Two days passed. Then five and before she knew it, ten days had passed. When she told him she wouldn't bother him she had been telling the truth. But she didn't count on him seeking her out. She saw him everyday. She had only gone to the basement twice, but the days she didn't come, he went to her apartment.
That morning in her room, when she told him she was not longer able to have kids, he couldn't seem to find anything to say and had left soon after. But he had showed up the next day when she hadn't come to the basement. They didn't speak except for her asking him if he wanted a drink. When she brought him a beer, he grasped her wrist and pulled her into his lap silently.
When she tried to stand, he held her to him like a lifeline. When her startled gaze had met his, she was surprised to see a plea in his eyes. After a confused moment, she gave in. Sinking comfortably into the familiar lap, she felt his arms come around her. Unable to stop herself, silent tears ran down her face. She had missed this. So much.
It must have been hours later when she woke to him carrying her to bed. Her groggy mind had barely registered when he had climbed in behind her. His familiar presence had lulled her back to sleep, her first night in a long time without tears.
When she woke the next morning, he was gone. Only the scent of him on her pillows remained to tell her she wasn't going crazy. When the next few days fell into the same pattern, she grew increasing confused. She had missed him, -her- Steven. Not the imposter of two years that had taken his place. But if this whole thing was pity, she didn't want it.
So she returned to the basement, sure that his attentions were reserved for when they were alone. When she had gone to sit on the couch, he had actually stood and pulled her so she was once again sitting in his lap. In front of Donna and Eric. To her horror, tears had threatened. She had tried to get away, but his grip on her was steady, and she had collapsed into him. Burying her face in his neck, she sobbed.
She felt the rumble of his voice, but was unable to tell what was said. When she had calmed, she slowly looked up. Was relieved to find the basement empty aside from her and Steven. Finally asked the question that had been at the top of her mind.
"Why are you doing this?" Her voice was soft, but lined with a veil of desperation.
"I'm not sure." he answered quietly. "I just…I have to." He looked at her and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'll stop. If you ask me to." She searched his face and for the first time realized he hadn't been wearing his sunglasses for the last few days. Saw him asking her silently not to ask him to stop.
She opened her mouth and then closed it, swallowing thickly. Giving him a small smile, she sighed and shook her head. "It's fine. I…You're not expecting anything from me, are you?" Her voice was uncertain and she visibly relaxed when he looked horrified at the suggestion.
"Fuck, Jackie. I wouldn't do that to you."
Ignoring the pang to her vanity, she unconsciously started to run her hands through his hair. At first he tensed, but after seeing her almost content expression, let himself enjoy it. When her hand dropped away, he was disappointed. But when he saw that she had fallen asleep, he ignored the feeling. They stayed that way until he felt his legs start to fall asleep.
He stood, cradling her in his arms. Her slight frame was light in his arms and he found himself worrying if she had eaten that day. Deciding that he would make sure she ate when she woke, he sank onto the couch. He settled her between his legs, her head resting on is chest. He watched the steady rise and fall as she took each breath and drifted off himself.
When he woke, he was surprised to see Red watching them from his chair, his expression inscrutable. A quick glance told him Jackie was still asleep. "Hey, Mr. Forman." his voice was hoarse and he quietly cleared his throat. "What's up?"
For a moment, Red just stared at him. Just as Hyde was beginning to get self-conscious, he spoke. "It's about time she told you." his voice was quiet, but Hyde heard him just the same.
"You knew?" he asked, his voice pained.
Red nodded, "Yeah. Kitty told me. She found her in our backyard when she was losing your baby. Told me when she got home and also told me Jackie didn't want anyone to know. Wanted it to be a secret. Personally, I didn't think that anyone should have gone through that alone. So I kept an eye on her. Saw her heart break every time she saw you with your wife. And I knew why she wanted to keep it from you. You did a good job of pretending you didn't care, Steven. She believed it. Every goddamn second."
Hyde swallowed and tilted his head back, but found his tears falling anyway. "I know." he choked out.
"She loved you. Probably loves you still. Don't know how, but you wouldn't be able to hurt her the way you do if she didn't. No more, Steven. She deserves more than that."
Hyde closed his eyes and took a slow breath. "I never stopped loving her. Not once."
He looked to see Red giving him a sad smile. "I know. Help her through this. Better late than never."
"Yeah."
Red stood and looked down at him, "So. You know, foot in ass and all that."
"Of course."
Long after Red had left, Hyde watched her. She was beautiful, but the dark bags under her eyes and the deep hollows in her cheeks worried him. He had broken her, and now he needed to fix her.
Jackie went back to the basement the next day, finally told Donna, Eric and Michael about the baby. Could have sworn she saw Donna collapse into herself a bit. And when the pity got to be too much, she left. Drove around for a few hours, worrying and hoping that Steven would be at her apartment when she got home.
When she opened the door to the apartment, she was disappointed not to see Steven. But before she even closed the door, he was there. Holding a couple bags of groceries. She let him in and he preceded to cook her supper and badgered her till she finished it. She took a shower that night, dressed in her favorite nightgown. A pretty over-the-top frilly number that covered her from head to toe. It hadn't seen the light of day in over two years.
But when she looked in the mirror, she saw the girl that she no longer was. That night her grief was for who she no longer was, and who she wished she could be again. She wished for the simplicity of her life before. When her biggest worry was if she should buy that pretty pink shirt or the lavender skirt. Or in her case, both.
What had happened to her? When had she become this withdrawn, hopeless, sallow person?
But even as she asked herself the question, she knew the answer. It wasn't when Steven had walked away from her, it wasn't when Sam had taken her place, it wasn't even when she had lost her baby. It was when she had given up. When she finally abandoned hope and let her fear and despair take over. It was pathetic how easy it had been. But she wanted herself back. She knew she couldn't be who she was, but that didn't mean that she couldn't be someone new, someone stronger.
That night she fell asleep with Steven curled around her and felt something she hadn't felt in a long time.
Hope.
She next few days followed in the same pattern, Steven fed her, gave her the support she needed desperately and she slept each night with him holding her. But on the tenth day, she stumbled upon a conversation between Steven and Eric. She was at the top of the stairs, out of sight. The entire gang was there. Donna and Eric on the couch, Fez beside them, close to Hyde. Kelso sat in the lawn chair, obliviously sucking on a red popsicle.
She actually felt a small smile tugging on her lips, her friends. They were supporting her and she was soaking it up. But the question from Eric made her blood run cold. "Are you sure it was even your baby?" his query was met with silence.
She waited for one of them, any of them to defend her. But when there was nothing, she felt tears flood her eyes. Silently clasping a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs, she still waited. A silent plea ran through her mind. 'Please, Steven. Please.'
She barely heard the words he muttered, but she felt as if her entire body shut down when they reached her ears. "I don't know."
Her tears stopped, and her body felt numb. She slowly turned and walked back up the stairs. Giving Mrs. Forman a fake smile when she walked past her, ignoring the worried look she gave her. Made it back to her apartment, found the bottle of sleeping pills she had almost tossed out the day before. Swallowed as many as she could dry and walked back to bed. Fell asleep.
When she woke, the sterile smell of the hospital assaulted her nose. She kept her eyes shut because she heard voices in the room. "What the hell happened?" Angry voice, she recognized it as Red's.
"I don't know." Soft, scratchy. Steven.
Just like that, she remembered. He hadn't believed her, thought she had been lying to him. A tear ran down her cheek and a gentle hand brushed it away. "Jackie?" Oh, how she loved his voice. It had always sent shivers down her spine and a jolt low in her belly. But now, she ignored it. Pretended she was still asleep. She wasn't sure if he bought it, but he sighed and smoothed a hand through her hair.
After a few minutes, she did fall back asleep. When she woke next, a doctor was probing her stomach. Extreme tenderness made her hiss out in pain. The doctor looked pleased when she opened her eyes. He gave her a sincere smile and pulled out his light. After checking both of her eyes he stepped back. "It's about time you woke up. Your family and friends have been worried."
She turned away, "I don't have any friends." She couldn't say she didn't have family, because Mr. and Mrs. Forman were the only parents she had.
The doctor looked disappointed and gave her a tight smile. "If you're hungry, just press the call button beside you. A nurse will get you something." Still looking away, she nodded. She thought she heard him sigh before he left. When she thought about it, she felt hungry, but the idea of food sickened her. So she purposely pushed the call button off the bed, the clatter it made as it hit the floor making her jump.
She felt when Steven entered the room and turned her back to him. She felt him watching her and when he didn't say anything, she couldn't stand the silence. "She was yours. I was never with anybody else." She waited for his reaction, but when none came, she bit her lip to keep from crying. She tasted blood as her teeth broke the skin and thought it fitting.
She heard his retreating footsteps and dug her nails into her palms. He still didn't believe her.
When she heard the unmistakable sound on fists hitting flesh, she slowly sat up. Every muscle protested the movement, but she had to know what was going on. She slid off the bed and used it to support herself until she could stand. She moved to the door, pulling the IV along when it halted her motion.
The sight that greeted her made her jaw drop. Steven was being held back by Red and Eric was holding a hand to his broken lip, looking at him as if he'd lost his mind. "What the hell, Hyde?" Kitty, Donna, Kelso and Fez watched Hyde nervously.
"She heard you! She heard what you said!" Steven sagged in Red's grip and clenched his eyes shut. "She heard what I said." he said softly, his voice broken.
Jackie watched him, taking in his haggard appearance. "Steven." his name broke her lips before she could stop it and his eyes darted to her.
He shrugged off Red's arms and took the few short steps to her. His eyes searched hers and he brought his hands up to cup her cheeks. She watched him, fascinated as tears streaked down his face. "I know, Jackie. I know she was mine."
She closed her eyes and leaned her face into his palm. When he sank to his knees and pressed his face to her stomach she looked around at the shocked faces. "I'm sorry, Jackie. I'm so fucking sorry." his voice was muffled against her and she looked at the top of his head. His hands gripped her waist tightly, "Please don't-" he stopped and took a deep breath. It was unsteady as he released it and he looked up at her. "Don't leave me."
"Steven." her voice was weak and she could fell her lips shaking.
"I love you, Jackie. I love you."
She gave him a small smile, "I love you, too."
When he stood and crushed her into his grip, she leaned her head to his chest and grasped his t-shirt tightly. Fast footsteps coming down the hall made him look up and wince. The hospital security surrounded them and Hyde buried his face in her hair a moment before taking a step away from her and assuming his usual angry at the world stance.
"What's going on here?" One of the security demanded. Hyde shrugged and Red gave the man a tight smile.
"Nothing. Just a simple disagreement."
The security officer glared at Hyde, "We heard there was an altercation." He turned to Eric and eyed his bloody lip. "That looks pretty bad, son."
Eric smiled and shook his head. "This is nothing. You should have seen the time I fell down the stairs. Oh, and there was that time I ran into the wall. There was also that time I accidentally dropped a bowling ball on my foot. And the time-"
The security officer angrily cut him off and turned back to Hyde. "I don't want to come back up here. Understand?"
Hyde gave him a slight nod and as the men left took a deep breath. "Thanks, Forman." he said softly. "I'm sorry I hit you, man."
Eric shrugged of his apology and looked at Jackie. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
Not sure how to respond, she looked away. She heard his sigh of disappointment and immediately felt guilty, but not enough to make him feel better. After reaching up and lightly tracing Steven's jaw with her fingers, she slowly moved back to the bed. Her head was swimming and her muscles were shaking from disuse.
She sighed in relief when she made it to the bed and gratefully sank down on the soft surface. When she lay back, she was suddenly exhausted. Her eyes started to drift shut but before she fell asleep, she felt a hand take her own. When she opened her eyes, she expected to see Steven, but instead Fez stood before her. A nervous expression on his face.
"I am sorry, my Princess. I didn't hear Eric say that horrible thing."
"You were sitting right next to him." she said softly.
Fez cringed, "I was thinking about my needs." he muttered.
Jackie huffed out a laugh and shook her head. "I love you, Fez." she said affectionately.
He grinned, relieved he was forgiven. "I love you, my Princess." He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I can see you need your beauty sleep. So I will see you tomorrow, yes?"
She narrowed her eyes and mock glared at him, "Are you implying something?"
He gasped, "Of course not. You are beautiful, a paragon of perfection."
She sighed and relaxed into the pillows, "I needed that."
When Fez saw the teasing glint in her eyes, he huffed out a exasperated breath. "Good day!" He turned to leave.
"But Fez-"
"I said, Good Day!" He winked at her and left the room.
She smiled at his back and when Hyde walked in, she lifted the covers of the bed. He moved in beside her and she buried her face in his neck. She quickly fell asleep, her hand resting lightly on his stomach.
Hyde didn't sleep.
