"Tala…have I done something wrong?" Kenny pulled his hands from out his koi's boxers, fear entering his eyes.

Tala turned lust hazed eyes to the fearful pair, shaking with a short smile before leaning forward, taking hold of Kenny's mouth in soothing kiss. "You've done nothing wrong I want us to take that step together. You don't mind do you?"

"No," Kenny said, shaking his head. "I want that too."

"Good," Tala smiled, leaning forward to kiss Kenny, then lightly laid him back down on the bed while he removed the last few articles of his clothing. Reaching over to the side of the bed in the nightstand drawer, Tala pulled out a small clear bottle. Pulling off the cork to the bottle, Tala turned the bottle upside down to let some of the oil dribble down over two of his fingers. "This might hurt a little, but I promise I'll be as gentle as possible."

"I know you will," Kenny whispered.

Kenny relaxed his body as Tala moved his hand down to the small puckered orifice, lightly stroking the outer area which caused a shudder to ride up Kenny's body, his back arching off the bed. His hands clenched the cover as his head lobbed to the side when the first finger finally managed to slip pass the tight ring as the second finger began working to stretch the hole. Crooking his fingers upward, Tala pushed in deeper, searching for that one spot which would send his koi to a whole new place.

"Tala!" Kenny all but screamed as Tala's seeking fingers brushed against his prostate. Another wave of pleasure swept over his body again as Tala continued stroking his fingers across the small bump, hearing his name cried out more wanton than before. After a minute, Tala pulled his hand from the hole, looking down and watching his koi pant heavily.

"Are you ready?" Tala questioned, climbing over his koi, awaiting an answer. Kenny turned lust hazed eyes upwards to his love.

"Yes," Kenny smiled, reaching up to stroke Tala's cheek.

Tala smiled, positioning himself at Kenny's opening before pulling the brunette's legs up around his waist to get better access to the orifice which awaited his entrance. Guiding the tip of his erection to the hole, Tala slowly pushed upwards, hearing a hitch of pain escape Kenny's mouth. Looking down, Tala saw the tears trickle down his angel's cheeks, Kenny's eyes shut tight while he bit his bottom lip. "Kenny…if you…"

"No…don't stop…please. I'll be fine," Kenny assured, opening his eyes to stare up at Tala. "You promised that you would be gentle, I trust you. So, keep going."

"All right." Tala continued to push up into Kenny, until the red head felt himself fully pass the tight ring of flesh. Waiting for a long minute to do anything, Tala leaned down, kissing away the tears which still fell, cooing words of love into the other's ear as he held onto Tala. "Kenny, it's going to be okay, I promise you." Pulling out, Tala slowly slid back in, doing that a couple of times until Kenny's hips reacted to the motion, meeting the slow, even thrusts as he kept taking Tala deeper until he was buried to the hilt within the body under him.

Pulling out once more, Tala pushed back in with a deeper thrust, hearing his name tumble from the red lips of his lover. Kenny was already seeing stars from the spot that Tala's fingers had managed to graze minutes ago. Tightening his hold on Tala's waist with his legs, he arched up, allowing the red head over him to sink in deeper, another thrust rubbing against Kenny's prostate, signalling another scream from the brunette. With each stride that Tala made, he drew both himself and Kenny closer to the edge.

"T-Tala!" Kenny moaned, his back arching once more, drawing Tala closer to his climax. The red head brought his hand down around his koi's arousal, tenderly pumping with each loving thrust that he made into the angel under him. Perspiration trickled down Tala's back, as he continued moving against the brunette. Leaning down, he captured the red lips once more, deepening the kiss, swallowing every moan until he felt the energy which had built up in his stomach swelled up until something in him snapped.

Tossing his head back, Tala continued his ministrations on Kenny until the brunette's body quavered under his, spiralling down the same cliff which held Tala in a grip. The few seconds that clasped the two in a satin vice seemed like an eternity. When the swirl of emotion between the two faded, Tala collapsed onto Kenny's shoulder, feeling his koi stroke his damp hair, their breaths ragged and listless.

"Tala…" Kenny said softly when he was able to speak.

"Hm?" Tala murmured, lifting up his head with a smile, staring into the blue eyes that stared at him so lovingly.

"Thank you…for everything," Kenny whispered.

"No, thank you," Tala replied, resting his head back on Kenny's shoulder, letting the silence of the room carry them away. Sheltering both scarred hearts away from the shadows of their past where both feel into peaceful slumber.